"The  Imp  of  Mischief  obtrudes  the  board,  and  obstructs  Ezekiel's 
vision. —  See  pages  28  and  31. 


THE    MISHAPS 


OF 


MR.    EZEKIEL  PELTER 


ILLUSTRATED. 


CHICAGO: 
S.  C.  GRIGGS   AND   COMPANY. 

1875- 


Entered  according  to  act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1874,  by 

S.  C.  GR1GGS  &  COMPANY, 

in  the  office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington,  D.  C. 
"I  •"•All  Rights^ Reserjycf.    • 


PREFACE. 


The  author  of  this  volume  proposes,  simply,  through 
imaginary  persons  and  a  succession  of  amusing  situa 
tions,  to  expose  certain  social  errors  j  an  attempt  amply 
justified  by  authentic  precedents,  and  the  known  existence 
among  us  of  characters  and  associations  like  those  herein 
presented. 

The  Satire  —  if  it  is  so  regarded  —  will  be  found, 
in  its  ENTIRETY,  to  be  free  from  reflection  upon  any 
legitimate  and  consistent  organization  for  charity  or  good 
works ;  and  its  spirit,  if  considered  from  the  standpoint 
of  the  writer,  and  as  he  conceived  it,  cannot  offend  the 
most  fastidious  admirer  of  Christianity  and  good  morals. 

THE  AUTHOR. 


M12008 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER    I. 

Some  Flowers  from  a  Moral  Garden ;  and  their  Separate 
Scents  —  And  showing  how  they  color  and  perfume 
the  Actors  in  these  Chronicles,  -  PAGE  17 


CHAPTER    II. 

John,  the  Unregenerate,  is  mistaken  for  the  pious  Joseph ; 
and  he  appears  before  the  Missionary  Board  —  He 
fascinates  the  Emotional  Member,  and  tells  her  of 
the  Idol  Worshipers — Mr.  Pelter  tries  to  nip  a  Pois 
onous  Flower,  and  suffers  for  his  Vigilance — The 
Moral  Paragon  and  living  proof  of  Charity  is  himself 
subjected  to  suspicion,  PAGE  33 

11 


12  CONTEXTS. 


CHAPTER    III. 

Mr.  Pelter  as  the  Christian  Soldier  of  the  Board  —  He 
exposes  what  seemed  to  be  the  infidelity  of  Jo 
seph,  and  forms  a  league  with  Rachel  to  protect 
his  Lamb  —  Joseph  is  perplexed  by  Rachel's  jeal 
ousy  ;  and  he  confirms  suspicion  by  denying  her 
impeachment  —  Pelterian  sympathy  in  a  curious 
attitude ;  while  offering  his  "  boo-som  "  to  the  in 
jured  wife,  the  unexpected  husband  hastens  his 
ungraceful  exit  from  the  house  —  Mr.  Pelter  in 
Despond  —  No  more,  for  him,  the  sweet  and  cheap 
delights  of  Charity  —  His  "  Cross  "  instructs  him  in 
a  new  employment,  -  -  PAGE  50 


CHAPTER    IV. 

Mr.  Pelter's  nimbus  is  shaded  for  a  while,  but  his 
Virtues  dissipate  the  Shadows,  and  lead  him  from 
Despond  —  Now,  from  a  higher  niche,  his  bland- 
ness  beams  upon  the  Board  —  Miranda  tramples 
on  her  broken  Idol,  only  to  be  crushed  by  her 
new  Divinity  —  Joseph  is  proved  to  have  been 
where,  in  fact,  he  never  had  been,  and  this  in 
creases  his  perplexity  —  Mr.  Pelter  is  again  a 
Joss;  all  spangled  with  Miranda's  tears  of  pen 
itence,  -  -  PAGE  79 


CONTENTS.  13 


CHAPTER    V. 

Mr.  Pelter  and  Miranda  encounter  a  suspicious  "  Woo- 
man"-  — He  follows  her,  and  is  shocked  by  his 
Discoveries  —  He  makes  other  observations,  on  a 
dark  unlucky  night,  and  falls  into  a  curious  trap 
—  He  enters  the  "  Abode  of  Sin ; "  and  escapes, 
begrimed  and  battered,  but  with  Convincing 

Proof,  PAGE    98 

CHAPTER    VI. 

Mr.  Pelter  feels  a  vacuum  —  He  tells  Rachel  of  a 
New  Discovery,  and  cannot  comfort  her  —  Joseph 
finds  an  unexpected  ally  in  Ezekiel's  "  Cross  ;  "  and 
Rachel  is  confounded  by  his  discoveries,  PAGE  123 


CHAPTER    VII. 

Mr.  Pelter  and  Joseph's  wife  concoct  an  artful  and 
successful  plan  —  Joseph  wrestles  with  tempta 
tion,  and  finally  eludes  a  dangerous  enchantress 
—  He  escapes  one  danger,  to  fall  into  another 
with  the  jealous  Rachel  —  Julia  is  amazed  by  what 
she  sees  from  her  chamber  window ;  it  has  a 
strange,  suspicious  look,  and  is  rendered  stranger 
still  by  what  the  servants  say,  PAGE  144 


14  CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

John  is  mystified  by  Julia's  curious  fancies ;  and  the 
Imp  of  Discord  plays  havoc  in  the  house  — 
Julia  resorts  to  Mr.  Pelter  to  settle  her  perplex 
ities;  and  he  confounds  her  by  his  disclosures  — 
John  takes  counsel  on  his  wife's  insanity;  and 
nerves  himself  for  a  fight  with  Death,  PAGE  161 


CHAPTER    IX. 

Julia  marshals  all  her  fancies  in  a  ghostly  line,  and 
drives  them  from  her  brain  —  Mr.  Pelter  falls  into 
another  trap  —  His  rakish  look  provokes  the  ser 
vants'  merriment,  and  he  solemnly  reproves  them 
for  their  levity  —  The  Sheriff  takes  him  to  the  City 
Prison;  where  he  becomes  a  shining  Star,  PAGE  1 88 

CHAPTER    X. 

Julia  sees  the  White-faced  Woman,  and  hears  again 
the  Monstrous  Charge  —  Rachel  encounters  John 
in  the  lobby  of  the  theater  —  He  takes  the 
bridle  from  his  tongue,  and  lets  his  Fury  fly  — 
Joseph  watched  and  waited  for  his  absent  wife; 
but  she  did  not  come  —  He  asked  for  bread,  and 
received  a  stone,  -  -  .  PAGE  219 


CONTENTS,  15 


CHAPTER    XI. 

Joseph  at  last  finds  Rachel ;  but  he  finds  her  furi 
ous —  She  tries  to  punish,  and,  when  too  late, 
repents  —  She  becomes  another  woman ;  and  be 
gins  to  grow  in  Chanty,  -  PAGE  236 


CHAPTER    XII. 

Joseph  surprises  Mr.  Pelter  in  the  City  Prison  —  Mrs. 
Pelter  takes  the  lash,  and  expounds  a  new  the 
ology —  Ezekiel  leaves  the  Moral  Heights  and 
browses  in  the  Valley  of  Humiliation,  PAGE  252 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

Mrs.  Pelter  visits  Rachel  —  A  Doubting  Member  works 
a  reformation  in  the  Board  —  By  lopping  off  its 
nose,  she  destroys  its  love  of  scents — Joseph 
finds  a  Brother;  and  Mrs.  Pelter  finds  a  Key- 
The  last  perplexity  explained;  and  the  curtain 
drops,  -  PAGE  268 


CHAPTER   I. 

FLOWERS    FROM    A    MORAL    GARDEN,    AND    THEIR 
SEPARATE    SCENTS. 

THERE  are  men  yet  living  in  New  York,  who 
will  remember,  if  properly  reminded,  "Old  Israel 
Smith;"  unless  his  modest  etchings  "on  the 
sands  of  time"  have  been  washed  away  by  the 
shifting  currents  of  our  social  and  commercial  life. 

Smith  is  a  very  common  name ;  but  Israel  Smith 
is  not  so  common. 

If  Israel  could  have  known  to  what  strange  mis 
takes  such  a  common  name  as  Smith  would  lead, 
without  some  prcenomen  more  uncommon,  he  never 
would  have  named  his  children  John  and  Joseph. 
But  he  did  so  name  them,  and  their  strange  ex 
periences —  or  some  of  them  —  form  the  cocoon 
from  which  the  author  weaves  the  following  story. 

The  boys  were  twins.  So  alike  were  they  in  per 
sonal  appearance,  that  even  among  familiar  friends 
one  was  often  mistaken  for  the  other.  Their 
likeness  was  not  a  general  resemblance  simply, 
leading  to  occasional  mistakes  in  their  identity ; 


17 


18  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

it  was  a  perfect  likeness,  to  the  eye  of  ordinary 
observation,  and  to  nice  perceptions  a  distinction 
was  found  difficult.  Even  by  their  parents  —  when 
the  boys  were  not  together  —  John  was  often 
miscalled  "  Joe,"  and  Joseph  "John.". 

When  they  were  together,  it  was  possible  to 
observe  such  a  difference  in  expression,  as  to  give 
to  each  his  own  identity ;  but  this  was  not  so 
marked  as  to  be  observed  when  they  were  apart. 

If,  to  any  one,  a  resemblance  so  exact  seems  un 
natural,  or  opposed  to  the  common  observation  of 
mankind,  we  prove  the  doctrine  of  exceptions  by 
this  well-authenticated  fact:  and  the  fact  is  per 
fectly  consistent  with  proper  analogic  reasoning. 

All  of  us  have  seen  twin-born  children  bear 
ing  some  resemblance  to  each  other ;  and  some  of 
us  have  seen  such  a  resemblance  as  confuses  a 
casual  observer.  If,  then,  Nature,  in  well-known 
cases,  so  approaches  an  exact  similitude,  is  it  not 
reasonable  to  suppose  that,  in  instances  exceptional, 
Nature  may  so  fashion  twins  as  to  make  the  re 
semblance  perfect? 

But,  independent  of  all  reasoning,  we  have  the 
fact;  and  that,  for  us,  is  all-sufficient. 

They  had  their  father's  features ;  and  his  were 
of  that  sober  order,  usually  employed  by  sancti 
monious  spirits  in  making  what  is  called  "  God 
fearing  men."  Why  pattern  men  are  called 
"  God-fearing,"  rather  than  u  God-loving,"  is  only 


FLOWERS  FROM  A    MORAL    GARDEN.  19 

comprehended  by  lugubrious  souls.  Israel  was  a 
pattern  man :  that  is,  he  made  long  prayers,  with 
one  eye  open  to  our  fleshly  wants. 

As  the  boys  grew  up,  they  developed  dispo 
sitions  most  unlike ;  and  this,  to  Israel,  was  a 
perpetual  "  cross." 

"  If  John  could  only  be  like  Joseph  ! "  was 
his  pious  exclamation,  always  ended  by  a  pious 
sigh,  when  the  boys  were  mentioned  in  his  pres 
ence. 

Joseph  was  familiar  with  the  history  of  that 
Bible  character  for  whom  he  had  been  named ; 
and  he  said  —  whatever  may  have  been  his 
thought  —  that  if  the  wife  of  another  Potiphar 
should  try  him  with  lascivious  charms,  he  would 
prove  a  Joseph  in  his  virtue,  as  he  was  in  name. 

John  was  the  object  of  solicitude  and  prayer : 
he  was  the  "bad  boy" — the  unregenerate  —  and 
his  solemn  visage  was  a  mask,  behind  which 
laughed  perennial  Fun. 

He  was  much  about  the  wharves,  and  listened 
with  enthusiasm  to  graphic  pictures  of  the  "perils 
of  the  deep,"  of  genial  climes  where  Summer  is 
perpetual,  and  where  Oriental  charms  grace  sensu 
ous  pleasures. 

Joseph  sometimes  went  with  John,  and  he  found 
a  fund  of  entertainment  in  the  strange  enchant 
ments  of  the  sea.  He  listened  with  attentive  ear 
to  stories  of  untutored  savages,  in  islands  far 


20  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

away,  and  of  how  they  lived  in  the  supreme  con 
tentment  of  their  own  simplicity.  His  pious  ardor 
was  aroused,  and  he  was  all  impatience  to  plant, 
in  such  a  fruitful  soil,  the  seeds  of  discord  and 
dogmatic  disputation. 

"  What  a  field  for  missionary  work ! "  was 
Israel's  commentary,  as  Joseph  told  the  stories 
o'er. 

Each  of  the  boys  began,  unconsciously,  to  pre 
figure  in  his  mind  the  coining  years ;  and,  before 
they  were  old  enough  for  any  actual  service,  they 
made  their  mimic  voyages  in  their  mother's  wash- 
tub.  When  they  had  reached  a  proper  age,  Israel 
found  them  places,  on  different  vessels ;  each  for 
a  lengthy  voyage :  Joseph  —  the  pride  of  Israel's 
heart — for  the  South  Pacific;  and  John  —  the  un- 
regenerate — for  the  glamours  of  the  Orient. 

After  this,  for  thirty  years,  they  roved  the 
seas ;  and  during  all  that  time  they  did  not  see 
each  other.  They  made  occasional  returns  to  the 
family  home,  but,  it  so  happened,  their  visits  were 
at  different  times. 

About  ten  years  after  the  boys  had  shipped  as 
nascent  tars,  the  good  man  Israel,  on  a  bed  of 
sickness,  began  to  make  the  final  footings  in  the 
ledger  of  his  life,  that  he  might  find  a  proper 
balance  to  show  against  the  unseen  book  of  the 
world  to  come.  He  musi;  have  found  the  balance 
favorable,  for,  with  a  complacent  smile,  and  with- 


FLOWERS  FROM  A   MORAL    GARDEN.  21 

out  a  murmur  or  regret,  lie  left  a  benediction 
in  the  flitting  air,  and  gave  up  the  ghost. 

His  wife  had  gone  before  him ;  and,  being 
ever  faithful,  perhaps  she  had  gone  to  sweep  and 
garnish,  with  celestial  fingers,  in  the  promised 
house,  as,  for  many  years  and  with  flagging 
strength,  she  had  swept  and  garnished  in  the 
house  of  Mundus,  against  the  time  of  Israel's 
coming. 

With  the  snapping  of  these  cords  of  life,  the 
connecting  link  between  John  and  Joseph  Smith 
was  also  snapped.  Neither  knew,  with  certainty, 
where  the  other  could  be  found ;  and  they  soon 
discovered  that  there  were  so  many  other  John 
and  Joseph  Smiths  that  the  common  name  was 
like  another  sea  to  them,  and  they  were  merged 
in  it. 

When  rain-drops  fall,  from  clouds  surcharged, 
they  patter  on  our  shingles  with  their  separate 
beats ;  but  when  they  fall  upon  the  sea  they 
give  no  separate  sounds,  and  only  serve  to  swell 
the  mighty  roar  which  swallows  them.  For 
Israel's  shingles,  these  boys  each  had  his  sepa 
rate  sound ;  but  when  plunged  in  the  sea  of 
Smiths,  they  soon  were  wholly  lost,  and  not  so 
much  as  a  phosphorescent  glimmer  marked  where 
they  had  fallen. 

At  the  date  of  the  following  incidents,  years 
had  passed  since  either  had  received  a  word  of 


22  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

information   in   relation   to  the  other,  and  neither 
knew   that   the    other  was   alive. 

Both  of  them  were  saving  of  their  money;  and 
they  improved  each  opportunity  to  increase  the 
store.  In  every  port  where  bargains  could  be 
had,  they  made  such  purchases  as  they  had  trans 
portation  for ;  and  then  they  sold  or  bartered 
them  at  other  ports,  where  generous  profits  could 
be  realized.  Such  perpetual  accretions,  through 
three  decades — added  to  their  pay — made  at  last 
a  sum  quite  snug ;  for,  with  their  occasional  pro 
motions,  their  field  for  barter  and  their  trans 
portation  limits  were  enlarged. 

Their  natural  dispositions  remained  unchanged 
in  every  changing  scene ;  unless  there  was  a 
change  in  Joseph,  where  there  seemed  to  be  a 
growth  of  pious  zeal  in  the  cause  of  foreign 
missions. 

Some  stories  have  been  told  of  Joseph,  reflect 
ing  on  his  honesty  when  entrusted  with  merchant 
able  supplies  for  contented  savages,  who,  in  re 
ality,  needed  no  supplies ;  but  as  to  all  of  these 
reports  there  was  the  proverbial  "  other  side," 
which,  in  Joseph's  view,  cleared  the  ugly  shades 
away,  'and  left  his  record  like  a  sunny  sky,  after 
scudding  clouds  have  passed,  looking  brighter  for 
their  passage. 

What    was    he    to    do    with   a   useless    cargo  ? 
Clothing,   for   example,   suited   to   the    climate    of 


FLOWERS  FROM  A   MORAL    GARDEN.  23 

the  Northern  Pole,  was  hardly  suitable  for  the 
natives  of  the  South  Pacific.  Spasmodic  charity 
did  not  stop  to  think  of  this ;  and  why  should 
not  Joseph  make  some  fitter  disposition?  If  he 
was  offered  money  for  the  cargo,  should  he  refuse 
to  take  it?  Was  it  not  a  providential  "lift" 
for  him,  and  to  no  one's  injury  ?  Surely  the 
natives,  to  whom  it  had  been  sent,  had  no  use 
for  it. 

Joseph  could  reason  on  these  doubtful  ques 
tions  most  adroitly ;  and  I  can  not  do  him  justice 
in  the  statement  of  his  nice  distinctions. 

"  He    could   distinguish,    and   divide 
A   hair,    'twixt   south   and    southwest   side." 

John,  with  his  blunt  perceptions  in  matters 
ethic,  might  and  would,  undoubtedly,  have  called 
the  whole  transaction  by  an  ugly  name.  But 
John  could  never  comprehend  such  questions. 

Both  at  length  returned  to  their  native  city ; 
each  with  a  resolve  to  quit  the  sea,  and  find  the 
comforts  of  a  settled  home. 

They  found  the  city  now  much  changed  from 
what  it  was  when  Israel  first  began  to  tell  them 
of  its  wickedness,  and  for  a  time  they  felt  like 
strangers. 

The  remarkable  resemblance  of  their  childhood 
was  still  preserved,  and  similar  employments  had 
given  them  a  similar  physical  development ;  even 


24  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

in  complexion  they  were  the  same,  being  bronzed 
by  like  exposures. 

Within  a  year  after  their  return,  both  were 
married. 

Their  wives  were  as  different,  in  each  dis 
tinctive  physical  development,  as  can  be  well 
imagined ;  and  in  mind  and  temperament  they 
were  as  far  apart. 

John's  wife  was  Julia.  Perpetual  sunshine 
rested  on  her  face,  and  beamed  in  all  her  smiles. 
Her  heart  was  a  perennial  spring,  and  bubbling 
fun  gave  music  to  its  constant  flow.  She  was 
well  developed  in  every  turn  of  form  and  limb, 
and  was  comely  in  her  look.  In  activity,  she 
was  as  supple  as  an  antelope,  and  could  almost 
rival  an  athlete.  She  had  looked  behind  John's 
somber  mask,  and  found  a  congenial  spirit  there ; 
with  this  she  toyed  and  coquetted  for  awhile, 
and  then  she  embraced  and  loved  it.  Before 
their  marriage,  she  gave  John  due  notice  of  the 
quickness  of  her  jealous  choler ;  and  after  mar 
riage,  she  was  not  wanting  in  occasional  remind 
ers  of  it. 

John  was  not  at  all  disturbed  by  this,  for,  by 
nature,  he  was  constant,  and  Julia  was  supreme 
in  his  affections. 

Joseph's  wife  was  Rachel  —  an  incarnate  Pene- 
tential  Sigh.  Meekness,  and  a  constant  sense  of 
worminess,  were  prominent  in  her  professions. 


FLOWERS  FROM  A    MORAL    GARDEN.  25 

44  All  of  us  are  worms ! "  she  frequently  re 
marked,  in  her  sprightly  style  of  conversation. 

Her  lack  of  every  subtle  grace  and  charm 
was,  to  her,  a  most  consoling  fact,  since  it  pro 
tected  her  from  vanity. 

"  The  besetting  weakness  of  our  sex ! "  as  she 
sententiously  observed. 

In  her  angular  construction,  she  formed  an 
outward  type  of  her  inward  nature ;  and  all  her 
juices  were  acidulated.  Nearly  every  one  be 
lieved  her  to  be  a  hypocrite;  but  Joseph  found 
in  her  the  chrysalis  of  an  unfledged  saint. 

With  such  wives  —  whose  virtues  will  hereafter 
more  strikingly  appear  —  John  and  Joseph  settled 
down,  but  in  different  sections  of  the  city. 

Being  differently  engaged,  even  here,  they  did 
not  chance  to  run  across  each  other ;  and  hav 
ing  names  like  scores  of  others,  these  were  insig 
nificant.  Each  believed  the  other  to  be  still  upon 
the  sea. 

Both  had  the  means  of  living  well,  and  they 
did  live  quite  respectably. 

Soon  ufter  this,  Joseph's  missionary  zeal  began 
to  find  its  social  trumpeters ;  and  it  was  not  long 
before  "  The  Ladies'  Board  of  Foreign  Missions," 
then  in  the  flush  of  its  first  enthusiasm,  became 
excited  by  reports  of  his  marvelous  adventures. 

It  was  at  once  determined  by  the  Board  that 
his  experience  would  be,  to  them,  invaluable ;  and 


26  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

Mr.  Pelter — Ezekiel  Pelter  —  was  instructed  to 
secure  Joseph's  presence. 

Mr.  Pelter  was  the  oleaginous  member  of  the 
Board,  and  he  advised  the  ladies  in  the  business 
details  of  their  work. 

Sanctimonious  scents-  always  perfumed  his  oily 
chunks  of  wisdom,  and  made  them  most  agree 
able.  He  was  so  in  love  with  charity,  that  he 
lived  on  it :  not  in  a  shabby,  slip-shod  way,  but 
quite  genteelly.  "  Charity  suffer eth  long,  and  is 
kind,"  saith  the  preacher;  and  Ezekiel  Pelter  was 
a  living  proof  of  it.  If  his  right  hand  ever  did 
a  stroke  of  honest  labor,  it  was  done  so  cun 
ningly  that  his  left  hand  knew  not  of  it. 

He  called  himself,  sometimes,  a  vessel;  some 
times  a  worm  ;  and  sometimes  the  most  debased 
of  sinners ;  but  he  did  not  really  think  himself 
a  vessel,  or  a  worm,  or  a  sinner  even  ;  and 
when  he  addressed  his  Maker  (as  he  did  on 
every  possible  occasion)  it  was  in  such  a  pat 
ronizing  way  as  to  show  at  once  that  he  thought 
himself  entitled  to  a  special  hearing,  and  that 
God  was  honored  by  his  notice. 

Except  when  devotionally  engaged,  or  admin 
istering  some  pious  admonition,  a  perpetual  bland- 
ness  settled  on  his  shining  face,  and  gave  im 
pressive  unction  to  his  learned  speech  ;  and  lie 
was  never  known  to  differ  in  opinion  from  any 
one  who  might  extend  a  favor. 


FLOWERS  FROM  A    MORAL    GARDEN.  27 

He  was  addressed,  and  spoken  of,  in  various 
ways  —  and  sometimes  in  peculiar  ways.  Among 
those  most  familiar  were  the  following : 

By   Ms   wife  —  "  PELTER  ! " 

She  spoke  the  name  with  a  sharp  and  snap 
ping  sound,  as  though  her  jaws  were  hung  on 
springs  of  steel. 

He  always  made  quick  movements  when  he 
heard  this  voice  ;  for.  when  unusually  excited, 
she  could  make  the  air  cerulean  ;  —  and  she  did, 
sometimes. 

This  was  Ezekiel's  "  cross  " — this  wife  of  his 
—  and  the  ladies  of  the  Board,  without  excep 
tion,  pitied  him.  When  he  discovered  that  they 
pitied  him,  he  bore  his  cross  like  a  crusader  in 
the  Holy  Wars  —  always  conspicuous.  It  is  said 
that  he  could  dissolve  the  Board  in  tears  by  his 
pictures  of  domestic  trials,  and  that  on  such 
occasions  his  large  and  spotless  handkerchief 
played  a  leading  part. 

By   the    badgered —  "  Pelter,  AGAIN  !  " 

These  words  were  spoken  usually  as  profane 
men  utter  maledictions  ;  but  Ezekiel's  mail  was 
proof.  When  the  ladies  heard  the  maledicent 
tone  they  were  righteously  indignant ;  but  when 
they  saw  Ezekiel  with  such  a  calm  and  placid 
look,  and  such  an  impressive  gesture  of  his  hand, 
wave  the  offensive  words  away,  their  anger  was 
forgotten  in  their  growing  admiration. 
2 


28  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  He  was  persecuted,"  Ezekiel  would  say ;  and 
the  effect  was  magical. 

One  of  the  sisters,  more  emotional  than  the 
rest,  would  even  clasp  his  hand  and  raise  her 
tearful  eyes  to  his  in  an  actual  oversow  of  sym 
pathy. 

By    the    naughty   boys — "  Old   Peltcr!" 

Ezekiel  was  too  old  a  pelter,  and  too  wise  a 
one,  to  attack  these  wandering  Arabs  of  the 
street ;  and  as  a  duck  sheds  rain  from  its  oily 
back,  he  shed  the  pelts  of  gamin. 

By  the  ladies  of  the  Board  —  "  Mr.  P-e-l- 
t-e-e-r,"  with  a  lingering,  loving  accent,  which 
always  seemed  to  touch  his  noble  heart. 

Before  this  he  bowed,  with  his  hand  upon  his 
waistcoat.  What  emotions  were  unspoken  there, 
and  covered  by  that  hand,  they  could  easily  im 
agine. 

Such  "  Ladies'  Boards"  are  organized,  ostensi 
bly,  for  foreign  service  ;  and  it  is  supposed  that 
they  employ  themselves  in  the  affairs  of  distant 
countries.  We  see  them  mount  their  instruments 
for  indefinite  ranges,  and,  with  ostentatious  bear 
ing,  prepare  to  sweep  the  distant  heavens.  Ad 
miring  this  sublime  astronomy,  we  look  for  new 
developments  and  visit  the  observatory  ;  the  tel 
escope  is  there,  swinging  on  its  axis,  in  the  bi 
sected  dome,  but  it  creaks  with  the  rust  of  long 
non-usage  as  it  swings.  Where  are  the  observers? 


The  lingering,  loving  accent,  touched  his  noble  heart. 


FLOWERS  FROM  A   MORAL   GARDEN.  31 

We  find  them  looking,  not  through  it,  but  through 
their  little  microscopes,  and  chattering  like  a  roost 
of  magpies,  as  they  search  for  stains  upon  their 
neighbors'  garments. 

To  such  ignoble  ends,  come,  sometimes,  these 
great  pretensions  ! 

The  Board,  of  which  Ezekiel  was  a  member, 
had  its  supply  of  microscopes ;  and  the  ladies 
were  quite  expert  in  the  use  of  them.  It  was 
thought  —  among  themselves  —  that  there  was  not 
so  much  as  a  single  "  beam "  in  all  their  eyes, 
and  that  this  enabled  them  to  look,  with  un 
clouded  vision,  for  "  motes  "  in  the  eyes  of  others. 
What  would  have  seemed  to  them  suspicious, 
if  observed  in  one  outside  the  Board,  was  regard 
ed  with  complacency,  and  even  with  approval, 
in  a  member  of  the  Board. 

The  emotional  member  —  who  would  sometimes 
take  Ezekiel's  hand,  and  overflow  with  sympathy 
—  will  serve  to  illustrate. 

Her  name  was  Miranda  Trap ;  or,  as  Ezekiel 
loved  to  call  her,  "M.y-rindy."  By  other  mem 
bers,  she  was  spoken  of  as  "  peculiar  sometimes  "  ; 
and,  by  the  irreverent,  she  was  oftener  spoken  of 
as  "gushing." 

If  she  was  a  vessel  —  and  she  sometimes  claim 
ed  to  be — she  was  a  genuine  Antique,  and,  be 
yond  a  question,  cracked ;  for,  upon  the  slightest 
provocation  she  would  leak,  most  copiously. 


32  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Tliem  tears !  My-n'mft/,"  Ezekiel  would  say, 
with  his  hand  upon  her  head;  and  then  he  would 
wrestle  with  his  own  emotion.  Let  future  poets 
call  her  Niobe. 

To  borrow  here  the  poetic  name,  Niobe  had 
found  that  a  "  fellow-feeling "  jnakes  us  wondrous 
kind  ;  and,  to  such  questionable  lengths  did  this 
feeling  bear  her  ardent  soul,  that  she  burned  to 
break  Ezekiel's  cross,  and  to  anoint  him  with  her 
tearful  unguents. 

Ezekiel  was  not  so  cold  or  passionless  as  not 
to  feel  Miranda's  sympathy ;  and  it  was  very 
precious  to  him.  So  this  good  man  found  here 
a  refuge  from  domestic  storms. 

The  ladies  of  the  Board  observed  occasional 
displays  of  tenderness  between  them ;  but  they 
never  frowned,  for  they  knew  Ezekiel's  trials  and 
the  spiritual  nature  of  his  comforter. 

Had  not  the  Board  determined  to  send  for 
Joseph  Smith,  it  is  difficult  to  say  what  might 
have  been  the  issue  of  this  growing  fervor  be 
tween  Ezekiel  and  Miranda ;  and  perhaps  some 
poisonous  flower  might  have  blossomed  from  it, 
to  infect  the  moral  garden  of  the  Board. 

What  happened,  is  reserved  for  another  chapter. 


CHAPTER    II. 

MR.   PELTER  MAKES   A  SAD   DISCOVERY. 

MR.  PELTER  knew  where  Joseph  lived ;  and, 
in  company  with  others,  he  had  seen  him  at  his 
house. 

When  there,  Ezekiel,  in  his  peculiar  and  im 
pressive  way,  displayed  his  fascinations ;  and  so 
successfully,  that  Joseph  was  decidedly  impressed 
by  them.  By  many  little  marks  of  deference  and 
respect  Joseph  showed  his  admiration  for  Ezekiel, 
who  seemed,  in  spiritual  nature,  of  kin  to  him. 

If  the  good  man  swelled  a  little  as  he  noticed 
this,  it  was  but  natural ;  and  in  this  he  showed 
that,  in  trivial  things,  he  did  not  exalt  himself 
above  humanity,  as  he  did  in  greater  things. 

Afterward  Ezekiel  reported  to  the  Board  some 
of  Joseph's  conversation,  but  he  could  not  spice 
it  with  the  new  and  strange  aromas  which  Joseph 
gave  to  it.  What  he  did  repeat  only  served  to 
tantalize  the  Board,  and  to  make  the  members 
eager  to  behold  this  hero  of  a  hundred  tales. 
Miranda  Trap,  among  the  others,  listened,  with 


34  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

wide-eyed  wonder,  to  Ezekiel's  report;  for,  in  it, 
he  himself  was  prominent.  She,  too,  insisted 
that,  if  possible,  Joseph  should  be  brought  to 
them. 

They  were  so  impatient  that  they  resolved  to 
wait  beyond  their  usual  time ;  for,  if  Mr.  Pelter 
should  bring  the  traveler  back  with  him,  he 
mio'ht  advise  them  in  their  work :  it  was  vision- 

o 

ary  work,  though  they  called  it  mission  -ary,  and 
in  their  view  of  things  it  was  all  the  same. 

Ezekiel  did  not  know,  and  in  fact  he  was  in 
clined  to  question,  whether,  at  such  an  hour  in 
the  day  Joseph  could  be  found  at  home  ;  but  he 
yielded  to  the  ladies'  wishes  with  his  usual  ur 
banity,  and  took  his  broad-brim  hat,  and,  with 
a  twirl  of  his  large  and  spotless  handkerchief 
around  it,  to  make  it  "  slick,"  he  bowed  and 
started  off. 

While  jostling  through  the  Broadway  throng, 
with  his  eyes  upon  the  street,  that  he  might  call 
a  stage  when  the  proper  one  should  come,  he 
came  in  heavy  contact  with  a  passer-by.  The 
passer-by  was  much  more  earnest  than  polite  in 
what  he  said  to  him,  and  when  Ezekiel  turned, 
with  — 

"  I  beg  your  jt?ar-don,  sir,"  upon  his  lips,  the 
passer-by  was  out  of  sight. 

"Bless   me!"    said   Ezekiel. 

Whether  he  was  speaking  to  the  passer-by,  or 


A    SAD  DISCOVERY.  35 

invoking   blessings  on   himself,  or   addressing  one 
on  whom  his  eyes  were  fixed,  it  is  impossible  to  say. 

He  saw  a  familiar  face,  with  a  look  of  amuse 
ment  on  it,  turned  in  his  direction. 

Holding  out  one  hand,  and  with  the  other 
lifting  off  his  broad-brim  hat,  he  approached  the 
wearer  of  the  smiling  face. 

"  How  do  you  do,"    said   he,  impulsively. 

"  I  am  very  well,  sir,"  was  the  quiet  answer ; 
and  the  smiling  face  was  merrier  than  before. 

"  I  was  on  my  way  to  see  you,  sir,"  continued 
Mr.  Pelter ;  and  now  he  made  another  offer  of 
his  hand. 

The  smiling  eyes  did  not  appear  to  know  him, 
nor  did  their  owner  take  the  offered  hand. 

"  My  name  is  Pelter!  Ezekiel  Pelter!  of  the 
Missionary  Board!"  the  good  man  still  con 
tinued  ;  and  now  his  blandness  was  like  a  halo 
around  his  smiling  face.  "  Do  you  not  remember 
me?" 

"  There  is  some  mistake,  no  doubt,"  replied  the 
smiling  stranger,  "  for  I  never  saw  you,  sir,  and 
the  name  of  Pelter  was  never  on  my  log-book." 

"Surely  you  are  Mr.  Smith?"  said  Ezekiel, 
puzzled. 

"  Oh,  yes ;  and  there  are  a  thousand  other 
Smiths,"  replied  the  stranger,  pleasantly. 

"  But,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  with  assurance,  "  you 
are  the  son  of  Israel  Smith !  and  have  lived  for 


36  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

thirty  years  upon  the  sea !  There  are  not  a 
thousand  4  other  Smiths '  to  answer  this  descrip 
tion  ! " 

"  You  do  appear  to  know  me,"  said  the  stran 
ger,  in  surprise ;  "  but,  for  the  life  of  me,  I 
can't  make  you  out!  Perhaps  it  is  your  rig 
that's  strange.  In  what  waters  did  we  meet?" 

Now  Mr.  Pelter  was  not  pleased  by  this  reply, 
for  he  believed  that  Joseph  Smith  had  noticed 
him  particularly,  and  it  was  something  new,  in 
his  experience,  to  have  any  one  forget  him. 

Had  this  been  Joseph  Smith,  he  would  have 
been  remembered ;  for  Joseph  had  admired  the 
oily  look  and  words  of  Mr.  Pelter.  But  this 
was  John,  not  Joseph,  Smith. 

With  a  chagrined  and  injured  look,  Mr.  Pelter 
now  continued  : 

"  The  ladies  would  be  pleased  to  meet  you  at 
their  rooms." 

44  What  ladies?"    inquired   John. 

This  question  was  a  fresh  offense,  for  Joseph 
had  expressed  a  special  wish  to  meet  the  ladies 
of  the  Board. 

With  a  crushing  dignity  and  his  severest  look 
of  pious  indignation,  Ezekiel  now  replied :  u  The 
Ladies'  Board  of  Foreign  Missions,  sir!" 

Unscathed  by  the  lightning  of  Ezekiel's  glance, 
and  all  unconscious  of  his  anger,  John  again 
incurred: 


A    SAD   DISCOVERY.  37 

"And  what  do  they  want  of  me?" 

This  was  too  much,  even  for  Christian  equan 
imity  ;  and  Mr.  Pelter  would  have  turned  away 
from  him  with  sublime  contempt,  had  he  not  re 
membered  with  Avhat  a  flourish  he  had  described 
to  the  ladies  of  the  Board  his  flattering  reception 
by  Joseph  Smith.  Remembering  this,  he  hesi 
tated.  It  would  not  do  to  now  confess  that  Mr. 
Smith  had  "cut  him"  on  the  street.  He  must 
pocket  the  personal  indignity  and  have  Mr. 
Smith  return  with  him,  or  belittle  the  imposing 
figure  he  had  made  before  the  ladies  of  the 
Board  when  describing  his  reception. 

He  could  pocket  an  indignity ;  in  fact,  he  had 
done  so  a  hundred  times  —  it  was  necessary  in  his 
employment ;  but  he  could  not  belittle  the  im 
portance  of  Ezekiel  Pelter  in  the  estimation  of 
Board.  This  he  lived  on,  and  he  was  not  so 
reckless  as  to  fly  in  the  face  of  his  bread  and 
butter. 

So,  with  all  his  self-importance  gone,  and  with 
grief  and  indignation  in  his  heart,  he  answered : 

"  They  would  like  to  hear  something  of  your 
travels,  sir." 

"Why,  bless  their  hearts!  I  would  like  to 
please  them,"  John  replied  ;  "  and  I  have  a  little 
time  to  spare.  How  far  is  it?" 

"It's  very  near,"   Ezekiel  said. 

And,  with  this,  they  walked  along  together. 
2* 


38       THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

44  How  did  you  know  me?"  inquired  John,  as 
they  walked  along. 

"  Know  you ! "  replied  Ezekiel,  unable  longer 
to  restrain  himself.  "Did  I  not  talk  with  you? 
—  in — your — own  —  house?  " 

"  In  —  my  —  house!"  said  John  deliberately,  and 
looking  curiously  at  Mr.  Pelter. 

"  I  wonder  if  the  old  chap  drinks,"  was  his 
reflection. 

In   a   little    time    they   reached   the  rooms. 

When  the  ladies  perceived  them  coming,  and 
heard  Ezekiel's  well-known  voice  say,  "This  way 
sir,"  there  was  a  buzzing  in  the  room.  Every 
one  was  instantly  engaged  in  some  new  arrange 
ment  of  her  dress,  or  in  fixing  on  some  striking 
posture,  and  before  the  door  was  opened,  all  were 
ready,  and  apparently  engaged  in  some  important 
work  in  hand.  Of  course,  they  were  so  much 
engaged  that  they  did  not  hear  Ezekiel  enter,  and 
were  much  surprised  when  they  saw  him  in  the 
room,  with  Mr.  Smith  beside  him ;  and,  of  course, 
one  lady  cried  : 

"Oh!     Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r!" 

Then  all  took  notice  of  the  distinguished  pres 
ence,  and  the  stranger  was  received  in  becom 
ing  form. 

It  is  to  be  regretted  that  Ezekiel  felt  the  chill 
of  his  street  encounter  on  him  now.  Except 
for  this,  these  pages  would  be  graced  by  some 


A    SAD  DISCOVERY.  39 

exalted  and  inspiring  words  from  him;  for  there 
never  was  a  better  time  than  now  for  him  to 
speak.  So  it  is,  that  all  of  us  are  made  to  suf 
fer,  through  a  great  and  good  man's  injury  ! 

The  ladies  looked  for  something  from  Ezekiel  ; 
and  Miranda's  well  was  full.  But  not  a  touch 
ing  or  a  brilliant  word  did  Mr.  Pelter  utter  :  he 

<D 

was  walking  in  a  cloud,  and  his  thoughts  were 
very,  very  bitter. 

Not  even  this  detracted  from  his  majestic  port, 
and  with  graceful  motions  of  his  hand,  he  per 
formed  the  separate  introductions. 

"  How  can  I  serve  you,  ladies?"  was  John's 
first  inquiry,  when  the  introductions  were  con 
cluded. 

This  broke  the  spell  of  awkward  silence,  and 
Miranda,  moved  by  her  gushing  and  impulsive  na 
ture,  quickly  answered : 

"  Oh,  sir !  tell  us  of  your  strange  adventures ! 
Of  the  sights  you  've  seen !  and  of  the  poor, 
deluded  idol-worshipers  ! " 

"  Do  you  pity  them?"  asked  John,  turning  to 
the  excited  maiden. 

"  O  I   I   do  !    I   do  ! "    exclaimed   Miranda. 

"  Then  pity  me — and  all  mankind,"  said  John, 
with  a  pleasant,  smiling  look,  and  bowing  to  the 
gushing  vessel. 

"What  do  you  mean,  sir?"  asked  Miranda, 
puzzled,  and  yet  much  pleased  by  his  attention. 


40  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  All  of  us  are  idol- worshipers ! '  answered 
John. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Smith !  What  do  3*011  mean  ? "  Mi 
randa  asked  again  ;  feeling  strangely  fluttered  by 
his  smiling  look. 

"  What  senseless  idols  do  we  worship?"  re 
sponded  John.  "You  are  one  of  them,  and  yet 
seem  all  unconscious  of  our  adoration ! 

Here  John  bowed,  profoundly,  with  his  hand 
upon  his  heart,  and  the  look  which  began  to 
sparkle  in  his  eyes  was  mistaken  for  one  of  ten 
derness,  by  the  gushing,  and  now  blushing  maid 
en  ;  and  she  answered — looking  rosy  as  she  spoke 
—by  another  question : 

"And  —  is   it — us   you   worship?" 

Here,  the  Antique  Vessel  fairly  shone ;  and 
John  replied  — 

"Why   not?" 

Ezekiel  was  restless  and  excited  now.  What 
did  those  blushes  mean,  upon  the  faded  cheeks 
of  his  My-rindy?  The  Austere  Member  was  stand 
ing  by  Ezekiel  —  nearly  behind  the  visitor  —  and 
they  could  hear  the  conversation  with  Miranda, 
and  see  her  flushed  and  speaking  face. 

"Did  you  ever  hear  such  nonsense?"  she  whis 
pered  cautiously  in  Ezekiel's  ear.  "  See  her 
smirk  —  and  simper  —  the  foolish  girl!  A  pretty 
looking  idol  she  would  make !  He 's  making  a 
fool  of  her!" 


A    SAD   DISCOVERY.  41 

Her  feelings  would  have  been  quite  different, 
no  doubt,  had  she  been  standing  in  Miranda's  place. 

Beads .  of  perspiration  began  to  start  on  Eze- 
kiel's  face,  and  as  he  wiped  them  off,  other 
beads  would  quickly  form ;  when  the  Austere 
Member  spoke  to  him,  the  beads  began  to  run 
in  little  rills  in  the  wrinkles  of  his  face. 

"Is  it  so  warm?"  the  Austere  Member  asked, 
looking  at  his  glowing  face.  "  I  had  not  no 
ticed  it." 

"I'll  make  it  warm  for  him!"  said  Ezekiel, 
spitefully,  and  glaring  on  the  unconscious  John. 

"  Why,  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r  ! "  exclaimed  the  Mem 
ber.  "  Come  this  way  !  he  will  overhear  you ! " 

With  this,  they  drew  off  together,  to  another 
portion  of  the  room.  Some  of  the  other  mem 
bers,  seeing  this,  followed  after  them  ;  and  they 
were  soon  engaged  in  low-toned  conversation. 
Soon,  other  members  followed,  until  Miranda  was 
left  alone  with  the  distinguished  traveler. 

Now,  John  stooped  slightly,  and,  speaking  in 
a  lower  tone,  inquired : 

"  Who   is   that   oily    chap  ?  " 

Miranda,    in    surprise,   replied : 

"  Who  ?     Mr.   P-e-1-t-e-e-r  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  John,  "  that 's  what  he  called 
himself.  Who  is  he,  anyhow  ? " 

"  Why,  sir,"  said  Miranda,  blushing,  "  he  "s  a 
nember  of  our  Board  !  " 


42  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MK.   PELTER. 

44  Does  he  drink  too  much  occasionally  ?  "  in 
quired  John. 

44  Oh,  Mr.  Smith !  How  can  you  think  so  ! 
No!" 

44  Well,  he  's   a   funny   acting   fellow  then." 

44  How  ?     What   do   you   mean  ?  " 

44  Why,  he  came  up  to  me  upon  the  street, 
as  though  he  was  my  brother  at  the  very  least, 
and  insisted  that  he  knew  me.  I  tried  to  cor 
rect  his  evident  mistake,  and  he  said  that  he  had 
visited  at  my  house  !  " 

44  Well ;    so   he    had." 

"He  had?     For   what?     To   see   my   wife?" 

44  To  see  yourself,  sir !  He  told  us  all  about 
it ;  and  what  you  said  to  him.  That 's  why  we 
sent  him  for  you." 

44  He  's  a  -  —  humbug  !  to  draw  it  mildly. 
I  never  saw  him  in  my  life  before  ;  and  he  was 
never  at  my  house !  " 

44  W-h-a-t?"  was  all,  in  her  astonishment,  the 
astounded  girl  could  say. 

44  It 's  all  his  oily  blarney  !  "  continued  John  ; 
44  he  never  saw  me  in  the  world  until  to-day." 

Miranda  had  never  stopped  to  think  that  she 
might  be  an  idol-worshiper,  and  that  Ezekiel 
had  been  her  Joss ;  but  now  she  felt  it,  and 
to  see  her  idol  overturned  by  this  strange  hand 
-for  the  lever  of  distrust  plays  havoc  with  our 
idols  —  and  to  feel  the  foundations  of  her  faith 


A    SAD  DISCOVERY.  43 

surely  slipping  from  beneath  her,  was  to  be  con 
founded  for  the  moment.  But  she  had  a  heart 
of  wondrous  elasticity,  and  with  an  instant  for 
reflection,  she  invested  the  destroying  hand  with 
supernatural  power,  and  trampling  on  her  pros 
trate  idol  she  set  up  a  new  divinity,  in  the  per 
son  of  the  man  before  her. 

John  made  a  better  looking  god  than  Mr.  Pel- 
ter ;  and  when  her  mind  was  turned  in  his  di 
rection,  Miranda  felt  much  better  satisfied  with 
him.  In  poetic  fancy,  she  could  circumnavigate 
the  globe  with  John,  and  nil  their  sails  with  aro 
matic  breezes;  but  Ezekiel  was  too  real,  and  he 
would  expose  his  grossness  sometimes,  in  spite 
of  all  her  ideal  drapery. 

When  a  woman  makes  a  change  in  idols,  she 
feels  no  sympathy  for  the  one  dethroned ;  and 
Miranda  was  a  woman. 

"  What  an  artful  hypocrite  he  has  been ! "  said 
she,  with  a  contemptuous  look  in  the  direction 
of  Ezekiel.  "  He  made  himself  of  great  import 
ance  !  and  told  us  how  he  had  impressed  you ! 
But  let  him  pass.  Now,  do  tell  us,  Mr.  Smith, 
something  of  your  travels ! "  Here  she  gave  him 
such  a  look  as  had  often  thrilled  Ezekiel  with 
rapture. 

"  I  have  no  time  for  any  lengthy  talk  to-day," 
said  John ;  "  but,  perhaps  some  other  time  I  will 
amuse  you." 


44  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

"Oh!  will  you,  Mr.  Smith?"  the  gushing 
maiden  interrupted. 

"  But  now,  in  truth,"  continued  John,  "  I  have 
not  the  time.  Let  us  see  what  the  ladies  wish." 

Durino-  this  brief  and  harmless  conversation  the 

O 

members  were  in  earnest  consultation. 

John  and  Miranda,  by  speaking  cautiously,  and 
in  a  tone  inaudible  to  them,  seemed  to  arouse 
suspicion,  and  Miranda's  rapturous  look  was  no 
ticed  by  them  all.  Perhaps,  if  left  alone,  the 
ladies  would  not  have  looked  unfavorably  on 
Miranda's  evident  success  in  efforts  to  entertain 
and  please  the  visitor;  but  they  were  not  left 
alone.  Ezekiel  was  there,  with  the  recollection 
of  his  street  encounter,  and  with  the  greater 
provocation  of  the  traveler's  trilling  with  his 
adored  "  My  -  rindy" 

"  He 's  a  wolf!"  Ezekiel  exclaimed,  in  great 
excitement;  "and  a  godless  libertine! — with  a 
A-w-n-dred  wives  —  and  c-0-»-cubines,  no  doubt! 
It  stands  to  reason,  ladies !  Why  did  you  send 
for  him?  To  talk  to  you,  as  idols?  No!  What 
then?  To  tell  My-rindy  that  he  worshiped  her? 
No!  What  THEN?  I'll  tell  you  what!  To  talk 
of  heathen  idols  —  of  idols  made  of  wood!  and 
stone!  and  such -like  idols!  What  DID  he  talk 
about?  Oh,  he  is  the  roaring  lion  mentioned  in 
the  Scriptures!  Beware  of  him!  Beware  of  him! 
ind  —  save  —  My  -  rindy  !  " 


A    SAD  DISCOVERY.  45 

Here  the  good  man's  feelings  overpowered  him, 
and  he  caught  the  contemptuous  glance  of  his 
My-rzW^/,  and  his  noble  heart  stood  still. 

It  was  a  trying  moment  for  the  members  of 
the  Board,  for  Ezekiel's  speech  and  look  aston 
ished  them. 

"  What  shall  we   do?"   asked  one. 

"  Tell  us  what  to  do !  "   another  said. 

"What  shall  we   say?"   inquired   a  third. 

"  Tell  us  what  to  say !  "   exclaimed  a  fourth. 

Ezekiel,  now  somewhat  recovered,  was  equal 
to  the  great  occasion. 

u  Let  us  confine  ourselves  to  business,"  he 
calmly  said  to  them.  "  We  propose  to  make  up 
supplies  for  the  field  in  Southern  Africa ;  let  us 
ask  him  what  in  his  opinion  would  be  most 
suitable  to  send." 

An  approving  look  was  on  all  the  faces  of  the 
Board,  and  here  John's  repeated  inquiry  was 
heard : 

"  How  can  I  serve  you,  ladies?" 

The  Austere  Member  made  the  inquiry  sug 
gested  by  Ezekiel. 

"  Send  them  blankets  !  "  John  replied  ;  "  good, 
warm  blankets !  " 

With  a  twinkle  in  his  eye,  he  added  to  Mi 
randa —  speaking  in  a  lower  tone  —  "As  well  send 
blankets  as  anything,  for  the  natives  will  not 
get  sight  of  them." 


46  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER, 

"Blankets  for  Africa!"  said  the  Austere  Mem 
ber,  in  supreme  astonishment. 

"  Warm  blankets !  "   another  said. 

"  Warm  blankets  for  South  Africa ! "  exclaimed 
the  others,  in  a  chorus. 

Ezekiel  was  too  indignant  for  expression,  but 
he  managed  to  articulate,  very  slowly,  and  with 
protruding  eyes  and  hands  upraised:  "  B-l-a-n- 
kets  — for  — South— 4/-rica!  " 

In  the  midst  of  this  sudden  consternation, 
John  turned  to  his  companion,  and,  with  a  nod 
and  smile,  he  said  "Good  day,"  and  disappeared. 

When  the  members  looked  to  see  what  ex 
planation  he  would  offer,  his  place  was  vacant, 
and  Miranda  stood  alone. 

Ezekiel  was  the  first  to  move  and  speak.  He 
made  a  headlong  rush ;  breaking  through  the 
circle  of  his  saintly  friends,  and  causing  them  to 
gaze  in  some  surprise,  on  his  impetuous  move 
ments.  Stretching  out  his  arms  as  he  approached 
the  maiden,  and  with  his  sonorous  voice  quaver 
ing  with  emotion,  he  fervently  exclaimed :  "  How 
often,  O  My-rindy!  would  I  have  gathered  you 
together— 

'*  You  need  n't  mind  about  it ! "  said  the  fickle 
spinster,  interrupting  him  ;  and  then  she  drew  away. 

Here  again,  a  sudden  chill  congealed  his  burn 
ing  eloquence ;  and  he  stopped,  and  dropped  his 
arms,  struck  by  a  cruel  and  unpitying  hand. 


A    SAD  DISCOVERY.  47 

"You  have  deceived  us!"  said  Miranda.  "You 
never  visited  the  house  of  Joseph  Smith !  He 
never  saw  you,  until  to-day ! " 

The  other  members  started  at  this  sudden  and 
specific  accusation,  and  could  not  understand  it. 
Mr.  Pelter  was,  for  a  moment,  staggered  by  the 
unexpected  blow  :  but  soon  his  bosom  began  to 
heave  with  indignation.  While  he  hesitated,  how 
ever,  his  ardent  passion  for  Miranda  restrained 
hot  words  of  wrath,  which  else  had  crushed  her, 
and  a  look  of  benignant  pity  glorified  his  face. 

He  spoke,  at  first,  but  a  single  word ;  but 
the  look  of  mingled  adoration  and  reproach  with 
which  he  pointed  it,  can  not  be  pictured  in  de 
scription.  That  single  word  was  the  one  he  loved 
the  best  of  all  — 

"  ,%-RINDY  !  " 

That  she  could  hear  that  word  unmoved,  when 
pronounced  in  such  a  tone,  and  with  such  a  look, 
was  sufficient  even  for  Ezekiel  to  see  that  the 
place  he  had  held  in  her  gushing  heart,  was 
closed  to  him  for  evermore. 

He  was  fired  by  this  to  defensive  measures ; 
for  he  saw  as  well,  that  he  must  acquit  him 
self  before  the  ladies  of  the  Board. 

"  Did  he  say  that  to  you,  My-rindy?  —  that  he 
did  not  know  me  ?  and  that  I  was  never  at  his 
house?"  asked  Mr.  Pelter. 

"  Yes,"    replied    Miranda. 


48  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Now  I  see  it  all ! "  said  he,  with  a  look  of 
horror  on  his  face.  "  O,  the  artful  plot !  O,  the 
seductive  wiles!  First,  he  tries  to  estrange  you 
from  your  friends,  by  his  slandering  tongue  ! 
Then — what  then?  O,  My-rindy  !  he  is  a  \illuin! 
I  do  know  him  !  and  I  saw  him  at  his  house ! 
and  we  talked  together, —  as  I  reported  to  you 
all!  Can  you  believe  this  stranger,  and  suspicion 
me?" 

4i  All —  this  —  seems  —  strange;  ve-ry  strange!" 
now  said  the  Austere  Member.  "  I  can  not  un 
derstand  it,  Mr.  Pclter!" 

The  loving,  lingering  accent  on  his  name  was 
gone  ;  and  he  noticed  it :  he  noticed  also,  in 
the  member's  look,  what  he  had  never  seen  be 
fore —  an  evident  distrust.  More  anxious  now 
than  ever,  he  renewed  his  protestations. 

"I  assure  you!  —  upon  my  honor!  —  that  I 
speak  the  truth,"  said  he. 

44  What  motive  could  he  have  for  denying  what 
you  say?  His  character  is  high  —  as  you  your 
self  confess  —  and  he  is  spoken  of,  by  every  one, 
with  great  respect." 

Here  Mr.  Pelter  drew  himself  up,  in  his  most 
admired  and  commanding  attitude. 

44  What  motive,  madam!"  continued  he.  "Were 
you  blind?  Could  you  not  see?"  Then,  turn 
ing  to  Miranda,  and  pointing  to  her :  "  There  is 
the  motive !  THERE  !  He  would  lead  that  pre- 


A    SAD   DISCOVERY.  49 

cious  soul  away,  and  send  it  to  perdition.  That 
is  the  motive,  madam  !  And  now  I  see  it  all ! " 
"  O,  you  wretch  !  You  deceitful  wretch  ! "  cried 
out  Miranda,  in  hysterical  excitement.  "  You  are 
the  one  who  tries  to  deceive  and  tempt  me  !  — 
You  !  —  you!  —  YOU  !"  Here,  hysteria  entirely 
possessed  her ;  and,  with  tears  and  sobs,  and  some 
spasmodic  jerks,  she  made  a  picture  quite  dis 


tressing. 


The  ladies  at  once  surrounded  her,  as  though 
to  protect  her  from  Ezekiel ;  but  he  —  poor  man 
—  was  so  stunned,  from  this  last  stroke  of  his 
My-rindy,  that  he  was  incapable  of  offering  harm 
to  any  one. 

Here  stood  the  Moral  Paragon !  the  living 
proof  of  charity!  deserted  and  —  ALONE!  With 
out  the  guilt  of  Adam,  he  was  threatened  with 
expulsion  from  the  moral  garden  of  the  Board ! 
But  he  would  not  go  unheard. 

"  I  will  prove  to  you,"  said  he,  "  that  what  I 
say  is  true." 

With  this,  he  took  his  broad-brimmed  hat  and 
with  a  heavy,  long-drawn  sigh,  and  a  lingering 
look  at  his  adored  My-rindy,  walked  sorrowfully 
away. 


CHAPTER    III. 

RACHEL    AND     EZEKIEL     IN    A    COMPROMISING 
SITUATION. 

As  MR.  PELTER  walked  sorrowfully  away,  he 
reflected  on  his  unjust  treatment.  A  feeling  of 
resentment,  unnatural  in  his  tender  heart,  at  once 
succeeded  to  his  apathetic  misery. 

He  entirely  forgot  the  scriptural  injunction,  to 
turn  his  other  cheek,  and  to  forgive  his  enemies; 
and,  if  he  had  thought  of  it,  it  would  have 
seemed  to  him  like  a  satire  on  humanity. 

He  had  many  times  advised  this  course  to 
others,  but  it  was  quite  another  thing  to  act 
on  it  in  his  own  affairs.  In  this  he  was  not 
unlike  the  majority  of  those  who  spend  their  lives 
in  fitting  jackets  for  their  fellows,  which  they 
themselves  refuse  to  wear. 

With  every  step  his  indignation  and  his  anger 
grew,  and  by  the  time  he  had  reached  his  house 
a  resolute  determination  had  been  formed. 

His  wife  observed  his  unusual  look,  and  she 
spoke  to  him  in  a  tone  of  curious  interest.  But 

50 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION.  51 

he  did  not  answer  her,  and  with  clouds  upon 
his  stately  brow,  he  made  his  way  at  once  to  a 
private  room,  where  he  was  accustomed  to  pre 
pare  the  reports  and  official  circulars  of  the  La 
dies'  Board. 

While  hot  with  his  resentment  he  commenced 
to  write.  Even  when  his  "  cross "  appeared,  and 
with  wondering  looks  inquired  :  "  What  are  you 
at  ? "  he  did  not  answer.  He  did  not  even 
look  up,  until,  in  her  sharp,  commanding  voice, 
she  called  out : 

"Peter/" 

Then,  for  the  first  time  in  his  life,  he  replied, 
with  spirit : 

u  You   bother  me  !    Go    'way  !  " 

No  wonder  that  his  wife  was  dazed ;  or  that 
she  yielded  in  amazement  to  this  assertion  of 
authority ;  or,  that  she  muttered  as  she  closed 
the  door  and  went  away  — 

"  I  could  respect  him  almost,  if  he  could  keep 
up  this  show  of  spirit,  and  not  be  truckling  to 
that  Board  of  Petticoats  !  " 

There  was  gall  and  wormwood  on  Ezekiel's 
pen,  and  thoughts  as  bitter  in  his  heart.  When 
he  had  finished  writing,  he  read  what  he  had 
written,  and  a  calm  cold  smile  of  satisfaction 
succeeded  to  the  blandness  on  his  face. 

Slowly  and  carefully  he  folded  up  what  he 
had  written.  Then  he  sealed  it.  Then  he  wrote 


52  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

the    superscription.      The    superscription    was    as 
follows  : 


With  this  he  hurried  out,  and  before  his  anger 
cooled,  he  put  it  in  the  nearest  letter-box. 

"  The  villain  is  unmasked  !  "  he  exclaimed  ; 
and  again  he  walked  away  —  not  sorrowful,  but 
exultant. 

On  the  following  day  the  letter  was  delivered. 
Rachel  was  at  home,  and  she  personally  received 
it.  She  looked  at  the  handwriting.  It  was 

O 

strange  to  her.  Then  she  noticed  that  it  was 
a  city  letter  ;  and  then  she  wondered  from  whom 
it  could  have  come. 

She  might  have  ascertained  the  fact  at  first, 
by  looking  at  the  letter  ;  and  now,  as  though 
that  thought  had  just  occurred  to  her,  she  opened 
it.  First  she  read  the  signature. 

"  Ezekiel  Pelter  —  who  is  he?"  said  she,  con 
tinuing  her  self-questioning.  "  Oh  yes,  I  remem 
ber  now  ;  he  is  that  pleasant  and  fine-spoken 
gentleman  who  called  on  Joseph,  as  a  member 
of  the  Missionary  Board.  I  Avonder  if  the  letter 
is  for  me  ;  perhaps  it  is  for  Joseph." 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  53 

Here   she   read   the   address. 

"  Dear  Madam — " 

"It  is  for  me.  But  why  should  Mr.  Pelter 
write  to  me  ?" 

After  all  this  questioning,  she  resolved  to  read 
the  letter.  She  soon  became  so  entirely  absorbed 
in  it  —  so  painfully  absorbed  in  it — that  she 
changed  in  every  look. 

The  letter  was  as  follows : 

"Dear  Madam,  and  Sister  in  the  Bonds  of  Faith: 

"  I  find  myself  in  a  position  most  painfully 
embarrassing.  I  have  prayed  most  earnestly  for 
divine  direction,  and  He  appears  to  make  my 
duty  plain  to  me." 

(This  opening  sentence  was  one  of  Mr.  Pelter's 
favorite  hyperboles — especially  when  about  to  un 
dertake  a  thing  of  questionable  propriety  —  and 
he  was  so  accustomed  to  its  use,  that  he  did  not 
stop  to  think,  that  in  fact,  he  had  not  prayed 
for  divine  direction ;  and  that  if  any  supernat 
ural  spirit  prompted  him,  it  was  doubtless  that 
of  Beelzebub.  He  found  it  most  convenient,  at 
all  such  times,  to  charge  his  meanness  to  the 
Lord,  and  then  take  personal  credit  for  his  vir 
tues.  St.  Peter  must  keep  a  watchful  eye  on 
the  celestial  gates,  or  Mr.  Pelter  will  outwit  him.) 
The  letter  continued : 

"  What  I  have  to  write  will  prove  distressing 
to  you ;  and  as  I  write  my  heart  is  bleeding 
8 


54  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

for  you."  (Another  hyperbole  of  Mr.  Pelter's.) 
"  Even  now  I  feel  inclined  to  stop,  but  duty 
urges  me.  A  precious  soul  demands  my  inter 
ference  !  Shall  I  be  silent,  and  see  that  precious 
soul  entrapped  by  artful  snares,  until  the  Evil 
One  shall  come  and  take  it  to  himself?  I  can 
not !  Shall  I  not  rather,  by  sounding  the  alarm, 
prevent  the  consummation  of  the  wicked  act  ? 
Do  you  inquire  how  all  this  concerns  yourself? 
It  is  my  painful  duty  to  inform  you. 

"  It  is  your  husband — Joseph  Smith — who  leads 
this  lamb  of  our  little  Hock  to  the  gates  of  hell ! 
Astonishing  as  this  may  seem  to  you,  incredul 
ous  as  you  may  be  at  first,  a  simple  statement 
of  the  facts  will  force  conviction  on  your  mind. 

"  Miranda  Trap  is  the  youngest,  fairest,  and 
most  spiritual  member  of  our  Board  ;  and  we  all 
watch  over  her  with  great  solicitude,  so  impul 
sive  is  her  nature.  She  is  very  precious  to  our 
hearts.  In  an  evil  hour  your  husband  met  her, 
and  he  at  once  began  to  practice  his  seductive  arts 

—  even  saying  to  her  that   he  'WORSHIPED'   her! 

—  that   is   the    very   word.     She,    an    artless    child 
in  all  her  thoughts,  was  pleased   by  his  attention, 
and   finally   she   became    so   thoroughly   infatuated 
that   she  abandoned   her   dearest   friend   for   him. 

"  We  must  save  this  precious  soul !  I  write  to 
you,  that  you  may  check  your  husband  in  his 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION.  OO 

licentious    course,    and  I    will   seek   for   help    and 
strength   in    continued  prayer. 

"  Faithfully  your   friend, 

"  In    Christian    sympathy, 

"  EZEKIEL   PELTER." 

Rachel  read  the  letter  with  the  most  astonish 
ing  composure,  and  by  the  time  she  had  finished 
it  her  face  was  as  hard  as  stone. 

Some  wives  would  have  been  broken  by  it 
utterly  :  most  wives  would  have  been  so  shocked 
by  it  as  to  display  profound  emotion.  But  Ra 
chel  was  only  weak  in  her  professions :  in  her 
nature  she  was  as  hard,  and  cruel,  and  pitiless  as 
Fate.  Even  the  wrinkles  in  her  face  seemed  to 
set  themselves  and  petrify,  when  she  had  finished 
reading,  until  they  looked  like  some  rough  chisel 
ing  on  a  granite  form.  Without  so  much  as  a 
trembling  of  her  hands,  she  folded  up  the  letter, 
and  put  it  in  the  bosom  of  her  dress.  After  a 
moment's  silence  she,  unconsciously,  began  to 
speak  : 

"  She  was  the  fairest  of  the  flock,  was  she  ? 
As  artless  as  a  child  in  all  her  thoughts !  The 
most  spiritual  among  them !  Quite  a  paragon  in 
deed.  I  am  not  fair  enough  for  Joseph,  I  sup 
pose  ;  nor  artless  enough !  nor  spiritual  enough ! 
He  '11  find  me  furious  enough,  if  he  is  n't  care 
ful!" 


56  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Such  thoughts  and  self-communings  did  not 
tend  to  make  Rachel  cheerful ;  as  the  day  passed 
on,  the  stony  face  did  not  relax ;  Avhen  Joseph 
entered,  at  his  usual  hour,  it  even  seemed  to 
harden  more.  But  the  flashes  from  her  eyes 
were  like  glints  from  polished  steel. 

"What  is  the  matter,  Rachel?"  asked  Joseph, 
in  surprise. 

"  Humph  ! "  she  answered,  with  a  contemptu 
ous  motion. 

"What  is  it,  Rachel?  Tell  me  what  it  is," 
insisted  Joseph. 

"  Have  you  been  setting  traps  to-day  ? "  she 
spitefully  retorted. 

"  Setting  traps  !  What  do  you  mean  ? "  said 
he,  with  growing  wonder. 

"  Trap  should  be  a  word  familiar  to  you,"  an 
swered  Rachel.  "  But  perhaps  you  use  the  more 
poetic  one,  M-i-r-a-n-d-a !  How  is  she?" 

"Rachel I1'  now  said  Joseph,  in  a  tone  of  sharp 
rebuke,  "  explain  yourself !  What  is  all  this  non- 

?*  * 

"  Explain  myself  !     That 's  good  !     Ha,  ha,  ha  ! 

How    well    you    play    your    part !      After    you  — 

after  you,  sir,   I  will   explain  ! " 

"  After  me  !     And  what  shall   I  explain  ?  " 
"  Explain  your   amours   with    Miranda    Trap !" 

cried  Rachel,  with  a  stormy  look.     "  And  if  you 

tell  me  honestly,  everything,  even  if  I  hate  you, 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION.  57 

I  will  not  despise  you,  as  I  shall  if  you  try  con 
cealment  !  " 

"For  Heaven's  sake!"  cried  Joseph,  "tell  me 
what  it  is  you  're  talking  of  !  " 

"Then,"  said  Rachel,  drawing  herself  up,  "you 
will  not  confess  !  You  prefer  contempt !  O,  you 
canting  hypocrite  !  " 

Now,  Joseph  had  been  accustomed  to  command 
in  storms  before,  though  not  in  such  storms  as 
this,  but  here  he  was  not  disposed  to  shrink, 
for  his  patience  was  exhausted. 

"Leave  the  room!"  said  he;  and  he  spoke  as 
he  had  spoken  on  the  sea,  when  the  storm  was 
rending  all  his  sails,  and  his  strong-ribbed  ship 
was  struggling  with  the  waves.  She  had  never 
heard  this  voice  before,  and  in  spite  of  all  her 
courage,  she  trembled  with  alarm.  She  left  the 
room.  Some  little  time  elapsed  before  she  re 
gained  composure.  When  she  was  restored,  she 
reflected  on  her  situation.  Of  Joseph's  guilt  she 
entertained  no  doubt,  and  his  anger  seemed  to 
her  a  "  confirmation  strong."  But  she  had  not 
the  courage  to  again  provoke  his  wrath.  She 
resolved  to  watch  with  the  vigilance  of  hate, 
and  to  consult  with  Mr.  Pelter  on  the  means  to 
be  adopted. 

Joseph  was  bewildered.  He  had  no  basis  even 
for  conjecture.  He  would  have  pressed  for  far 
ther  explanations  had  he  not  already  seen  that 


58  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

it  would  be  worse  than  useless.  His  wife  had 
called  him  a  "  canting  hypocrite,"  and  this  was 
an  offense  not  to  be  forgotten. 

The  evening  and  the  night  passed  by  without 
a  change  in  the  status  belli  After  breakfast  on 

O 

the  following  morning,  Joseph  took  his  hat  and 
walked  away,  without  a  word  to  Rachel.  No 
sooner  was  he  off,  than  Rachel  resolved  at  once 
to  summon  to  her  aid  the  valiant  Christian  soldier 
of  the  Board.  She  sat  down  and  wrote  to  Mr. 
Pelter.  She  urged  him  to  come,  as  soon  as  pos 
sible;  and  fixed  a  time  "  when,"  she  wrote,  "Jo 
seph  will  be  absent,  and  we  will  be  undisturbed." 
She  signed  the  letter  simply,  "Rachel." 

She  could  not  expect  him  sooner  than  the  fol 
lowing  day ;  and  with  Christian  fortitude  she 
engaged  herself  in  her  usual  household  duties. 

Now  it  so  happened  that  Joseph  had  not  been 
long  down  town,  before  he  encountered,  on  the 
street,  the  good  man  Mr.  Pelter.  Joseph  was 
glad  to  see  him,  and,  holding  out  his  hand  most 
cordially,  he  said  : 

"  Good  morning,  Mr.  Pelter.  How  are  the 
ladies  of  the  Board?" 

To  Mr.  Pelter  this  seemed  like  impertinence 
in  the  most  sublime  degree,  and  he  was  so  in 
dignant  that  he  could  scarcely  speak.  He  drew 
up,  and  with  a  flaming  face  and  a  voice  trem 
bling  with  passion,  said  : 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION,  59 

"I   scorn   you,   sir!" 

Joseph  dropped  his  extended  hand  at  this, 
and  stared  at  Mr.  Pelter.  Then  his  face  flamed, 
and  he  answered  sharply,  and  with  angry  eyes : 

44  What   do   you   mean,   sir?" 

Ezekiel,  not  to  be  intimidated  by  Joseph's 
frown,  retorted  hotly : 

"  You  know  what  I  mean !  And  I  give  you 
notice  that  I  will  save  Wy-rindy  from  your  licen 
tiousness  !  For  shame,  sir !  for  shame  !  And  you 
a  married  man ;  and  with  a  trusting  Christian 
wife  !  " 

Saying  this,  Ezekiel  passed  proudly  on,  leaving 
Joseph  in  fresh  mazes  of  bewilderment. 

"He  talks  about  this  same  Miranda!"  reflected 
Joseph.  "  It  seems  as  though  there  was  a  Trap, 
somewhere !  but  it  is  set  too  cunningly  for  me. 
I  never  heard  of  such  a  person  as  Miranda  Trap. 
Some  vicious  scamp  has  put  this  up  on  me.  I 
don't  suppose  there  is  such  a  person  as  Miranda 
Trap!  It's  hard  to  fight  such  shadows.  I  must 
make  Rachel  explain  it  to  me!" 

While  engaged  in  these  reflections,  Joseph,  too, 
was  passing  on ;  but  all  the  noises  and  bustle  of 
the  street  did  riot  drive  away  this  mysterious 
specter  —  Miranda  Trap. 

That  night,  the  atmosphere  at  home  had  a 
smell  of  brimstone,  and  Joseph  thought  it  pru 
dent  to  postpone  his  questions  to  his  wife  until 


t>0  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

it  cleared  somewhat.  The  following  morning  was 
not  clear,  and  Joseph  thought  that  he  would 
leave  the  matter  for  another  day ;  or,  at  least, 
till  lie  came  home  to  dinner. 

That  morning  was  an  exciting  and  eventful  one 
to  Mr.  Pelter.  Rachel's  letter  came.  He  read 
it  with  peculiar  satisfaction,  but  he  did  not 
speak,  for  his  wife  was  in  the  room. 

"Who's   the   letter   from?"    she    asked. 

"Oh  —  it's  a  business  matter,"  answered  Mr. 
Pelter. 

"  That 's  not  what  I  want  to  know.  Who  is 
it  from?" 

"  No  matter,  no  matter,"  answered  Mr.  Pelter, 
getting  nervous,  and  putting  the  letter  in  the 
inner  pocket  of  his  coat. 

"No  matter,  eh?"  replied  his  virtuous  spouse; 
and  then  she  rose,  with  resentment  in  her  face, 
ind  left  the  room. 

"Wife!"  called  out  Mr.  Pelter,  presently;  and 
she  came  back.  "  I  wish  you  would  sew  a  but 
ton  on  my  coat,"  said  he. 

His  coat  was  off,  and  he  was  engaged  in  dress 
ing,  with  unusual  care.  She  took  it  in  her  hand, 
and  asked:  "Is  the  button  all?" 

"  Yes,"    he    answered. 

She  went  out  again,  taking  Ezekiel's  coat.  No 
sooner  had  the  door  closed  after  her  than  she 
put  her  hand  in  the  inner  pocket  and  drew  out 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  61 

Rachel's  letter.  She  put  it  in  the  pocket  of  her 
dress,  with  a  look  of  satisfaction,  and  then  sat 
down  to  sew  the  button  on.  When  she  returned 
the  coat,  she  asked:  "Are  you  going  oiit?" 

"  Yes,"  he  answered ;  and  he  was  very  rest 
less  ;  for  it  would  be  a  sorry  day  for  him  if  his 
spirited  companion  should  discover  his  unlawful 
passion  for  Miranda  Trap. 

So,  being  restless,  and  dreading  further  ques 
tions,  he  finished  dressing  as  soon  as  possible, 
and  without  thinking  of  the  letter,  took  his 
broad-brim  hat  and  went  away. 

When  he  had  gone,  his  wife  took  Rachel's 
letter  from  her  pocket  and  sat  down  to  read  it. 
The  letter  was  as  follows : 

"  My    dear   Mr.    Pelter  : 

"  Ever  since  I  received  your  letter  I  have  been 
burning  with  a  desire  to  see  you " 

"  This  letter  then,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  "  is  not 
the  first !  '  burning  —  with  —  desire  ! ' '  But  she 
was  too  impatient  for  another  word,  and  con 
tinued  reading. 

"  My  husband  will  be  away  from  home  all  day 
to-morrow " 

"Ah!"  cried  the  jealous  wife;  but  still  she 
read. 

"  You   must    come    soon !     and    you   had   better 
come  when  Joseph  is  away,   and  we  will   be  un 
disturbed  — —  " 
3* 


62  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Oh,  the  shameless  thing ! "  exclaimed  the  furi 
ous  Mrs.  Pelter ;  but  still  she  read : 

"  O !  Joseph  was  so  angry.  You  must  tell  me 
what  to  do !  I  am  half  distracted,  and  can 
scarcely  wait  for  you !  Do  not  fail  to  come  — 
and  soon!  Your  precious  'lamb'  must  not  be 
forgotten."  That  was  all,  except  the  signature — 
"Rachel." 

"  His  lamb ! "  cried  Mrs.  Pelter,  in  a  rage. 
"  Oh,  if  I  only  had  her  here  !  This  is  the  sort 
of  missionary  work  my  husband  is  engaged  in ! 
I'll  serve  his  'lamb'  with  caper  sauce!  and  they'll 
be  curious  capers,  too,  if  I  get  hold  of  her !  O, 
wont  I  ?  —  wont  I?  —  WONT  I  ?  " 

Mr.  Pelter,  all  unconscious  of  the  furious  storm 
gathering  behind  him,  hurried  on  with  eager  steps 
to  the  house  of  Joseph  Smith.  Rachel  was  wait 
ing  for  him. 

44  Oh,  Mr.  Pelter,"  she  exclaimed,  as  soon  as 
they  were  alone  together.  "What  shall  I  do?" 

"  Compose  yourself,  dear  lady,"  said  Ezekiel, 
in  his  sweetest  tone  of  consolation.  "  All  of  us 
are  worms ;  but  we  have  a  Helper." 

"  I  know  it  Mr.  Pelter,"  Rachel  cried ;  "  but, 
somehow,  my  religion  seems  to  fit  other  people's 
cases  better  than  my  own.  This  is  AWFUL!" 

"  It  is,  indeed,"  replied  Ezekiel ;  4t  but  with 
proper  circumspection  we  may  defeat  his  wicked 
purposes." 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  63 

"  Oh,  I  hope  so,  Mr.  Pelter !  I  hope  so !  But 
to  think  that  Joseph  could  be  guilty  of  such  a 
thing !  I  have  lost  all  faith  in  men ! " 

"  Do  not  say  that !  do  not,  I  pray  you  ! "  And 
here  Ezekiel  gave  her  such  a  glance  as  Miranda 
never  could  resist. 

It  did  begin  to  look  as  though  Mr.  Pelter, 
compelled  to  abandon  the  moral  garden  of  the 
Board,  was  trying  now  to  cultivate  the  moral 
garden  of  Mr.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  Well,"  said  Rachel,  hesitating,  "  I  will  ex 
cept  yourself/' 

"  Thank  you,  madam  ;  thank  you  !  "  said  Eze 
kiel.  And  here  they  were  interrupted  by  a  ser 
vant  bringing  in  some  letters  which  the  postman 
had  just  left.  Rachel  took  the  letters  and  looked 
them  over ;  and  Ezekiel,  who  was  standing  by, 
let  his  eyes  fall  upon  them  as  she  looked  them 
over.  Soon  he  stopped  her  suddenly,  saying : 

"  They   are   in   correspondence  !  " 

"Who?"    asked    Rachel,    looking   up. 

"Your  husband  and  \ly-rindy!"  replied  Eze 
kiel,  in  profound  astonishment. 

"What  do  you  mean?"  cried  Rachel  in  dis 
tress. 

"There  is  a  letter  from  My-ruwfy/"  said  Eze 
kiel  ;  and  he  pointed  to  the  letters  in  Rachel's 
hand.  "  I  have  seen  her  write  a  thousand  times, 
and  know  her  writing." 


64  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Rachel,  with  feverish  anxiety,  ran  the  letters 
over,  and  soon  found  one  in  a  woman's  hand. 

"  Is  that  it  ? "  she  asked,  holding  up  the  letter. 

"It   is,"   said   Mr.    Pelter. 

"What  'shall   I   do?"    asked   Rachel. 

Ezekiel  had  read  the  story  of  the  monkey  and 
the  chestnuts,  and  he  answered  promptly :  "  Open 
it."  lie  was  anxious  to  see  this  correspondence. 

"  I  do  not  dare  to  open  it !  I  never  thought 
of  doing  such  a  thing!  Joseph  would  be  very 
angry !" 

"  It  is  your  duty,  madam.  Let  him  see  that 
he  is  detected  and  he  will  not  dare  to  take 
another  step !  Besides,  the  letter  will  probably 
disclose  how  far  they've  gone  already." 

"O,   what   shall   I   do?" 

uOpen   it!" 

"  I   am    sorely   tempted  !  " 

"Do  it!" 

With  trembling  hands  and  fluttering  heart  she 
did  it.  This  is  what  she  saw,  and  she  read  it 
to  Ezekiel : 

"Mr.    timitli,  my   dear   and   valued  friend :  — 

"  I  do  not  blame  you  for  it  —  oh  no !  I  can 
not  find  it  in  my  heart  to  blame  you  —  but  —  I 
am  —  unhappy." 

"Poor   child!"   said   Mr.    Pelter. 

"O,  Joseph!"  Rachel  wailed.  But  she  con 
tinued  reading :  — 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  65 

"  Your  words  and  looks  have  opened  up  such 
new  and  sweet  delights  as  to  fill  my  heart.  Oh 
for  the  wings  of  a  dove  !  that  I  might  fly  away 
from  all  my  trials  to  the  enchanting  scenes  where 
you  have  been ! " 

"  Oh  !    oh  !    oh  !  "    cried   Rachel. 

"O-o-o-o!"   groaned    Mr.    Pelter. 

"  But,"  continued  Rachel,  reading,  "  I  must 
tell  you  of  my  troubles.  Mr.  Pelter  —  the  odious 
man!—" 

"What?   what's   that?"    exclaimed   Ezekiel. 

"The   odious  man!"    repeated    Rachel,  reading. 

"  Oh,  she  's  lost !  she  's  lost  ! "  cried  Mr.  Pel 
ter. 

"And  where  is  Joseph?"  cried  the  sorrowing 
Rachel.  But  still  she  read:  — 

"  Mr.  Pelter  —  the  odious  man  !  —  has  already 
turned  suspicion  on  us.  I  know  that  you  did 
not  intend  to  place  me  in  a  position  of  such 
embarrassment,  —  but  you  have.  When  people 
question  me,  what  can  I  say?  I  never  will  con 
fess  the  truth,  but,  I  fear  in  spite  of  me,  my 
face  tells  something.  I  will  explain  what  you  are 
charged  with,  if  you  will  write  to  me,  and  tell 
me  when  and  where  I  can  have  a  meeting 
with  you.  Do  write  to  me  —  I  pray  you — soon! 

"  May  God  and  all  his  angels  bless  you,  is  the 
prayer  of  your  sorrowing 

"  MIRANDA." 


66  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  O,  Mr.  Pelter  !  "  burst  out  Rachel.  "  What 
shall  I  do  with  this  damning  proof  of  Joseph's 
guilt?  She  will  not  confess  the  truth,  she  says, 
but  her  face  tells  something !  What  does  it 
tell  ?  A  virtuous  woman's  face  tells  nothing  to 
her  injury!  O,  Mr.  Pelter!" 

Ezekiel  was  not  a  fickle  man,  and  without 
great  provocation  he  would  not  falter  in  his  alle 
giance  ;  especially  when  his  bread  and  butter 
hung  on  his  fidelity.  But  the  most  loyal  and 
magnanimous  of  men  may  be  driven  to  revolt. 

That  word  "odious"  in  Miranda's  letter  was 
too*  much  for  Mr.  Pelter ;  it  pierced  his  noble 
heart  and  made  him  desperate. 

"  Your  husband  met  My-rindy  first  in  the  pres 
ence  of  the  Ladies'  Board,"  said  he.  "  They 
encouraged  him,  and  I  protested ! " 

In  his  sudden  indignation  he  determined  to 
renounce  Miranda  and  all  the  Missionary  Board, 
and  to  espouse  the  cause  of  the  injured  Rachel. 
Impetuous  in  his  zeal  —  too  impetuous,  perhaps, 
and  yet  displaying  in  the  act  his  generous  and 
unselfish  nature  —  he  fell  upon  his  knees  before 
this  new  object  of  his  solicitude,  and  clasped 
his  hands  and  lifted  his  sympathizing  eyes  to 
hers. 

"  For  heaven's  sake  get  up ! "  cried  Rachel, 
shocked. 

He  did  not  get  up,  but  placed  his  hands  upon 


Impeiuous  in  his  zea!,  he  fell  upon  his  knees  before  this  new 
object  of  his  solicitude." 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION.  69 

his  spotless  waistcoat,  and  exclaimed  in  dramatic 
tones : 

"Lay  your   troubles  on   this  500-som,  Rachel!" 

He  did  not  know  that  a  witness  stood  behind 
him  in  the  open  door,  but  Rachel's  eyes  were 
full  of  fear,  for  she  saw  her  husband  standing 
there. 

Joseph  heard  Ezekiel's  last  dramatic  speech, 
and  he  stopped  to  hear  no  more.  Quickly  step 
ping  up  behind  him,  he  took  Ezekiel  by  the  ear 
and  dragged  him  howling  to  his  feet ;  still  hold 
ing  on,  he  gave  a  sudden  jerk  and  forced  Ezekiel 
toward  the  door,  then  by  a  dexterous  movement 
of  his  foot  he  sent  the  good  man  flying  through 
the  door.  All  this  was  done  without  a  spoken 
word  ;  then  Joseph  took  Ezekiel's  broad-brim  hat 
and  threw  it  after  him. 

Ezekiel  was  a  man  of  courage ;  but  it  was  a 
spiritual  courage  —  his  flesh  was  weak.  He  quick 
ly  grasped  his  broad-brim  hat,  and  with  a  fright 
ened  look  behind,  to  see  if  Joseph  followed,  he 
hastened  to  the  outer  door ;  then  he  rushed  out, 
and  made  such  progress  down  the  street  as  aston 
ished  all  beholders. 

Were  these  not  veracious  chronicles  this  scene 
might  be  omitted,  for  it  is  the  darkest  cloud 
upon  Ezekiel's  long  and  useless  life ;  charity, 
which  had  sheltered  him  so  long,  should  cover 
it  as  well. 


70  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

Joseph  turned  on  Rachel  with  such  a  look  of 
fury  as  made  her  cower.  She  began  to  utter 
protestations,  but  he  stopped  her. 

"  This,"  said  he,  "explains  itself;  don't  make 
it  worse  by  attempting  to  excuse  yourself!" 

Rachel  sank  into  a  chair,   completely  overcome. 

Joseph  began  pacing  back  and  forth  across  the 
room.  At  length  he  stopped  before  his  wife,  and 
asked : 

"  Where   did  you  pick  up   that   man  ? " 

"  O,   Joseph —  '  she  commenced. 

"  Stop  !  "  he  cried.  "  No  excuses,  if  you  please  ! 
How — came  —  he — here?  " 

"I  sent  for  him." 

"  You  sent  for  him !  Then  you  're  the  one 
that 's  setting  traps  !  " 

Rachel  here  plucked  courage  from  the  letter  in 
her  hand,  and  with  a  bolder  front  she  answered: 

"Not  setting  traps,  but  finding  what  is  caught 
in  them!" 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  " 

"  You  are  in  the  trap  ;  and  I  have  caught  you,  sir ! " 

"Don't  try  to  draw  me  off!  Explain  the  am 
orous  scene  I  witnessed  here ! " 

"  Sir ! "  replied  the  virtuous  Rachel,  rising  up. 
"  I  scorn  your  base  insinuation  !  " 

"  You  '  scorn '  it,  do  you  ?  Why  you  have  his 
very  form  of  speech !  He  said,  '  I  scorn  you, 
sir!'  But  I  am  waiting  for  your  explanation." 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  71 

44  You  said  the  matter  explained  itself !  First, 
you  explain  !  Explain  —  that  —  letter  !  " 

Here,  quivering  with  excitement,  she  held  out 
to  him  Miranda's  letter.  He  took  the  letter  from 
her  hand  and  looked  at  it. 

"  Who  opened   this  ?  "    he    asked. 

"  I   did  !  "    she    answered   boldly. 

"  And  do  you  employ  my  correspondence  for 
the  entertainment  of  your  lover?" 

This  cut  Rachel  like  a  lash,  and  nearly  wild 
she  cried : 

"  You  shall  not  insult  me  by  such  language ! " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  Joseph,  with  a  bow 
and  sneer.  "  Will  you  lay  your  troubles  on  my 
4  500-som,'  Rachel  ?  This,  I  find,  is  the  proper 
form  of  speech." 

Rachel  felt  the  lash  again,  but  again  she  ad 
vanced  to  the  attack. 

"  See  what  troubles  you  have  laid  in  the  bosom 
of  Miranda  Trap  !  Read  that  letter  !  " 

"  '  Still  harping  on  my  daughter,'  are  you  ? " 
With  this,  he  commenced  to  read  the  letter. 

"  What 's   this  ?  "    said    he,   looking   up   at   her. 

"  Oh,    how   in-no-cent !  "    said   she. 

He  looked  at  the  envelope  to  be  sure  of  the 
address,  and  then  at  the  signature. 

"  Miranda  Trap  again  !  "  said  he.  "  Why, 
woman,  I  never  saw  or  heard  of  such  a  person 
as  Miranda  Trap!  What  is  it  all?" 


72  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

44  Oh,  Joseph,  Joseph !  do  not  stain  your  soul 
by  falsehood  !  It 's  bad  enough  as  't  is  ;  do  n't 
make  it  worse,  as  you  said  to  me  just  now/' 

44  Falsehood!      I   speak    the    truth!" 

"  Do  you  forget  who  saw  you  when  you  met 
her  first?  Or,  are  you  calculating  on  my  ignor 
ance  ?  " 

"  Who   says   I   ever  met   her  ?  " 

"  Mr.   Pelter." 

44  Do  n't   dare    to   speak    his    name    again ! " 

"  Well,  then,  all  the  ladies  of  the  Missionary 
Board  saw  you  Joseph,  and  you  doubtless  thought 
me  ignorant  of  this." 

44  I  never  saw  the  ladies  of  the  Missionary 
Board  !  " 

44  Oh,   Joseph  !    how   can  you   tell   me   that  ? " 

44  Do  n't   you   believe    me  ?  " 

44 1   wish   I   could    believe   you." 

•4  Will  you  believe  what  they  say,  then  ?  If 
they  tell  you  so,  will  you  believe  it  ? " 

44  Yes." 

44  Very  well ;  I  '11  leave  you  no  excuse  for  your 
^•belief.  I  "11  see  if  I  can  find  these  ladies,  and 
agree  upon  a  time  to  meet.  Now  let  me  have 
your  explanation  of  the  scene  I  witnessed  here 
just  now." 

44  I  will  explain,  and  to  your  perfect  satisfac 
tion,  if  you  will  wait  until  we  see  the  ladies  of 
the  Board." 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION,  73 

"What   has   that   to    do   with   this?" 

"  It  has  everything  to  do  with  it !  It  will  fur 
nish  you  a  key,  without  which  you  cannot  under 
stand  me." 

"  All  this  is  beyond  my  comprehension.  This 
is  not  a  matter  to  be  trifled  with ;  and  I  tell  you, 
Rachel,  if  you  do  not  make  your  innocence  ap 
pear,  this  will  be  a  sorry  day  for  you." 

"  My  innocence  will  appear,  and  I  only  ask 
for  tli is  delay  that  it  may  be  clear  to  you." 

"  Well,  well,  I  '11  wait ;  you  shall  have  the 
advantage  of  the  key." 

"And,  Joseph,  don't  forget  that  you  must  make 
your  innocence  appear." 

"As  to  this  Miranda  Trap  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  That  is   a  very   easy  matter." 

"  I    hope  so." 

"  I  know  so !  You  did  riot  expect  me  in  this 
morning  ?" 

"No." 

"  Had  you,  I  should  have  missed  the  sight  of 
your  carpet-knight,  no  doubt." 

"  You  agreed  to  leave  that  subject  for  the 
present." 

"And  so  I  will.  I  came  back  to  get  some 
papers  that  I  need.  I  will  get  them  and  be 
off.  I  will  try  to  see  the  ladies  of  the  Board 
while  I  am  out." 


74  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

Here  Joseph  left  the  room  to  find  his  papers, 
and  very  soon  he  left  the  house. 

When  Mr.  Pelter  had  placed  a  sufficient  dis 
tance  between  himself  and  Joseph  Smith,  he  at 
tempted  to  resume  his  usual  stately  walk  and 
mien.  It  was  impossible.  His  great  heart  throb 
bed  with  grief  unspeakable.  No  more,  for  him, 
the  sweet  and  cheap  delights  of  charity !  No 
more  bouquets,  or  choice  perfumes,  from  that 
moral  garden  where  he  used  to  snuff  the  odorous 
air !  No  more  companionship  with  the  congenial 
spirits  of  the  Ladies'  Board !  His  glory  had  de 
parted,  and  even  his  "  My-rmdf?/"  had  called  him 
ODIOUS  ! " 

If  Alexander  wept  for  other  worlds  to  con 
quer —  and  it  was  a  very  silly  thing  to  do  — 
would  he  not  have  fairly  howled  if  he  had  lost 
by  one  sharp  stroke  of  fate  all  the  teeming 
worlds  over  which  Ezekiel  had  held  his  gentle 
sway?  That  broad  domain  extended,  as  Ezekiel 
used  to  sing, 

"  From   Greenland's   icy   mountains 
To    India's   coral    strand." 

But  Hope  would  not  desert  him  utterly,  and 
she  sent  a  glint  from  her  flickering  lamp.  Would 
not  Rachel  lay  her  troubles  on  his  "  foo-som," 
and  fill  the  aching  void  beneath  his  waistcoat? 
Living  on  this  slender,  single  hope,  he  proceeded 
sadly  to  his  house.  He  entered,  and  retired  to 


A    COMPROMISING  SITUATION.  75 

his  favorite  room.  He  should  have  kept  away 
from  there,  for  too  many  recollections  of  his  de 
parted  glory  were  suggested  by  the  strange  and 
miscellaneous  contents  of  that  little  room. 

Here  were  tracts,  and  circulars,  and  charity 
appeals  —  all  the  coinage  of  his  cunning  brain  — 
strewn  in  disorder  on  his  table.  Now,  they 
seemed  to  him  like  dead,  inodorous  flowers  on  a 
grave  of  buried  hopes. 

It  was  too  much :  and  in  an  agony  of  spirit 
which  convulsed  his  frame,  he  sat  down  and 
stretching  his  arms  upon  the  table,  bowed  his 
head  upon  them,  and  with  a  groan  surrendered 
to  despair. 

While  thus  contending  with  emotion,  he  heard 
a  voice  —  a  familiar  voice  —  and  one  most  pain 
fully  distinct. 

The   voice    cried,    "  Pelter !" 

What  a  harsh  and  jangling  discord  in  the 
bitter-sweets  of  Ezekiel's  memories !  He  slowly 
raised  his  head  and  looked  around.  There  stood 
his  wife  —  his  "  cross" — with  sleeves  rolled  up  and 
fury  blazing  in  her  eyes.  Her  sleeves  were  not 
rolled  up  with  reference  to  any  -  pugilistic  exer 
cise,  but  because  she  was  engaged  in  the  unro- 
mantic  labors  of  her  "washing." 

"Do  I  look  like  a  woman  to  be  trifled  with?" 
she  asked. 

"  No,   indeed ! "   Ezekiel  answered,  with  a  sud- 


76  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER, 

den  quake  of  fear.  Nor  did  she  look  like  a 
woman  to  be  trifled  with. 

Then  she  stepped  briskly  forward,  and  before 
Ezekiel  could  recover  from  astonishment,  she 
bundled  up  his  tracts,  and  circulars,  and  charity 
appeals,  and  all  his  precious  manuscripts,  and 
took  them  from  the  room.  She  was  not  long 
away.  When  she  returned,  Ezekiel  asked  what 
she  had  done  with  them. 

"  They  're    ashes  !  "    was    the    furious    answer. 

Ezekiel   groaned. 

"  Now,''  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  "  I  want  to  have  a 
talk  with  you !  Tell  me  first,  who  is  Rachel  ? " 

As  quick  as  thoughts  could  flash,  they  pointed 
Mr.  Pelter  to  the  letter  so  carefully  concealed. 
By  an  involuntary  motion,  his  hand  rested  on 
the  pocket  where  he  had  placed  it.  It  was  gone. 

"You  needn't  look  for  that!"  said  she;  "I 
have  the  letter.  Who  is  she  ?  I  ask.'' 

Ezekiel's  ideas  of  moral  duty,  as  he  had  ex 
pounded  them  to  Rachel  when  he  urged  her  to 
read  what  was  not  intended  for  her  eye,  were 
coming  home  to  roost ;  and  now  he  really  held 
quite  different  views.  But  he  did  not  state  them. 
He  thought  it  best  to  answer  Mrs.  Pelter. 

"  She  is  Mrs.  Smith,"  said  he,  now  quite  sub 
dued. 

"What   Mrs.   Smith?" 

'*  Mrs.    Joseph    Smith." 


A    COMPROMISING   SITUATION.  77 

p    .  s    she   a   member    of    your    Board    of    Holy 
:    *  icoats?" 
t  No." 

''What   did   she    want   of  you?" 
"  She    wanted   to   consult   with   me." 
"What   about?" 

"  Some    trouble   with    her   husband." 
"  I-ii-d-e-e-d !     And   did   }<ou   console   her?" 
"  She  had   been   much    abused,  and  I  felt  sorry 
for   her." 

"Good  man!     Did   you   console   her?" 
"  Well,    yes  ;   I   trust   I   gave   her   help." 
"  Now,  Peller  !    I  find  that  by  helping  heathen 
and    your    neighbors'    wives,    you    are     so     much 
occupied   that   your   own   house    sees   but  little  of 
you.      From    this    time    out,    I    shall    give    these 
ladies    notice    that    I   must    have    your    help.      I 
think,    upon   the   whole,   that   I    shall   advise   you 
to  have  less  to  do  with  other  peoples'  wives,  and 
more   with   your   own. 

"  Oh,"  cried  Mr.  Pelter,  anxiously,  "  the  ladies 
will  not  trouble  you  again." 

"  What  ?  Is  that  what  troubles  you  ?  Have 
they  sent  you  adrift  at  last  to  get  an  honest 
living  ?  Are  there  no  more  crumbs  for  the  saintly 
Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r?  Then  coine  with  me;  I'll  show 
you  how  you  can  be  useful ! " 

"What  do  you  want  with  me?"  asked  the  poor 
man  dazed. 


78  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

44  I  '11   show   you  ;    come   along." 

He  followed  her  until  they  reached  the  kitchen. 

44  Do  you  see  that  pile  of  clothes?"  she  asked, 
pointing  to  the  washing  in  a  tub. 

44  Of  course   I   see   it,"    said   Ezekiel. 

4;  Well,  take  off  your  coat  and  help  me  with 
them." 

44  Help  —  you  —  w-a-s-h  !  " 

44  Yes !  You  've  washed  more  dirty  linen  in 
your  Board  than  you  '11  find  here  !  Shall  I  help 
you  with  your  coat  ? " 

Saying  this,  she  took  hold  of  Ezekiel' s  coat, 
and  in  spite  of  all  his  protestations,  soon  had  it 
off. 

44  Now  let  me  tie  this  apron  on,"  she  said ; 
and  she  took  a  long  and  faded  apron,  and  tied 
it  on,  then  placed  him  by  the  tub,  and  showed 
him  how  to  turn  the  wringer,  while  she  sup 
plied  it. 


CHAPTER    IV. 

MK.    PELTER    IS    AGAIN    A    JOSS. 

JOSEPH  sent  over  to  the  rooms  of  the  Ladies' 
Board,  as  soon  as  he  had  ascertained  where  they 
could  be  found,  and  asked  if  they  could  fix  an 
early  day  to  receive  himself  and  wife.  The 
ladies  were  unusually  excited  when  the  messen 
ger  arrived,  but  they  consulted  for  a  moment 
and  fixed  upon  the  following  day.  The  messen 
ger  then  retired,  and  reported  their  conclusion. 

The  unusual  excitement  in  the  Board  when  the 
messenger  arrived  was  caused  by  the  report  of 
a  committee  just  returned  from  the  discharge  of 
an  important  duty.  The  report  cannot  be  fully 
comprehended  without  a  circumstantial  detail  of 
the  action  of  the  Board  in  relation  to  it. 

After  Mr.  Pelter  had  retired,  leaving  Miranda 
in  hysterics,  as  related  in  a  former  chapter,  the 
ladies  began  to  clear  the  moral  atmosphere.  It 
was  determined,  from  the  first,  that  Miranda  Trap 

was    the    unconscious    victim    of     some    infamous 
4  79 


80  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

design.  It  had  not  occurred  to  them  till  now 
that  Mr.  Pelter  might  be  the  guilty  man. 

Miranda  had  distinctly  charged  him  with  try 
ing  to  "deceive"  and  "tempt"  her.  What  did 
she  mean  by  this?  And  what  did  Mr.  Pelter 
mean  by  his  references  to  Joseph  Smith? 

Here  was  a  better  field  for  microscopic  search 
than  they  had  had  of  late,  and  they  determined 
to  improve  the  opportunity.  They  began  by 
questioning  Miranda — .she  still  indulging  in  a 
copious  overflow  of  tears. 

"  Now,  Miranda,"  said  the  Austere  Member, 
let  us  hear  your  explanation.  What  did  you 
mean  by  charging  Mr.  Pelter  with  trying  to  'de 
ceive  '  and  '  tempt '  you  ?  " 

With  interjected  sobs,  Miranda  answered,  "He 
—  has  —  deceived  —  us  —  all ! 

"How?"     "How?"     "How?" 

Inquired   the  different   members    of    the    Board. 

"  By  pretending  that  he  knew  Joseph  Smith, 
and  telling  us  about  a  pretended  interview  with 
him.  This  is  false !  He  never  saw  him  until 
to-day  !  And  if  he  would  falsify  in  this,  would 
he  not  in  other  things?" 

"  True  ;  "  "  True  ; "  "  True  ; "  replied  the  mem 
bers  of  the  Board. 

"But  how  do  you  know  that  this  was  false?" 
asked  the  Austere  Member. 

"  Why,   Mr.    Smith   said  it    was,"    replied    Mi- 


MR.   PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS,  81 

randa,  "  and  he  said  that  Mr.  Pelter  was  a  hypo 
crite  ! " 

This  was  a  serious  charge  indeed,  and  it  caused 
serious  looks  upon  the  faces  of  the  Board. 

"How  has  he  tried  to  'tempt'  you?"  con 
tinued  the  Austere  Member,  now  with  stern  judi 
cial  gravity. 

"  In  ev-ery  way !  "  sobbed  Miranda.  "  He  has 
tried  to  secure  my  af-/0£-tions  !  And  —  oh,  for 
give  me,  ladies,  for  I  had  no  thought  of  wrong 
_  he  —  did!" 

With  this  confession  she  broke  down,  and  all 
the  members  raised  their  hands  in  horror. 

To  say  that  the  Board  jvas  shocked  by  this 
disclosure,  is  to  convey  but  a  very  faint  impres 
sion  of  the  real  sensation. 

"  She   is   so   impulsive ! "    one   remarked. 

"Poor   child!"    another   said. 

"And  he  a  married  man!"    a  third  exclaimed. 

"  We  should  have  kept  a  better  watch  on 
him,"  was  the  judicial  comment  of  the  Austere 
Member.  And  abuse  rained  down  upon  the  im 
aginary  head  of  Mr.  Pelter,  sufficient,  had  it 
fallen  on  his  actual  head,  to  have  crushed  him 
utterly.  They  were  so  indignant  that,  for  the 
moment,  they  forgot  the  peculiar  conduct  of  Mr. 
Smith.  Miranda  was  a  victim.  This,  in  itself, 
was  a  great  point  gained  by  her.  It  did  not 
occur  to  one  of  them  to  inquire  how  far  Miran- 


82  THE.  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

da's  gushing  passion  was  in  fault,  and  whether, 
after  all,  Ezekiel  was  not  more  sinned  against 
than  sinning. 

Miranda,  under  this  strong  support  of  sympathy, 
very  soon  recovered ;  and  as  a  victim,  she  Avas 
actually  caressed  by  all  the  members  of  the  Board. 

"  And  this,"  said  one,  u  is  why  he  was  so  furi 
ous  at  Mr.  Smith  !  " 

"Oh  yes!  I  had  forgotten  Mr.  Smith,"  said 
the  Austere  Member.  "  Tell  us  what  he  said  to 
you,  Miranda." 

Miranda  told  them  what  he  said  ;  but  not  how 
she  had  received  it,  or  how  she  looked  at  him. 

"  In  this  there  was  nothing  in  the  least  im 
proper,"  was  the  verdict  of  the  Board :  "  but 
why  did  he  make  that  ridiculous  suggestion  as 
to  blankets  for  South  Africa  ?  And  why  did  he 
run  away  so  suddenly  ? " 

Miranda  laughed  —  a  genuine  laugh  —  at  this, 
and  then  explained  that  it  was  but  a  bit  of  plea 
santry  in  Mr.  Smith,  and  that  he  was  obliged 
to  go  away;  so  he  had  told  her. 

"  But,"  said  Miranda,  "  he  told  me  he  would 
come  again  some  other  day,  and  give  you  any 
information  he  was  able  to." 

So  Miranda  spurned  her  broken  idol,  and  ex 
cused  her  new  divinity ;  order  was  restored  and 
the  moral  atmosphere  wras  cleared.  Mr.  Smith 
Was  vindicated  and  Ezekiel  doomed. 


MR.   PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  83 

After  this,  by  formal  vote,  Mr.  Pelter  was  in 
definitely  suspended  from  the  Board,  and  a  com 
mittee  was  appointed  to  notify  the  fallen  man. 
The  committee  fixed  upon  the  day  of  Ezekiel's 
visit  to  the  distracted  Rachel  for  their  official 
visit.  They  had  often  been  at  Mr.  Pelter's  house 
before,  and  the  good  man  usually  appeared  from 
liis  little  room,  to  receive  and  welcome  them. 
Expecting  now  that  he  would  answer  it,  they 
rang  the  bell. 

The  tinkle  reached  the  kitchen,  and  suspended 
operations  there. 

"  The  bell!"  cried  Mr.  Pelter,  with  the  handle 
of  the  wringer  in  his  hand. 

O 

"I'll  answer  it,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  and  she 
started  for  the  door. 

"Tell   them  that   I   am  out!  —  left   the  city!- 
dead ! "    cried   Mr.  Pelter  after  her ;    but  she  was 
out   of  hearing. 

"Is  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r  in?"  inquired  the  com 
mittee. 

"He  is,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  very  stiffly.  "Would 
you  like  to  see  him?" 

"  If  you   please,"    the    committee   answered. 

"  Step    this   way,"   said   Ezekiel's    "  cross." 

She  led  them  to  the  kitchen,  opened  the 
kitchen  door,  and  stood  aside  for  them  to  enter. 
The}^  stopped  upon  the  threshold,  speechless  with 
amazement.  There  stocd  Ezekiel!  —  the  Moral 


84  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

Paragon  I  —  the  broken  monument  of  Charity  !  — 
standing  by  the  wash-tub  and  perspiring  in  the 
rising  steam. 

Red  as  he  was  from  the  unaccustomed  exer 
cise,  he  was  redder  still  from  shame,  when  he 
looked  down  and  saw  his  long  and  faded  apron. 
In  a  sudden  frenzy,  which  for  the  moment  was 
superior  to  any  fear  of  consequences,  he  tore  the 
apron  off  and  trampled  on  it.  Then,  with  greater 
dignity,  he  took  his  coat  and  put  it  on,  and 
with  his  lofty  and  commanding  bow  and  gesture 
to  the  members  of  the  Board,  walked  proudly 
from  the  kitchen. 

Mrs.  Pelter  saw  that  for  the  moment  her  au 
thority  was  gone,  and  without  a  word  she  saw 
Ezekiel  escort  the  ladies  to  his  little  room. 

Here  the  scene  was  too  affecting  for  descrip 
tion.  The  little  room  looked  cheerless  now,  for 
its  sun  was  veiled :  the  familiar  table  was  as 
empty  as  light  promises :  the  tracts,  and  circu 
lars,  arid  charity  appeals  were  nowhere  to  be 
seen ! 

"  Where  are  your  documents?"  inquired  one, 
with  a  sad  and  pitying  look  at  the  empty  table. 

There  was  a  look  of  injured  innocence  on  Eze- 
kiel's  face,  as  he  replied: 

"Where   are   all   my   'good   deeds   past?' 

'  Devour'd 
As  fast  as  made !     Forgot   as  soon   as  done ! ' " 


Ezekiel  was  standing  by  the  wash-tub  and  perspiring  in  the 
rising  steam." 


MR.  PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  87 

"  No,  no !  Do  not  say  that ! "  said  the  previ 
ous  speaker ;  and  the  ladies  began  to  melt.  Eze- 
kiel  noticed  this,  and  was  quick  to  take  advan 
tage  of  it.  Clasping  his  hands,  and  with  a 
peculiar  motion  of  his  lips,  familiar  to  provincial 
favorites  in  high  tragedy  —  a  sort  of  tragic  slob 
bering —  he  fairly  crushed  them  with  a  sense  of 
their  ingratitude. 

"  And  now,"  said  he,  in  closing  his  masterly 
appeal  to  their  emotions.  "  You  see  the  inglor 
ious  end  of  all  my  willing  services!  Wringing 
clothes  at  a  dirty  wash-tub !  " 

With  this,  his  feelings  seemed  to  overpower 
him,  for  he  sank  down  into  a  chair,  and  bowed 
his  head  upon  the  table.  It  was  a  scene  to  make 
the  very  gods  look  down  in  pity.  Afterward,  in 
describing  it,  the  committee  said  that  they  were 
so  overwhelmed  that  they  could  think  of  noth 
ing  but  Ezekiel's  misery. 

With  tearful  eyes,  a  melted  member  asked  : 
u  Why  did  you  tell  us,  Mr.  Pelter,  that  you 
knew  Joseph  Smith,  and  had  seen  him  at  his 
house  ?  " 

"  Because  I  did  and  had ! "  said  Mr.  Pelter, 
raising  his  head.  "  He  denies  it  that  he  may 
discredit  me  !  And  why !  Because  I  know  his 
wicked  purposes,  and  am  determined  to  defeat 
them !  " 

"  What  purposes  ?  "    the   committee   asked. 


88  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

44  His  designs  upon  My-mwZy/"  said  Ezekiel, 
rising  up  in  great  excitement. 

44  But  that  has  been  explained ;  there  was  really 
nothing  in  it.'' 

"  Who  says   so?" 

44  Miranda." 

44  From  bad  to  worse  !  From  bad  —  to  — 
worse ! " 

"  What   do   you   mean  ?  " 

44  Why  she  has  begun  to  practice  what  she 
learned  from  him  !  " 

"  What  ?  " 

44  Deception  ! " 

41  How?" 

44  She  is  in  correspondence  with  him  —  now ! 
and  in  language  of  a  peculiar  character.  Am 
orous,  some  would  call  it.  She  asks  him  to  fix 
a  time  and  place  for  a  private  meeting,  and 
tells  him  that  I  have  turned  suspicion  on  them. 
And  that  though  she  '11  not  confess,  she  fears  her 
face  tells  something.  And,  for  all  my  efforts 
in  her  behalf,  she  calls  me  O-D-I-O-U-S  !  " 

44  Why,  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r,  this  is  impossible  !  it 
is  too  shocking !  Who  told  you  this  ? " 

u  I   saw   her   letter  !  " 

44  Where  ?  " 

44  In   the   hands   of    Rachel    Smith!" 

44 The   wife   of    Joseph   Smith?" 

44  His   most   unhanny   wife  !  " 


MR.  PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  89 

"  And  you  say  that  you  did  know  him,  and 
did  call  on  him  as  you  represented?  " 

"  Most   assuredly   I   did  !  " 

This  information  and  these  serious  charges  were 
too  startling  to  be  acted  on  without  a  consult 
ation.  While  they  consulted,  Mr.  Pelter  stood 
with  folded  arms ;  and  now  he  first  noticed  his 
jealous  wife,  standing  just  within  the  door. 

"A  pretty  lot,  the  whole  of  you!"  said  she, 
as  she  caught  Ezekiel's  eye.  "  I  told  you  that 
your  Board  had  more  dirty  linen  to  be  washed 
than  my  kitchen  held !  Now  tell  these  moral 
scavengers  about  your  precious  letter  —  and  amor 
ous  too  —  from  this  dear,  unhappy  Rachel  Smith!" 

With  this  she  seemed  to  scent  infection  in  the  air, 
for  she  turned  up  her  nose  and  quitted  the  room. 

The  committee  turned  to  Mr.  Pelter,  and  one 
of  them  inquired  :  "  What  is  that  ?  —  the  letter 
she  speaks  of  ?  —  from  Mrs.  Smith  ?  " 

Mr.  Pelter  was  embarrassed.  After  a  moment's 
hesitation,  he  replied : 

"  My   wife  —  you    know  —  is  —  pe-culiar." 

The  tone  and  look  with  which  he  spoke  were 
more  significant  than  the  spoken  words.  They 
smiled  and  nodded,  as  if  to  say,  "  We  under 
stand;  she  makes  these  foolish  statements  simply 
to  annoy  you." 

Then   Mr.    Pelter    smiled,   for    he    felt    assured 
that   he   was   re-established   in  their  confidence. 
4* 


90  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.    PELTER. 

"  Now,  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r,"  said  a  member  of 
the  committee,  "  we  have  concluded  to  give  you 
jui  opportunity  to  confound  your  enemies  and  put 
them  to  confusion.  We  will  arrange  some  way 
for  Mr.  Smith  to  meet  the  Board  again ;  you 
will  be  there,  and  in  presence  of  us  all  you  can 
confront,  and,  if  possible,  expose  him." 

At  first  Ezekiel  was  very  far  from  pleased 
with  this  arrangement,  for  the  weakness  of  his 
flesh  was  a  very  heavy  drag  upon  his  valiant 
spirit.  Then  he  considered  that  he  would  be  safe 
from  injury  in  the  presence  of  the  Board ;  and 
with  this  reflection,  he  replied  that  nothing  could 
please  him  more. 

So  they  parted :  Ezekiel  with  reviving  hope, 
and  the  committee  with  the  sad  reflection  that 
Miranda  was  the  guilty  one.  * 

It  was  the  return  and  report  of  this  commit 
tee  that  caused  the  unusual  excitement  when  the 
messenger  from  Joseph  Smith  appeared  before  the 
Board.  They  reported  privately ;  that  is,  they 
informed  the  members  individually  of  what  they 
had  discovered  ;  and  every  member  was  informed 
except  Miranda.  The  conclusion  was,  that  on  the 
following  day,  when  Mr.  Smith  was  present,  and 
Ezekiel  and  Miranda  in  attendance,  they  would 
investigate,  and  fix  the  guilt  where  it  properly 
belonged. 

It  seemed   as  though   Ezekiel   now   would   step 


MR.  PELTER   IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  91 

into    Miranda's  niche,  and   she  be  tumbled  out  of 
it.     So    uncertain   is   the   foothold   of   our   idols. 

On  the  following  day,  when  the  Board  con 
vened,  there  was  a  look  of  some  anxiety  on  all 
their  faces ;  but  oil  the  faces  of  Ezekiel  and 
Miranda  it  was  most  marked.  Ezekiel  could  not 
feel  exactly  comfortable  when  he  thought  of 
meeting  Joseph  Smith,  and  his  ear  would  burn 
in  spite  of  him :  while  Miranda  could  only  bear 
the  chilly  atmosphere  which  surrounded  her  by 
drawing  on  the  fires  of  her  passion  for  the  ex 
pected  visitor. 

Joseph  Smith  at  length  arrived,  accompanied 
by  Rachel.  The  members  all  rose  up  and  bowed ; 
then  Joseph  bowed.  Mr.  Pelter  was  the  only 
one  he  had  ever  seen  before  ;  and  Mr.  Pelter  he 
did  not  deign  to  notice.  Ezekiel  flushed  at  this, 
and  the  ladies  seemed  surprised.  Miranda's  heart 
was  in  such  a  flutter  that  she  could  not  restrain 
her  mounting  blushes ;  and  when  Joseph  looked 
in  her  direction,  she  gave  him  such  a  smile  as 
made  him  pause  and  look  at  her  attentively. 
But  his  look  was  cold  and  curious  —  nothing  like 
the  smiling  look  of  John.  Her  gushing  heart 
grew  heavy  as  she  noticed  this,  and  the  meteors 
all  disappeared  from  her  flaming  face,  and  left  it 
pale  and  anxious. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  for  this  intrusion,  ladies," 
Joseph  commenced;  "but  I  am  anxious  to  clear 


92  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

up,  if  possible,  some  strange  mistakes  and  mis 
understandings." 

Curiosity  was  now  alert,  and  every  ear  erect. 
44  Is  there  such  a  person  present/'  he  continued, 
44  as  Miranda  Trap  ?  " 

Now  the  meteors  tilted  in  Miranda's  face  again, 
and  then  they  died  away  and  left  it  paler  than 
before. 

44  You  know  her,"  replied  the  Austere  Member, 
in  astonishment,  4;and  must  know  that  she  is 
present." 

Here  Rachel's  look  was  keen,  and  she  threw 
a  sharp,  quick  glance  at  Mr.  Pelter. 

44  Pardon  me,"  said  Joseph,  with  a  bow,  "but 
I  never  saw  her  in  my  life.  Will  you  introduce 
me,  or  point  her  out  to  me  ? " 

4w  This  is  ridiculous ! "  said  an  indignant  mem 
ber  ;  and  she  was  interrupted  by  Miranda,  who 
cried  out  in  real  distress : 

44  O,  Mr.  Smith !  this  is  too  much !  too  cruel 
in  you!  And  that,  too,  after  all  you  said  to 
me  !  O-o-o-o  !  " 

Every  one  but  Joseph  felt  quite  touched  by 
this  wail  of  agony,  and  even  Rachel  looked  on 
her  with  pit}',  and  on  him  with  evident  con 
tempt. 

44  You,  then,  are  Miranda  Trap ! "  said  Joseph, 
turning  to  her. 

44  You   kno\v   I   am!    you   wicked   and   deceitful 


MR.   PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS,  93 

man ! "  cried  the  outraged  maiden,  in  a  furious 
tempest  of  passion. 

"  I  am  very  glad  to  find  you,"  said  Joseph, 
calmly,  but  evidently  confused,  "for  I  have  been 
fighting  shadows  long  enough.  Now,  let  me  ask 
you  why  you  wrote  this  letter  to  me  ? " 

Here  he  held  out  the  letter  read  by  Rachel 
and  Ezekiel.  Ezekiel  groaned. 

"O —  you  —  wretch!"  now  fairly  shrieked  the 
furious  maiden.  "  You  shall  not  expose  the  feel 
ings  of  my  heart  in  this  cruel,  cruel  way!" 

With  a  panther's  bound  she  sprung  to  him, 
and  caught  the  letter  from  his  hand.  The  Aus 
tere  Member's  face  was  hard  and  rigid  now,  and 
Rachel's  had  the  chiseled  look  of  the  day  before. 

Joseph  was  more  bewildered  every  instant,  and 
in  actual  desperation  he  commenced  again. 

"  Now,  ladies,  answer  me  this  question,  will 
you  ?  I  ask  it  to  satisfy  my  wife.  She  insists 
that  I  have  been  here  before,  and,  that  I  here 
met  Miranda  Trap.  I  want  you,  at  least,  to 
clear  me  in  this  respect.  Did  you  ever  see  me 
here  before?" 

"  Yes  ! "  "  Yes  !  "  "  Yes  !  "  came  in  various 
keys  of  indignation  from  nearly  every  member  of 
the  Board. 

Joseph   was   dumbfounded. 

"Mr.  Smith!"  began  the  Austere  Member,  with 
her  severest  look,  "  if  you  have  compromised 


94  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

yourself  with  this  foolish  and  impulsive  girl,  and 
now  attempt  to  satisfy  your  wife  by  this  bold 
repudiation,  do  not  come  to  us  to  aid  you  in 
your  base  deception !  You  should  have  known 
us  better  than  to  think  that  we  could  be  em 
ployed  as  instruments  in  such  a  sinful  thing. 
You  know  that  you  were  here,  and  that  you  met 
Miranda  here.  We  know  it  to  our  sorrow !  For 
tunately  for  her  your  designs  have  been  un 
masked.  Except  for  Mr.  Pelter  here — and  he 
has  suffered  for  his  noble  conduct"  (here  she 
waved  her  hand  toward  Mr.  Pelter)  —  "  you 
might  yet  be  leading  this  thoughtless  and  im 
prudent  girl  to  ruin  !  " 

This  public  recognition  of  his  services  caused 
Ezekiel's  heart  to  fairly  dance  within  him ;  and 
he  rose  up,  and  with  his  hand  upon  his  waist 
coat,  bowed  profoundly. 

"  I  have  seen  an  exhibition  of  Mr.  Pelter's 
4  noble  conduct,' '  said  Joseph,  with  a  sneer, 
"  and  he  no  doubt  preserves  a  lively  recollection 
of  it.  I  warn  him  now,  and  here,  to  be  very 
careful,  or  he  will  not  get  off  so  well  again." 

Ezekiel's  fleshly  weakness  here  caused  him  to 
tremble,  but  when  he  heard  a  member  say : 

"  Hear  him  threaten !  Mr.  Pelter  has  too  many 
friends!"  his  reviving  spirits  nerved  his  legs,  and 
he  stood  firm. 

"  Then  you  have  seen  Mr.   Pelter !  "    cried  the 


MR.    PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  95 

Austere  Member.     "  When   you  were  here  before 
you   said   you  had   never   seen   him." 

"  I  never  said  so !  I  never  even  spoke  of 
him !  "  said  Joseph,  hotly ;  "  and,  as  I  have  al 
ready  told  you,  I  Avas  never  here  before  !  " 

Then  lie  turned  to  Rachel,  in  his  sore  per 
plexity,  and  asked: 

"Is  this  a  mad-house?     Or,  am  /  demented?" 

He  only  met  a  cold,  hard  smile  on  Rachel's 
face,  and  she  replied : 

"  This  was  to  be  your  test !  Are  you  satis 
fied  ?" 

"  No  !  "    he    thundered. 

"  I  AM  !  "  said  she.  "  You  are  a  guilty  man ! 
What  Mr.  Pelter  said  of  you  has  been  here 
confirmed  !  He  proved  a  truer  friend  to  me  than 
you  !  " 

Here  Mr.  Pelter  began  to  swell  again,  with 
self-approval,  for  even  his  questionable  acts  began 
to  look  like  virtues.  Had  Rachel  really  lain 
upon  his  "  &00-som,"  perhaps,  in  some  mysterious 
way,  that  would  have  proved  the  crowning  vir 
tue  of  them  all.  Such  thoughts  were  very  com 
forting. 

Now,  this  cold,  hard  woman,  who  turned  upon 
her  husband  with  a  front  of  stone,  crossed  over 
to  Miranda  with  a  look  of  gentle  pity  in  her 
eyes.  She  put  her  hand  on  Miranda's  head,  in  a 
way,  and  said  to  her : 


96  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTER. 

"  Poor  child !  I  am  very  sorry  for  you.  You 
have  been  cheated  in  a  dream  —  and  it  was  not 
a  virtuous  dream,  I  fear  —  who  can  tell? — God 
knows  —  but  in  a  little  time  you  will  recover, 
and  even  be  the  better  for  the  lesson.  I  have 
been  cheated  of  my  very  life,  and  cannot  recov 
er  I  01. — ever — be — the  better — for  it !  God  help 
us  all  —  and  pity  —  ME  !  " 

This  was  all  so  sudden,  so  unexpected,  and  so 
majestic  in  its  simplicity,  that  every  one  was 
filled  with  a  reverential  awe.  Then  Rachel  turned 
and  said :  "  Good  ladies,  I  thank  you  for  your 
frankness,  and  for  your  refusal  to  assist  a  guilty 
man  in  his  deceptions." 

Without  another  word  to  any  one,  and  without 
looking  at  her  husband,  she  walked  away.  Jo 
seph  rushed  wildly  after  her. 

For  a  moment  after  they  had  gone,  no  one 
spoke  a  word.  Had  an  angel  suddenly  appeared 
among  them,  and  rebuked  them  for  their  ever 
lasting  search  for  something  to  condemn,  they 
could  not  have  been  more  thoroughly  astonished 
than  when  they  saw  this  stern-faced  woman  en 
courage  virtue  by  lessons  from  our  frailties,  and 
then  pity  and  forgive,  where  she  had  cause  for 
hatred. 

There  were  chords  in  Rachel's  heart  —  as  there 
are  in  every  one's,  however  rough  the  instrument 
may  look  —  which,  when  touched  by  skillful  fin- 


MR.   PELTER  IS  AGAIN  A    JOSS.  97 

gers,  will  discourse  the  sweetest  harmonies.  They 
were  the  chords  of  love  and  charity,  with  which 
the  Soul  of  Harmony  strings  all  our  hearts,  and 
when  we  find  them  jangling  out  of  tune  it  is 
because  our  hands  have  tried  to  change  their 
perfect  key. 

It  was  Avell  for  the  now  crushed  and  penitent 
Miranda  that  such  chords  were  struck,  for  their 
vibrations  reached,  and  set  in  corresponding  mo 
tion,  like  chords  among  her  fellows.  Ezekiel  was 
among  the  first  to  feel  the  pulse  ;  and  his  heart 
flew  open  with  a  sudden  gush  of  Pelterean  chari 
ty.  Now  blandness  settled  on  his  face,  with  a 
brighter  shimmer,  and  Ezekiel  was  "  himself 
again." 

Miranda,  taking  courage  from  his  look,  felt  her 
heart  thrill,  and  in  a  penitential  voice  she  cried : 
"  O,  forgive  me,  Mr.  P-e -1-t-e-e-r !  " 

What  could  Mr.  Pelter  do  but  step  up  to  her, 
and  with  his  hands  above  her  head,  in  an  atti 
tude  of  benediction,  say :  "  Behold,  how  good  and 
how  pleasant  it  is  for  brethren  to  dwell  together 
in  unity ! " 

From  this  nettle  of  distrust  the  Board  thus 
plucked  the  flower  of  harmony,  and  in  Miranda's 
impulsive  heart,  Ezekiel  was  again  a  Joss,  all 
spangled  with  her  tears  of  penitence. 


CHAPTER  V. 

VIRTUOUS   ZEAL  LEADS   MR.   PELTER    INTO   DANGER. 

WHEN  John  returned  from  his  visit  to  the 
Board,  he  related  to  his  wife  his  curious  expe 
rience.  His  striking  pictures  of  Mr.  Pelter  and 
Miranda  were  particularly  admired ;  and  they 
served  with  Julia,  for  many  a  day,  as  targets  for 
her  fun.  Not  long  after  this,  and  soon  after  the 
exciting  incidents  just  related,  Ezekiel  and  Mi 
randa  were  on  the  street  together,  on  some  good 
work  of  charity. 

John  and  Julia  were  also  on  the  street  that 
day,  and  it  so  happened  that  they  met  each 
other.  Julia  recognized  the  missionary  twain  from 
John's  description ;  and  with  laughing  eyes  she 
called  John's  attention  to  them. 

They  were  looking  in  their  direction,  and  there 
seemed  to  be  a  look  of  horror  on  their  faces. 
John  stopped,  and  bowed,  and  smiled,  but  the 
twain  did  not  seem  inclined  to  stop.  Miranda, 
blushing  first,  then  growing  pale,  turned  her  face 
away ;  and  Ezekiel  stared,  but  he  stared  at  Julia, 
and  did  not  deign  to  notice  John. 


L- 


He  "s  got  another  I Voo  -  man." 


MR.  PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER. 


As  they  passed,  John  heard  Ezekiel  say: 
"  He  's  got  another  woo-man  !  " 

Julia  heard  him,  too,  and  she  quickly  asked: 
"  What  's  that  John  ?  He  says  you  've  got  an 
other  woman." 

John  only  laughed,  and  said,  "  They  seem  to 
be  offended." 

"  Why,"  continued  Julia,  "  the  fair  Miranda 
would  not  even  look  at  you." 

"  And  Mr.  Pelter  did  look  at  you,"  said  John. 

"  What  made  her  color  so,  and  seem  so  much 
confused  and  fluttered?" 

"  I   do  n't   know." 

"  It  's  very  queer  !  "  persisted  Julia  ;  then,  look 
ing  squarely  in  her  husband's  face,  she  added  : 
"  John,  you  hav'  n't  been  talking  nonsense  to  that 
girl,  have  you?" 

"  Why,  no  !  "  said  John.  "  What  are  you  think 
ing  of?"  So  the  subject  dropped:  by  John  to 
be  forgotten  ;  by  Julia  to  be  stored  away  in  her 
place  for  curiosities. 

When  Ezekiel  and  Miranda  returned  to  the 
ladies'  rooms,  they  had  a  new  sensation  for  the 
Board.  It  was  opportune;  for  their  "fields" 
were  very  sterile  now,  and  they  longed  for  oc 
cupation. 

"  Another  one  !  "  exclaimed  an  excited  member, 
after  Mr.  Pelter  had  finished  his  account  of  the 
street  encounter,  with  apt  embellishments  of  speech. 


1()2  '  'r//£  MiSHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 


"What   next?"    exclaimed   another. 

"How   did   she   look?"    inquired   a    third. 

This  was  the  question  of  substantial  interest 
to  all,  and  they  waited  for  Ezekiel's  answer. 

"Well  —  she  was  fine-looking!"  said  Ezekiel  : 
and  he  spoke  with  kindling  eyes  and  watering 
mouth,  —  like  children,  sometimes,  when  they  talk 
of  luscious  peaches.  "I  may  say  spleii-diAl"  he 
continued,  after,  in  imagination,  another  taste. 

"  Perhaps  it  was  an  acquaintance  merely,"  sug 
gested  one,  in  a  regretful  tone  ;  as  though  they 
might  be  cheated  after  all,  and  lose  some  pun 
gent  scandal. 

"  Oh,  no!'  replied  Ezekiel.  "They  were  by 
far  too  sweet  for  that.  Eh,  My-rindy?  Did  you 
notice  how  they  seemed  to  lean  and  hang  on 
one  another?" 

"I  didn't  look  at  them!"  replied  Miranda, 
with  a  lofty  look  of  scorn. 

"What  is  our  duty  in  the  matter?"  asked  the 
Austere  Member  ;  and  she  spoke  as  though  she 
thought  they  really  had  a  duty  in  the  matter. 

"  /  think,"  said  one,  "  that  we  should  keep 
an  eye  on  them." 

"And  so  do  I,"  another  said:  and  that  opinion 
seemed  to  have  the  support  of  all. 

"  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r,"  suggested  another,  "  why 
can't  you  keep  watch  ?  " 

"  I  never  shrink  from  duty,  ma'am  !  "  was  Eze- 


MR.    PELTER   LED  INTO  DANGER.  103 

kid's  noble  answer ;  and  lie  secretly  rejoiced  that 
he  could  gratify  himself  under  a  commission  so 
high-sounding  as  that  of  duty.  Before  the  Board 
adjourned,  Ezekiel  was  commissioned. 

For  many  days,  in  spite  of  all  his  diligence, 
Mr.  Pelter's  watch  was  unsuccessful.  But  per 
severance,  in  the  end,  unless  exhausted  in  at 
tempts  at  the  impossible  —  a  limitation  which 
makes  a  fallacious  adage  nearer  true  —  will  suc 
ceed.  He  at  last  espied  the  "  other  woo-man." 
She  was  engaged  in  shopping  on  a  business 
street,  and  after  Mr.  Pelter  had  caught  sight  of 
her,  he  gave  no  opportunity  for  escape. 

Julia,  in  her  pre-occupation,  and  in  the  hurry 
ing  throng  upon  the  street,  did  not  notice  him. 
Had  she  been  even  more  observing,  she  would 
not  have  seen  him,  for  he  dodged  and  concealed 
himself  in  a  way  that  would  have  honored  a 
professional  detective. 

Usually,  Julia  had  her  carriage  with  her,  but 
now  it  was  laid  up  with  some  rheumatic  diffi 
culty,  and  she  patronized  the  more  democratic 
carriages  of  the  streets.  Ezekiel  followed  her 
from  place  to  place,  until  he  felt  nearly  ready 
to  give  up  the  chase,  when  he  saw  her  call  a 
stage.  He  hurried  forward  and  stepped  in  be 
hind  her.  Now  Julia  noticed  him,  and  a  smile 
began  to  play  upon  her  face.  Ezekiel  regarded 
her  as  another  victim,  and  his  sympathetic  heart 


104  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

was  most  decidedly  moved  in  her  direction. 
But,  of  course,  he  did  not  speak  to  her.  At 
length  she  stopped  the  stage. 

As  she  stepped  out,  Ezekiel  followed  her. 
When  she  reached  the  pavement  and  started 
on,  she  looked  around  and  saw  him  following.  At 
this,  she  stopped  before  a  window,  and  began 
to  look  at  articles  there  displayed  for  sale,  think 
ing  that  Ezekiel  would  pass.  But  he  also  stopped 
before  another  window,  and  holding  up  his  eye 
glasses,  seemed  entirely  absorbed  in  something 
unusually  attractive  there.  Seeing  this,  Julia 
started  on.  Then  Ezekiel  also  started  on.  She 
walked  faster ;  and  so  did  he,  until  he  began  to 
sweat  and  blow.  Then  she  checked  her  pace, 
and  walked  very,  very  slow ;  and  so  did  he. 

"  Now,  convinced  that  he  was  really  after  her, 
she  hurried  on,  her  feet  winged  with  fear,  until 
she  turned  into  another  street  and  reached  her 
house.  She  ran  up  the  steps  and  rang  the  bell. 
Then  she  turned  around  to  look  for  her  pur 
suer.  There  he  stood,  but  a  little  distance  off, 
looking  at  a  house  across  the  street,  as  though 
examining  it  with  a  view  to  purchase. 

As  soon  as  she  had  disappeared  within,  Eze 
kiel  walked  along  until  he  reached  the  house. 
He  saw  a  man  engaged  in  shaving  the  well-kept 
lawn,  and  stopped.  Resting  his  arms  upon  the 
fence,  he  looked  over. 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  105 

"A  —  hem!"  said  Mr.  Pelter.  And  the  man 
looked  up. 

Mr.  Pelter  smiled  and  said :  "  Fine  grounds, 
sir." 

The  man,  without  replying,  turned  to  his  work 
again. 

"  A  —  hem  !  "  said  Mr.  Pelter,  a  little  louder 
than  before  ;  and  the  man  looked  up  again. 

"  Will  you  step  here  a  moment  ? "  asked  Mr. 
Pelter.  The  man  walked  up  to  him. 

"  Who   lives   here  ?  "    Ezekiel  inquired. 

"Mr.   Smith." 

"  Does   she  live  here  with   him  ? " 

"  Who  ?  " 

"  Why,  that  woman  who  just  went  in." 

"  Pretty  likely,  sir,  for  that 's   his  wife." 

"His — wife!"  exclaimed  Ezokiel.  "Two  wives 
on  hand,  and  looking  for  another !  Oh,  what  a 
world!  what  a  wicked  world!"  Saying  this,  he 
turned  and  walked  away. 

"  What  did  that  man  want  ?  "  asked  Julia,  from 
a  chamber  window  where  she  had  been  standing 
on  the  watch. 

"  Why,  ma'am,"  the  man  replied,  looking  up 
to  her,  "he  's  crazy." 

"What  did   he  want,  I  ask!" 

"  He   asked   me   who  lived  here." 

"  Well  ?  " 

"I  told  him  Mr.  Smith." 


10G  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Well ! " 

"  He  asked  if  you  lived   here." 

"  Well  ?  " 

u  I   told   him  yes." 

"Well,   well  — go  on!" 

"  Then  he  said :  '  Two  wives  on  hand,  and 
looking  for  another !  ' 

"Is   that   all?" 

"That's   all,    ma'am." 

"What   did   he    mean    by   that?" 

"Don't  know,  ma'am  —  he  didn't  say  —  that's 
all  he  said." 

Julia  withdrew,  and  put  this  conversation  in 
her  place  for  curiosities. 

When  Mr.  Pel  tor  met  the  Board  again  he  was 
big  with  his  discovery.  His  zeal  was  specially 
commended,  and  every  one  declared  that  the 
"work"  was  progressing  favorably. 

"  Now,  if  we  only  had  what  the  lawyers  call 
the  flagrante  delicto,  we  could  take  active  meas 
ures  !"  one  exclaimed. 

"  Do  you  suppose,"  was  the  judicial  inquiry  of 
the  Austere  Member,  speaking  to  Mr.  Pelter, 
"  that  you  can  track  the  man  himself  to  his  adul> 
terous  nest?" 

"  I  can  try,"  replied  Ezekiel ;  implying  by  his 
tone  and  manner  that  he  felt  quite  certain  of  his 
ability  to  do  so. 

"  Then   do   it,"    said    the    Board. 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  107 

This  important  matter  being  settled,  and  there 
being  nothing  further  of  special  interest  in  the 
missionary  field,  the  Board  adjourned,  to  meet 
again  when  Mr.  Pelter  should  be  ready  to  report. 

How  little  are  such  guardians  of  our  private 
virtues  appreciated  by  the  vulgar  throng ! 

44  But,"  as  Ezekiel  says,  "  their  reward  is  sure 
to  come  ;  in  another  world,  if  not  in  this."  Will 
it  smell  of  brimstone  ? 

Another  interval  of  unsuccessful  effort  on  the 
part  of  Mr.  Pelter.  He  gets  occasional  glimpses 
of  the  man  he  hunts,  but  he  can  not  track  him 
to  his  "nest"  without  discovering  himself.  This, 
for  obvious  reasons,  he  is  anxious  to  avoid :  he 
has  not  forgotten  his  ungraceful  exit  from  Jo 
seph's  house.  He  resolves,  at  last,  to  change  his 
plan  of  operations  —  to  wait  for  a  dark  and  moon 
less  night,  when  the  unsuspecting  man  will  be 
snugly  housed ;  unless  he  is  absent  with  his 
other  wife :  in  which  event  another  trial  must  be 
made. 

Under  cover  of  the  darkness  he  could  look 
through  illuminated  windows,  and,  unperceived 
himself,  see  everything  within.  It  was  as  dark 
as  Erebus  when  he  set  out.  He  found  the  place, 
and  paused  a  moment  to  consider  the  most  favor 
able  approach.  He  would  be  less  liable  to  ob 
servation  from  the  street  if  he  selected  his  position 
in  the  rear.  This  determined  him.  Very  cautiously 
5 


108  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

he  made  his  way  around  the  house.  Not  a 
sound  was  heard,  except  the  muffled  palpitations 
of  Ezekiel's  heart.  Suddenly  he  stumbled  over 
some  unseen  object  in  the  dark.  With  a  bless 
ing  on  his  pious  lips,  he  fell  upon  "  all  fours," 
with  his  bland  face  in  a  thorny  bush ;  now  up 
again,  he  stumbled  on  his  way.  At  last  he  saw 
a  flood  of  light  streaming  from  the  windows  in 
the  rear;  the  windows  were  too  high.  He  walked 
back  toward  the  stable,  to  change  the  angle  of 
his  vision,  and  finally,  he  could  just  perceive  the 
heads  of  John  and  Julia  in  the  room. 

"  He 's  there ! "  said  Mr.  Pelter  to  himself,  and 
he  began  to  feel  about,  to  find  some  object  on 
which  to  stand  for  a  better  view.  He  found  at 
last  a  barrel  —  one  used  in  carrying  coal  from 
the  alley  to  the  house.  With  a  word  of  gratu- 
lation,  he  turned  this  over, — "  bottom  up."  By 
great  exertion  he  finally  succeeded  in  getting  on 
and  standing  up.  Now  his  view  was  clear  and 
he  saw  distinctly.  What  he  saw  was  sufficient 
to  satisfy  the  Board  with  exclamations  for  weeks 
to  come. 

He  saw  Julia  rise,  and  go  up  to  John,  and 
then  —  sit  down:  not  on  another  chair,  but  on 
the  lap  of  the  suspected  John !  Before  he  had 
recovered  from  astonishment  at  seeing  this,  his 
attention  was  required  in  a  matter  more  exciting. 

The   house-dog,   having   been   restrained   by  the 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  109 

coachman  in  the  stable,  for  a  few  restless  mo 
ments,  now  came  bounding  from  the  stable  door. 
Ezekiel's  odor  struck  him  instantly  ;  and  with  no 
reverence  for  sanctimonious  scents,  he  made  a 
sudden  leap,  and  struck  the  barrel  on  which 
Ezekiel  stood.  Then  ensued  an  animated  con 
versation  ;  Ezekiel  dancing  all  the  time,  now  on 
one  foot,  now  on  the  other,  on  the  barrel-head. 

"  Good  doggie  ! "  said  Ezekiel,  in  his  most  per 
suasive  tone ;  and  then  he  jumped,  to  save  his 
bleeding  calf  from  another  bite. 

"  Bow-wow-wow  !  "  was  the  dogged  answer  ; 
and  then  another  snap,  arid  another  jump  at 
Ezekiel's  legs. 

"  So,  so  ;  good  doggie  !  nice  doggie  !  "  continued 
Mr.  Pelter. 

"Bow-wow-wow!"    the   dog   again   replied. 

Now  the  coachman,  thoroughly  aroused,  rushed 
forth,  with  a  pitchfork  in  his  hand.  "  S-c-c-c-ick ! 
sick  him,  Leo !  Hold  him  there  ! "  the  coach 
man  cried,  running  to  the  battle-field  with  his 
fork  in  rest. 

At  this  most  critical  emergency  the  barrel-head 
gave  way,  and  Ezekiel  dropped.  The  staves  now 
stood  around  him  as  a  protecting  shield  to  his 
bleeding  legs.  The  barrel  made  a  snugger  fit 
than  Ezekiel  was  accustomed  to,  and  he  could 
not  have  got  away  if  he  had  attempted  to,  with 
no  one  to  prevent. 


110  THE    MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTEK. 

"  Thief!  thief!  thief!  "  the  coachman  shouted  as 
loud  as  he  could  cry.  "  At  him,  Leo  !  at  him  !  " 

The  dog,  thus  stimulated,  barked  with  greater 
fury  than  before. 

This  confusion  very  soon  attracted  those  in  the 
house,  and  John  came  hurrying  out,  with  Julia 
and  the  servants  following  after  him. 

"  What  is   the   matter  ?  "    John    called    out. 

"  A  thief  !  We  've  caught  him  !  "  shouted  back 
the  coachman. 

John  ran  up,  but  it  was  too  dark  to  distin 
guish  anything. 

A  voice  from  the  darkness  now  cried  out : 
"  Do  n't  kill  me,  for  Heaven's  sake  !  I  am  not 
fit  to  die  !  I  always  said  I  was,  but  it 's  not  so  ! : 

As  John  approached  the  barrel,  the  voice  con 
tinued,  "  O,  Mr.  Smith,  do  n't  let  them  kill  me ! 
I'll  get  down  upon  my  knees  to  you!  I  am  not 
a  thief!" 

"  Get  your  lantern,  Thomas,"  said  John,  speak 
ing  to  the  coachman,  "  and  throw  some  light  on 
this  dark  subject." 

The  lantern  was  already  lighted,  and  the  coach 
man  went  and  returned  with  it  within  the  in 
stant.  John  took  the  lantern  and  held  it  up  to 
Mr.  Pelter's  face,  and  knew  it  at  a  glance  ;  then 
ooking  at  the  barrel-trap,  he  laughed,  and  shout- 
vd  :  "  By  all  that 's  wonderful !  A  barrel-full  of 
charity  !  " 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  Ill 

Ezekiel  groaned. 

"  What  are  you  doing  here,  and  at  such  a  time 
of  night  ?  "  asked  John,  when  sufficiently  recov 
ered. 

"  Oh,  sir !  "  said  Mr.  Pelter  from  the  barrel, 
"  if  you  will  let  me  off  this  time,  I  '11  never 
trouble  you  again  !  " 

"  But  what,  in  the  name  of  mischief,  are  you 
here  for?"  persisted  John. 

"  You  forget  that  you  are  riot  alone  !  "  replied 
Ezekiel,  speaking  in  a  lower  tone,  intended  for 
John's  private  ear.  But  Julia  heard  him,  and 
inquired,  "  What 's  that  ? "  He  did  not  answer. 
She  was  curious. 

"  Help  him  out  of  here,"  said  she,  "  and  bring 
liim  to  the  house  for  examination." 

They  contrived  to  pull  him  out,  and  John  con 
tinued :  "  Now  walk  on,  and  we  will  follow." 

When  they  reached  the  house,  John  conducted 
Mr.  Pelter  to  the  room  where  he  had  seen  the 
shocking  sight.  Here  the  good  man's  sad  con 
dition  was,  for  the  first  time,  fairly  visible.  His 
face  was  scratched  by  the  thorny  busli  on  which 
he  fell,  and  soma  blood  had  started  from  the 
scratches.  While  engaged  with  Leo  at  the  bar 
rel,  excessive  perspiration  had  flowed  the  blood 
to  untouched  portions  of  his  face ;  and  when  he 
was  finally  released,  he  passed  his  coal-black 
Lands  down  and  across  his  face,  and  streaked 


112  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

it  with  his  fingers ;  so  his  look  was  more  like 
a  savage,  smeared  for  the  war  path,  than  the 
meek  dependent  of  the  Ladies'  Board.  His  spot 
less  waistcoat  Avas  all  black  with  coal,  and  his 
lower  garments  were  torn  and  soiled  in  many 
places.  All  this,  with  Mr.  Pelter's  frightened 
looks,  was  too  much  for  Julia's  gravity ;  and  in 
spite  of  all  the  stuffing  in  her  mouth  —  for  she 
had  crammed  in  her  handkerchief  —  she  suddenly 
exploded  Avith  such  a  ring  of  laughter  as  set 
the  servants  in  a  roar,  where  they  were  canvass 
ing  the  situation.  John  was  nearly  overcome  as 
well,  but  he  managed  to  restrain  himself,  and, 
smiling,  said : 

"  Now,  sir,  let  us  hear  what  you  have  to  say." 

Ezekiel,  without  speaking,  slyly  made  a  motion 
with  his  thumb  in  the  direction  of  the  laughing 
Julia.  John  could  not  comprehend  this  digital 
expression,  and  he  spoke  again  —  now  with  some 
impatience. 

"Well,  well,  go   on!" 

Had  Mr.  Pelter  been  in  a  less  dangerous  situa 
tion,  and  free  from  all  embarrassment,  he  would 
undoubtedly  have  improved  the  present  opportu 
nity  to  rebuke,  with  great  severity,  what  he  re 
garded  as  the  sinful  lives  of  John  and  Julia ;  but 
prudential  thoughts  restrained  him. 

He  thought  that  by  concealing  what  he  sup 
posed  he  knew  of  John's  relation  to  the  jealous 


'Mr.  Pelter  slyly  made  a  motion  with  his  thumb  in  the  direction 
of  the  laughing  Julia." 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  115 

Rachel,  lie  would  conciliate  the  dangerous  man. 
So  he  cautiously  replied : 

44 1  was  only  standing  on  the  barrel,  sir,  and 
looking  in/' 

"  But  Avhat  possessed  you  to  come  and  look  in 
here?"  asked  Julia;  now  connecting  in  her  mind 
this  strange  behavior  with  that  of  Mr.  Pelter's 
following  her,  and  his  strange  remark  as  to 
John's  "  other  woo-man,"  and  the  dual  wives. 

"  Why,  ma'am,"  Ezekiel  answered,  with  some 
confusion,  "I  wanted  —  to  see  —  if  you  were  here 
together  —  that's  all." 

This  answer  only  deepened  the  mystery ;  and 
Julia  was  about  to  continue  her  examination, 
when  John  turned  to  her  and  said : 

"  I  believe  the  man  is  cracked.  At  all  events, 
there  seems  to  be  no  sense  in  what  he  says.  I 
think  we  had  better  let  him  off;  he  has  been 
severely  punished,  as  it  is,  for  his  foolish  curi 
osity." 

"Oh,  yes!  —  by  all  means! — let  him  go!  —  if 
you  wish  it  so." 

Her  suspicions  were  thoroughly  aroused  by  what 
seemed  to  her  John's  anxiety  to  get  Ezekiel  off. 

"  Then  you  may  go,"  said  John ;  "  and  let  this 
experience  be  a  lesson  to  you." 

Ezekiel  was  not  long  in  going ;  and  when  he 
found  himself  alone,  he  said :  "  It  was  a  lucky 
thing  for  me  that  I  knew  about  his  Rachel!  That 


110  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

knowledge  saved  me.  It  would  not  do  to  be 
severe  with  me.  J  miyht  tell!  But  what  will 
Mrs.  Pelter  say  when  she  sees  me  in  this  con 
dition  ?  She  '11  put  me  in  the  wash-tub  now,  I 
fear." 

His  duty  first  was  to  report  to  Rachel ;  and 
even  in  his  soiled  and  tattered  garments  he  made 
his  way  to  Rachel's  house,  and  there  reported  his 
discovery.  "With  serious  misgivings,  he  now  pro 
ceeded  to  confront  his  "  cross."  What  Mrs.  Pel 
ter  really  did,  or  what  she  said  to  him,  Avas 
never  known.  He  would  never  speak  of  it.  But 
it  was  remarked,  after  that  unlucky  night,  that 
he  stood  in  greater  fear  of  his  spirited  companion 
than  before ;  and  it  was  also  noticed  that,  after 
that,  when  she  cried  "  PELTEII  ! "  he  bounded 
like  a  rubber  ball.  His  face,  too,  had  a  care 
worn  look,  which  all  his  blandness  could  not 
entirely  conceal. 

After  Mr.  Pelter  left  the  house,  John  and  Julia 
began  to  discuss  the  matter. 

"  This  looks  very  strange  to  me,"  said  Julia. 
"  Why  should  that  man  take  such  pains  to  look 
in  here?" 

u  I  do  n't  know,"  was  John's  reply ;  "  but  as 
near  as  I  can  ascertain,  he  belongs  to  a  board  of 
meddlers  in  other  people's  matters." 

"  But  why  should  such  a  Board  direct  its  in 
quiries  in  this  direction  ?  What  is  there  here  to 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO   DANGER.  117 

excite  their  curiosity  ?  That 's  what  puzzles 
me ! " 

"Well,  I  admit  it's  strange;  and  I  do  n't  un 
derstand  it  any  better  than  yourself." 

44  Why  did  you  dismiss  him  before  he  was 
thoroughly  examined?" 

"  I  spoke  to  you  before  dismissing  him,  and  I 
understood  you  to  assent  to  it." 

44 1   assented,    because   you   proposed   it." 

"Did   you    wish    to    question  him?" 

"Well  — yes.     I  did." 

44  You   should   have    said   so,    then." 

44  You  seemed  in  such  a  hurry  to  get  him  off." 

44  In  a  hurry  !  Why  no,  my  dear ;  except  that 
I  did  not  care  to  hear  his  foolish  talk." 

John  spoke  so  naturally,  and  with  such  a  show 
of  perfect  frankness,  that  Julia  began  to  question 
her  suspicions.  Then  she  thought  that  she  would 
see  if  John,  in  any  way,  could  clear  up  some 
other  doubts. 

"  Do  you  know,"  said  she,  "  that  this  same 
Pelter  followed  me  all  the  way  from  down  town 
the  other  day  ?  " 

44  No,"  John  answered.  44  But  was  he  follow 
ing  you?  Was  he  not  by  chance  going  in  the 
same  direction  ?  " 

44  He  was  following  me  !  I  tested  him  suffi 
ciently  to  know.  Besides,  after  I  came  in,  he 
stopped  and  questioned  Thomas.  He  asked  who 


118  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

lived  here,  and  when  Thomas  told  him,  he  asked 
if  I  lived  here  with  you.  Thomas  told  him  that 
I  did,  and  that  I  was  your  wife.  What  do  you 
suppose  he  said?1' 

"  That   I   was   a   lucky   fellow." 

"  He  said,  4  two  wives  on  hand,  and  looking 
for  another!'  What  did  he  mean  by  that?" 

"  Why  the  man  is  crazy !  I  more  than  half 
thought  so  before,  but  now  it 's  clear.  What  man 
in  his  senses  would  get  off  such  twaddle  ?  When 
I  met  him  first  he  acted  in  a  very  curious  way, 
and  I  thought  that  he  was  drunk  —  but  that  I 

O 

told  you  of." 

"  Then,  when  he  met  us  on  the  street,  and 
spoke  of  your  4  other  woo-man,'  he  was  crazy 
too?" 

"  No  doubt  of  it.  I  can  understand  it  now. 
He  has  something  on  his  crazy  mind  about  a 
woman,  and,  perhaps,  when  he  saw  us  on  the 
street  that  day,  lie  associated  you  with  her. 
Queer  freaks  these  fellows  have  sometimes.  This 
also  Avill  account  for  his  following  you,  and  for 
his  appearance  here  to-night.  No  sane  man  would 
have  perched  himself  upon  a  barrel,  in  the  back 
yard,  to  see  if  we  were  in,  when  a  thousand 
simpler  ways  were  open  to  him.  He  could  have 
rung  the  bell,  and  walked  in  to  see  us.  It  must 
be  that  the  fellow 's  daft.  I  'm  glad  that  we 
were  easy  on  him." 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  119 

All  this  seemed  possible,  and  even  reasonable, 
Julia  thought.  And  she  was  satisfied. 

For  some  days  after  this  Mr.  Pelter  did  not 
leave  his  house.  These  were  dark  days:  and  even 
to  Ms  day  a  veil  of  darkness  hides  them.  But 
in  these  dark  days  the  scratches  on  Ezekiel's 
face  and  the  bites  upon  his  legs  were  healed. 
Then  Ezekiel  emerged.  And  there  was  nothing 
in  his  dress  or  look  to  recall  the  unlucky  night. 
But  in  Mr.  Pelter's  manner  there  was  some 
thing  strange.  He  never  stopped  upon  the  street 
without  looking  around,  as  though  upon  the 
watch ;  and  sometimes  he  would  fancy  that  he 
saw  the  object  of  his  fear,  and  then  he  would 
dodge  and  conceal  himself,  or  turn  quickly  into 
another  street.  This  fear  was  ever-present  with 
him,  and  he  could  not  shake  it  off,  for  it  dogged 
him  —  everywhere.  A  future  chapter  will  disclose 
the  nature  of  this  fear. 

After  he  emerged,  he  sent  notice  to  the  Board, 
and  named  a  day  when  he  would  meet  them  at 
their  rooms.  At  the  appointed  time,  they  all 
assembled  there,  and  when  Mr.  Pelter  entered 
he  was  greeted  and  much  comforted  by  their 
applause.  It  was  understood  among  them  that 
he  had  made  some  astonishing  discoveries,  and 
that  the  "cause"  was  much  indebted  to  his  moral 
courage.  They  were  impatient  for  the  details. 
Mr.  Pelter's  natural  modesty  inclined  him  to  at- 


120  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

tempt  to  check  the  enthusiasm  of  the  Board  in 
his  behalf;  but  somehow,  as  it  always  happened 
in  such  attempts,  his  words  and  manner  only 
served  to  make  himself  more  prominent. 

"  It  is  not  myself,"  said  he,  on  this  occasion, 
"  but  the  cause  of  virtue  that  has  triumphed ! 
/am  but  a  worm!  an  humble  instrument!" 

This  was  very  modest  in  Ezekiel,  but  any  one 
could  see  by  his  self-satisfied  expression  that  he 
did  take  personal  credit,  and  feel  a  personal 
triumph,  and  that  he  believed  that  all  the  vir 
tues  revolved  around  himself  and  made  their 
center  there.  It  was  noticed,  as  he  spoke,  that 
withal  there  was  an  anxious  look  upon  his  face, 
and  the  cause  of  this  he  now  proceeded  to  ex 
plain. 

"I  am  walking  in  the  constant  fear  of  death!" 
said  lie.  "  At  any  moment  I  may  be  stricken 
down  by  this  bold  adulterer  —  this  mini  of  sin! 
If  I  fall,  let  it  be  remembered  of  me  that  I  fell 
in  the  noble  cause  of  duty!" 

It  is  impossible  to  describe  the  imposing  atti 
tude  of  Mr.  Pelter  as  he  delivered  these  affect 
ing  words.  The  effect  upon  the  Board  was  most 
profound. 

"In  the   cause  of   duty,"   continued   Mr.  Pelter, 
"  I   am   fearless !      Let    the    base    assassin    strike  I 
he    will   strike    a   fearless   heart ! " 
"What  a  noble  man!"    said   a  weeping    member. 


MR.   PELTER  LED  INTO  DANGER.  121 

"He  shall   not   strike   you,"    sobbed    Miranda. 

"  But,  to  my  report,"  continued  Mr.  Pelter, 
and  all  were  curious.  "  Our  worst  suspicions 
are  confirmed  !  I  have  visited  the  abode  of  sin, 
and  I  saw  the  damning  proof !  It  is  for  this  lie 
threatens  me,  and  seeks  my  life  !  " 

The  sensation  here  was  equal  to  Ezekiel's 
wishes,  and  he  paused  to  give  it  full  effect. 

"  I  saw,"  said  he,  impressively,  and  with  great 
deliberation,  that  handsome  w00-man — sit  down — " 
Here  he  stopped  abruptly  and  looked  at  his  "Mi- 
rindy" 

"  Go  on  !  Go  on !  "  cried  out  the  excited 
members. 

"  Shall  I  go  on  ? "  said  he,  with  his  eyes  still 
fixed  on  the  gushing  vessel,  "  and  blush  those 
virgin  cheeks  with  shame  ?  " 

"Oh,  do  go  on!"  called  out  the  vessel,  not 
blushing  in  the  least. 

"I  saw  her  —  sit  down,"  resumed  Ezekiel, 
"  upon  —  his  —  1-a-p  !  " 

"  Oh,  shame  !  "  "  Shame  !  "  "  Shame  !  "  cried 
the  members  of  the  Board;  and  Miranda  now 
put  up  her  hands  as  if  to  hide  her  blushes  — 
although,  in  fact,  there  were  no  blushes  there  to 
hide. 

"  But  how  was  it,  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r,"  a  member 
asked,  "that  you  saw  all  this?  Did  you  go  in?" 

"  I     did,"     replied     Ezekiel  :     but     from     some 


122  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER, 

strange  forgetfulness  at  the  instant,  or  from  the 
excitement  of  the  occasion,  he  did  not  make  the 
most  distant  reference  to  his  point  of  observa 
tion,  or  to  the  manner  of  his  entry.  He  then 
related  how,  on  the  following  day,  Joseph  Smith 
came  in  search  of  him,  and  when  he  could  not 
find  him,  how  he  frightened  Mrs.  Pelter  by  his 
murderous  threats.  In  all  of  this,  Ezekiel  made 
himself  appear  to  be  a  much  braver  man  than  he 
really  was,  and  he  assigned  a  cause  for  Joseph's 
anger  quite  different  from  the  actual  cause,  as 
will  appear  when  the  proper  scene  is  introduced. 
This  is  to  be  regretted,  since  many  readers  may 
be  inclined  to  question  Ezekiel's  veracity,  rather 
than  to  admire  his  peculiar  imagery.  He  was 
never  known  to  swerve  from  the  truth,  when  the 
truth  would  serve  as  well  as  imagery. 

The   Board   now   centered   all  its   sympathy   on 
the  forsaken  Rachel. 


CHAPTER    VI. 

TABLEAUX     VIVANTS. 

WHEN  Rachel  left  the  ladies'  rooms,  with 
Joseph  following  her,  she  made  every  effort  to 
avoid  him,  but  unsuccessfully.  He  followed  her 
with  prayers  and  protestations,  and  would  not  be 
shaken  off;  but  she  did  not  reply  to  him  by  so 
much  as  a  single  word.  Thus  they  walked  along 
until  they  reached  their  carriage.  Then  she 
turned  to  him,  and  said : 

"Which   one   of  us   shall   get   in   here?" 

"  Yourself,  of  course,  if  only  one,"  he  an 
swered. 

She  stepped  in,  and  he  stood  still  until  the 
carriage  turned  and  drove  away. 

The  whole  affair  was  so  incomprehensible  to 
him  that  he  knew  not  what  to  do.  He  saw  that 
in  Rachel's  present  state  he  could  not  talk  with 
her,  and  who  else  could  furnish  him  a  clue  ? 
Could  -  it  be  possible  that  he  had  \isited  the 
Board  without  knowing  it  himself?  This  could 
not  be  possible,  of  course,  unless  his  mind  had 

123 


124  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

been  aberrant.  Had  it  been?  The  positive  as 
sertions  of  all  the  members,  and  of  Miranda  Trap, 
certainly  seemed  to  show  that  he  had  been  there. 
Was  his  mind  in  any  way  disordered,  and  yet 
he,  apparently,  in  the  full  possession  of  his  fac 
ulties  ? 

"  No  madman  was  ever  yet  convinced  of  his 
own  insanity,"  lie  thought ;  "  and  if  my  mind  is 
touched,  that  would  account  for  everything." 
But  such  reflections  were  too  absurd,  and  he 
abruptly  broke  them  off. 

When  he  first  concluded  to  settle  in  New  York, 
he  invested  nearly  all  his  funds  in  a  manufac 
turing  establishment  in  New  Jersey,  and  in  some 
vessels  engaged  in  trade  and  transportation  to 
foreign  countries. 

The  factory  in  New  Jersey  was  in  a  quiet, 
pleasant  spot,  and  Joseph  made  occasional  visits 
there,  remaining  bometimes  for  several  days  to 
gether.  Now  he  thought  of  this  quiet  spot,  as 
a  place  of  rest  from  his  distractions,  until  his 
Avife  should  find  a  better  and  more  temperate 
mind.  He  no  longer  thought  of  insisting  upon 
an  explanation  of  Mr.  Pelter's  questionable  ap 
pearance  in  his  house,  for  if  Rachel  should  deign 
to  answer  him  at  all.  she  would  answer  by  a 
counter-charge,  no  doubt.  It  Avould  be  best,  he 
thought,  for  many  reasons,  to  leave  passion  time  to 
cool,  and  to  avoid  all  further  conflicts  for  the  present. 


TABLEAUX    VI V ANTS.  125 

So  he  determined  to  make  a  visit  to  the  fac 
tory  ;  and  with  this  determination  he  started  for 
his  house. 

"  Rachel,"  said  he,  when  he  saw  his  wife,  "  I 
have  concluded  to  make  a  visit  to  the  factory,, 
and  let  our  troubles  rest  until  our  minds  are 
settled,  and  we  can  talk  them  over  calmly." 

Rachel  was  too  strong  a  woman  to  be  easily 
crushed  by  troubles,  but  she  could  petrify ;  and 
so  she  turned  to  stone. 

"  My  mind  is  settled  now ! "  she  answered. 
"  If  you  need  sedatives,  take  them  in  any  form 
you  please.  It  will  occupy  some  time,  I  think, 
for  you  to  arrange  a  plausible  theory  of  defense ; 
take  your  time  —  and  make  it  strong.  I  shall 
manage  to  exist  if  you  are  absent  for  awhile." 

"  I  see  that  it  is  useless  to  attempt  to  talk  at 
present,"  responded  Joseph. 

"  Entirely  useless  !  "  was  the  answer.  "  I  have 
lost  faith  in  you !  Do  you  know  what  that 
means?  Do  you  know  what  it  is  to  lose  an 
other's  confidence?" 

"  Well,  well ;  no  matter  now.  I  shall  not  be 
absent  very  long,  and  hope  to  find  you  in  a  bet 
ter  mind  when  I  come  back." 

She  did  not  answer  this;  and  Joseph  went  out 
to  pack  up  his  things.  Very  soon  he  left  the 
house. 

Nothing   could  have  suited  Rachel   better  than 


126  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Joseph's  absence  for  awhile.  She  could  now  take 
any  measures  deemed  expedient  for  securing 
proofs  of  Joseph's  guilt,  and  without  the  fear  of 
interruption.  She  soon  stated  her  intentions  to 
the  Ladies'  Board,  and  found  in  them  a  corps  of 
ready  helpers.  They  advised  her  to  confide  in 
Mr.  Pelter,  and  be  governed  by  his  knowledge 
and  experience.  This  advice  was  agreeable  to 
her. 

There  is  a  subtile  law,  pertaining  to  the  action 
of  our  hearts,  which  resembles  that  so  often  quoted 
by  physical  philosophers  as  a  general  law  of  na 
ture —  it  abhors  a  vacuum. 

This  abhorrence  was  in  Rachel's  nature,  as  well 
as  in  that  of  gentler  women  ;  and  she  could  not 
help  contrasting  Mr.  Pelter,  on  his  knees,  suffer 
ing  from  a  vacuum,  and  Joseph  with  his  vacuum 
doubly  filled.  Wintry  smiles  began  to  flit  across 
her  stony  face,  and  sometimes  even  warmer  ones. 
But  they  found  the  place  so  strange,  at  first,  that 
they  did  not  linger  there.  That  they  came  at  all 
was  evidence  that  Rachel  had  begun  to  modify 
the  rigid  maxims  of  her  life.  Mr.  Pelter  must 
have  been  a  man  of  wondrous  power,  to  make  a 
change  so  marvelous. 

The  ladies  told  her  where  Ezekiel  lived ;  and 
a  few  days  after  Joseph  left  she  resolved  to  call 
upon  him.  Mrs.  Pelter  saw  her  when  she  left 
her  carriage  at  the  gate,  and  started  for  the  door; 


TABLEAUX    VIVANTS.  127 

and  so  did  Mr.  Pelter.  Both  thought  to  meet 
La i-  at  the  door,  and  both  started  —  but  Ezeldel 
wiu  first. 

His  wife  retired  with  a  frown  upon  her  face, 
and  he  received  the  visitor.  He  showed  her  to 
his  little  room,  and  she  at  once  commenced  : 

"  I   have    come   to   ask  your   help    again." 

"  I  am  always  at  your  service,  madam,"  re 
plied  Ezekiel,  with  a  bow. 

The  wintry  smiles  began  to  flicker  feebly  on 
Rachel's  face  again,  as  she  responded : 

"  You   are   very   kind." 

"What  is  it  now?"  asked  Mr.  Pelter,  in  a 
business  way. 

"It  is  —  trouble!  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r ; "  and  Ra 
chel  struck  the  lingering  accent  on  his  name. 

Mr.  Pelter's  gentle  heart  was  touched,  and  so 
profoundly  touched  that  even  his  M.j-rindy  was 
forgotten.  There  was  a  look  of  more  than  sym 
pathy  in  his  inquiring  eyes,  but  Rachel  did  not 
notice  it. 

"  Trouble  ?  "  he  repeated.  "  And  have  you 
heard  of  it?" 

"Of  what?"    she   asked. 

"  Did  you  not  tell  the  ladies  that  your  hus 
band  was  at  the  factory,  in  New  Jersey  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"  And  do  you  still  believe  that  he  is  there  ? " 

"  Yes." 


128  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Then   you   have   not  heard   of   it  ! " 

"Of   what?" 

"  Of  your   husband's   latest  !  " 

"  Latest   what?  " 

"  Latest   WOO-MAN  !  " 

"Another   one?" 

"  Another  ! " 

Rachel's  fortitude  was  tried  at  last,  and  she 
began  to  break. 

"  Tell   me,"    was   all   that   she   could   utter. 

"  He  is  not  at  the  factory !  He  is  in  the 
city  !  " 

-Go   on!" 

%t  I   saw   him   yesterday  !  " 

"Ah!  now  I  see  you  are  mistaken.  If  lie  had 
been  here  yesterday,  I  should  have  seen  him — - 
he  would  have  been  at  home." 

"  He    should   have    been    at    home." 

kt  He   would   have   been,  I   say !  " 

"But   he    was  not!  " 

"  He    was  not  in  the  city ! " 

"  I   saw  him  !  " 

"  Tt  was  a  mistake  !  " 

"  My-rindy  saw  him!" 

"  She  was  mistaken  !  " 

"  We  met  him  face  to  face  —  and  he  spoke  to 
us  —  with  the  woo-msm  hanging  on  his  arm!' 

o       o 

"  This,  then,"  said  Rachel,  with  a  sudden  flash 
of  rage,  "  is  the  secret  of  his  frequent  visits  to 


TABLEAUX    VIVANTS.  129 

the  factory !  O,  what  a  shocking  factory  !  Who 
is  she  ?  Can  you  tell  me  who  she  is,  and  where 
she  can  be  found?" 

"  Not  yet,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  "  but  I  shall 
track  her  to  the  nest,  and  then  I  '11  tell  you." 
For  a  moment  Rachel's  look  was  one  of  stupe 
faction  and  absolute  despair.  She  began  to  grope 
as  if  in  darkness,  and  to  totter  as  if  about  to 
fall.  Mr.  Pelter,  seeing  this,  stretched  out  his 
arms  to  catch  her,  and  called  out : 

"Rachel!" 

At  this  very  instant,  Mrs.  Pelter's  head  popped 
through  the  door,  and  she  cried  : 

"PELTER!"    and  then   popped   back  again. 

Rachel  did  not  fall,  nor  did  Mr.  Pelter  touch 
her,  but  she  put  one  hand  upon  her  forehead, 
and  stood  a  moment  speechless  ;  then  the  long- 
sealed  fountain  of  her  tears  gave  way,  and  she 
sobbed  as  though  her  heart  was  broken. 

This  was  no  time  for  sentimental  thoughts  or 
speech,  on  the  part  of  Mr.  Pelter,  for  there  was 
a  passion  quivering  in  his  presence  which  dwarfed 
and  stunned  him. 

"  God  help  me  ! "  was  all  she  said,  when,  by 
great  effort,  she  had  sufficiently  recovered ;  and, 
with  tears  upon  her  cheeks,  she  turned  and  left 
the  house. 

Rachel's  agony  .had  a  human  termination.  After 
she  had  reached  her  home  and  reflected  on  this 


130  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

new  development,  all  her  other  passions  were  sub 
jected  to  the  ruling  one  of  hate.  She  resolved 
to  find  the  woman  who  hung  on  Joseph's  arm 
—  for  she  hated  her. 

After  Mr.  Pelter  had  followed  Julia  home  and 
made  his  inquiries  of  Thomas,  as  recorded  in  a 
previous  chapter,  he  hastened  to  report  the  facts 
to  Rachel.  She  would  have  gone  at  once  and 
confronted  Julia,  but  Ezekiel  advised  her  to  be 
patient,  and  wait  until  he  had  caught  Joseph 
there,  and  made  the  case  too  clear  for  contra 
diction. 

On  that  unlucky  night  when,  from  his  position 
on  the  barrel-head,  Mr.  Pelter  saw  the  shocking 
sight,  Rachel  was  startled  by  a  visit  from  the 
begrimed  and  battered  man. 

"They're    caught!"    said   he. 

And  then  he  told  his  story ;  and  she  could 
see  how  much  he  had  suffered  in  her  service. 
Promising  to  meet  again  they  parted,  for  it  was 
late,  and  Ezekiel  must  hasten  home. 

The  proof  of  Joseph's  infidelity  was  now  re 
garded  as  complete ;  and  Rachel  was  impatient 
for  the  day  of  his  arraignment. 

Joseph  remained  longer  in  New  Jersey  than  he 
had  intended  when  he  left  his  house  ;  and  when 
he  reached  New  York  again,  he  was  advised  that 
a  vessel  in  which  he  was  part  owner  was  ready 
for  another  voyage  —  indeed  it  had  been  ready 


TABLEAUX    VIVANTS.  131 

for  several  hours,  and  was  only  waiting  for  his 
return.  It  was  nearly  night  when  he  arrived, 
and  without  delay  he  went  on  board  to  inspect 
the  cargo,  and  give  some  final  orders  and  in 
structions.  He  was  detained  for  several  hours, 
and  until  late  at  night ;  so  late,  that  he  resolved 
to  "turn  in"  there  for  the  remainder  of  the 
night.  This  was  the  unlucky  night  of  Ezeldel's 
visit  to  the  house  of  John,  when  he  saw  the 
shocking  sight.  On  the  following  morning,  early, 
he  went  ashore,  and  the  vessel  sailed. 

Now  he  started  for  his  house,  and  on  the 
way  was  occupied  by  his  perplexities:  he  little 
dreamed  how  much  they  had  been  complicated 
since  he  left  his  house.  He  soon  found  Rachel, 
and  in  a  glad  and  hopeful  voice  saluted  her ; 
attempting  even  a  caress  more  affectionate  than 
usual. 

She  drew  away  from  him  with  a  look  of  ab 
solute  disgust. 

"Why,  Rachel,"  said  he,  in  astonishment,  "is 
this  your  greeting?" 

She  did  not  even  answer  him,  and  walked 
away. 

"  We  must  arrive  at  some  understanding  in 
this  matter,"  said  Joseph  to  himself.  "  I  can  not 
live  in  this  way ! "  And  with  a  look  of  some 
determination,  he  started  after  Rachel.  He  found 
her  seated  in  another  room. 


132  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Rachel,"  said  he,  "  if  you  will  help  me  in 
this  matter,  we  can  probably  arrive  at  some  satis 
factory  solution.  I  have  tried  without  your  help, 
and  only  grope  in  darkness.  This  Miranda  Trap 
is  like  the  Old  Man  of  the  Sea  to  me  ;  and  un 
less  I  shake  her  off,  she  '11  ride  me  to  distrac 
tion.  There  is  an  explanation,  if  we  can  only 
find  it." 

"  Your  affair  with  Miranda  Trap,"  said  Rachel, 
in  an  icy  tone,  "  was  fortunately  discovered  in 
time  to  save  her." 

"  I  tell  you,"  said  Joseph,  with  impatience, 
"  that  I  never  had  an  affair  with  Miranda  Trap ! " 

"  So  you  said  before,"  said  Rachel,  in  a  tone 
most  aggravating. 

"Rachel!"  retorted  Joseph,  angrily,  "you  seem 
to  have  forgotten  what  I  saw  in  this  very  room  ! 
and  that  there  is  an  explanation  due  to  me. 
Are  you  attempting  to  cover  it  by  these  ridic 
ulous  and  baseless  charges  ?  Remember  that  it 
was  not  a  shadow  that  /  saw." 

"Sir!'  said  Rachel,  flaming  instantly,  and 
rising  to  her  feet,  "  there  are  other  charges,  and 
very  far  from  shadowy  ones,  which  you  must 
meet!  You  will  find  them  much  more  serious 
and  perplexing  than  what  you  call  the  '  ridic 
ulous  and  baseless  ones.'  They,  at  least,  are  sup 
ported  by  the  most  substantial  proof!" 

"  Other    charges ! '.'     repeated    Joseph,    with    a 


TABLEAUX    VIVA  NTS.  133 

sneer.  "  What  other  charges  ?  Name  them  !  All ! 
And  let 's  have  done  with  nonsense.  I  am  tired 
of  this  everlasting  mystery  and  innuendo.  If  you. 
will  not  have  peace  I-1- and  insist  on  war!  —  un 
mask  your  batteries !  I  am  disgusted  with  this 
trifling!" 

Rachel  saw  a  storm  in  Joseph's  face  ;  but  she 
felt  too  well  armed  to  tremble,  and  she  answered 
promptly : 

"  Another  of  your  amours  has  been  brought  to 
light!" 

"  For  heaven's  sake,  speak  out !  I  tell  you  that 
I  am  tired  of  insinuations!  Name  your  charges!" 

"  Very  well."  Here  Rachel's  face  was  white. 
"  I  charge  you  with  pretending  to  be  absent  in 
New  Jersey,  when,  in  fact,  you  are  in  the  city 
here  with  a  handsome  and  voluptuous  woman ! 
I- 

"  Go  on  !  go  on !  Let 's  see  how  far  your  fool 
ish  jealousy  will  lead  you  !  " 

"  You  have  been  seen  with  this  handsome  and 
voluptuous  woman  upon  your  lap  !  And  I  know 
the  very  house  where*  you  live  in  shameless  adul 
tery  together  !  Are  the  charges  clear  —  and  free 
from  ;  mystery  ' —  and  '  innuendo ' —  and  '  insinua 
tion'?" 

"  They   are    monstrous    lies !    and   so    monstrous 
in   their   character    as    to    make    me    doubt    your 
sanity ! " 
6 


134  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"I  have  the  proof!  the  proof!!  the  PROOF!!!" 
now  cried  Rachel,  furious  with  passion. 

«  You  —  have  —  no  —  such  —  thing  !  "  answered 
Joseph,  so  terribly  in  earnest  that  he  was  white 
and  calm.  "But  I  have  proof — and  can  produce 
it  —  to  show  that  I  have  not  been  in  the  city 
since  I  left  you  here  !" 

"Where  were  you  last  night?"  asked  Rachel. 
"  In  New  Jersey  ?" 

"  Last  night  I  was  detained  by  business  until 
nearly  morning  — 

"Ha!    ha!    ha!     Not  in  New  Jersey,  though?" 

"  No." 

"  I  know  it  1  and  I  know  what  your  4  business ' 
was.  You  were  caught  last  night !  You  thought 
that  Mr.  Pelter  would  not  tell!" 

"Mr.  Pelter! — would  not  tell?  Why,  woman, 
I  was  on  board  a  vessel!" 

"Perhaps  you  have  proof  of  that?" 

"  The  vessel  sailed  this  morning,  and  of  course 
I  have  not  the  proof  at  present,  but  when  she 
retains  I  can  furnish  proof." 

"  This,  then,  is  the  Avay  you  have  arranged  to 
meet  the  charge,  if  Mr.  Pelter  should  report ! 
What  a  convenient  thinsr  that  vessel  was !  Of 

O 

course  she  carried  off  your  proof !  Now,  sir,  it 
must  be  evident  to  you  that  you  have  been  ex 
posed  !  I  could  even  send  you  to  the  peniten 
tiary  as  a  bigamist!" 


TABLEAUX  VI V ANTS. 

"  You  have  gone  too  far  to  stop  at  this,"  said 
Joseph,  now  very  calm.  "  These  charges  are  too 
serious  to  be  trifled  with.  Explain  yourself!" 

"  I  shall  tell  you  nothing  more,"  said  Rachel. 
44  You  know  it  all !  You  would  like  to  ascer 
tain,  no  doubt,  how  much  I  know,  that  you  may 
trim  your  sails  accordingly.  You  may  rest  as 
sured  that  I  know  enough  —  too  much,  indeed  ! 
What  I  may  conclude  to  do,  is  yet  an  open 
question.  You  will  learn  in  proper  time." 

With  this  she  turned  from  him  again,  and  again 
went  out  and  left  him. 

"  That  rascally  Pelter  has  been  here,"  said 
Joseph  to  himself.  "  He  is  the  author  of  this 
mischief,  and  he  shall  explain  it  to  me.  I  '11  go 
to  him  at  once  ! " 

Then  he  started  from  the  house.  He  was  not 
long  in  finding  where  Mr.  Pelter  lived,  and  soon 
found  the  house.  But  Mr.  Pelter  was  laid  up 
with  the  injuries  received  the  night  before  in 
the  grounds  of  John ;  and  Mrs.  Pelter  so  far  ob 
served  his  wishes  as  to  say  to  all  that  he  was 
not  able  to  see  visitors. 

"  Is  Mr.  Pelter  in?"  asked  Joseph,  when  she 
had  answered  to  his  ring. 

"  He  is  in  his  room,  sir ;  but  at  present  he  is 
not  able  to  see  visitors,"  was  her  reply.  "  I  will 
take  your  name  and  give  it  to  him,  and  he  will 
see  you  when  he  is  able." 


136  THE  All  SNAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  My  name  is  Smith,"  said  Joseph ;  "  but  no 
matter  ;  I  will  call  again." 

'•Are  you  Joseph  Smith?"  asked  Mrs.  Pelter, 
with  a  sudden  interest. 

"  Yes,"    he    answered. 

"  Come  in  !  come  in,  sir  !  I  want  to  talk  with 
yon,"  insisted  she.  He  stepped  in  and  followed  her. 

Ezekiel,  in  his  little  room,  had  heard  the  bell, 
and  when  he  heard  the  sound  of  voices  at  the 
door,  he  was  curious.  As  he  approached  his  door 
he  heard  his  wife  invite  the  visitor  to  enter ; 
and  now  he  was  more  curious  than  before.  As 
soon  as  they  had  passed  his  door  he  opened  it 
a  little  way  and  peeped  out.  He  saw  and  recog 
nized  the  visitor  at  once.  Feeling  a  sudden  weak 
ness  in  his  knees,  he  softly  closed  the  door  and 
took  out  his  large  and  spotless  handkerchief,  and 
wiped  his  face. 

"  He  is  after  me  ! "  said  he ;  and  then  he 
softly  locked  the  door,  and  drew  his  table  up 
against  it,  and  sat  down  on  the  table.  He  waited 
thus,  with  palpitating  heart,  for  some  little  time ; 
and  when  Joseph  did  not  come  out,  he  began 
to  think  that  he  had  another  object  in  his  visit. 

"  Is  he  after  Mrs.  Pelter  for  his  harem?"  was 
his  mental  question;  and  when  he  thought  it 
possible,  he  gave  soft  expression  to  his  horror. 
u  O,  what  a  world !  What  a  wicked  world ! " 
said  he. 


TABLEAUX    VIVANTS.  137 

When  Mrs.  Pelter  and  the  visitor  were  seated, 
she  said  to  him : 

"  Since  your  wife  and  my  husband  have  com 
menced  to  intrigue,  I  think  it  best  for  us  to  join 
against  them." 

"  Do  you  charge  my  wife  with  an  improper 
intrigue?"  asked  Joseph,  with  a  frown. 

"Well  —  yes.  That's  what  1  call  it.  I  be 
lieve  the  ladies  of  the  Board  have  some  other 
name  for  it  —  they  give  very  pious  names  some 
times  to  what  seems  irregular,  at  least  to  me." 
Saying  this,  she  excused  herself,  and  went  into 
another  room,  leaving  Joseph  on  tenter-hooks. 
She  soon  returned  with  a  letter  in  her  hand. 

"  You  know  your  wife's  handwriting,  I  sup 
pose?"  said  she,  in  a  bustling,  business  way,  but 
with  a  revengeful  sparkle  in  her  eyes. 

"  Of  course    I  do." 

"  Read  that ! "  and  here  she  handed  him  the 
letter  she  had  taken  from  Ezekiel's  coat. 

He  took  and  read  it  carefully  and  without  a 
word.  But  there  was  a  fearful  change  in  the 
expression  of  his  face.  When  he  spoke  again  he 
was  very  calm  —  too  calm ;  and  Mrs.  Pelter  saw 
a  wicked  passion  in  his  eyes. 

"Where  did  you  get  this  letter?"  he  inquired. 

"  I   found   it   in   my   husband's   pocket." 

"  You   must   let   me   have   it." 

"  You  can  have  it,  sir;  I  have  no  further  use  for  it." 


138  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR,   PELTER. 

"I  HAVE!"  said  he;  and  he  spoke  in  such  a 
tone  as  frightened  her.  "  Your  husband,"  he 
continued,  "went  there,  I  suppose  —  went  to  see 
my  wife  —  his  'lamb,'  as  she  calls  herself?" 

"  Oh   yes,    sir." 

"And   they   have  met   each   other   since?" 

"Oh   yes." 

"At   my   house?" 

"  She    came   here   to   see   him    once." 

"Indeed!     What  passed  between  them  here?" 

"  You  can  judge,  perhaps,  when  I  tell  you 
what  I  saw." 

"  What   did   you   see?" 

"  They  were  in  Mr.  Pelter's  little  room  to 
gether,  and  I  went  up  softly  and  opened  the 
door,  and  put  in  my  head " 

"Well?" 

"Well;  he  said,  'Rachel!'  and  with  open 
arms  stepped  up,  when  I  cried  '  PELTER  ! '  and 
frightened  them." 

"Well?" 

"  That 's   all,  sir ;    I   backed   out   again." 

"Woman!"  said  Joseph,  starting  up,  "do  you 
know  Avhat  you  are  saying?" 

"  Why  how  you  look,"  she  answered ;  "  you  're 
enough  to  frighten  one  !  Of  course  I  know  what 
I  am  saying." 

"  Do   you   care   much   for   your   husband  ? " 

"Do   I   care   for  him?" 


TABLEAUX    VIVANTS.  139 

"  Yes.  Would  you  care  much  if  something 
happened  to  him?" 

"How?" 

"  If  he   should   get   hurt !  " 

"  O,  sir !  now  I  understand  you.  Of  course  I 
care  for  him  —  too  much  to  have  him  hurt ! 
He  's  spooney,  sometimes,  but  after  all  he 's  my 
husband." 

"  Then  keep  him  from  my  path !  I  will  not 
look  for  him  —  on  your  account  —  but  let  him 
keep  away  from  me,  or  he  will  get  hurt?" 

"  O,  what  have  I  done?"  cried  Mrs.  Pelter,  in 
alarm.  "You  must  promise  me  — " 

Before  she  could  finish  what  she  was  about  to 
say,  Joseph  was  rushing  from  the  house  on  his 
way  home  again.  No  sooner  was  he  out  of 
sight  than  Mrs.  Pelter  hurried  to  Ezekiel,  and~ 
soon  frightened  him  more  thoroughly  than  she 
was  frightened. 

"  Do  you  know  who  was  here  just  now?" 
she  asked. 

"  Yes,"   he   answered,    "  it   was   Joseph   Smith." 

"  And  you  are  a  lucky  man  to  have  escaped 
him  ! " 

"How?"  asked  Mr.  Pelter,  trembling.  "What 
—  did  —  he  —  w-a-n-t  ?  " 

"  He   wanted   you  !  " 

"Oh,  dear!  Oh,  dear!  what  does  he  want  of 
me?" 


140  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  He  wants  to  punish  you !  He  wants  to  kill 
you  !  " 

Ezekiel  groaned.  His  legs  shook  so  that  he 
could  scarcely  stand. 

"Oh,  wife!"  said  he,  as  he  settled  down  into 
a  chair,  and  turned  his  white,  scared  face  on 
Mrs.  Pelter,  "  if  the  Lord  will  only  save  me 
this  time  I'll  be  a  better  man!  Indeed  —  in 
deed—I  will!" 

"  Keep  away  from  Joseph  Smith,  and  save 
yourself,"  said  she.  "The  Lord  don't  man 
age  our  private  matters ;  He  is  in  better  busi 
ness  ! " 

This  was  the  fear  Avhich,  after  that,  haunted 
Mr.  Pelter  whenever  he  walked  abroad ;  and 
for  which  he  gave  a  different  cause,  in  speaking 
to  the  ladies  of  the  Board. 

When  Joseph  reached  his  house  again,  and 
Rachel  saw  him,  she  knew  that  there  was  some 
desperate  purpose  in  his  mind.  She  could  see 
it  in  every  look  and  motion,  and  before  he  spoke 
a  word.  In  spite  of  every  effort  at  composure, 
she  trembled  as  she  met  him. 

"I  have  the  'key,'"  said  he.  "You  said  the 
'key'  would  explain  it  all,  and  make  it  clear  — 
and  so  it  does!'* 

"What  —  do  —  you  —  mean?"  she  asked,  in  a 
low,  scared  voice. 

"  When,   in    my    perplexity    and    distraction,    I 


TABLEAUX    VIVA  NTS,  141 

asked  you  that  question,  you  refused  to  answer 
me.  I  will  not  refuse  to  answer.  Shame  on 
you !  Shame  !  Shame !  Shame  !  Now  I  see  why 
you  trumped  up  charges  to  worry  me !  It  was 
to  cover  your  short-comings!  Look  at  that!" 

Here  he  threw  down  the  letter  he  had  re 
ceived  from  Mrs.  Pelter,  and  spurned  it  with 
his  foot. 

Rachel  was  so  overpowered  by  astonishment 
that  she  could  not  move. 

"  Look   at   it,   I   say  !  "    continued   he. 

She  stooped  and  picked  up  the  letter,  and 
recognized  it.  She  turned  from  white  to  red, 
and  from  red  to  white. 

"You  are  Mr.  Pelter' s  'lamb,'  are  you?"  he 
commenced  again. 

"  Oh  !  "  she  quickly  cried,  "  that  did  not  refer 
to  me!  It  referred  to  Miranda  Trap!" 

"  Have  done  with  Miranda  Trap ! "  he  thun 
dered.  "  You  have  played  upon  that  string  as 
long  as  it  will  sound  for  you  !  Hear  me  play 
on  it  now,  and  see  if  you  enjoy  the  sound  as 
much  as  /  did!  Was  it  Miranda  Trap  who 
wrote  to  Mr.  Pelter  to  come  to  her  when  her 
husband  was  away,  and  they  would  be  undis 
turbed?  Was  it  Miranda  Trap  before  whom  the 
sanctimonious  lubber  kneeled,  in  this  very  room? 
Was  it  Miranda  Trap  who  even  went  to  visit 
him,  and  who  was  discovered  in  his  room  with 
6* 


142  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

him,  and  whom  he  called  '  Rachel  ! '  as  he 
stretched  out  his  arms  for  an  embrace  ?  Oh,  it 
was  an  oversight  in  you  to  refuse  to  talk  with 
me,  and  to  send  me  hunting  for  an  explanation 
of  my  difficulties  !  " 

Rachel,  with  wild  and  staring  eyes,  stood 
rooted  to  the  spot.  She  could  not  speak ;  she 
tried  to,  but  was  paralyzed.  The  letter  by  itself 
she  might  explain,  but  the  scene  in  Mr.  Pelter's 
room  she  could  not  explain  to  the  satisfaction  of 
a  jealous  and  suspicious  mind.  It  would  support 
the  worst  constructions  of  the  language  of  the 
letter.  After  struggling  for  a  time,  while  he 
intently  watched  her,  she  found  a  voice  to  speak. 
It  was  a  strange,  unnatural  voice,  and  full  of 
agony. 

"  Oh,  Joseph,  strike  me  if  you  will !  Kill  me 
if  you  will !  I  am  not  as  guilty  as  you  think 
me,  but  yet  I  am  not  free  from  guilt!  I  should 
have  been  more  frank  with  you.  Do  what  you 
please ;  say  what  you  please !  In  the  present 
temper  of  our  minds  I  cannot  explain  !  This 
much  I  '11  say  —  and  God  knows  I  speak  the 
truth  —  I  am  better,  far  better,  than  you  think 
me ;  though  not  so  good  as  I  profess  to  be  ! " 

Her  evident  distress  touched  Joseph's  magnan 
imity,  and  he  replied : 

"  Let   us   drop    the    subject   for   the   present." 

Rachel  was  quick  to  accept  the  proffered  truce, 


TABLEAUX    VI V ANTS.  143 

and  for  the  time  the  warfare  was  suspended. 
Then  Joseph  left  the  house  again  to  go  where 
business  duties  called  him. 

Rachel's  reflections  were  very  bitter.  In  spite 
of  his  supposed  misconduct,  and  what  she  re 
garded  as  the  conclusive  proof  of  it,  he  held  her 
at  advantage  by  his  discovery  of  her  imprudence. 
Mr.  Pelter  was  the  only  witness  as  to  Joseph's 
infidelity,  and  now  he  would  be  discredited  and 
made  to  appear  a  dishonorable  conspirator.  Jo 
seph  still  denied  his  guilt,  and  could  continue 
to  successfully  deny  it,  unless  the  proof  was 
stronger. 

"If  I  could  only  catch  them  !  And  I  will 
if  such  a  thing  is  possible,"  she  said. 

To  accomplish  this,  it  would  be  itecessary  to 
communicate  again  with  Mr.  Pelter ;  for  he  was 
the  only  one  who  knew  and  could  identify  the 
woman.  As  she  thought  of  this,  she  felt  inclined 
at  first  to  abandon  the  attempt ;  for  if  Joseph 
should  discover  another  private  meeting  with 
Mr.  Pelter,  her  case  would  be  a  desperate  one. 
u  But,"  she  reflected,  "it  is  desperate  now,  and 
I  must  take  the  risk." 

She  could  not  go  again  to  Mr.  Pelter's  house, 
and  she  did  not  dare  to  Avrite  to  him  ;  but  she 
could  arrange  to  meet  him  at  the  ladies'  rooms, 
and  this,  at  length,  she  determined  on. 


CHAPTER    VII. 

JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH    TEMPTATION. 

RACHEL  would  not  be  precipitate.  Joseph 
might  admit  his  guilt,  and  render  further  es 
pionage  unnecessary. 

But,  as  days  passed  by,  he  did  not  confess,  nor 
in  any  way  refer  to  the  charges  made.  Evi 
dently  he  expected  her  to  speak,  and  when  she 
continued  silent,  he  grew  colder  and  more  dis 
tant.  She  would  not  speak  until  she  could  con 
found  him  by  her  personal  observations.  She  felt 
quite  certain  of  finding  him  with  the  suspected 
woman  before  very  long,  for  she  concluded  that 
he  must  manage  somehow  to  divide  his  time 
between  them  ;  and  she  thought  when  he  told 
one  that  he  was  at  the  factory,  he  was  really 
with  the  other. 

So  matters  rested  until  Ezekiel's  scratches 
healed,  and  he  had  made  his  astonishing  report 
to  the  ladies'  Board. 

Shortly  after  this,  Rachel,  through  the  ladies  of 
the  Board,  arranged  to  meet  Ezekiel  at  the  ladies' 

144 


JOSEPH  WRESTLES  WITH  TEMPTATION.    145 

rooms.  When  they  met,  she  urged  him  to  con 
tinue  his  investigations.  Up  to  this  time,  as  has 
been  already  shown,  the  call  of  duty  was  to  Mr. 
Pelter  like  a  bugle-call  to  battle  in  a  veteran 
army ;  but  now  the  call  was  drowned  in  the 
louder  cry  of  fear,  and  he  Avas  not  so  ready  as 
before  to  confront  the  wrath  of  Joseph,  even  with 
his  Christian  armor  on.  But  after  much  persua 
sion,  he  finally  consented;  for  in  spite  of  all  his 
fears,  he  had  great  confidence  in  his  dodging 
capabilities.  It  was  arranged  that  on  the  follow 
ing  day,  at  a  certain  hour,  Rachel  should  meet 
him  on  Broadway  in  a  hired  carriage.  The  place 
agreed  upon  was  near  where  Ezekiel  had  pre 
viously  encountered  Julia,  when  she  was  engaged 
in  shopping.  And  the  carriage  was  to  be  a  hired 
one,  that  it  might  be  less  likely  to  attract  atten 
tion  than  her  own  if  Joseph  should  appear.  It 
was  thought  to  be  quite  likely  that  Julia  would 
be  found  again  engaged  in  shopping  there  ;  and 
if  she  was  not,  then  they  could  drive  to  the 
neighborhood  where  Julia  lived,  and  arrange  for 
observations  from  that  locality. 

On  the  following  day,  as  the  appointed  hour 
drew  near,  the  Fates  seemed  all  propitious. 
Ezekiel,  in  his  impatience,  arrived  in  advance  of 
the  hour  named ;  and  it  was  fortunate  that  it 
so  happened.  He  had  hardly  reached  the  place, 
when  he  saw  Joseph  coming  from  the  opposite 


146  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

direction.  He  dodged  and  skipped  with  great 
agility,  until  he  had  crossed  the  street ;  then  he 
very  quickly  turned  around  and  saw  Joseph  en 
ter  a  shop  opposite,  where  gentlemen's  clothing 
was  kept  for  sale.  He  did  not  come  out  imme 
diately,  and  while  Ezekiel  watched  the  door  Ra 
chel  drove  up  in  her  hired  carriage. 

Mr.  Pelter,  now  protected  by  the  intervening 
carriage,  hurried  back  across  the  street,  and  from 
the  street-side  of  the  carriage  gave  Rachel  warn 
ing  of  Joseph's  presence.  With  a  sudden  start, 
and  quivering  from  excitement,  she  let  fall  the 
carriage  curtain,  and  invited  Mr.  Pelter  to  a  seat 
beside  her.  He  lost  no  time  in  taking  it.  Look 
ing  from  a  little  peep-hole,  which  they  very  soon 
arranged,  at  the  side  of  the  carriage  curtain, 
they  watched  the  door  for  Joseph's  re-appearance. 

He  soon  came  out,  dressed  cap-a-pie  in  a  new 
and  becoming  suit  of  clothes ;  even  his  hat  was 
new.  They  were  so  engaged  in  seeing  this  that 
they  did  not  notice  that  at  the  very  moment 
another  carriage  came,  and  stopped  immediately 
in  front  of  them,  and  very  near ;  nor  did  they 
notice  that  a  comely  and  smiling  woman  called 
out  from  the  other  carriage,  and  made  Joseph 
look  that  way.  They  saw  Joseph  turn  and  stop. 
Then  they  looked  to  see  what  had  stopped  him. 
Their  carriage  front  Avas  slightly  turned  toward 
the  street,  and  the  other  carriage  was  squarely  at 


JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH    TEMPTATION.    147 

the  curb-stone,  and  could  be  seen  from  the  little 
peep-hole. 

The  other  carriage  was  a  handsome  one  and 
arranged  in  open  style ;  and  they  saw  a  lady  in 
it,  beckoning  to  Joseph.  Rachel's  eyes  were  wide 
with  wonder  as  she  took  in  the  sight,  and  called 
Ezekiel's  attention  to  it. 

"  Bless  me  ! "  he  cried,  with  a  sudden  start. 
"It  is  — .  the —  v-e-r-y  —  woo-man  I  " 

They   could   hear   her   as    she   spoke   to   Joseph. 

"  Come !  Get  in  and  go  with  me  ! "  said  she. 
"  I  Avill  bring  you  back  after  luncheon,  if  you 
wish  it.  I  want  to  talk  with  you  a  moment." 

Joseph  hesitated,  and  even  seemed  to  be  pro 
testing.  But  she  would  not  listen  to  him,  and 
at  last  he  did  get  in,  and  the  handsome  car 
riage  turned  and  drove  away. 

Rachel,  with  a  white,  stern  face  and  com 
pressed  lips,  called  sharply  to  the  driver  and 
ordered  him  to  drive  after  them.  And  so  he  did. 

"  I  want  you  to  go  and  lunch  with  me  to 
day,"  said  Julia,  as  she  and  Joseph  drove  away. 
Then,  looking  in  his  face,  she  added :  "  Why, 
you  look  as  solemn  as  a  funeral!  Somehow  — 
though  how  I  cannot  say  exactly  —  but  somehoiv, 
you  look  almost  strange  to  me.  Perhaps  it 's 
that  new  suit  of  clothes  and  a  different  hat." 

Joseph  was  too  full  of  speculations  and  grow 
ing  curiosity  to  reply  at  once.  "  She  must  know 


148  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

me  well,"  he  thought,  "  to  notice  that  I  have 
another  suit  of  clothes  and  a  different  hat." 

Julia  kept  her  smiling  eyes  upon  him,  and  lie 
began  to  feel  the  fascinating  spell ;  perhaps  he 
made  no  effort  to  resist  it.  The  contrast,  cer 
tainly,  between  this  face  and  Rachel's  was  most 
striking,  and  Joseph  now  was  suffering  from  a 
vacuum. 

But  why  did  she  call  him  ?  What  did  she 
want  ?  At  first  he  thought  that  she  had  some 
business  inquiries  to  make,  and  that  being  on 
the  street,  and  in  her  carriage,  it  was  natural 
to  call  him  there.  But  when  she  talked  simply 
of  taking  him  to  luncheon,  and  spoke  not  a  word 
of  business,  he  was  puzzled  and  uneasy.  What 
if  lie  had  been  entrapped  by  a  charmer  of  the 
demi-monde?  Inwardly  he  thanked  his  lucky  stars 
that  Rachel  could  not  get  hold  of  this. 

"  Why  don't  you  answer  me?"  Julia  asked. 
"  You  look  worried  !  What  troubles  you  ? " 

"  Oh,"  said  Joseph,  reminded  by  the  question 
of  his  domestic  troubles,  "  the  very  mischief 
seems  to  be  in  everything!  I  almost  wish  that 
I  was  dead  !  " 

"  Cheer  up  ! "  said  Julia.  "  In  this  sad  mood 
you  are  not  like  yourself.  Even  your  voice 
sounds  strange.  Tell  me  what  troubles  you,  and 
it  will  be  curious  if  we  do  not  make  the  troubles 
fly!" 


JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH   TEMPTATION.     149 

AVith.  this,  she  put  her  little  hand  on  his  — 
caressingly  —  and  gave  him  such  a  tender  smile 
as  made  him  glow,  in  spite  of  all  his  stoicism. 
In  all  of  his  experience  he  had  never  been  so 
tempted  as  at  the  present  moment.  Prudence 
admonished  him  to  stop,  and  to  leave  this  dan 
gerous  enchantress.  Then  Temptation  had  a 
score  of  ready  answers,  and  even  ridiculed  his 
fears. 

"  Have  you  not  sufficient  strength,"  Tempta 
tion  said,  "  to  keep  yourself  from  harm  ?  What 
is  the  value  of  your  virtuous  maxims  if  they  can 
not  support  you  in  an  affair  so  trivial  ?  If  she 
goes  too  far,  then  stop ;  but  do  not  be  fright 
ened  in  advance." 

All  this  had  a  sound  of  reason ;  and  if  Joseph 
saw  no  sophistry,  let  it  be  remembered  that  there 
was  a  spell  upon  him. 

If  objectors  would  sit  in  judgment  on  him,  let 
them  first  surround  the  judgment-seat  with  such 
witching  eyes  as  Julia  had.  It  was  a  happy 
thought  to  put  a  bandage  on  the  eyes  of  Justice. 

Then  came  other  stumbling-blocks  in  Joseph's 
way  to  trip  up  his  virtuous  feet.  Rachel  had 
destroyed  the  comforts  of  his  home,  and  fairly 
driven  him  to  seek  agreeable  society  abroad ;  if 
he  found  agreeable  society,  why  should  he  not 
en'oy  it,  so  long  as  he  did  not  go  too  far?  He 
would  not  go  too  far ! 


150  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

But  he  had  already  gone  too  far ;  when  lie 
argued  with  temptation,  lie  was  then  undone.  He 
should  have  said,  "  Behind  me  !  " 

When  Julia  touched  his  hand,  and  gave  him 
such  a  smile,  he  made  no  attempt  to  hold  back 
the  sudden  tide  of  pleasure  which  gulped  him 
in  its  amorous  flood.  It  was  the  old,  old  story. 
He  did  not  stop  to  think  that  turtle-doves,  like 
other  birds,  are  poisoned  by  the  exhalations  from 
the  waters  of  Avernus. 

Seeing  that  Joseph  did  not  seem  inclined  to 
tell  her  of  his  troubles  now,  Julia  resolved  to 
wait  until  they  could  sit  down  at  home,  and 
have  sufficient  time  for  a  full  discussion.  She 
wondered  what  the  trouble  was  a  hundred  times, 
but  she  did  not  ask  again. 

At  length  she  said,  thinking  to  turn  the  cur 
rent  of  his  thoughts  : 

"  I  had  an  object  in  bringing  you  with  me  to 
day  ;  and  it  is  a  selfish  one  —  as  usual,  perhaps." 

"  Now,"  thought  Joseph,  "  she  is  coming  to 
her  business,  after  all.  I  shall  be  glad  to  know 
what  I  am  about,  for  I  began  to  fear  that  she 
would  muddle  me  as  much  as  Rachel  did." 

"  I  want  you,"  continued  she,  "  to  get  some 
tickets  for  the  theater  to-night ;  if  we  wait  till 
evening  the  best  seats  will  be  taken ;  you  can 
get  them  after  lunch.  Several  of  my  friends  are 
going,  and  I  told  them  that  I  would  go." 


JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH    TEMPTATION,    151 

Joseph  was  shocked.  He  was  one  of  those  who 
profess  to  think  that  theaters  are  but  the  gilded 
gateways  to  perdition;  and  it  was  not  strange 
that  he  experienced  a  virtuous  recoil  as  he  listen 
ed  to  this  proposition,  and  thought  of  being  seen 
in  such  a  place  with  this  strange  and  handsome 
woman.  "  What  would  the  brethren  and  the  sis 
ters  say  ?  And  what  would  Rachel  say  ? "  In 
truth,  with  him,  as  with  very  many  others  of  like 
pretensions,  the  thought  of  what  might  be  said 
had  greater  force  by  far  than  the  restraints  of 
conscience  ;  but  it  contributed  to  his  self-right 
eousness  to  put  it  on  his  conscience,  and  so  he  did. 

"  Impossible  !  "  he  answered.  "  Impossible  !  I 
could  not  think  of  such  a  thing !  " 

Julia's  rosy  lips  were  made  for  pouts  as  well 
as  smiles,  and  she  pouted  now  most  decidedly. 

"  Very  well,  sir,  —  very  well !  "  she  answered, 
in  a  pet. 

After  this,  the  silence  was  unbroken  until  they 
reached  the  house.  Joseph  at  once  observed  that 
the  house  was  in  a  respectable,  and  even  fashion 
able,  locality.  Before  reaching  it  he  had  deter 
mined  that  he  would  not  go  in,  but  when  he 
saw  the  stamp  of  respectability  on  its  front,  he 
thought  that  he  would  not  be  compromised  if 
he  did  go  in.  He  did  go  in.  He  followed  Julia 
like  one  walking  in  a  sleep,  until  she  reached 
her  boudoir;  here  she  turned  to  him  and  said: 


152  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Forget  my  pet,  and  forgive  me,  dear,  while 
I  go  in  and  change  my  dress.  No  matter  about 
the  theater ;  I  should  have  thought  of  your 
annoyances.'7 

Before  Joseph  could  recover  from  his  inde 
scribable  astonishment,  she  retreated,  looking  back 
and  smiling  as  she  went  —  to  a  sleeping-room  and 
closed  the  door.  Joseph  felt  the  power  of  her 
charms,  and  feared  if  she  returned  to  the  assault 
that  he  could  not  resist  it.  Besides,  if  she  was 
what  she  ouyht  to  be,  how  could  she  address  him 
as  she  did,  and  receive  him  —  a  stranger  —  in 
her  boudoir  ? 

It  will  be  remembered,  that  in  his  early  days 
—  and  before  he  went  to  sea  —  he  had  resolved 
that  in  such  a  situation  he  would  prove  his 
strength.  Here  was  the  first  occasion  ever  offered 
for  the  actual  test. 

"  She  is  another  Mrs.  Potiphar ! "  said  Joseph 
to  himself,  "  and  I  will  fly  ! " 

He  sat  down  carefully,  and  drew  off  his  boots; 
with  these  in  hand  he  rose,  and  with  noise 
less  steps,  approached  the  door.  Very  softly  he 
unlatched  the  door  and  opened  it :  and  then,  on 
noiseless  toes,  he  stole  cautiously  away.  In  the 
vestibule  below  he  pulled  on  his  boots,  and  then 
made  boldly  for  the  outer  door. 

A  servant  saw  him  as  he  tip-toed  through  the 
hall,  with  his  boots  in  hand,  and  she  informed 


She  retreated,  looking  back,  and  smiling  as  bhe  went  to  a 
sleeping  room." 


JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH   TEMPTATION.    155 

another  servant,  and  both  hastened  to  a  window 
to  see  what  he  was  about. 

Juliay  hearing  the  sound  of  carriage  wheels 
directly  after,  hurried  to  her  window. 

Rachel  did  not  once  lose  sight  of  Julia's  car 
riage  until  it  drew  up  at  Julia's  door,  and  had 
left  its  occupants  and  driven  off.  While  Julia 
and  Joseph  were  getting  out  and  walking  up  the 
steps,  Rachel  stopped.  When  she  saw  them  en 
ter  she  started  on,  and  drove  slowly  past  the 
house  and  fixed  it  in  her  mind.  After  she  had 
passed  a  little  distance,  she  had  her  carriage  turn 
to  the  most  favorable  position,  and  then  she 
stopped  to  watch. 

It  was  growing  very  warm  for  Mr.  Pelter  now, 
and  he  began  to  perspire  freely ;  the  prospect 
of  confronting  Joseph  was  too  much  for  him,  and 
his  courage  began  to  ooze  away.  Rachel  was  so 
entirely  absorbed  in  other  things  that  she  did 
not  observe  his  perturbation.  Her  face  had  never 
been  so  hard  as  now,  nor  her  look  so  keen  ;  but 
there  was  no  other  object  for  that  look  so  keen 
'than  Julia's  door. 

Mr.  Pelter  grew  more  restless  and  excited  with 
every  passing  moment ;  and  when  it  seemed  that 
Joseph  might  appear,  before  he  could  escape,  his 
fear  found  tongue.  He  entreated  Rachel  to  re 
lease  him  while  he  had  a  chance  for  safety ;  and 
had  she  looked  around,  she  would  have  been 


156  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

astonished   at   that    frightened    face   on   one    who 
had   claimed   to   be   so   valiant. 

With  her  eyes  on  Julia's  door,  and  without 
moving  from  her  fixed  position,  she  answered  in 
a  strange,  unnatural  tone  :  "  Go  !  " 

With  a  sigh  of  infinite  relief,  the  good  man 
wiped  his  face  again,  and  prepared  to  go.  As 
he  rose  up  and  put  his  foot  upon  the  carriage 
step,  he  looked  back  across  his  shoulder,  and 
quickly  asked: 

"  Will   you  come   to  the  ladies'   rooms  ? " 

She  did  not  answer  —  she  did  not  seem  to  hear 
him  —  and  her  eyes  were  fixed  on  Julia's  door. 

So  Mr.  Pelter  left  her.  He  hurried  to  the 
pavement  on  the  other  side  from  Julia's  house, 
and  had  almost  reached  a  point  directly  oppo 
site,  when  he  saw  the  hall  door  open  and  Jo 
seph  Smith  step  out.  At  the  very  instant,  he 
heard  the  crack  of  the  driver's  whip  and  the 
sound  of  rapid  carriage  wheels  behind.  He 
looked  behind,  and  saw  Rachel's  carriage  dash 
ing  up.  He  looked  across,  and  saw  Joseph 
watching  him  as  he  came  down  the  steps.  With 
terror  in  his  face,  and  a  sudden  bound,  he  ran, 
with  Fear  upon  his  flying  heels.  As  he  ran,  he 
turned  his  head  at  nearly  every  step  to  see  if 
he  was  pursued.  So,  running  and  looking  back, 
he  soon  passed  out  of  sight. 

When    Joseph    turned    from    watching   him   he 


JOSEPH   WRESTLES    WITH   TEMPTATION.     157 

saw  Rachel's  carriage,  now  drawn  up  in  front 
of  him ;  he  also  saw  her  stern  white  face  at  the 
carriage  window.  Then  he  saw  her  beckon  to 
him,  and  ivith  a  guilty  look  he  stepped  toward 
the  carriage. 

Rachel  did  not  speak  at  first,  but  her  look 
was  more  than  words.  Not  until  he  reached  the 
carriage  did  she  speak,  and  then  she  said : 

"Get   in!" 

Without  a  word,  and  looking  utterly  con 
founded,  he  opened  the  door,  stepped  in,  and 
sat  down  beside  her. 

"Drive  home ! "  said  Rachel  to  the  driver. 
And  they  drove  away. 

All  this  Julia  saw  from  her  chamber  window, 
and  the  servants  saw  it  from  below. 

"  Why,  that  man  looked  like  John ! "  said  Julia 
to  herself.  And  then  she  hurried  to  the  boudoir. 
John  was  not  there  ;  nor  was  Joseph  there.  She 
pulled  a  bell-cord,  and  when  a  servant  came  she 
asked  : 

"  Where   is   my   husband  ? " 

"  He  's   gone    out,    ma'am." 

"Where?" 

"  Do  n't  know,  ma'am ;    but  't  was  very  queer." 

"What   was    queer?" 

"Why  his  walkin'  out  so  —  in  his  stockin'  feet 
—  walkin'    on    his    toes  —  with    his 
hand." 


158  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PALTER. 

44  What   do   you  mean?" 

"  That's   all   ma'am  —  that's   all   I   seen." 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  saw  my  hus 
band —  in  his  stocking-feet — walking  on  tip-toe 
through  the  house  —  with  his  boots  in  hand?" 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

Julia   was   stunned. 

"  You  may  go,"  said  she ;  and  the  servant 
went  away. 

tk  I  saw  that  crazy  Pelter  across  the  street, 
running  as  if  pursued  by  the  seven  devils ! " 
reflected  Julia.  "  What  was  he  running  for?  At 
the  sight  of  John,  no  doubt.  But  why  should 
lie  run  at  the  sight  of  John  ?  And  who  was 
that  white-faced  woman  sitting  in  the  carriage  ? 
And  why  did  John  drive  away  with  her  ?  Why 
did  he  not  speak  to  me  about  it  ?  Why  did  he 
steal  away?  That  looks  suspicious!" 

Such  were  Julia's  first  reflections.  Then  she 
sat  down  to  collect  her  wits  and  search  for 
some  reasonable  explanation.  In  doing  this,  she 
searched  her  place  for  curiosities,  and  Mr.  Pel 
ter  now  appeared  in  her  mental  panorama. 

He  seemed  singularly  associated  with  all  of  her 
perplexities.  Was  he  really  crazy  ?  Was  not  this 
white-faced  woman  the  one  referred  to  by  this 
strange  man  in  their  street  encounter?  Might 
not  she  be  the  "other  wife"  of  whom  he  spoke 
to  Thomas  ?  She  must  have  some  strong  hold 


JOSEPH    WRESTLES    WITH   TEMPTATION.     159 

on  John,  to  take  him  from  her  very  arms  al 
most  ! 

Such  were  Julia's  more  deliberate  reflections ; 
and  the  more  she  thought,  the  more  perplexities 
beset  her.  At  last  she  started  up,  with  a  sudden 
resolution. 

"  If  John  can  not  explain  all  this  —  and  to  my 
satisfaction  —  I  will  find  this  Pelter  and  examine 
him !  But  John  can  and  will  explain  it !  He  is 
not  a  man  to  prove  unfaithful !  Yet  why  did  lie 
steal  away  ?  That  is  the  strangest  thing. 

She  was  determined,  whatever  her  suspicions, 
not  to  form  an  adverse  judgment  before  John 
could  have  a  hearing.  With  this  final  resolu 
tion,  she  engaged  herself  in  her  affairs. 

It  was  not  very  far  to  Joseph's  house,  and  until 
they  reached  it  neither  he  nor  Rachel  spoke. 
When  they  were  in  the  house,  Rachel  turned 
on  Joseph,  and  with  a  sneer  inquired : 

"  Can  you  explain  the  business  of  this  factory?" 

Joseph   made  no  reply. 

"At  last!"  said  she,  "I  have  caught  you, 
where  even  your  brazen  face  can  not  support 
you  in  denial !  " 

"Rachel!"  said  Joseph,  most  dejectedly,  "give 
me  a  little  time  to  collect  myself.  I  have  been 
walking  in  the  mists  so  Ion  of  that  I  can  not 

O  O 

make  things  clear,  even  to  myself — much  less  to 
you." 

7 


1GO  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

44  I  saw  her  when  she  called  you  to  her  car 
riage,"  answered  Rachel ;  "  and  after  that  I  fol 
lowed  you.  Bear  that  in  mind  when  you  collect 
yourself,  and  clear  it  all ! " 

Joseph,  with  a  baffled  look,  went  to  another 
room. 

"  He  ?11  talk  no  more  to  me  of  my  suspicious 
letter,  or  of  Mr.  Pelter  on  his  knees!"  said 
Rachel,  with  a  flash  of  triumph. 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

THE     IMP     OF     DISCORD. 

AT  the  usual  dinner-hour  John  came  home. 
Julia  met  him  as  she  always  did,  but  there  was 
inquiry  in  her  eyes. 

"Where    are   your   new   clothes?"    she   asked. 

"What?"    he  answered. 

"  Why  did  you  not  bring  home  your  clothes  ? " 

"What  clothes?" 

"  Why,    the    ones   you    wore   this   morning ! " 

"  These   are   the   ones   I   wore    this   morning." 

"No,    they're   not!" 

"What's   in   your   head?" 

"  Well,  well ;  no  matter  now.  Tell  me  where 
you  went  when  you  left  me  here." 

"  Why,   I  went  down   town  as  usual." 

"  No,  no !  Not  when  you  first  went  down ; 
but  after  I  had  brought  you  home  to  lunch!" 

"After  you  had  brought  me  home  to  lunch!" 
repeated  John,  with  much  astonishment,  and  look 
ing  at  his  wife. 

"  Yes.  And  tell  me  who  that  lady  was  who 
took  you  in  the  carriage  with  her." 


o 
161 


162  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"What  sort  of  quizzing  are  you  at?"  asked 
John ;  now  thinking  that  his  wife  was  bent  on 
some  amusement. 

Julia  was  impatient  at  what  seemed  John's 
ittempt  to  avoid  the  subject,  and  she  continued, 
\vith  a  serious  look :  "  Come,  John !  Tell  me 
now.  And  tell  me  why  you  took  off  your  boots 
and  stole  away  while  I  was  dressing." 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!  ho!  ho!  ho!"  laughed  John. 
"  Go  on  !  That 's  good  !  Took  off  my  boots,  and 
stole  away  while  you  were  dressing ! " 

Julia  did  not  join  in  his  amusement,  but  on  the 
contrary  grew  more  serious;  and  John  soon  noticed  it. 

"  Why,  Julia,  what 's  the  matter  with  you  ? 
You.  are  as  incomprehensible  as  Pelter ! " 

"  Yes ;  and  why  was  Mr.  Pelter  here  ?  And 
what  did  he  run  away  for  ? " 

John  smiled  and  answered :  u  Has  that  crazy 
fellow  been  around  again  ?  By  my  faith !  Un 
less  you  begin  to  speak  more  seriously,  I  shall 
think  that  lunacy  is  infectious,  and  that  Pelter's 
breath  has  charged  the  air.  Come,  now !  be 
serious,  and  tell  me  what  you  're  at ! " 

"  John ! "  said  Julia,  now  really  angry,  and 
flushing  as  she  spoke,  "  do  n't  treat  me  in  this 
manner !  You  know  yourself  that,  to  say  the 
least,  your  actions  were  very  singular ;  especially 
your  stealing  off  on  tip-toe,  and  in  your  stock 
ing-feet,  with  your  boots  in  hand ! " 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  .163 

John  could  not  restrain  another  laugh  at  this, 
and  Julia  was  enraged. 

"Why,  wife,"  said  John,  not  knowing  what  to 
think,  "  you  speak  and  look  as  though  you 
might  be  in  sober  earnest ! " 

"  I  am  in  sober  earnest,  John ! "  said  Julia, 
almost  ready  now  to  cry.  "And  —  I  think  —  you 
are  —  too  lad  !  " 

"  Stealing  off  on  tip-toe  —  and  in  my  stocking- 
feet  !  "  repeated  John,  and  his  laughter  threat 
ened  to  break  out  again,  at  the  outre  figure  in 
his  mind. 

"  Why,  my  dear,"  said  he,  "  how  could  I  ever 
do  a  thing  so  perfectly  ridiculous  ?  And  what 
object  could  I  have  in  cutting  sucli  a  figure?" 

"  Do  you  deny  it  ? "  asked  Julia,  in  great  sur 
prise. 

"  Of  course  I  do  !  Who  told  you  such  a 
story?" 

"  Well,  I  did.  not  see  you  in  that  condition, 
but  I  did  see  you  in  other  situations ;  and  these 
you  cannot  deny." 

"What   other   situations?" 

"  Well,  for  one,  with  the  woman  in  the  car 
riage  at  the  door." 

"  What   woman  ?     What   carriage  ?  " 

"  You  seem  determined  to  provoke  me  !  You 
know  that  I  am  speaking  of  the  woman  who 
took  you  off  with  her!" 


164  -  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

"When?" 

"To-day!" 

44  Why,  Julia,  what 's  the  matter  with  you  ?  I 
have  not  been  off  with  any  woman  in  a  carriage." 

44  But  I  saw  you  !  " 

44  It   is  infectious,  I   believe  ! " 

44  What?" 

44  Pelter's   lunacy." 

Julia  was  furious  now,  and  her  eyes  snapped 
fire. 

u  Perhaps  you  will  deny  that  you  came  home 
with  me?" 

44  When  ?  " 

44  To-day !  " 

44  How  ?  " 

44  In   the    carriage  !  " 

44  Of  course  I  do  deny  it,  since  it 's  not  the 
fact." 

44  And  I  did  not  ask  you  to  take  me  to  the 
theater  to-night?" 

44 1  never  heard  of  it  before.  I  shall  be  very 
glad  to  take  you  there  to-night,  or  any  other 
night  when  you  wish  to  go." 

4i  What  makes  you  so  provoking,  John  ?  You 
do  not  tell  me  —  seriously,  and  to  my  face  — 
that  you  deny  these  things  ? " 

44  Most  certainly  I  do !  Your  talk  is  all  as 
obscure  to  me  as  the  inscriptions  on  Egyptian 
monuments." 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  165 

"  That 's  all  the  explanation  you  intend  to  give 
me,  is  it !  " 

"  It 's   all    I   have    to   give." 

"  Then  you  intend  to  face  me  down,  and  openly 
deny  what  transpired  before  my  very  eyes  ?  " 

"  There  is  some  mistake  !  You  did  not  see 
me,  Julia,  as  you  say." 

"  Enough  of  this!"  said  Julia,  with  a  look  of 
dignity.  "  I  find  that  I  have  been  mistaken  in 
your  character." 

Then  turning  on  him,  writh  a  frown  he  had 
never  seen  before,  she  added  :  "  Be  careful,  John, 
be  very  careful !  I  am  not  a  woman  to  be 
trifled  with,  and  you  will  find  it  so!" 

John  was  so  astonished  by  her  tone  and  anger, 
that  he  did  not  think  of  stopping  her  as  she 
now  swept  proudly  from  the  room. 

"  Well !  upon  my  word  ! "  he  soliloquized, 
"  This  has  a  more  serious  look  than  I  expected ! 
What  curious  fancies  Julia  has !  And  how  they 
seem  to  have  fixed  themselves !  They  are  like 
the  phantasies  of  lunacy!  And  she  clings  to  them 
like  a  madman  to  his  vagaries !  No  sane  mind 
could  ever  form  an  image  so  superlatively  ridicu 
lous  as  that  of  my  stealing  from  my  house  on  tip 
toe,  and  in  my  stocking  feet,  with  my  boots  in 
hand !  Can  it  be  possible  that  what  I  spoke  in 
jest  is  true,  and  that  this  is  incipient  madness  ? 
It  may  result  from  nervous  excitation !  but  I 


166  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

never  dreamed  that  Julia  was  so  nervous  !  O, 
Julia!  The  apple  of  my  eye!  My  soul's  delight! 
The  object  of  my  constant  and  increasing  love ! 
Can  it  be  possible  that  some  sudden  and  dis 
tressful  blight  has  touched  your  mind,  and  that 
all  your  sparkling  wit  has  turned  to  inane  phan 
tasies?" 

The  very  thought  of  such  a  thing  distressed 
him  so  acutely  that  he  could  think  of  nothing 
but  some  soothing  panacea.  He  resolved  to 
humor,  rather  than  to  contradict,  her  whims,  un 
til,  from  a  more  thorough  observation,  he  could 
satisfy  himself  as  to  her  real  condition.  With 
this  determination,  he  went  out  after  her.  He 
found  her  sitting  in  another  room,  Avith  her 
head  bowed  on  a  table,  and  sobbing  convulsively. 
The  sight  touched  John  as  no  other  sight  could 
touch  him  ;  and  he  went  up  to  her,  and  stooped 
down  and  kissed  her  hair. 

"  Come,  Julia,  my  darling  wife !  Do  not  give 
way !  Look  up,  and  speak  to  me  again !  I  '11 
admit  it  all !  Come  now  !  " 

"  You  admit  it,  do  you  ? "  cried  Julia,  quickly 
lifting  up  her  head.  "  Now  explain  it  to  me  !  " 

"  First,    compose   yourself,"    said    John. 

Julia  rose  up  in  a  blaze  of  jealous  passion, 
and  retorted :  "  You  are  a  sailor,  and  have  often 
seen  the  lashes  of  the  wind  goad  on  the  swell 
ing  waves  to  fury !  Did  you  ever  try  to  calm 


THE   IMP   OF  DISCORD.  167 

them,  when  they  seemed  almost  to  reach  the 
stars,  by  saying  'compose  yourselves'?" 

She  was  wrought  up  to  actual  frenzy,  and 
John  regarded  her  with  a  graver,  sadder,  and 
more  compassionate  expression.  He  did  not  know 
what  to  say  to  satisfy  and  calm  her. 

"  Did  you,  I  say,"  she  again  broke  forth, 
"  ever  try  to  still  the  waves  —  or  even  dream 
that  such  a  thing  was  possible — by  saying  calmly, 
4  compose  yourselves  '  ?  " 

"  No,"    John   answered. 

"  It  would  have  seemed  like  folly,  would  it 
not?" 

"Yes." 

"  When  you  can  control  the  coursers  of  the 
wind  by  the  bridle  cf  your  tongue,  then  come 
to  me  with  such  a  tranquilizer  as  '  compose 
yourself!'  Explanation  is  what  I  ask!  and  that 
is  the  only  thing  !  " 

"  When  I  deny,"  said  John,  speaking  uncon- 
ciously,  "  she  is  enraged ;  when  I  confess  she  is 
absolutely  furious !  I  begin  to  think  that  my 
fears  are  too  well  founded,  and  that  she  is  really 
going  mad !  " 

"  Ha !  ha !  ha ! "  laughed  Julia  in  derision. 
"  That 's  the  way  you  turn  it  now !  Mad !  Ha ! 
ha!  ha!" 

More  convinced  than  ever  by  her  wild,  unna 
tural  look  and  laugh,  and  unable  to  control  his 
7* 


168  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.    PELTER. 

own  emotion,  he  hurried  from  the  room  to  con 
ceal  his  tears. 

"  He  refuses,  even  yet  !  "  said  Julia,  now  de 
fiant,  "  and  in  the  very  presence  of  my  anguish, 
to  explain  himself !  Now  I  believe  that  he  can 
not  explain  himself!  I  will  find  that  Mr.  Pelter !  " 

If  Julia  had  really  been  demented,  she  could 
not  have  been  more  entirely  possessed  by  the 
fancies  of  her  mind  than  she  appeared  to  be 
when  John  next  saw  her ;  and  John  could  not 
have  looked  more  sorrowful  and  broken  had  he 
seen  the  actual  wreck  of  what  was  dearer  to 
him  than  his  life.  He  resolved  to  consult  some 
eminent  authority,  and  see  if  something  could  not 
be  done  to  restore  her  faculties. 

So  the  evening  and  the  anxious,  sleepless  night 
passed  by.  On  the  following  morning  the  situ 
ation  was  unchanged,  and  John  even  hastened 
from  the  house,  so  great  was  his  anxiety  for  a 
consultation. 

Julia  was  glad  to  see  him  go  so  soon,  for  she 
was  anxious  to  commence  her  search  for  Mr. 
Pelter.  She  ordered  the  carriage,  and  at  once 
commenced  to  dress.  When  she  was  read}',  the 
carriage  was  waiting  at  the  door.  She  went  out, 
and  as  she  took  her  seat,  said  to  the  coachman : 

"  Thomas,   I   must   find   that   queer   man  Pelter 

-the    man    you    caught    in    the    barrel-trap.      I 

don't  know  who  he  is,  or  where  he  is,  and  wish 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  169 

you  to  make  some  inquiries.  If  you  see  him  on 
the  street  as  you  drive  along,  let  me  know. 
His  name  is  Pelter.*' 

With  this  they  started  off.  They  did  not  see 
Ezekiel  on  the  street,  but  when  they  commenced 
to  make  their  inquiries  at  different  business  places, 
they  found  that  Mr.  Pelter  was  not  unknown. 
Some  of  the  places  where  they  inquired  had  been 
deluged  with  his  tracts  and  charity  appeals,  and 
he  seemed  to  have  been  entirely  impartial  in  his 
visits  to  them  all ;  consistency,  in  this  respect, 
was  one  of  Ezekiel's  virtues,  and  no  one  could 
complain  of  his  neglect.  Several  of  tliose  who 
knew  the  man  did  not  know  his  place  of  resi 
dence  or  where  he  could  be  found ;  but  finally, 
one  suggested  the  Ladies'  Missionary  Board. 
With  this  to  guide  her  in  her  inquiries,  she  soon 
found  out  where  Mr.  Pelter  lived.  She  drove 
to  his  house,  and  went  herself  to  ring  the  bell 
and  make  her  inquiries. 

Mrs.  Pelter  soon  appeared,  in  answer  to  the 
bell,  and  Julia  asked :  "  Is  Mr.  Pelter  in  ? " 

Here  was  a  woman  made  of  different  clay,  and 
formed  in  a  different  mould,  from  that  which 
formed  and  fashioned  those  who  usually  pro 
pounded  this  familiar  question,  and  Mrs.  Pelter 
was  really  pleased  with  her  appearance ;  though 
she  wondered  all  the  time  what  she  could  want 
of  "Pelter." 


170  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PEL  TEA'. 

44  lie  is  out  at  present,"   answered  Mrs.  Pelter. 

44 1  am  very  sorry,"  Julia  answered.  "  Can 
you  tell  me  where  I  would  be  most  likely  to 
find  him?" 

44  Clinging  to  some  woman's  petticoat ! "  said 
Mrs.  Pelter,  spitefully, 

Julia  smiled.  And  Mrs.  Pelter,  seeing  it,  came 
as  near  a  smile  as  she  ever  did;  and,  in  fact, 
as  near  as  it  was  possible  to  come  with  such  a 
face  as  hers. 

"What  particular  petticoat  shall  I  try  to  find?" 
asked  Julia,  with  a  broader  smile. 

"  Well,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  chuckling  at  her  first 
conceit,  " you'd  better  go  to  the  brooding-place; 
you  '11  probably  find  them  all  upon  some  new 
egg  of  mischief." 

44  Where  is  that?"  inquired  Julia,  now  exceed 
ingly  amused. 

44  At  what  they  call  the  Ladies'  Rooms,"  said 
Mrs.  Pelter ;  and  she  gave  the  street  and  num 
ber. 

Now,  for  the  first  time,  Julia  thought  of  what 
John  had  told  her  of  his  visit  there,  and  how 
she  might  have  saved  the  trouble  of  her  inquiries 
if  she  had  thought  of  it  before. 

44  Is  Mr.  Pelter  wrong  in  any  way  up  here?" 
asked  Julia,  tapping  her  forehead  with  her  finger. 

44  What?    daft?" 

44  Yes." 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  171 

"  Why,  bless  you !  No !  But  I  do  not  won 
der  that  you  ask  the  question ;  for  he  is  surely 
a  very  different  man  from  what  he  claims  to  be.'"' 

Thanking  Mrs.  Peltcr  for  her  information,  and 
leaving  a  smile  behind  to  warm  the  spot  where 
Mrs.  Pelter's  heart  had  been,  Julia  returned  to 
her  carnage,  and  drove  away  to  find  the  ladies' 
rooms. 

When  she  reached  the  u  rooms,"  she  sent 
Thomas  in  to  inquire  for  Mr.  Pelter. 

At  that  very  moment  the  Board  was  actively 
engaged  in  assaults  on  Julia's  character.  Ezekiel 
had  just  reported  to  them  his  observations  while 
with  Rachel  on  the  day  before.  By  his  spirited 
remarks  he  conveyed  an  impression  —  uncon 
sciously,  perhaps,  but  he  conveyed  it  —  of  his  un 
usual  dignity  and  courage  on  that  occasion.  He 
did  not  even  mention  —  so  engaged  was  he  in 
more  important  matters  —  his  flying  heels  in  the 
sight  of  Joseph  Smith. 

"  Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r  is  inquired  for,"  said  a  mem 
ber,  returning  from  the  door  where  Thomas  was. 

"Who    is   it?"    asked    Mr.   Pelter. 

"He  is  a  coachman — by  his  dress,"  the  mem 
ber  answered. 

Mr.  Pelter  excused  himself,  and  going  to  the 
door,  found  Thomas  there.  He  stopped  in  the 
open  door,  and  did  not  recognize  the  coachman. 

"Is  your  name  Pelter?"    Thomas   asked. 


172  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTEK. 

"  It  is,"  said  Air.  Pelter,  frowning  on  this 
familiarity,  and  swelling  sensibly. 

"•You  look  sprucer  than  you.  did  when  we  took 
you  from  the  barrel,"  continued  Thomas,  with  a 
merry  twinkle  in  his  eye. 

"Hush!"  said  Ezekiel,  Avith  his  finger  up,  and 
then  he  stepped  out  and  carefully  closed  the  door. 

"  What  is  it,  my  good  man  ? "  he  now  in 
quired  ;  and,  as  he  spoke,  he  beamed  upon  the 
coachman  graciously. 

"My   mistress    wants   you." 

"Where   is  she?" 

"  In  her  carriage." 

"Here?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

Now,  it  had  been  the  great  desire  of  Ezekiel's 
secret  heart,  ever  since  he  saw  her  first,  to  make 
the  acquaintance  of  the  "  handsome  woo-mnn " ; 
and  he  would  in  truth  much  sooner  cultivate 
that  blooming  garden  than  the  finest  moral  gar 
den  in  the  world.  But  these  were  his  secret 
thoughts,  and  he  was  by  far  too  prudent  to  dis 
close  them  to  the  Board. 

"  Tell  her  that  I  will  be  out  immediately," 
said  he  ;  and  he  returned. 

"  Who  is  it  ? "  asked  the  members,  when  he 
re-appeared. 

"  The  very  one  AVC  're  talking  of,"  said  Mr. 
Pelter. 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  173 

"  Goodness !  "  exclaimed  the  members,  in  sur 
prise.  u  What  does  she  want?" 

"She  sent  in  for  me,"  Ezekiel  answered;  "she's 
in  her  carriage  at  the  door." 

Then  he  added,  artfully,  —  well  knowing  that 
he  would  be  urged  to  go  : 

"Is  it  proper?  " 

"  She   can  't  hurt   you,"     said  one. 

"It  is  your  duty,"    said  a  second. 

And  all,  without  exception,  urged  him  to  go  ; 
for  they  were  not  disposed,  on  mere  punctilio,  to 
be  cheated  of  a  fresh  sensation. 

"The  call  of  duty,"  said  Ezekiel,  bowing  to 
the  second  member,  "  always  finds  its  answer 
here,"  and  he  put  his  hand  upon  his  waistcoat ; 
but  really  nearer  his  stomach  than  his  heart  — 
and  quite  properly.  Then  he  took  his  broad- 
brimmed  hat  and  started  out. 

As  he  approached  the  carriage  where  Julia  sat, 
he  lifted  off  his  hat,  and  let  his  blandness  shine 
with  more  than  usual  splendor. 

Julia  smiled,  and  greeted  him,  and  thanked 
him  for  his  coming. 

"  Will  you  get  in  and  ride  with  me  ? "  said 
she.  "  I  want  to  talk  with  you.  I  will  bring 
you  back  again." 

Nothing  could  have  been  proposed  more  agree 
able  to  Mr.  Pelter,  and  he  showed  it  in  his 
shining  face.  With  another  bow,  and  without 


174  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR,    PELTER, 

further  hesitation,  he  got  in  and  took  a  seat 
beside  the  handsome  "  ^^'o0-man." 

"  What  a  world  we  live  in,  Mr.  Pelter,"  Julia 
commenced,  as  they  turned  and  drove  away. 

"It  is  a  dying  world,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  solemn 
ly,  and  sighing  as  he  spoke. 

"  What   a   wicked   world   it   is !  "    said    Julia. 

"  Oh  ivhat  a  wicked  world ! "  responded  Mr. 
Pelter. 

"  I  hope  that  you  did  not  suffer  much  from 
your  rough  treatment  on  our  grounds  on  that 
dark  night;''  and  Julia  smiled  in  spite  of  all 
attempts  at  gravity,  as  she  remembered  his  ap 
pearance  then. 

"I  suffered,  madam,"  replied  Ezekiel ;  "but  we 
were  made  to  suffer." 

"  How   comforting  your  religion  is." 

And  Julia  turned  away  her  head  to  conceal 
another  smile. 

"  Oh,  it  is  such  a  comfort  !  And,  madam,  I 
would  brave  a  hundred  such  dark  nights  as  that 
to  be  of  service  to  you." 

Here  he  turned  on  her  his  captivating  look, 
and  Julia  smiled  and  answered  by  a  word  of 
thanks. 

"  I  want  to  ask  you  about  that  night,"  con 
tinued  she.  "  Tell  me  why  you  went  there ;  tell 
me  frankly,  Mr.  Pelter." 

With  that  fearless  look,  so  natural  to  him  when 


THE   IMP   OF  DISCORD.  175 

he  felt  secure  from  danger,  he  replied:  "I  went 
to  save  you  from  a  godless  libertine  ! " 

Julia  had  not  looked,  or  prepared  herself,  for 
such  a  blast  as  this,  and  she  was  greatly  scan 
dalized  by  a  charge  so  shocking. 

"  Are  you  speaking  of  my  husband  ? "  she  re 
plied,  in  a  tone  of  dignified  resentment ;  and  in 
spite  of  all  her  own  anathemas,  her  woman's 
nature  would  defend  the  man  in  whom  she  trust 
ed  once. 

"Are  you  —  really  —  married  to  him?"  asked 
Mr.  Pelter,  in  a  tone  of  great  astonishment. 

"  Do  you  ask  me  ?  Did  you  not  see  that  we 
were  living  there?" 

Mr.  Pelter  saw  by  her  flashing  eyes  that  his 
awkward  feet  were  treading  on  torpedoes,  and 
he  clumsily  attempted  to  extricate  himself. 

t;  Yes,"    he   answered,    "  I    saw   that !  " 

"  Then  why  did  you  ask  me  if  we  were  married  ?  " 

"  Because  I  did  not  think  that  he  would  dare 
to  go  so  far." 

"  Did  you  think  that  he  would  live  with  me 
and  not  be  married  to  me  ? " 


"  He   might   do   that !  " 


"  What,  then,  do  3^011  think  of  me  ?  Am  I  a 
wanton?  How  dare  you,  sir  — 

"  Oh  no !  110 !  no !  I  beg  ten  thousand  par 
dons  !  I  did  not  think  of  you !  I  only  thought 
of  him  ! 


176  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Their  excited  voices  reached  the  coachman's 
ears,  and  he  turned  his  head,  and  saw  his  mis 
tress  glaring  on  the  cowering  man.  She  noticed 
this,  and  quickly  settled  back  to  her  previous 
position.  The  coachman,  muttering  something  to 
himself,  turned  back  to  his  position. 

When  Julia  spoke  again  it  was  almost  in  a 
whisper ;  a  nameless  and  shapeless,  but  giant 
and  oppressive  horror,  was  coming  over  her. 

"  Speak  low  ! "  said  she,  "  and  tell  me  what 
you  mean  ! " 

"  I  mean,"  said  Mr.  Pelter.  speaking  low, 
"  that  he  has  another  wife  ! " 

It  was  a  hard  and  cruel  blow,  and  it  fell 
with  crushing  weight.  Julia  sank  back,  with  a 
smothered  moan,  and  for  a  moment  seemed  to 
be  unconscious.  Mr.  Pelter  was  alarmed ;  and 
he  looked  with  frightened  eyes  upon  the  white 
and  deathly  face.  He  was  about  to  have  the 
coachman  stop,  when  Julia,  seeing  his  intention, 
put  her  hand  upon  his  arm  and  shook  her 
head. 

Then,  by  an  almost  superhuman  effort,  she 
threw  off  the  lethargic  spell,  and  leaning  over 
to  Ezekiel,  whispered : 

"  Was  it  the  white-faced  woman  in  the  car 
riage,  who  came  for  him  on  yesterday ;  and  who 
was  at  the  door  when  I  saw  you  running 
off?" 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  177 

u  Yes,"    whispered   Mr.    Pelter. 

'"  That  accounts  for  her  hold  on  him  ! "  said 
Julia  to  herself.  Then  she  continued,  speaking 
to  Ezekiel  — 

"  I  must  see  her !  Can  you  arrange  it  with 
out  her  knowledge  ?  " 

"  I   think    so." 

"  And  can  you  arrange  it  so  that  I  can  see 
them  both  together,  think  you?" 

"  Yes ;   but   I   must   have   a   little   time." 

"Will  you  let  me  know  when  it  is  arranged?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Then  let  me  take  you  back.  I  must  get 
home  !  This  blow  is  killing  me  ! " 

"Oh,  ma'am  — "  commenced  Ezekiel;  and 
then  he  stopped ;  for  he  saw  that  she  did  not 
heed,  or  even  seem  to  hear  him.  She  aroused 
herself  an  instant,  and  told  the  coachman  to 
take  Mr.  Pelter  back,  and  then  drive  home. 
After  this,  she  sank  back  again,  and  closed  her 
e}res,  and  did  not  move  or  speak  until  the  car 
riage  stopped  for  Mr.  Pelter  to  get  out. 

Then  she  sat  up,  and  with  her  hand  on  Mr. 
Pelter's  arm,  and  her  face  near  his,  she  said 
impressively :  "  Remember !  you  must  let  me 
know  !  " 

"I   will,"   said   Mr.    Pelter. 

Standing  by  the  curb-stone,  he  watched  the 
carriage  as  it  drove  away,  and  the  image  of  that 


178  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

white,  distressful  face,  was  fixed  upon  his  mind 
forever. 

c*  Another  heart  is  broken  by  that  wicked 
man!"  said  he;  not  dreaming  that  he  himself 
had  caused  all  the  mischief. 

When  Julia  reached  her  home  she  found  her 
husband  there,  and  a  stranger  whom  she  had 
never  seen  before. 

John  was  so  shocked  by  her  appearance  when 
she  entered  that  he  could  not  control  his  mas 
tering  emotions ;  and  he  broke  down  with  sobs, 
and  hurried  to  a  private  room  to  regain  com 
posure. 

The  stranger,  with  a  look  of  tenderness  and 
pity,  stepped  up  to  Julia,  and  said  to  her,  "  Let 
me  assist  you  to  your  room."1 

She  could  not  refuse  his  proffered  help,  for 
she  was  too  weak  to  reach  her  room  unaided. 
Hanging  on  the  stranger's  arm,  and  looking  in 
his  kind  and  sympathizing  face,  she  asked : 

u  Are   you    John's    friend?" 

"  Yes,    and   yours,"    lie    answered. 

"  I  am  glad  of  that,"  said  she ;  "  for  it  seems 
a  very  heavy  blow  to  him." 

'•  It   is,    indeed,"    the    stranger   answered. 

"  His  sobs,"  said  Julia,  "  fell  like  heavy  ham 
mers  on  my  heart.  I  thought  that  I  should  hate 
him  —  but  —  I  can't  —  I  can't!" 

By  this   time  they   had  reached   her  room,  and 


"  Are  you  John's  friend?  " 


4*. 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  181 

as    soon    as    her     wrappings     were     removed     the 
stranger  helped  her  to  a  sofa,  where  she  reclined. 

John  appeared  directly  after.  He  took  a  chair 
and  drew  it  up  to  Julia's  side,  and  reached  out 
to  take  her  hand. 

She  drew  her  hand  away.  "  Which  one  was 
first  ? "  she  asked  in  a  languid  tone. 

A  sharp,  quick  glance  was  instantly  exchanged 
between  the  husband  and  the  stranger,  as  they 
heard  the  question. 

44  Which  one  was  first  I  ask?"  repeated  Julia. 
"Don't  you  understand  me.?" 

"  No,"    said    John.     "What    do   you   mean?" 

"Which   one    did   you   marry   first?" 

Another  look  was  here  exchanged  between  the 
husband  and  the  stranger. 

"Was    she    the    first?"    persisted    Julia. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  said  John,  not  knowing  what  to 
say. 

"  It  is  better  so  than  the  other  way,"  con 
tinued  Julia. 

"How?"    asked  John. 

"  Why,  I  would  rather  be  the  one  who  holds 
your  heart  —  and  I  believe  I  do  —  even  if  our 
marriage  was  unlawful,  than  to  be  the  deserted 
wife!" 

A  moment's  silence  intervened,  and  then  she 
spoke  again  : 

"  But,    John,    it    was    a   very   wicked    thing    to 


182  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

do !  I  think — I  know  indeed — that  you  did  not 
dream  that  it  would  cost  your  Julia's  life ;  but 
-it  will!" 

Another  painful  silence  passed,  and  she  again 
continued : 

"  I  can  never  show  my  face  again  !  It  is  such 
a  shame !  It  will  be  very  hard  for  me  to  give 
you  up:  but  I  must  do  it.  You  belong  to  her!" 

Here  the  stranger  interrupted,  saying,  "  You 
will  feel  better  for  a  little  rest.  I  am  a  phy 
sician  ;  let  me  give  you  something.  When  you 
have  had  a  little  sleep  we  can  talk  of  all  these 
things." 

"  It  is  a  healer  of  the  soul  /  need,"  responded 
Julia.  "  This  physical  machinery  is  of  very  little 
value  to  me  now ;  and  I  do  not  care  how  soon 
the  wheels  run  down  —  and  —  stop!" 

While  she  was  speaking,  the  doctor  took  some 
medicine  from  a  little  pocket-case,  and  as  soon 
as  she  had  finished  he  offered  it  to  her. 

"  Take  it !  "  said  he  ;  "  you  will  feel  better  for  it." 

"  To  please  you  I  will  take  it,  for  you  are 
kind ;  but  for  myself,  I  do  not  care." 

She  took  the  medicine.  The  effect  was  very 
soon  apparent.  Her  breathing  was  more  natural 
and  her  system  generally  more  relaxed.  Soon 
her  eyes  grew  dull  and  heavy ;  and  then  they 
closed ;  and  then  her  soft,  low  breath  gave  no 
tice  of  her  slumber. 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  183 

The  stranger  was  an  eminent  physician,  and 
one  who  gave  particular  attention  to  treatments 
of  the  "  mind  diseased."  John  had  been  with 
him  since  he  first  found  him  in  the  morning. 
He  repeated  to  the  doctor  his  strange  interview 
with  Julia. 

"  That  fancy  of  my  walking  in  my  stocking- 
feet,  arid  stealing  from  her,  seems  to  trouble  her 
the  most  of  anything,"  said  John.  "  But  yet  she 
is  just  as  earnest  and  as  positive  in  the  declaration 
that  I  went  home  to  lunch  with  her,  and  was 
carried  off  from  there  by  some  white-faced  woman." 

"  Is  there  not  some  foundation  for  these  fan 
cies?"  asked  the  doctor. 

"  Not  the  least !  "  said  John,  most  positively. 
"  So  far  Avas  she  from  taking  me  to  lunch  as 
this ;  I  did  not  even  see  her  during  the  entire 
day!  And  I  certainly  did  not  go  off  with  any  wo 
man —  white-faced  or  black,  or  of  any  other  color. 
As  to  my  walking  on  my  toes  in  my  stocking- 
feet,  and  stealing  from  the  house  in  such  a  way, 
it  is  too  ridiculous  to  be  reconciled  with  sanity." 

"Well,  I  will  go  with  you,  and  see  her,"  said 
the  doctor. 

"  What  do  you  think  from  what  I  've  said  to 
you?"  asked  John,  with  manifest  anxiety. 

"You  may  be  right,"  the  doctor  answered.  "I 
am  inclined  to  think  you  are.  But  do  not  be 
cast  down ;  it  may  be  —  and,  indeed,  is  likely  to 


184  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

be — merely  a  temporary  aberration,  resulting  from 
some  physical  disorder,  which  may  very  soon  be 
regulated. 

So  they  started  for  the  house.  When  they 
reached  the  house,  Julia  was  away.  The  servants 
did  not  know  where  she  had  gone,  and  they  sat 
down  to  wait  for  her  return.  When  she  did 
return,  they  did  not  see  her  until  she  entered. 

As  soon  as  Julia  was  asleep,  the  doctor  sug 
gested  that  they  retire  to  another  room,  and 
ascertain,  if  possible,  where  she  had  been,  and 
how  employed  while  she  was  out.  "  It  may  lead 
us,"  the  doctor  said,  "  to  something  more  deter 
minate." 

They  retired  to  another  room,  and  John  stepped 
out  and  sent  for  Thomas,  who  very  soon  ap 
peared. 

"  This  gentleman,"  said  John  to  him,  "  Avill 
state  some  questions  to  you  ;  I  wish  you  to 
answer  them  carefully  and  frankly." 

Thomas  bowed  and  gave  his  attention  to  the 
doctor. 

"  Where  have  you  been  this  morning,  and  how 
has  your  mistress  been  engaged  ? "  the  doctor 
asked. 

"  We  have  been  hunting  for  a  queer  old  chap 
by  the  name  of  Pelter,"  Thomas  answered,  "and 
when  we  found  him  she  had  a  talk  with  him." 

"What  did   they   talk   about?" 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  185 

"  I   did  not  hear ;    but   once    or   twice   my  mis 
tress    was    very   much    excited ;    and   she   seemed, 
somehow,    broke     down      when     Pelter      left     us. 
Then    I    drove    home." 
"  Is   that   all  ?  " 
"That's   all,   sir." 

"  You  may  go,"  said  John,  and  Thomas  at 
once  retired. 

"Who  is  this  Pelter?  Do  you  know  him?" 
asked  the  doctor,  turning  to  John. 

"Well,"  said  John,  "  he  is  a  crazy  fellow,  or 
a  very  foolish  one  ;  and  I  did  not  think  to  state 
before  that  he  seems  to  be,  somehow,  mixed  up 
in  the  confusion  of  her  mind.  She  asked  me  why 
he  ran  away  when  the  woman  took  me  off." 

Here  John  told  all  he  knew  of  Mr.  Pelter, 
and  closed  by  saying:  "He  seems  to  be  so  fixed 
in  her  curious  fancies,  that  it  is  not  strange, 
perhaps,  that  she  should  try  to  find  him.  In  a 
sound  and  healthy  state  of  mind,  she  could  have 
no  earthly  object  in  seeing  him." 

"  You  see,"  remarked  the  doctor,  "  by  what 
she  said  just  now,  that  she  has  other  fancies 
than  those  you  stated ;  and  that  the  one  now 
prominent  with  her  is  that  you  have  another 
wife,  whom  you  have  deserted." 

"Yes,"  said  John, "  and  that  was  one  of  Pel- 
ter's  crazy  notions." 

"  Then,"    said  the  doctor,   "  he    may  have    con- 
8 


186  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

veyed  that  impression  to  your  wife.  Here  is  a 
starting  point,  at  all  events." 

"Yes,  and  a  stopping  point!''  said  John,  speak 
ing  with  excitement.  t%  If  I  find  him  hanging 
around  my  house  again  I  will  order  his  arrest!" 

"  I  am  not  satisfied  upon  the  question  of  your 
Avife's  condition,"'  said  the  doctor,  "  and  must 
talk  with  her.  We  can  do  no  more  at  present. 
She  will  sleep'  for  several  hours, '  perhaps,  and 
when  she  wakens  she  may  be  more  clear,  or  — 
she  may  not.'' 

44  What  do  you  mean  when  you  say  that  she 
may  not?" 

"  Well,  it  is  possible  that  this  excitement  and 
anxiety  may  terminate  in  some  serious  affection 
of  the  brain,  of  which  her  present  state  is  the 
inception ;  if  so,  it  is  quite  likely  that  all  these 
fancies  are  really  the  images  produced  by  physi 
cal  disease,  as  I  said  before,  and  that  they  will 
vanish,  and  be  remembered  only  as  a  dream  — 
and  a  shadowy  one  at  that  —  when  she  recovers. 
Now  T  must  go.  You  can  send  for  me  when  her 
sleep  is  over."  With  this,  the  doctor  went  away, 
and  left  the  frightened  and  bewildered  John 
with  the  specters  of  his  fears. 

Julia's  sleep  was  not  so  long  or  so  profound 
as  the  doctor  thought  it  would  be  ;  and  when 
John  returned  to  her,  he  found  her  restless  and 
turning  on  her  couch,  and  muttering  incoherent 


THE  IMP   OF  DISCORD.  187 

words.  The  fever  had  begun,  and  her  heated 
blood  was  swelling  all  her  veins  by  its  rapid  and 
unnatural  flow.  Her  face  and  hands  were  hot 
and  dry ;  and  when  she  started  from  her  sleep, 
and  John  offeivd  her  some  water,  she  clutched 
the  glass  with  trembling  fingers  and  drained  it 
eagerly.  Then  she  settled  back,  with  a  long- 

&  J  O 

drawn  breath,  and  fixed  her  eyes  on  John.  But 
he  could  see  that  her  look  was  vacant ;  and 
when  he  spoke  to  her,  and  she  commenced  to 
speak  again,  he  saw  that  her  mind  was  wandering. 

The  doctor  had  scarcely  reached  his  office  when 
he  was  called,  and  hurried  back  again. 

"  This  is  what  I  said  might  happen,"  said  he 
to  John,  after  seeing  Julia. 

"But  is  there  danger?"  inquired  -John,  in  a 
frightened  tone. 

44  No  immediate  danger,"  replied  the  doctor, 
44  and  perhaps  no  real  danger ;  for  she  will  have 
every  care.  In  all  such  cases,  there  is  much  in 
proper  care.  In  her  intervals  of  consciousness  — 
if  she  has  them,  and  probably  she  will  not  —  try 
to  tranquilize  her  mind,  and  never  try  to  settle 
vexing  questions.  Nature  is  the  great  physician 
now,  and  much  depends  on  constant  watchfulness 
and  careful  nursing." 

The  doctor  then  wrote  out  prescriptions,  and 
gave  all  necessary  orders,  and  went  away  again. 
John  nerved  himself  for  the  coming  fight  with  death. 


CHAPTER    IX. 

MR.    PELTER    AS    A    STAR. 

AFFAIRS  at  Joseph's  house  were  in  a  sad  con 
dition.  Confidence  was  entirely  destroyed  be 
tween  himself  and  Rachel.  Each  felt  guilty 
of  a  guiltless  indiscretion ;  and  each  felt  prop 
erly  indignant  that  the  indiscretion  was  so  mag 
nified.  Neither  could  charge  the  other  without 
receiving  a  counter-charge,  and  each  believed  the 
other  to  be  more  guilty  than  a  knowledge  of  the 
actual  facts  would  justify. 

Joseph  tried  to  introduce  the  subject  and  come 
to  mutual  explanations;  but  Rachel  would  not  be 
satisfied  with  this,  and  required  from  him,  first, 
the  confession  of  a  crime  which  existed  only  in 
her  jealous  fancy. 

"  You  do  not  exercise  that  charity  which,  as 
a  Christian  woman,  you  should  exercise,"  said 
Joseph. 

"  Nor  do  you  practice  those  Christian  virtues 
which  you  should  practice  ! "  retorted  Rachel. 

"  Your  religion,  then,  is  not  a  help  in  time  of 
need,"  continued  Joseph. 

188 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  189 

"  It  is  too  much  like  yours ! "  again  retorted 
Rachel, — "  confined  to  preaching  more  than  prac 
tice." 

Thus,  their  anger  stripped  the  masks  from  off 
their  faces,  and  left  no  common  ground  to  stand 
upon.  Sullenly,  angrily,  and  defiantly,  they  took 
their  separate  courses. 

Joseph,  after  this,  was  much  absent  from  his 
home.  Rachel,  believing  that  she  knew  where 
he  was,  was  more  and  more  possessed  by  jeal 
ousy  and  hate. 

"  If  I  can  catch  them  in  a  public  place,  I  '11 
expose  them  to  the  woild,"  said  she. 

Joseph's  evenings  now  were  nearly  always  spent 
away  from  home,  and  he  established  new  asso 
ciations,  to  fill  his  leisure  hours.  This  unfortu 
nate  estrangement  drove  Rachel  more  and  more 
to  the  "  Ladies'  Rooms."  The  Board  received 
her  as  a  victim ;  and  they  never  tired  of  in 
creasing  her  uneasiness  by  artful  innuendoes. 

Mr.  Pelter  w^as  constantly  upon  the  watch  to 
hit  upon  some  time  and  place  when  he  would 
be  certain  of  finding  Joseph  and  his  wife  to 
gether,  that  he  might  communicate  the  fact  to 
Julia ;  but  the  unfortunate  estrangement  defeated 
all  his  plans. 

Affairs  remained  in  this  condition  until  Julia 
had  passed  the  crisis  of  her  malady,  and  had 
convalesced,  and  finally  recovered.  The  attack 


190  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

had  been  as  severe  and  dangerous,  as  it  was  sud 
den  and  unexpected.  For  many  hours,  at  its 
turning-point,  she  was  shadowed  by  the  hover 
ing  wings  of  death.  But  she  rallied — feebly  first, 
and  then  with  greater  strength  —  until,  with  con 
scious  smiles,  she  chased  the  shadows  from  the  room. 

John,  worn  by  watching  and  anxiety,  was  the 
object  of  her  first  wondering  gaze.  Her  low 
voice  struck  him  like  an  electric  shock,  as  she 
inquired,  "How  is  this?" 

"O!  my  DARLING!"  was  all  that  he  could 
say ;  and  he  bowed  his  head  upon  the  bed,  while 
great  sobs  choked  him.  She  put  her  wasted 
hand  upon  his  head,  and  by  that  simple  touch 
filled  him  with  her  tenderness. 

"Have    I  been    so   ill?"    she   asked. 

Now  John  looked  up,  and  a  great  beatitude 
was  shining  through  his  tears. 

"  Why,  John,  you  look  worn  out ! "  said  she. 
"  Have  I  been  here  long  ? " 

"  Oh !  so  long !  An  eternity !  if  duration  can 
be  counted  by  our  throbs  of  anguish." 

"  How  you  love  me,  John."  And  here  she 
took  his  hand  and  smiled. 

"I   never   knew   how    much   till   now!" 

"  I  am  trying  to  remember  ;  it  is  like  a 
hideous  nightmare  ;  I  can 't  make  it  out." 

"  Do  n't  try  to  make  it  out ! "  cried  John,  with 
eagerness. 


MR.    PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  191 

"  I  must  try,  John.  My  mind  will  work  in 
spite  of  me ;  and  it  is  better  to  settle  its  per 
plexities  than  to  leave  it  in  a  muddle.  Some 
well-intentioned  people  have  strange  notions  as 
to  the  proper  treatment  of  a  curious  mind.  In 
mistaken  kindness,  the}r  refuse  to  answer  ques 
tions,  and  drive  it  back  upon  itself,  to  fret  and 
worry,  until,  in  new  perplexities,  ifc  finds  itself 
distracted.  Do  n't  treat  me  this  way.  Has  my 
brain  been  touched?  Have  I  been  wandering?" 

"  Yes,"  said  John,  converted  to  her  notion  of 
a  proper  treatment. 

"That  explains  it  then!"  said  she,  with  a  sigh 
of  visible  relief.  "  I  have  had  some  curious  fan 
cies,  John.  I  saw  that  crazy  Pelter ;  and  I  saw 
a  white-faced  woman  take  you  off  from  me. 
Even  now  these  forms  are  so  distinct  as  to  seem 
realities.  They  are  fancies,  are  they  not?  I  did 
not  really  see  them,  did  I  ?  And  yet  I  could 
almost  swear  to  their  existence!" 

"They  are  all  delusions!"  answered  John. 
"Depend  upon  it!  I  am  not  deceiving  you!" 
Nor  did  he  think  he  was. 

"Well  then,"  said  Julia,  "let  us  banish  them!" 
With  this,  she  marshaled  all  her  fancies  in  a 
ghostly  line,  then  linked  them  to  what  she  now 
believed  to  be  the  image  of  the  white-faced 
woman,  and  drove  them  from  her  brain.  With 
this  came  rest.  With  rest  came  strength.  With 


192  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

strength  came  thankfulness  and  joy.  Sunshine 
filled  the  house  again ;  and  Julia's  songs  and 
laughter  startled  all  the  specters  from  their  cran 
nies. 

John  was  determined  to  protect  his  wife 
against  a  recurrence  of  distressful  scenes.  He 
gave  to  Thomas  most  particular  and  positive  in 
structions.  u  If,"  said  he,  "  that  fellow  Pelter 
comes  about  the  house  again,  you  must  arrest 
him,  and  hand  him  over  to  the  authorities.  I 
will  bear  you  out  in  it,  and  will  appear  and 
make  the  proper  charges.  Julia's  life  is  too 
precious  to  me  to  be  again  endangered." 

"  He  shall  not  escape  if  I  catch  him  here 
again,"  said  Thomas. 

Rachel  was  urged,  from  time  to  time,  by  the 
Ladies'  Board,  to  commence  proceedings  against 
her  husband,  by  a  criminal  complaint ;  but  she 
could  not  be  induced  to  go  so  far  as  that.  She 
was  always  on  the  watcli  to  secure  proofs  of 
Joseph's  guilt ;  but  she  could  not  lend  herself 
to  a  prosecution,  which  would,  she  thought,  re 
sult  in  his  imprisonment  for  a  term  of  years. 

Mr.  Pelter,  after  being  baffled  for  a  score  of 
times  in  his  efforts  to  determine  when  he  would 
be  certain  of  finding  Joseph  at  home  with  Ra 
chel,  at  last  resolved  upon  a  more  direct  attempt. 
When  he  next  met  Rachel  at  the  "  rooms,"  he 
asked  :  "  When  IB  your  husband  home  ?  " 


MR.   PELTEK  AS  A    STAR.  193 

"  Usually  at  dinner,"  answered  Rachel.  "  All 
other  times  are  most  uncertain  now." 

When  he  heard  this  answer,  he  accused  him 
self  of  great  stupidity  for  not  thinking  of  that 
himself.  He  knew  that  the  windows  of  the 
dining-room  opened  toward  the  street,  and  near 
enough  to  enable  a  passer-by  —  especially  if  sit 
ting  in  a  carriage  —  to  see  distinctly  objects  in 
the  room.  He  could  not  hit  upon  a  better  plan 
than  was  at  once  suggested. 

"  We  can  catch  them  at  the  dinner-table  ! " 
he  reflected,  "  and  without  the  danger  of  dis 
covery,  by  simply  driving  past.  But  he  can 't 
be  there  every  day  to  dinner  ;  for  some  days  he 
must  be  with  the  other  woo-man ! " 

"He  is  not  there  every  clay  to  dinner,  is  he?" 
he  continued,  speaking  audibly. 

"  No ;    he    is   often  absent,"    Rachel   answered. 

u  She  '11  know,"  reflected  Mr.  Pelter,  "  when 
he  is  absent,  for  he  '11  be  with  her  ! " 

Some  little  time  had  passed  since  Julia  called 
on  him,  and  he  was  impatient  to  see  and  talk 
Avith  her  again.  He  had  no  knowledge  of  her 
sickness,  or  of  the  sad  effects  of  his  previous 
disclosures ;  and  before  he  had  settled  on  his 
present  plan  for  finding  Joseph  and  his  wife  to 
gether,  she  was  well  again.  A  few  days  after 
he  had  settled  on  this  plan,  he  set  out  for  Julia's 
house,  to  advise  her  of  it. 
8* 


1D4  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.    PELTER. 

lie  was  dressed  with  unusual  care,  and  was 
determined  on  making  a  most  favorable  impres 
sion.  When  he  was  near  the  house  he  stooped 
to  dust  his  feet,  and  his  shining  face  Avas  re 
flected  in  his  polished  boots.  He  concluded  not 
to  ring  the  bell,  for  he  might  thus  attract  atten 
tion  and  curiosity,  and  he  walked  past  the  house, 
with  his  eyes  upon  the  windows.  He  hoped  to 
see  Julia  there,  but  did  not,  and  so  he  turned 
and  walked  back  again.  Back  and  forth  he  walked 
again,  and  then  again,  looking  at  the  windows, 
until  the  servants  noticed  him. 

Julia  was  not  at  home,  and  the  servants,  think 
ing  that  such  conduct  had  a  suspicious  look,  hur 
ried  to  the  stable,  and  reported  to  the  coachman. 
They  described  the  man,  and  Thomas  in  an  in 
stant,  thought  of  the  "  crazy  Pelter,"  and  of 
John's  instructions  with  regard  to  him. 

"  Let  me  see,"  said  lie,  and  he  stooped  and 
craned  his  neck,  and  carefully  looked  out  from 
the  stable  door  —  his  body  not  exposed.  The 
girls,  on  tip-toe,  looked  above  his  head,  ready, 
at  an  instant's  warning,  to  dodge  out  of  sight. 

Mr.  Pelter,  in  his  repeated  walks,  not  seeing 
Julia,  resorted  to  another  means  of  attracting  her 
attention.  He  took  out  his  large  and  spotless 
handkerchief,  and  put  it  to  his  nose,  and  then 
with  all  his  might  blew  such  a  blast  as  nearly 
shook  the  windows  in  their  frames. 


He  blew  such  a  blast  as  nearly  shook  the  windows  in 
their  frames." 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  197 

"  G-r-a-c-i-o-u-s  !  what  a  nose  !  "  the  girls  ex 
claimed,  and  then  they  tittered.  Here  Mr.  Pel- 
ter  came  in  sight,  walking  majestically  and  look 
ing  at  the  windows. 

"That's  him!  that's  him!"  the  girls  cried 
out,  and  then  retreated  from  the  door. 

"Yes,"  said  Thomas,  also  dodging  back,  "that's 
the  fellow  —  sure  !  " 

"Who?"  asked   the   girls,  excited. 

"  Why,  the  thief  we  caught  here  —  in  the  bar 
rel,"  answered  Thomas,  chuckling,  as  he  noticed 
their  look  of  fear. 

"  Mercy  !  "  cried  the  girls,  in  real  alarm,  "  he  's 
taking  observations  for  another  visit !  Probably 
he  knows  that  mistress  is  away,  and  thinks  you 
gone  as  well." 

"  For  all  his  dress,  he  has  a  villain's  look  !  " 
said  one. 

"  Yes,"  the  other  said,  "  and  a  savage  villain's 
look."  And  their  imaginations  made  him  quite 
a  furious  monster,  when,  in  fact,  he  would  have 
run  in  terror  from  either  one  of  them. 

"Stand  back!  stand  back!"  said  Thomas,  "I 
must  manage  to  get  him  in  here  somehow." 

"  In  here !  To  cut  our  throats  ?  Wait,  Tom ! 
Wait !  Let  us  get  out !  "  exclaimed  the  girls  ;  and 
then  they  ran  until  they  reached  the  house,  and 
shut  and  locked  the  door. 

Thomas  now  walked  out,  as  though  unconscious 


193  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELT  EX. 

of  Mr.  Pelter's  presence.  By  this  time  Ezekiel 
had  made  his  usual  turn,  and  walked  back  again. 
Thomas  Avas  near  the  fence  when  he  came  back. 
Mr.  Pelter  saw  him,  and,  in  his  loftiest  and  most 
patronizing  tone,  he  said  : 

"  Ah  !    how   are   you  ?  " 

"How  are  you?"    Thomas  answered. 

"  Thanks  to  a  gracious  Providence,  I  am  well 
-very  well,"  said  Mr.  Pelter. 

"  Will  you  walk  in  and  see  the  grounds  ? " 
asked  Thomas,  pleasantly;  for  he  feared  that  Mr. 
Pelter  might  escape  if  he  tried  to  catch  him  on 
the  street. 

"  Ahem ! "  said  Mr.  Pelter,  pleased  with  the 
suggestion,  and  thinking  that  he  would  be  cer 
tain  now  of  Julia's  notice.  "  Thank  you,  I  will 
step  in  a  moment." 

Thomas  held  the  gate  for  him,  and  he  stepped 
in  and  began  to  admire  a  bed  of  flowers  near. 

"  Do  you  ever- think,  my  man,"  said  he,  Avith 
unction,  "of  the  Giver  of  these  bright  flowers?" 

"  They  Avas  n't  give  to  us ;  my  mistress  bought 
'em  at  the  green-house." 

Ezekiel  groaned. 

"Come  and  see  the  stable,"  continued  Thomas. 

"Here!  read  this!"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  holding- 
out  what  he  had  just  taken  from  his  pocket. 

"What's  that?"   asked   Thomas,  looking  at   it. 

Ezekiel  put  his  finger  on  the  head-lines  of  his 


MR.  PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  199 

favorite  tract,  and  read  out  the  words,  in  his  lofty 
and  impressive  tone  : 

"$3etoare  of  tje  ftSJcatf)  to  (Some." 

"  All  right,"  said  Thomas,  and  he  again  in 
vited  Mr.  Pelter  to  the  stable. 

"If  I  could  only  call  you  to  the  manger !  " 
Ezekiel  fervently  exclaimed. 

"  They  're  all  out  of  date ! "  said  Thomas, 
"  We  feed  from  racks  and  boxes  now !  Come ! 
I  '11  show  you." 

"  Too  true  !  Too  true  ! "  said  Ezekiel  sol 
emnly. 

"What's  too  true?" 

"  That  the  manger  is  all  out  of  date !  O  ! 
what  a  world  !  " 

"  As  crazy  as  a  loon !  "  said  Thomas  to  him 
self. 

By  this  time  they  had  reached  the  stable,  and 
Thomas  stood  aside  for  Ezekiel  to  enter.  As 
soon  as  Thomas  entered,  he  looked  about  and 
found  a  stout  but  slender  piece  of  rope  ;  then 
approaching  Mr.  Pelter  from  behind,  he  caught 
his  arms  and  drew  them  back,  and  in  a  twinkle 
tied  them. 

"Now,"    said   he,   "I've  got  you!" 

Mr.  Pelter  was  so  overcome  by  fear,  at  first, 
that  he  was  speechless  ;  and  Thomas,  taking  ad 
vantage  of  his  condition,  quickly  placed  him  in 


200  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

position  and  strapped  his  legs,  and  then  his  body 
to  a  post. 

"  You  must  excuse  me,"  said  the  coachman, 
while  at  work,  "and  call  out  if  I  draw  too  hard. 
I  would  not  tie  you,  but  I  must  fix  you  sure, 
so  I  can  leave  you  while  I  get  ready  to  take 
you  off." 

Mr.  Pelter  thought  of  abduction,  torture,  assas 
sination,  and  a  hundred  other  frightful  things ; 
for  Joseph's  threats  to  Mrs.  Pelter  were  running 
in  his  mind. 

Trembling  from  head  to  foot,  and  stammering 
in  his  speech,  he  asked : 

«  Wh  —  wh— where?" 

"  To   the   police   station,"    Thomas   answered. 

EzekieFs  courage  mounted  no\v,  and  lie  no 
longer  trembled,  for  the  thought  of  danger  to 
his  person  was  removed.  The  idea  of  a  brief 
confinement  for  the  sake  of  righteousness  was 
rather  pleasing  than  ^pleasing  to  his  mind.  He 
had  twanged  so  long  upon  a  single  string,  that 
the  familiar  sound  was  irksome  even  to  himself. 
This  arrest,  if  properly  manipulated,  would  fur 
nish  him  another  string,  and  he  would  strike 
such  wailing  sounds  from  it  as  to  reach  hearts 
insensible  to  his  usual  appeals. 

In  imagination,  he  could  already  see  the  indig 
nant  members  of  the  Board  hurling  thunderbolts 
against  his  prison-walls ;  and  even  Mrs.  Pelter 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  201 

must  be  touched  to  some  compassion  by  his  dis 
tress.  Rachel,  and  "  My-rm<%r"  and  the  "  hand 
some  w00-man,"  would  all  regard  him  with  a 
higher  veneration  than  before,  when  they  saw 
him  suffering  in  their  cause.  And  what  an  end 
less  theme  for  tracts!  He  would  write,  and 
throw  them  from  between  his  prison  bars,  as 
thick  and  fast  as  snowflakes  come  in  a  winter 
storm !  He  luxuriated  in  these  thoughts ;  and 
now  he  only  feared  that  he  might  be  discharged, 
and  not  confined  at  all. 

Thomas,  when  he  had  "fixed  him  sure,"  went 
in  to  notify  the  servants  in  the  house,  and  offer 
them  a  chance  to  look  upon  his  prisoner. 

"Are  yon  sure,"  they  asked,  "  that  you  have 
him  safe  ?  " 

"  As  safe   as   a  thief  in  stocks !  "    said  he. 

With  this  assurance,  they  ventured  to  the 
stable,  following  in  the  coachman's  wake.  With 
hesitating  steps,  when  they  reached  the  door, 
they  entered. 

Mr.  Pelter's  clothing  was  disarranged  some 
what,  by  the  trussing  Thomas  gave  him.  His 
breeches-legs  were  drawn  up  above  his  boot-tops, 
and  his  hat,  by  contact  with  the  post,  was 
knocked  upon  one  side.  This  gave  him  a  rakish 
look,  which  detracted  much  from  the  impressive- 
ness  of  what  he  very  gravely  uttered.  He  looked, 
in  truth,  more  like  a  drunken  man,  attempting 


202  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

to  convince  you  of  his  sobriety,  than  like  him 
self,  the  peerless  Mr.  Pelter.  His  appearance,  in 
stead  of  appealing  to  the  compassion  of  the 
servants,  amused  them  greatly,  and  they  nudged 
each  other  and  tittered,  and  then  laughed  out 
right,  Thomas  joining  them. 

"  Did  your  master  order  this  assault  upon  ray 
liberties?"  inquired  Mr.  Pelter,  in  a  crushing  tone. 

"  It 's  strictly  'cordin'  to  instructions,"  ans 
wered  Thomas,  with  a  smile. 

"You're  a  child  of  sin!"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  as 
he  noticed  Thomas'  smile,  "  with  no  bowels  of 
compassion  !  " 

In  his  earnestness  he  threw  back  his  head,  and 
hit  his  hat  again  against  the  post,  knocking  it 
to  a  new  position,  more  rakish  than  before.  At 
this  the  servants  laughed  again,  and  Thomas 
joined  them.  One  eye  now  was  nearly  covered 
by  liis  hat,  and  Avith  that  half  open,  and  the  other 
fairly  blazing  with  his  indignation,  he  gave  them 
such  a  look  as  he  thought  would  crush  them, 
but  it  only  served  to  increase  their  irreverent 
merriment. 

Thomas  now  retired  to  make  some  changes  in 
his  dress,  and  the  servants  scampered  to  the 
house  again. 

"  Now,  old  chap,"  said  Thomas,  on  his  return, 
"  if  you  '11  be  quiet,  and  not  try  to  get  away, 
I  11  take  all  your  fastenings  off." 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  203 

"I  will  go  with  you,"  the  good  man  answered, 
and  this  was  all  that  he  would  say. 

On  this  parole  Thomas  untied  him  from  the 
post  and  freed  his  hands. 

"  Come  on ! "  said  Thomas,  and  they  started 
off.  Ezekiel  was  silent,  but  there  was  a  digni 
fied  serenity  upon  his  face.  When  they  reached 
the  station-house  Thomas  gave  him  up  to  the 
authorities. 

"  What   is   the    complaint  ? "   asked   the    officer. 

"  General  cussedness  !  "  Thomas  anwered. 

"But  why  did   you  arrest   him?" 

"Actin'  under  orders." 

"  Whose    orders  ?  " 

"  My  master's ;    I  will   go  and   bring   him." 

Without  waiting  for  another  word,  Thomas 
went  out  to  report  to  John. 

"  What  is  the  name  of  the  man  who  ordered 
your  arrest?"  asked  the  officer  of  Mr.  Pelter. 

"Joseph  Smith,"  replied  Ezekiel,  and  the  name 
of  Joseph  Smith  was  duly  written  in  the  records. 

"What  is   your   name?" 

With  a  pardonable  degree  of  pride,  and  some 
pomposity,  Ezekiel  replied  :  "  Pelter,  sir — Ezekiel 
Pelter — of  the  Missionary  Board!" 

His  name  was  also  written  in  the  records ;  and 
Ezekiel  was  astonished  to  observe  that  neither  his 
name  nor  that  of  the  Missionary  Board,  seemed 
to  make  the  least  impression  on  the  officer. 


204  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Taking  down  a  bunch  of  keys  hanging  near 
his  desk,  the  officer  rose,  and  said  to  Mr.  Pel- 
ter:  "Come  this  way." 

Mr.  Pelter  followed  him,  and  was  transferred 
to  less  cheerful  quarters,  where,  for  the  present, 
he  was  left  without  confinement  in  a  cell.  The 
offijer  retired,  and  locked  the  door  behind  him. 

"  Hold  there!"  cried  Mr.  Pelter,  from  a  grated 
opening  in  the  door. 

The  officer  stopped  and  turned  around,  and 
Mr.  Pelter  said : 

"  I  must  advise  my  friends  of  my  situation. 
Will  you  give  me  pen,  and  ink,  and  paper?" 

The  officer  nodded  and  walked  on.  He  soon 
returned  with  pen,  and  ink,  and  paper,  and 
handed  them  to  Mr.  Pelter  through  the  grated 
opening  in  the  door.  Until  now  Ezekiel  had 
not  looked  about  him.  There  were  other  pris 
oners  in  the  open  room  or  hall-way  where  he 
was  left ;  and  in  nearly  all  of  the  diamond 
openings  in  the  doors  of  cells  around  he  saw 
curious  and  sometimes  vicious  faces.  Those  in 
the  hall-way  with  him  soon  came  up  and  ques 
tioned  him,  with  jeers,  and  grimaces,  and  bois 
terous  laughter.  Their  faces  and  their  language 
were  so  repulsive  and  terribly  profane,  and  Eze 
kiel  was  so  shocked  by  the  association,  that  he 
drew  away  and  sat  down  by  a  small  rough  table, 
and  commenced  his  letters  to  his  friends.  The 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR,  205 

others  left  him  for  a  time,  and  only  among  them 
selves   made    comments    on   his   looks. 

One  letter  was  to  the  ladies  of  the  Board,  and 
another  to  Mrs.  Pelter. 

The  one  to  the  ladies  of  the  Board  is  yet 
preserved,  and  curious  readers  are  referred  to  it 
as  a  matchless  specimen  of  Mr.  Pelter's  masterly 
descriptions.  It  was  read  by  the  Austere  Mem 
ber  ;  and  the  awful  stillness  of  the  room  Avas 
only  broken  by  the  moans  of  Miranda  Trap  and 
the  sobs  of  the  other  members.  Ezekiel  was 
compared  to  the  Apostle  Paul  in  Ms  imprison 
ment  ;  and  the  comparison  \vas  most  decidedly 
in  favor  of  the  Christian  soldier  of  the  Board. 
It  is  undoubtedly  the  fact  that  in  luxuriant  im 
agery  and  sublime  self-centering  the  apostle  was 
eclipsed. 

Mrs.  Pelter  read  her  letter  with  far  different 
feelings. 

"  It  serves  him  right,"  said  she  ;  "  though  I 
must  try  and  get  him  out.  Perhaps  this  will 
teach  him  to  let  other  people  regulate  their  own 
affairs!" 

In    due    time    Thomas    returned,   accompanied 
by   John. 

"  Is   this   Mr.    Smith  ?  "    inquired   the    officer. 

"  It   is,"    John    answered. 


What   is    the    charge    against    this    man   Pel 


ter? 


206  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"•  I  hardly  know  what  the  technical  offense 
would  be,  but  I  will  state  the  facts." 

John  then  proceeded  to  relate  how  Mr.  Pelter 
had  been  caught  in  his  grounds  at  night,  prying 
about  the  house  ;  and  how,  as  Thomas  Irid  in 
formed  him,  he  was  taking  other  observations 
when  arrested. 

"  The  fellow  is  a  thief,  no  doubt,"  the  officer 
remarked. 

"  He  has  a  very  pious  way  of  talking,"  inter 
rupted  Thomas. 

"  Oli,  that 's  a  favorite  dodge  with  some,"  re 
plied  the  officer,  with  a  knowing  smile.  "  The 
devil's  'livery  of  heaven'  is  among  his  favorite 
costumes ;  he  dresses  preachers  in  it  some 
times." 

"  When  will  it  be  necessary  for  me  to  come 
and  testify?"  inquired  John. 

'*  Well,"  said  the  officer,  "  he  will  first  receive 
a  preliminary  examination  before  a  justice  ;  then 
he  will  be  bound  over  for  his  trial.  Your  man, 
here,  knows  all  the  facts,  and  for  the  purpose 
of  the  examination  his  testimony  will  be  suffi 
cient.  We  will  not  really  need  you  until  the 
trial  in  the  higher  court ;  of  that  we  will  send 
you  notice.  Let  your  man  be  here  to-morrow, 
and  testify  at  the  examination." 

With  these  instructions  John  and  Thomas  went 
away. 


MR.   PELTRR  AS  A    STAR.  207 

Then  the  officer  took  down  his  bunch  of  keys, 
ttiid  went  in  to  Mr.  Pelter. 

"  Here,  my  man,"  said  he,  with  his  hand  on 
Ezekiel's  shoulder,  "  you  belong  in  separate 
quarters." 

Saying  this,  he  took  Ezekiel  to  an  empty  cell, 
and  opened  it,  and  shut  Ezekiel  in.  The  dark 
and  unclean  place  did  not  correspond  at  all  with 
Mr.  Pelter 's  previous  notions  ;  and  the  idea  of 
a  confinement  here  was  much  less  attractive  than 
before. 

The  Board  made  inquiries,  and  ascertained  that 
he  would  be  examined  on  the  following  morn 
ing.  They  resolved  to  support  him  by  their 
presence  and  encouragement.  They  were  present 
at  the  opening  of  the  court  on  the  following  day, 
but  the  place  was  not  attractive,  and  they  were 
shocked  to  see  their  respected  member  in  the 
crowded  dock,  surrounded  by  the  moral  offal  of 
the  city. 

When  Mr.  Pelter  saw  them,  his  heavy  heart 
plucked  courage  from  their  presence,  and  he 
looked  upon  the  court  with  much  complacency, 
from  a  moral  pinnacle. 

His  wife  was  much  more  practical  than  the 
members  of  the  Board,  in  what  she  did.  As 
soon  as  she  was  notified  of  his  confinement,  she 
went  for  legal  counsel.  She  was  advised,  among 
other  things,  that  her  husband  could  be  released 


208  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTER. 

on  bail,  even  if  he  should  be  held  for  trial.  She 
took  this  information  to  Ezekiel  at  the  station- 
house,  and  sent  the  lawyer  to  consult  with  him. 
So,  when  the  case  was  called,  he  had  counsel 
for  his  defense. 

But  the  story  of  the  coachman  was  so  simple 
and  direct,  and  so  free  from  ambiguity  and  con 
tradiction,  that  the  court  could  not  do  otherwise 
than  hold  Ezekiel  for  trial.  He  was  so  held,  and 
his  bail  was  fixed  at  a  reasonable  amount.  He 
was  now  transferred  from  the  station-house  to 
the  city  prison. 

The  story  of  the  coachman,  when  he  gave  his 
testimony  as  to  Mr.  Pelter's  conduct  when  he 
was  trapped  on  that  unlucky  night,  was  so  en 
tirely  different  from  the  impression  made  by  Mr. 
Pelter  in  his  account  of  it,  that  the  members  of 
the  Board  were  unanimous  in  the  opinion  that 
the  prosecution  was  supported  by  false  testimony; 
and  this  increased  their  indignation. 

"  Joseph  Smith,"  said  they,  "  is  trying  to  de 
stroy  the  character  of  Mr.  Pelter,  and  fix  a  crime 
upon  him,  that  he  may  be  secure  from  Mr.  Pel 
ter's  charges !  " 

This  was  a  sufficient  motive,  in  the  opinion  of 
the  Board,  to  induce  the  guilty  man  to.  resort 
to  perjury  in  the  present  case  ;  and  they  now 
urged  Rachel  more  strongly  than  before  to  take 
some  active  measures  in  opposition  to  her  husband. 


MR.    PELTRR   AS   A    STAR.  209 

"  Next  he  will  commence  upon  yourself  !  " 
said  they,  "  and  try  to  hide  your  knowledge 
behind  prison  walls." 

"  If  he  should  ever  even  think  of  such  a 
thing,"  said  Rachel,  in  a  burst  of  passion,  "  I 
will  prosecute  to  the  bitter  end  !  But  he  dare 
not  think  of'  such  a  thing.  I  intend  to  speak  to 
him  of  Mr.  Pelter's  matter,  for  I  will  not  have 
him  prosecute  that  man  for  acting  in  my  service  !  " 

This  resolution  was  applauded  with  enthusiasm, 
and  Kachel  was  so  aroused  that  she  determined 
to  go  in  person  to  the  city  prison,  and  assure 
the  persecuted  man  of  her  active  sympathy,  and 
her  intentions  as  to  his  release.  The  Austere 
Member  volunteered  to  go  with  her. 

As  Mr.  Pelter  was  being  conducted  from  the 
court-room,  he  saw  his  wife.  In  a  quiet  and 
unostentatious  way,  she  approached  him,  and, 
with  other  words  of  comfort,  said  that  she  would 
take  immediate  measures  to  secure  bail,  and  that 
his  confinement  would  be  brief.  This,  coming  as 
it  did  from  one  so  energetic  as  his  wife,  was 
all  that  Mr.  Pelter  needed  to  assure  content. 
Now  he  was  himself  again  —  dignified  and  bland. 
To  have  seen  him  walking  with  the  sheriff  to 
the  city  prison,  a  stranger  would  have  thought 
that  the  officer  had  been  guilty  of  some  grave 
offense,  and  that  Mr.  Pelter  was  trying  to  con 
sole  him  by  some  hopeful  prospect. 


210  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

When  they  reached  the  prison,  Mr.  Pelter 
masked  his  look  of  satisfaction  behind  an  out 
ward  show  of  great  solemnity.  He  was  a  mar 
tyr  now,  and  his  look  and  words  must  support 
the  character. 

His  present  quarters,  in  comparison  with  his 
previous  ones,  seemed  almost  cheerful ;  and  he 
looked  around  —  in  spite  of  his  solemnity — with 
a  glance  of  satisfaction. 

"  Where  are  your  chains  ? "  he  asked,  with 
the  tone  and  look  of  that  provincial  favorite 
in  tragedy  before  referred  to. 

"  Chains ! "    replied    the    sheriff,   in   surprise. 

"  Bring  them  on !  "  continued  Mr.  Pelter,  loft 
ily,  "  and  I  Avill  show  you  how  a  Christian  bears 
his  persecutions." 

Believing  that  his  confinement  would  be  brief, 
he  wished  to  make  the  most  of  it ;  and  if  he 
could  really  wear  the  clanking  chains,  his  im 
prisonment  would  prove  a  mine  of  wealth  to 
him,  since  his  quick  imagination  could  then  in 
vest  the  situation  with  tragic  horrors  impossible 
to  invent  if  he  was  treated  kindly. 

"  Chains  are  only  used  on  desperate  criminals,'' 
the  sheriff  answered.  And  the  ans\ver  only 
served  to  stimulate  Ezekiel's  desire  to  wear  them. 
To  be  treated  as  a  desperate  criminal  would  be 
to  glorify  his  martyrdom. 

"My  enemies  will  not  be  satisfied  if  my  limbs 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  211 

are  free  !  Put  on  the  chains  !  "  insisted  Mr.  Pel- 
ter. 

"  It  would  be  contrary  to  our  regulations," 
the  sheriff  still  protested. 

"  Will  you  bring  them  to  me  and  let  me  see 
them  ?  "  asked  Ezekiel. 

"  Well,  it  is  a  curious  and  unusual  request," 
the  sheriff  answered,  "  but  I  will  let  you  see 
them  if  you  wish." 

Leaving  Mr.  Pelter  in  the  corridor,  and  smil 
ing  at  the  odd  request,  the  sheriff  went  out 
and  soon  returned  with  the  clanking  chains. 

o 

"There  they  are,"  said  the  sheriff,  dropping 
them  on  the  solid  iloor  of  stone,  "  and  it  is  a 
style  of  jewelry  not  usually  admired." 

The  clanking  sound  struck  Mr.  Pelter 's  ears 
like  music,  and  made  him  more  than  ever  anx 
ious  to  have  on  the  chains.  What  an  object  for 
compassion  he  would  be  !  Here  they  were  in 
terrupted  by  a  call,  and  the  sheriff  hurried  out 
to  answer  it.  For  the  remainder  of  the  day  he 
was  so  engaged  that  the  thought  of  Mr.  Pelter 
and  his  chains  did  not  occur  to  him. 

As  soon  as  the  sheriff  had  retired,  Mr.  Pelter 
lifted  up  the  chains  and  examined  them.  One 
of  them  was  the  arms,  and  connected  two  broad 
iron  bands,  fitted  for  the  wrists.  These,  when 
properly  secured,  were  firmly  riveted.  The  other 
one  connected  broader  and  heavier  bands,  formed 
y 


212  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

to  clasp  the  ankles.  These  also,  when  properly 
secured,  were  firmly  riveted.  After  he  had  ex 
amined  them,  he  tried  them  on.  To  secure  them, 
he  sacrificed  his  spotless  handkerchief;  he  tore 
it  into  strips,  and  passing  these  through  the  rivet- 
holes,  he  contrived  to  tie  them  with  his  fingers 
and  his  teeth,  so  as  to  hold  the  bands  in  place. 
Then  he  walked  alon^  the  corridor  and  draped 

*-5  O  o 

the  heavy  chain  upon  the  sounding  floor  until 
the  other  prisoners,  confined  in  cells,  looked  out 
and  watched  him  Avith  amazement  as  he  passed 
their  doors. 

Then  he  practiced  for  awhile,  in  impressive  atti 
tudes,  and  would  hold  his  chained  hands  up  be 
fore  imaginary  witnesses.  But  at  length  he  tired 
of  this,  and  untied  the  bands  and  released  him 
self,  lie  then  began  an  examination  of  his  prison. 

The  corridor  in  which  the  sheriff  left  him 
extended  along  the  side,  and  was  lighted  by  two 
large  windows,  beneath  one  of  which  was  a  nar 
row  table  and  a  single  chair.  The  windows  were 
made  secure  by  means  of  heavy  iron  bars,  placed 
at  short  distances  from  each  other,  and  firmly 
bedded  in  the  solid  masonry  of  the  heavy  prison 
walls.  Opening  on  the  corridor  was  a  row  of 
cells,  and  he  now,  for  the  first  time,  noticed  that 
most  of  them  were  occupied.  The  walls,  and 
floor,  and  cells  were  all  of  heavy  stone,  and  the 
doors  were  iron-studded,  and  hung  on  massive 


MR,   PELTER   AS  A    STAR.  213 

iron  hinges,  and  secured  by  iron  bolts.  From 
little  diamond  openings  in  the  doors  of  cells,  pris 
oners  looked  out  curiously,  wondering  who  this 
strange  man  was.  He  did  not  speak  to  them, 
but,  shrouded  in  solemnity,  and  looking  on  the 
floor,  he  walked  back  and  forth. 

At  last  he  sat  down  by  the  narrow  table,  and 
began  to  arrange  his  thoughts  for  projected  tracts 
and  pamphlets.  In  such  employments  the  day 
passed  by.  When  it  was  nearly  night  the  jailer 
entered  and  informed  the  distinguished  prisoner 
that  some  ladies  wished  to  see  him. 

"  Who   are    they?"    he   asked. 

The   jailer   handed   him    their   cards. 

"  Rachel !  and  a  member  of  the  Board ! "  he 
exclaimed,  with  some  excitement.  "  Can  I  see 
them  here  ! " 

"  Oh,   yes,"   the   jailer   answered. 

"  Give   me   a   little    time   to    compose   myself."" 

"How  long?" 

"  Ten   minutes." 

"  All  right."  And  with  this  reply  the  jailer 
went  to  notify  the  visitors. 

The  chains  were  more  than  ever  tempting  now, 
and  Mr.  Pelter,  without  reflecting  that  he  would 
be  practicing  a  deception,  commenced  to  put 
them  on. 

"  This  will  touch  their  hearts ! "  said  he,  as 
he  tied  the  strings. 


214  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Then  lie  sat  down  again,  with  one  elbow  on 
the  table  and  the  other -hand  upon  his  knee; 
the  chain  extending  from  the  upright  wrist  to 
the  hand  upon  the  table.  By  the  time  he  had 
arranged  all  this,  and  reclined  his  head  upon  his 
upright  hand,  the  jailer  entered,  escorting  Rachel 
and  the  Austere  Member  of  the  Board. 

The  jailer  was  as  much  surprised  as  the  ladies 
were,  to  see  Ezekiel  in  chains ;  and  his  puzzled 
look  was  almost  comical.  As  soon  as  Mr.  Pel- 
ter  saw  them,  he  rose,  and,  by  an  artful  move 
ment,  caused  the'  chains  to  rattle.  Then  he 
slowly  stepped  toward  the  visitors,  and  the  heavy 
clank !  clank !  clank !  upon  the  sounding  floor 
caused  them  to  stop  and  gaze  in  speechless  won 
der  011  the  spectacle.  The  jailer,  no  less  stupe 
fied  than  they,  wondered  how  and  why  the 
prisoner  had  secured  and  donned  these  grim  and 
heavy  trappings. 

Mr.  Pelter  was  in  secret  ecstacies,  as  he  be 
held  the  profound  effect  of  his  manoeuvre  ;  but 
he  was  careful  that  his  face  should  not  disclose 
his  feelings. 

Rachel  felt  she  had  brought  him  to  this  dis 
tressful  plight,  and  her  self-reproaches  and  ac- 
cusings  were  unsparing.  With  tears  and  protes 
tations  she  assured  Ezekiel  that  she  would  not 
rest  until  she  had  effected  his  release.  The 
Austere  Member  was  too  indignant  for  any  such 


Mr.  Pelter  as  a  star. 


MR.   PELTER  AS  A    STAR.  217 

expression.  In  her  righteous  anger,  she  threat 
ened  to  bring  down  the  wrath  of  God  and  man 
upon  the  heads  of  those  who  were  guilty  of  the 
outrage. 

"  He  suffered,"  said  Ezekiel,  with  a  look  of 
noble  resignation,  which  called  forth  a  burst  of 
admiration  from  the  visitors :  "  and,"  continued 
he,  "  He  forgave  His  enemies."  Now  he  raised 
one  hand  —  with  a  clanking  of  the  chain  —  and 
his  blandness  played  like  celestial  light  around. 

"In  charity  and  kindness  speak  for  me,"  he 
again  continued;  "but  only  so;  for  —  I  forgive 
—  them  —  all !  " 

Here  was  an  exaltation  in  the  moral  heights 
never  reached  by  Ezekiel  before ;  and  the  mem 
ber  stood  in  silent'  awe  before  him. 

"  Leave  me  now,"  said  he,  in  a  tone  of  ten 
der  sadness.  "  Leave  me  to  my  meditations." 

"  Bless   you,    sir ! "    said    Rachel,    with   emotion. 

"O!  .Mr.  P-e-1-t-e-e-r ! "  sobbed  the  Austere 
Member. 

Incapable  of  further  speech,  they  sadly  turned 
away,  and  left  him  to  his  meditations.  And  as 
they  went,  the  clank  !  clank !  clank !  of  the  heavy 
chain  upon  the  sounding  floor  followed  after 
them,  until  the  iron-studded  door  had  shut  them 
from  the  prison  Avails. 

With  their  exit  from  the  stage,  the  actor's 
part  was  done. 


218  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

He  had  just  untied  the  iron  bands,  and  re 
leased  himself,  when  the  jailer  reappeared. 

"What  is  all  this  nonsense?'*  the   jailer  asked. 

"  Do  you  call  it  nonsense?"  Mr.  Pelter  an 
swered,  with  pretended  indignation. 

"  Shut  up  !  you  sanctimonious  humbug  !  Do  n't 
try  to  come  it  over  me  !  How  did  you  get  those 
things  ?"-— pointing  to  the  chains  upon  the  floor. 

"  The    sheriff  brought    them    in." 

O 

"  What !  For  you  to  strut  and  work  on  peo 
ple's  feelin's  with  ?  " 

"  No ;    for   me    to   look   at." 

"  I  have  more  than  half  a  mind  to  put  them 
on  in  earnest,  and  then  see  how  you  '11  enjoy  it." 

"  Oh   no!     Don't    do    that!" 

"  You  're  a  cunning  scamp  !  But  I  "11  put  a 
stop  to  this  high-tragedy !  " 

Witli  this,  he  took  up  the  chains,  and  said  to 
Mr.  Pelter,  "  Come  this  way  !  It 's  time  to  lock 
you  up."  Saying  this,  he  took  him  to  a  cell 
and  locked  him  in. 

Thus  the  act  abruptly  closed ;  with  the  Star 
behind  the  drop. 

At  a  later   hour,    the  laughing  stars  of  heaven 

O  O 

peeped  forth  from  behind  their  curtain,  and 
through  the  window  and  the  diamond  opening 
in  the  door  of  Ezekiel's  cell,  winked  their  shining 
eyes  at  him,  as  though  they  had  enjoyed  the 
3cene.  Ezekiel  was  content. 


CHAPTER    X. 

THE    WHITE-FACED    WOMAN    IN    THE    TOILS. 

JOHN  said  nothing  to  his  wife  of  Ezekiel's 
arrest,  for  he  feared  that  any  mention  of  the 
man  might  raise  the  ghosts  so  hard  to  lay. 

She  was  now  entirely  restored,  and  John  was 
more  than  ever  anxious  to  contribute  to  her 
pleasure,  and  fill  their  evening  hours  with  agree 
able  amusements. 

When  the  curtain  dropped  on  Mr.  Pelter's 
play  in  the  city  prison,  hundreds  were  making- 
ready  for  the  rising  curtain  at  a  favorite  thea 
ter,  which  promised  on  that  night  unusual  at 
tractions.  John  and  Julia  were  among  the  num 
ber  so  making  ready. 

Rachel  and  the  Austere  Member  were  pre 
paring  for  another  act  in  the  tragi-comedy  wherein 
they  were  acting.  They  resolved  to  see  and  talk 
with  Joseph  as  to  Mr.  Pelter's  persecution  and, 
if  possible,  to  make  him  join  them  in  active 
efforts  for  Ezekiel's  release.  To  make  sure  of 
finding  him  as  soon  as  possible,  they  went  to 

219 


220  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

his  usual  business  places,  but  it  was  so  late  that 
they  did  not  find  him.  It  was  quite  late  when 
they  made  their  final  inquiry,  and  they  were 
tired.  So  they  found  a  place  where  they  could 
rest  and  refresh  themselves. 

After  they  had  rested  and  refreshed  themselves, 
and  when  they  were  about  to  start  for  home, 
they  were  astonished  to  discover  how  late  it 
was. 

"I  declare!  it's  nearly  eight  o'clock!"  said 
the  Austere  Member. 

"So  late!"  said  Rachel;  then  we  can  do 
nothing  more  to-night. 

u  No,"  said  the  member ;  and  they  started  off 
to  find  a  conveyance  home.  They  took  a  stage. 
As  they  passed  the  theater  where  the  unusual 
attraction  was  announced,  Rachel  caught  the 
member's  arm,  and  in  a  quick,  excited  voice, 
cried  out : 

"Look!" 

"Where?"    asked  the  member. 

But  Rachel  did  not  hear,  for  she  had  already 
pulled  the  strap,  and  was  getting  out.  The 
member  followed  her.  Rachel  caught  her  arm, 
and  hurried  with  her  to  the  pavement  ;  she  did 
not  stop  until  she  had  reached  the  side  of  the 
entrance  to  the  theater.  They  were  none  too 
soon. 

John  and    Julia  almost  touched   their   garments 


RACHEL   IN    THE    7VILS.  221 

as  they  passed  them.  Julia  was  radiant  to-night, 
and  while  they  were  in  Rachel's  sight,  she  gave 
John  a  coquettish  tap  with  her  flashing  fan,  and 
such  a  smile  as  made  Rachel  writhe  in  jealous 
tortures.  The  throng  soon  closed  around  John 
and  Julia,  and  they  disappeared  within. 

"  I  saw  them  getting  from  a  carriage  before  I 
left  the  stage  !"  said  Rachel,  almost  breathless  with 
excitement. 

"  Going  to  a  theater  ! "  exclaimed  the  member, 
in  a  tone  of  pious  horror. 

"  Yes,  and  with  his  mistress ! "  Rachel  ans 
wered,  with  a  hiss  of  rage. 

"Is  she  the  one — the  one  he  lives  with?" 
asked  the  member  quickly. 

"  Yes,"  said  Rachel,  starting  forward.  "  Now 
come  with  me !  I  must  go  in !  We  cannot  wait 
here !  I  must  see  them  when  they  come  out ! 
I'll  expose  them  here!  in  this  public  place!" 

The  member  was  most  willing  to  avail  herself 
of  this  excuse  to  visit  the  forbidden  precincts  of 
a  theater,  and  they  went  in  together. 

The  member's  eyes  began  to  wander  in  delight 
around  the  house  ;  and  she  could  not  but  think 
how  much  more  attractive  every  thing  appeared 
than  in  the  gloomy  places  of  rectangular  enjoy 
ment  to  which  she  was  accustomed. 

Is  it  any  wonder  that  pleasure  finds  more  vo 
taries  than  the  chilling  pageantries  of  woe  ?  Or 
9* 


THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

that  people  will  believe,  in  spite  of  all  anathe 
mas  of  creeds,  that  God  will  show  a  smiling 
face,  instead  of  a  vindictive  one  ? 

Rachel's  mind  was  too  much  occupied  by  her 
absorbing  passion  to  notice  anything  except  the 
objects  of  her  search.  These  she  soon  discovered, 
and  in  a  place  where  she  could  fix  her  burning 
eyes. 

The  gilded  balconies,  and  fluted  columns  ;  the 
graceful  draperies  of  the  proscenium  and  stage ; 
the  dazzling  lights  and  crystal  pendants ;  the 
sparkling  jewels  and  expensive  costumes ,  and 
even  the  favorite  actors,  in  their  mimic  robes  of 
royalty,  were  all  blended  in  a  kaleidoscopic  view, 
with  no  distinct  and  separate  forms.  Two  forms 
alone,  in  all  that  wilderness  of  beauty,  were  most 
fearfully  distinct  —  John's  —  and  Julia's. 

Until  the  first  act  closed  they  did  not  notice 
Rachel.  Then  Julia  took  her  opera-glass  and 
looked  around.  As  she  took  in  the  place  where 
Rachel  sat,  she  was  at  once  arrested  by  Rachel's 
look.  She  was  puzzled  for  an  instant  by  some 
thing  familiar  in  her  face,  and  then,  with  some 
excitement,  she  turned  to  John,  and  handed  him 
the  glass,  saying,  as  she  did  so  : 

"  There  is  the  very  face  that  troubled  me  in 
my  delusion !  See !  what  a  wicked  look  she 
has !  And  how  she  keeps  her  eyes  upon  us ! 
Oh  John  !  she  makes  me  fairly  shiver !  Who 


RACHEL   IN    THE    TOILS.  223 

ever  heard  before  of  an  embodied  phantasy  ? 
She  has  the  very  look  of  hate  that  I  saw  upon 
her  face  when  she  took  you  off! 

"  Nonsense  !  Julia.  Don't  get  excited  over  an 
imaginary  likeness  to  an  imaginary  form  ! " 

But  John,  though  speaking  with  a  show  of 
confidence,  could  not  avoid  a  feeling  of  unrest. 

"  Which  one  ? "  he  asked,  as  he  raised  the 
glass. 

Julia  described   the    place    and  person. 

"  Well !  she   is   a   starer  !  "    muttered    John. 

"  Did  you  ever  see  her  anywhere  before  ? " 
Julia  asked. 

"Never!"   answered   John. 

"Well!"  said  Julia,  "it  is  the  strangest  thing. 
See !  She  seems  to  look  at  you  with  fiendish 
hatred  !  " 

"Let  her  look!"  said  John,  bringing  down  the 
glass,  and  anxious  to  lead  Julia's  mind  to  other 
things. 

But  Julia  could  not  resist  a  feeling  of  uneasi 
ness,  and  as  the  second  act  commenced,  and 
through  all  the  play,  she  threw  occasional  glances 
across  to  Rachel.  She  always  met  the  same  im 
movable,  vindictive  look. 

John  turned  in  that  direction,  too,  when  he 
thought  that  Julia  did  not  notice  him  ;  and  with 
every  look  his  uneasiness  increased. 

"  They  see  me  ! "  said    Rachel   to   her   compan- 


224  THE   MISHAPS  OF  AIR.   PELTER. 

ion ;  but  she  spoke  without  for  an  instant  taking 
off  her  gaze.  "  See !  how  they  look  and  talk, 
and  talk  and  look !  They  see  that  they  are  de 
tected,  and  will  try  to  escape  no  doubt !  But 
they'll  not  escape!"  And  like  a  vicious  beast 
of  prey  she  watched. 

When  the  play  was  over,  Rachel  and  the  mem 
ber  started  from  their  seats  when  they  saw  John 
and  Julia  start.  Although  their  seats  were  on 
different  sides,  the  distance  to  the  door  of  exit 
was  about  the  same.  When  John  and  Julia 
reached  the  door,  and  passed  out  into  the  lobby, 
Rachel  and  the  member  were  immediately  behind 
them.  Before  they  reached  the  outer  entrance, 
Rachel  stepped  up  to  John  and  wrath  fully  con 
fronted  him. 

"  How  dare  you  flout  me  thus  ?  and  openly 
parade  your  shame  !  "  she  cried,  in  a  loud,  shrill 
voice.  u  Drop  that  huzzy ;  and  come  home  with 
me!" 

"  Who  are  you  ?  said  John,  in  a  sudden  blaze 
of  fury;  but  holding  back  hot  words,-  in  his 
anxiety  to  fathom  this  baffling  perplexity. 

"  I  am  your  WIFE  !  you  wicked,  perjured,  and 
deceitful  man  !  I  '11  not  submit  —  " 

Before  she  could  finish  what  was  already  on 
her  tongue,  she,  and  all  the  crowd,  were  attracted 
by  a  sharp  and  sudden  cry  of  anguish  from  the 
lips  of  Julia;  and  every  eye  was  turned  on  her. 


"  See  how  she  keeps  her  eyes  upon  us." 


RACHEL  IN   THE    TOILS.  21  i 

Her  face  was  very  white ;  and  her  eyes  were 
wide,  and  staring,  and  fixed  on  Rachel. 

"  That  is  not  a  specter ! "  said  she,  speaking 
slowly.  "  I  am  not  demented  now !  It  is  the 
face  !  the  very  face !  and  the  very  charge !  the 
monstrous  charge  !  O  God  !  What  is  it  all  ?  " 

John,  now  fearful  of  the  worst  results,  took 
off  the  bridle  from  his  tongue  and  let  his  fury  fly. 

With  one  arm  supporting  Julia,  he  pointed 
with  his  other  hand  to  Rachel;  and  in  a  voice 
which  broke  like  thunder  on  the  air,  cried  out : 

"  ARREST  THAT  HAG  !  " 

The  words  were  like  a  killing  blow  to  Rachel ; 
and  she  staggered  and  retreated  with  a  look  of 
horror. 

The   member   now  rushed   in  — 

"  How   dare   you,  sir !  "  said   she   to   John. 

"Another  one?"  cried  John.  "Are  ALL  the 
witches  out  to-night  ?  Arrest  her  also  !  " 

Julia  now  required  all  of  his  attention ;  for 
she  seemed  about  to  swoon. 

"  Make  way  there !  "  said  he,  as  he  almost 
carried  her  along  to  reach  the  open  air. 

John  and  Julia  were  accompanied  by  friends 
who  knew  them  well,  and  who  held  them  high 
in  their  esteem ;  and  when  they  heard  the  mon 
strous  charge,  their  indignation  was  not  long  un 
spoken.  They  turned  on  Rachel  and  the  mem 
ber,  and  demanded  their  arrest.  An  officer 


228  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

appeared  and  took  them  both.  John,  with  some 
assistance,  took  the  half-conscious  Julia  to  the 
carriage,  and  sending  a  messenger  for  his  phy 
sician,  started  for  his  house. 

Rachel  and  the  member,  confounded  by  the 
situation,  were  taken  to  the  station. 

When  Joseph  went  home  to  dinner,  on  this 
exciting  day,  Rachel  was  absent.  This  was  not 
strange;  for  she  was  often  absent  no\v.  He 
waited  for  her  till  long  past  the  usual  hour, 
and  then  took  his  dinner  solus.  After  dinner 
she  did  not  come ;  still  he  thought  it  nothing 
strange.  Until  nearly  midnight,  he  expected, 
every  instant,  to  hear  her  ring ;  but  the  still 
ness  of  the  house  remained  unbroken.  A  chime 
clock  on  the  mantel,  with  its  silver  tongue, 
rang  out  the  hour  of  midnight ;  still  Rachel 
had  not  come.  He  walked  about  the  room; 
then  sat  down  and  tried  to  read ;  then  he  rose 
up  and  walked  about  the  room  again.  So 
the  dragging,  anxious  hours  passed  ;  and  the 
chime  began  to  sound  like  rhythmic  voices 
speaking  to  his  fears.  He  did  not  attempt  to 
sleep,  but  walked  and  watched,  until  the  sun 
light  of  another  morning  slanted  through  the 
half-closed  shutters  of  the  room ;  still  Rachel 
did  not  come.  When  the  city  was  astir,  and  he 
could  hear  upon  the  streets  the  swelling  hum 
of  toil,  he  started  out  to  look  for  Rachel. 


RACHEL  IN   THE    TOILS,  229 

Where   should   he   go  ? 

It  was  too  early  yet  for  the  Ladies'  Board. 
Perhaps  he  could  gain  some  information  through 
Mr.  Pelter ;  and  what  Mr.  Pelter  knew  his  wife 
could  draw  from  him.  Witli  this  reflection  he 
set  out  for  Mr.  Pelter' s  house. 

Mrs.  Pelter  was  much  astonished  by  this  early 
call,  and  very  naturally  supposed  that  it  referred 
in  some  way  to  her  husband. 

"  O,  Mr.  Smith!"  said  she  at  once,  "why 
are  you  so  hard  on  him  ?  If  you  will  only  let 
him  off,  I  will  see  that  he  does  not  trouble  you 
again.  If  you  are  so  angry  that  you  will  not 
favor  him,  then  let  him  go  on  my  account.  You 
must  know  that  he  did  not  attempt  to  steal. 
It  was  his  prying  curiosity.  He  is  sometimes 
almost  a  fool;  but  he  is  not  a  thief!" 

"What   are   you   talking   of?"    asked    Joseph. 

"  Why,    of   my   husband,    to   be    sure." 

"And   what   of   him?" 

"  I   want   to   get   him    out   of  jail." 

"Out   of  jail!     What's   he   in  jail   for?" 

"  Do  n't  make  light  of  it.  You  sent  him 
there  1" 

"  X  2" 

"You!" 

"  Why,  woman,  what 's  the  matter  with  you  ? 
I  never  sent  your  husband  or  any  other  man  to 
jail!" 


230  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Mrs.  Pelter  was  so  puzzled  now  that  she  knew 
not  how  to  answer  him. 

She  knew  —  as  she  supposed  —  that  he  tvas 
sent  there  by  Joseph  Smith ;  and  what  reason 
now  had  Mr.  Smith  for  denying  it?  Perhaps, 
upon  reflection,  lie  had  determined  to  ignore  the 
whole  affair,  and  thus  avoid  a  public  scandal. 
This  seemed  to  her  quite  likely,  and  she  re 
solved  to  trim  to  this  new  tack. 

"  Well,"  said  she,  with  a  knowing  look,  "  sup 
pose  that  it  was  said  that  he  was  held  on  your 
complaint?  " 

"I    should    deny   it?" 

"Would  you?     Truly?" 

"  Most   certainly   I    should." 

"And   you   will  not    testify   against   him?" 

"  No." 

"  Nor   have   your   man?" 

"Why  no!     Of   course   not!" 

"  Will  you  go  with  me  and  say  you  have  no 
charge  against  him?  —  no  criminal  charge?" 

"  Most  certainly  I  will ;  for  in  truth,  I  have 
no  criminal  charge  against  him." 

"  Well,  you  are  a  curious  man.  But  you  are 
very  good  to  me  ;  and  you  may  have  a  hundred 
wives  before  I  '11  say  a  word  against  you ;  it 's 
none  of  my  business,  anyhow  !  And  Pelter 
would  be  better  off  if  he  had  not  made  it 
his." 


RACHEL   IN   THE    TOILS.  231 

"  Now  what  are  you  driving  at?"  asked  Joseph, 
in  a  new  bewilderment. 

"  No  matter ;  mnm  's  the  word,"  said  Mrs. 
Pelter,  with  a  finger  on  her  lips  and  a  twinkle 
in  her  eyes. 

"  Let 's  talk  of  something,  then,"  said  Joseph, 
"  that  I  can  understand.  Do  you  know  where 
my  wife  is?" 

"  Which  one?" 

"  Which  one !  Is  your  head  filled  with  maggots 
too?  Where  is  Rachel?" 

"  Why,   sir,   I  don't   know,   I'm   sure." 

"  I  thought  you  might  know  through  Mr.  Pel 
ter." 

"  Bless  you !  You  forget  that  Pelter  is  in 
prison." 

"  Rachel  may  be  in  prison,  too,  for  all  I 
know,"  said  Joseph,  gloomily. 

"  That 's  not  very  likely,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter, 
with  a  smile. 

"  Anything  is  likely !  Why,  woman !  if  you 
should  tell  me  to  my  face  —  and  seriously — that 
I  was  not  Joseph  Smith  at  all,  but  William 
Jones,  you  would  not  surprise  me  in  the  least; 
and  I  would  be  more  than  half  inclined  to  agree 

O 

with  you.  I  have  been  so  badgered  by  perplex 
ities  that  I  am  half  distracted!"  Saying  this,  he 
turned,  and,  muttering  to  himself,  walked  slowy 
off. 


232  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Mrs.  Pelter  looked  after  him,  through  a  gather 
ing  mist  about  herself. 

"  He  begins  to  muddle  me,"  said  she,  as  she 
went  about  her  work. 

Joseph  could  only  wait  until  he  could  make 
inquiries  of  the  ladies  of  the  Board.  He  did 
wait.  When  he  saw  the  Board,  and  learned 
where  Rachel  really  was,  his  distress  was  touch 
ing. 

O 

Late  as  it  was,  on  the  night  before,  when 
Rachel  and  the  Austere  Member  were  taken  to 
the  station,  a  messenger  was  sent  to  arouse  from 
sleep  another  member,  and  give  the  startling 
information  that  Joseph  Smith  had  secured  their 
arrest,  and  that  they  were  now  confined  in 
prison.  At  an  early  hour  in  the  morning  a 
special  meeting  of  the  Board  was  called,  to  take 
some  vigorous  action  as  to  this  crowning  outrage. 
They  sent  a  member  to  the  station,  to  interview 
the  prisoners  and  learn  the  facts.  When  she  re 
turned  and  reported  to  the  Board,  their  indig 
nation  was  most  furious. 

"Whose  turn  next?"  asked  one,  mounting 
the  rostrum,  and  gesticulating  wildly.  "  Is  this 
man  to  take  tis,  one  by  one,  and  plunge  us  into 
dark  and  loathsome  dungeons  ?  Where  are  all 
our  boasted  liberties?" 

Another  jumped  upon  a  chair,  and  like  a  rant 
ing  sibyl  on  her  tripod,  called  out  excitedly : 


RACHEL  IN   THE    TOILS.  233 

44  We  have  concealed  his  crimes  too  long ! 
He  has  imprisoned  those  who  saw  his  guilty 
acts,  but  we  are  free  !  and  we  know  his  crimes, 
and  now  we  must  proclaim  them ! " 

These,  and  many  other  inflammatory  speeches, 
wrought  up  their  minds  to  a  pitch  of  mad  ex 
citement,  and  in  the  very  heat  of  it,  Joseph 
Smith  appeared. 

"I  come,"  said  he,  with  his  hat  in  hand,  "to 
ask  if  you  can  give  me  any  information  as  to 
my  wife." 

"  Your   wife  !  "     repeated    one,    contemptuously. 

"  Yes ;    can    you    tell   me    where   she   is  ? " 

"  Hear  the  wretch  !  Pretending  ignorance  !  " 
cried  out  the  sibyl  from  her  tripod. 

"  Wretch  !  Pretending  ignorance  !  "  repeated 
Joseph,  in  a  daze.  "  I  ask  you  where  my  wife 
is ;  if  you  know,  please  tell  me ;  if  you  do  not 
know,  then  tell  me  that,  and  I  will  retire." 

"  You  know  that  she  is  in  prison  !  "  called  out 
another  member. 

"  In  prison  !  My  wife  —  in  PRISON  !  For  God's 
sake,  madam,  tell  me  what  you  mean.  How  can 
Rachel  be  in  prison?" 

"  We  know  it  all,  sir ;  do  n't  count  upon  our 
ignorance." 

"  If  you  know,  then  in  the  name  of  all  that 's 
merciful  tell  me." 

"  Who   sent  her   there  ?  " 


234  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

"  How  can  I  tell  ?  " 

"  O,  you   hypocrite  !    you   sent   her   there  !  " 

"J  sent  my  wife  —  to  prison!  Why  woman, 
yon  are  MAD  !  " 

"  Perhaps  you  did  not  send  our  member 
there?" 

-What?" 

-Nor   Mr.  Pelter  ?  " 

"  What  ?  " 

"  This  is  not  the  first  time  that  you  have  been 
before  the  Board  pretending  ignorance.  But  it 
will  not  save  you.  You  have  gone  too  far." 

This  Ossa  on  Pelion  was  too  much  for  Joseph's 
shoulders,  and  he  broke  down. 

"  Ladies,"  said  he,  in  a  tired,  sorrowful  and 
even  touching  voice,  "  if  you  but  knew  the  sad 
distraction  in  my  brain,  and  could  see  how 
sorely  I  am  badgered  by  perplexities,  you  would 
try  to  aid  me,  and  not  turn  me  off  to  wan 
der,  in  my  blindness,  to  paths  more  intricate. 
If  you  could  but  see  my  heart  and  feel  its 
heaviness,  you  would  pity  rather  than  revile  me; 
and  if  a  spark  of  woman's  tenderness  yet  lived 
among  you,  you  could  not  offer  me  a  stone  when 
I  cry  for  BREAD  !  You  have  no  hearts !  Good- 
day." 

His  manner  was  more  impressive  than  his 
language,  and  when  he  slowly  turned  and  went 
away,  he  left  an  awful  hush  behind. 


RACHEL   IN   THE    TOILS.  235 

Could  it  be  possible  that  they  were  treading 
blindly  in  the  mazes  ? 

One  said :  "  He  had  such  a  look  of  sincerity 
and  sadness  that  I  misdoubt." 

Another  said :  "  We  have  done  him  great  in 
justice,  if  we  are  in  error." 

The  monarch  of  the  forest  was  once  a  tiny 
sprout.  Convictions  grow  from  (questionings,  and 
an  innuendo,  if  artfully  suggested,  may  swell  to 
public  rumor,  and  even  change  the  face  of  em 
pires  before  it  dies.  Joseph  left  a  little  seed  of 
doubt  when  he  went  away,  and  even  in  that 
sterile  soil  a  rootlet  shot  from  it  and  commenced 
to  GROW  ! 


CHAPTER    XI. 

RACHEL  ON  THE   STOOL  OF   PENITENCE. 

JOSEPH  wandered  for  a  time  like  a  somnam 
bulist,  repeating  to  himself,  in  an  absent  way : 

"  Sent  —  my  wife  —  to    PRISON  !  " 

At  length  it  flashed  upon  his  mind  that  these 
charges  must  have  some  foundation,  and  that 
perhaps  Rachel  was  in  prison,  and  that  he  was 
falsely  charged  with  sending  her. 

This  thought  aroused  him  in  an  instant.  He 
made  inquiries,  and  at  last  found  one  who  knew 
of  the  arrest,  and  who  informed  him  that  the 
prisoners  were  perhaps  already  on  their  exami 
nation.  Now  he  hurried  on  until  he  reached  the 
court. 

His  wild,  distracted  look  attracted  all  who  saw 
him,  and  lie  forced  a  passage  through  the  crowd 
to  reach  the  front.  When  he  reached  the  little 
open  space  before  the  justice,  an  officer  in  attend 
ance  said : 

"  Here    he   is." 

All   looked  at   him,  and   the  justice    asked: 


THE   STOOL    OF  PENITENCE.  237 

44  Is   your  name  Smith?" 

44  It   is,"  said   Joseph. 

44  We  are  waiting  for  you,"  said  the  justice, 
44  and  the  case  lias  been  already  called.'' 

Joseph  did  not  seem  to  hear  him,  for  he  was 
looking  wildly  at  his  wife.  Her  eyes  looked 
wicked,  and  were  fixed  on  him. 

44  What  have  you  to  say  as  to  the  charge 
against  these  women?"  asked  the  justice. 

Joseph,  with  a  sudden  start,  turned  to  the 
justice,  and  with  a  look  of  great  amazement, 
asked:  "What  is  the  charge?" 

44  You  ought  to  know,"  said  the  justice,  in  sur 
prise,  44  since  you  ordered  their  arrest." 

44 1    never   ordered  their   arrest !  " 

44  What  ?  Here,  officer !  you  made  the  arrest,  I 
understand.  How  is  this?" 

44  He    did   order  the    arrest,   your   honor." 

"  You  're  a "  Joseph  commenced,  turning  on 

the  officer. 

44  Stop  !"  cried  the  justice;  44  where  was  it,  offi 
cer  ?  " 

44  In  the  lobby  of  the  theater,  when  this  man 
—  Smith  —  was  coming  out." 

44  I  was  never  in  a  theater  in  my  life,"  pro 
tested  Joseph. 

44  Enough  of  that,"  said  the  justice,  with  im 
patience.  "  Tell  me  what  you  know  of  this 
affair." 


238  THE   MISHAPS   OF   MR.   PELTER. 

"  I  know  nothing  of  it !  "    answered  Joseph. 

"Nothing?" 

"Nothing  !  " 

"Swear  him!"  turning  to  the  clerk;  and  the 
clerk  swore  Joseph. 

"  Now,  sir  !  "  said  tlie  justice,  "  tell  me,  on  your 
oath,  what  you  know  of  this  affair." 

"  I  know  nothing !  as  I  said  before.  I  am  in 
such  a  mist,  and  so  amazed  by  what  I  hear  that 
I  begin  to  doubt  the  existence  of  what  T  see 
before  me." 

"  Do  you  say  —  upon  your  oath  —  that  you 
know  nothing  of  it  ?  " 

"I    do,    sir." 

"  What  do  you  know  of  it  ?  "  turning  to  the 
officer. 

"I  did  not  see  the  fracas,"  said  the  officer;  "I 
was  called  in  to  make  the  arrest." 

"  Well !  "  said  the  justice,  turning  to  the  clerk, 
"  if  there  is  no  evidence,  let  these  women  be  dis 
charged." 

Then,  turning  to  Joseph,  with  some  severity 
he  continued  : 

"  You  should  not  make  complaints  and  author 
ize  arrests,  unless  you  intend  to  prosecute.  It  is 
trifling  with  officers  and  courts  of  justice." 

"But,"  still  persisted  Joseph,  "I  never  made 
complaint,  and  never  authorized  the  arrests ! 
There  is  some  mistake " 


THE   STOOL    OF  PENITENCE.  239 

"  I  've  heard  enough  !  Stand  back  !  "  Then 
turning  to  the  clerk  he  said :  "  Call  the  next 
case." 

So,  wondering  and  wandering  more  than  ever, 
Joseph  stood  back. 

Rachel  and  the  Austere  Member  were  at  once 
discharged.  As  they  passed  out,  they  were 
obliged  to  pass  the  place  where  Joseph  stood. 
Rachel  would  not  see  or  notice  him,  although 
he  tried  in  every  way  to  attract  her  notice. 
The  member  drew  up  to  the  fullest  height  of 
her  long,  lean  form,  and  turning  up  her  nose, 
passed  him  with  a  sudden  flirt  —  all  the  artificial 
flowers  on  her  hat  quivering  sensibly,  as  though 
in  sympathy  with  her  indignation. 

Joseph  went  out  after  them  ;  but  they  did  not 
stop  or  look  around.  He  tried  to  overtake  them, 
but  they  hurried  on,  and  all  at  once  they  dis 
appeared.  He  waited  for  their  re-appearance,  and 
walked  back  and  forth,  for  so  long  a  time  that 
he  at  last  concluded  they  had  found  another 
place  of  exit.  Then  he  walked  away. 

As  John  left  the  theater,  supporting  the  half- 
conscious  Julia,  and  listened  to  the  language  of 
her  violent  hysteria,  his  mind  was  filled  with 
curious  questionings.  What  he  had  heretofore  be 
lieved  to  be  the  creations  of  a  distempered  mind, 
now  came  in  form  and  specific  language.  Here 
10 


240  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

was  Julia's  white-faced  woman,  and  the  very 
charge.  Here  the  woman  claimed  him  as  her 
husband.  Here  she  tried  to  take  him  off  with 
her.  How  had  Julia  seen  all  this  in  the  pic 
tures  of  her  mind  ?  Was  there,  in  truth,  some 
spiritual  sense  too  subtle  for  our  gross  percep 
tions,  which  enabled  some  to  read  the  future  as 
an  open  page  ?  He  had  heard  men  talk  of  such 
a  thing,  but  he  had  regarded  them  as  dreamers 
or  as  charlatans.  Could  it  be  possible  that  his 
wife  had  that  intensely  electrical  temperament, 
or  spiritual  affinity,  which  enabled  her  to  read 
from  the  book  of  mysteries?  How,  otherwise, 
could  there  be  this  correspondence  of  her  pre 
vious  fancies  with  existent  facts? 

These,  and  others  like  them,  were  but  indis 
tinct  impressions  flashing  through  his  mind  as 
they  hurried  home.  The  physician  came  soon 
after  John  arrived.  He  expressed  the  most  con 
fident  belief  that  nothing  serious  would  result. 
He  gave  Julia  something  quieting,  and  she  soon 
dropped  off  in  sleep. 

But  John  was  anxious,  and  did  not  retire  ;  and 
he  had  no  sleep  that  night.  In  the  morning, 
when  she  awoke,  he  was  at  Julia's  bedside  to 
see  if  rest  had  strengthened  her.  Her  eyes  were 
bright  and  natural,  and  her  mind  Avas  clear  ;  but 
her  brow  and  lips  would  occasionally  contract, 
and  discover  her  perplexity. 


THE   STOOL   OF  PENITENCE.  241 

"  Well,  John,"  said  she,  "  I  am  all  at  sea 
again." 

"  Do   you   doubt   me,  Julia?" 

"  No,  John,  I  do  not  doubt  you.  If  I  had 
started  on  this  ground  of  trust,  I  should  not 
have  wandered  so.  Was  she  arrested?" 

"Who?"     "The   hag?" 

"  Yes." 

"  I  'in  sorry  for  it,  for  I  believe  she 's  crazy. 
Don't  laugh,  John;  'twas  you  that  made  Pelter 
crazj-,  and  I  do  not  believe  in  it.  He  is  simply 
foolish,  and  his  head  is  filled  with  her  insanity." 

"  I   am    sorry  for  her,  too,  if  she   is   crazy." 

"  Why,  she  looked  like  it,  and  her  frenzy  was 
most  unnatural.  If  it  is  ascertained  that  she  is 
insane,  that  will  account  for  many  things ;  but 
there  are  other  things  which  even  that  will  not 
account  for.  When  I  attempt  to  solve  the  riddle 
I  am  involved  in  a  score  of  mysteries,  and  here 
is  where  I  am  at  sea.  It 's  all  a  muddle,  John  ; 
but  I  do  believe  in  you  in  spite  of  all  the  mys 
teries  ;  perhaps  it  is  because  she  is  such  an  ugly- 
looking  woman,  when  I  come  to  see  her,  that  I 
do  not  think  it  possible  for  her  story  to  be  true. 
You  have  too  much  sense ;  yes,  and  too  much 
honesty.  But  is  it  not  strange  that  her  face 
and  charge  so  exactly  fit  the  face  and  charge 
so  prominent  in  my  delirium  ? " 

"  That   is   strange  —  and   I   have   thought   of   it 


242  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

myself.  Now,  Julia,  for  awhile  dismiss  the  mys 
teries,  and  when  you  are  up  again,  and  stronger, 
we  will  talk  them  over  and  try  to  sound  them. 
I  know  why  you  trust  me,  and  do  not  believe 
this  woman's  talk." 

-Why,   John?" 

"  Because  you  love  me." 

"Can't  we   love,    and   yet   distrust?" 

"  Yes ;  but  not  for  very  long.  Love  is  the 
cable  ;  and  distrust  the  hidden  rock  which  chafes 
it.  If  the  cable  wears  against  the  rock  too  long, 
it  will  surely  snap." 

If  there  was  a  shadow  on  her  mind,  it  was 
banished  by  this  blunt  and  impressive  figure. 
With  brighter  eyes  she  answered: 

"John,  you  are  a  splendid  fellow!  And  I 
never  loved  you  half  enough !  Let  us  keep  our 
cable  from  the  shoals,  and  above  the  fret  of  hid 
den  rocks." 

"  Amen ! "  said  John,  with  a  trustful,  thankful 
heart. 

The  morning  hours  flew.  So  absorbed  was 
John  in  the  sublimation  of  his  love,  that  he  did 
not  think  of  Rachel. 

When,  in  the  afternoon,  he  thought  of  her, 
he  suddenly  exclaimed :  "  I  must  be  off.  My 
evidence  will  be  required." 

"Let  them  go,  John!  —  let  them  go,"  said 
Julia. 


THE   STOOL   OF  PENITENCE.  243 

"  So  I  will,  if  they  do  not  deserve  a  punish 
ment  ;  but  I  must  go  to  secure  their  release." 

"  Go,    then ;   and  come   back   soon." 

He  did  go.  When  he  reached  the  place,  the 
court  was  not  in  session  —  it  had  adjourned.  He 
made  inquiries  as  to  the  women  whom  he  had 
caused  to  be  arrested. 

"  What   are   their   names  ? "    was   asked. 

"  I   do   not   know,"    he  answered. 

"  Describe   them." 

He    described   them. 

"  They  have  been  discharged  for  want  of  evi 
dence,"  was  the  business-like  reply. 

Not  displeased  at  all  on  hearing  this,  John 
went  home  again. 

When  Rachel  and  the  Austere  Member  so  quick 
ly  passed  from  Joseph's  sight,  they  were  on  a 
mission  which,  had  they  been  less  pious,  would  be 
called  a  vengeful  one  :  they  called  it  one  of  duty. 
It  was  to  state  their  grievances,  and  to  com 
mence  proceedings  against  Rachel's  husband  for 
the  crime  of  bigamy.  The  case,  as  they  stated 
it  to  the  attorney,  was  so  clear  in  every  cir 
cumstantial  detail,  that  there  seemed  to  be  no 
question  as  to  Joseph's  guilt.  And  when  Rachel 
made  the  necessary  affidavits,  she  did  not  dream 
that  the  concise  and  formal  statement  was,  in  all 
essential  features,  a  pure  fabrication,  containing 
not  a  single  tint  of  truth. 


244  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Until  all  this  was  done,  and  they  had  retired 
from  the  lawyer's  office,  and  started  home,  Ra 
chel's  indignation  and  her  anger  held  her  up. 
Then  reflection  came ;  and  she  began  to  tremble 
in  the  presence  of  her  work.  The  Austere  Mem 
ber,  seeing  her  uneasiness,  spoke  to  her.  Darker — 
darker  —  darker!  grew  the  oppressive  phantoms 
of  her  mind,  until  she  almost  choked,  and  gasped 
for  breath.  Whiter  —  winter  —  whiter!  grew  her 
face,  until  the  muscles  twitched  and  quivered 
with  her  great  emotion.  The  woman's  nature  in 
her  was  struggling  with  her  passions,  and  throt 
tling  them !  At  length  she  turned  to  the  Aus 
tere  Member,  with  such  a  look  of  piteous  despair 
as  would  have  most  profoundly  touched  a  heart 
of  less  austerity,  and  almost  wailed : 

"What  have  I  done!  O!  what — HAVE  I 
done !  " 

"  You  have  done  your  duty!"  said  the  member, 
without  a  touch  of  pity  or  a  relenting  look ;  and 
her  jaws  snapped  shut,  like  a  trap  of  steel. 

There  was  no  comfort  there  for  Rachel,  and 
she  took  away  her  eyes,  and  looked  within  her 
self;  there  was  no  comfort  there.  She  lifted  up 
her  frightened  thoughts  to  Him  who  says,  "  Ven 
geance  is  Mine ; "  and  to  the  example  of  His 
suffering  and  uncomplaining  Son  ;  and  there  was 
110  comfort  THERE  ! 

"  He   is   guilty,"    said   the    member,    "  not   only 


THE   STOOL   OF  PENITENCE.  245 

of  the  charge,  but  of  an  outrage  against  our 
liberties !" 

"  O,  unlucky  day!"  cried  Rachel.  "And  I 
am  his  accuser  !  " 

"Who  but  you  should  be  his  accuser?"  asked 
the  member. 

Rachel,  with  a  flash  of  passion,  turned  fiercely 
on  her  — 

"You!"  she  cried,  "and  your  associates  I  have 
goaded  me  to  this !  Where  are  your  hearts  ? 
Where  is  all  your  boasted  charity?  Your  hearts 
are  stone!  Your  charity  a  lie!  I've  had  enough, 
too  much,  of  it." 

Before  the  member  could  recover,  Rachel 
started  back.  She  hurried  to  the  lawyer's  office, 
and  with  breathless  eagerness  commenced :  "  Stop 
this  thing !  At  once !  I  withdraw  the  charge ! 
1  will  not  prosecute  my  husband!" 

Strong  ab  she  was ;  tearless  as  her  eyes  had 
been  ;  she  now  broke  down,  and  with  tears,  and 
moans,  and  self-accusings,  she  began  to  plead. 

"  My  dear  madam,"  said  the  lawyer,  in  sur 
prise,  "  you  should  have  thought  of  this  before. 
The  warrant  is  already  out,  and  the  sheriff  is  on 
the  way  to  make  the  arrest.  You  are  too  late." 

"Too  —  LATE!"  cried  Rachel,  starting  up.  "I 
tell  you  that  I  withdraw  the  charge!" 

"  But  you  can  not  Avithdraw  the  charge.  The 
charge  once  made  is  beyond  your  reach." 


246  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  But  I  am  satisfied  !  I  do  not  ivish  to  prose 
cute!" 

"  You  may  be  satisfied,  and  not  wish  to  prose 
cute  ;  and  still  you  can  not  reach  him  now." 

"Why?" 

"  Because  he  is  accused  of  crime,  and  he  must 
answer  to  the  public  ;  and  it  is  a  serious  crime." 

"  I  did  not  dream  of  this !  O,  sir !  Send  for 
a  carriage!  Quick!" 

The  lawyer  hurried  out  to  bring  a  carriage, 
and  Rachel  threw  her  arms  upon  the  table  and 
her  head  upon  them,  and  gave  way  to  lamenta 
tions.  The  lawyer  soon  returned,  and  helped  her 
to  the  carriage. 

"  Where   shall   he   drive  ? "    the  lawyer  asked. 

Rachel  gave  the  street  and  number,  then  add 
ed  :  "  Tell  him  to  drive  like  fury !  I  will  pay 
him  well." 

Then  the  door  was  closed,  and  the  horses 
sprang  from  the  cutting  lash,  and  bounded  Avildly 
on.  They  reached  the  house  in  time  to  meet 
her  husband.  He  was  preparing  to  leave  under 
the  escort  of  the  sheriff,  who  was  Availing  for 
him.  When  Rachel  entered,  Joseph  looked  up  at 
her.  A  sudden  flush  overspread  his  face,  then 
left  it  paler  and  more  hazard  than  before.  She 

•*-  oO 

stood  a  moment,  uncertain  what  to  do;  and  then, 
in  wild  abandonment,  she  threw  herself  upon 
him,  and  hung  upon  his  neck  —  turning  up  her 


•\If 

&. 
She  threw  herself  upon  him,  and  hung  upon  his  neck." 


THE   STOOL   OF  PENITENCE.  2-49 

own   white    face    to   his,    and    pleading   in   a   tone 
of   agony. 

"  Can  you  forgive  me  ?  Will  you  forgive  me  ? 
Speak !  For  mercy's  sake  !  And  tell  me  that  you 
do  not  curse  me  for  this  most  vmwifely  and 
unnatural  act !  Oh  I  To  think  that  my  hand 
strikes  this  cruel  blow !  And  that  my  charge 
sends  you  to  a  prison  -  cell !  But  you  shall  not 
go !  I  '11  swear  that  you  are  innocent,  and  that 
I  was  mad  to  call  you  guilty ! " 

"  Calm  yourself,"  said  Joseph,  gently  taking 
off  her  arms.  u  I  must  go,  Rachel.  But  you 
have  lifted  off  a  heavy  burden  from  my  heart. 
Have  no  fear  as  to  the  issue ;  for  I  assure  you 
solemnly,  and  call  God  to  witness,  that  i  am 
innocent  of  every  charge  you  ever  brought  against 
me.  This  must  appear  some  day ;  and  perhaps 
my  trial  may  bring  out  the  truth,  and  free  me 
from  perplexities." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  the  sheriff  interrupted, 
"  but  I  have  other  matters  requiring  my  atten 
tion,  and  if  you  can  abridge  this  interview  you 
will  much  oblige  me.  You  may  see  each  other 
as  often  as  you  please  hereafter." 

"  Must  you  take  him  ?  "  cried  Rachel,  with  a 
beseeching  look,  which  touched  him  sensibly. 

"I  must,"  he   answered,    "and   do  not  —  I  pray 
you  —  make    my  duty  harder    by   appeals    to    my 
compassion." 
10* 


250  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.    PELTER. 

"The  officer  is  right,"  said  Joseph.  "We 
should  not  keep  him  longer,  and  he  shows  his 
kindness  and  humanity.  Do  not  accuse  yourself 
too  harshly,  Rachel,  for  I  know  that  I  have  been 
made  to  seem  most  guilty  to  you." 

Then,  turning  to  the  sheriff,  he  said  to  him, 
"I  am  ready,  sir." 

Rachel  did  not  follow  them,  nor  cry  out,  nor 
speak  a  word.  She  could  not  follow  them,  or  cry 
out,  or  speak.  She  was  stunned  and  rooted  to 
the  spot.  When  the  door  closed  after  them  she 
stretched  out  her  arms,  and  groped  for  an  instant, 
blindly,  as  though  in  search  of  some  supporting- 
object  ;  then,  with  a  moan  most  piteous  to  hear, 
she  fell  down,  unconscious. 

The  servants  had  been  watching,  through  an 
open  door,  in  wondering  amazement,  and  when 
they  saw  her  fall,  they  rushed  in  and  took  her 
from  the  floor,  and  carried  her  gently  to  her  room. 
They  at  once  applied  such  restoratives  as  were 
at  hand,  and  in  a  little  time  consciousness  returned 
to  her.  She  remembered  everything.  Then  came 
long  hours  of  meditation.  When  these  were  over, 
she  arose,  and  there  was  an  unfamiliar  look  upon 
her  face  ;  the  rigid  lines  were  softened,  and 
there  was  no  sternness  in  it. 

"Thy  rod!"  and  "Thy  staff!"  she  would  oc 
casionally  repeat,  and  the  new  dependence  seemed 
to  strengthen  her.  Self-righteousness  was  dead. 


THE  STOOL   OF  PENITENCE.  251 

From  that  day  Rachel  was  another  and  a  nobler 
woman.  Her  conversations  were  no  longer  larded 
with  sanctimonious  formulas,  but  her  daily  life 
exemplified  her  faith,  and  made  her  grow  in 
gentle  charity. 


CHAPTER     XII. 

MR.    PELTER    LEAVES    THE    MORAL    HEIGHTS. 

JOSEPH   was   taken   to   the   city  prison. 

Mr.  Pelter  and  some  other  prisoners,  held  for 
trial,  were  in  the  corridor. 

Ezekiel  was  seated  at  the  little  table,  beneath 
the  grated  Avindow,  engaged  in  writing.  He  was 
employed  upon  a  new  Pelterian  tract,  where,  in 
exaggerated  language  he  gave  what  he  held  to  be 
a  picture  of  himself,  suffering  for  his  righteous 
ness.  He  was  so  absorbed  in  this  employment, 
that  the  entrance  of  the  sheriff  with  Joseph 
Smith  did  not  disturb  him.  Even  when  the 
sheriff  closed  the  door,  Avith  a  loud  and  clang 
ing  sound,  he  did  not  look  up.  He  did  not  look 
up  till  Joseph  touched  him  on  the  shoulder  and 
spoke  to  him. 

When  he  did  look  up,  and  saw  Avho  touched 
him  on  the  shoulder,  he  bounded  from  his  chair, 
and  Avith  a  frightened  look,  stammered  out  a 
broken  exclamation  of  surprise. 

"  I  told   your  wife,"   said   Joseph,  Avith  a  smile, 

252 


HE  LEAVES    THE  MORAL   HEIGHTS.          253 

"  that  I  would  try  and  help  you  out  of  this. 
Bat  now  I  am  myself  a  prisoner,  and  my  hands 
are  tied." 

"You!  a  —  pris-on-er  !  "  exclaimed  the  aston 
ished  Mr.  Pelter,  staring. 

"Yes,"  said  Joseph,  "and  yet,  I'll  help  you, 
if  I  can." 

"  Bless  me ! "  said  Ezekiel,  now  recovered  from 
his  fear. 

"Have  you  a  lawyer  to  advise  you?"  Joseph 
asked. 

"  Yes,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  with  his  importance 
growing. 

"  When  he  comes,"  continued  Joseph,  "  send 
him  to  me ;  I  will  give  him  information  that 
may  be  of  service  to  you." 

"He'll   be    here   to-day." 

"  Will   your   wife   be    here    to-day  ? " 

"  She  '11   be   here   with    the    lawyer,  sir." 

"  I  must  see  her  also.  What  does  your  law 
yer  say  ?  " 

"When  I  saw  him  first  —  at  the  station  house 
—  he  said  that  I  should  sue  you,  sir,  for  dam 
ages." 

"Indeed?" 

"  Yes   sir ;   but   I   had   damages    enough." 

"  You  thought  it  better  to  sue  for  some  re 
pairs,  no  doubt  ?  " 

"  Well ;   yes ;    't  would   be    more    reasonable." 


254  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Then  you  really  think  that  I  caused  your 
arrest  ?  " 

"  THINK!"  And  here  the  good  man  fairly 
snorted. 

"  Yes." 

"  I   know   you   did  !  " 

And  at  the  recollection,  Mr.  Pelter's  warlike 
spirit  began  to  stir,  and  frowns  began  to  settle 
darkly  on  his  brow.  At  this  exciting  juncture 
Mrs.  Pelter  and  the  lawyer  were  shown  in.  Mr. 
Pelter,  with  his  majestic  step,  went  forward  to 
receive  them.  After  mutual  greetings,  he  pomp 
ously  announced : 

"  The    Devil's   Emissary   is   at   last   in   bonds !  " 

"That's  good  news!"  said  Mrs.  Pelter.  "And 
now  I  hope  they'll  catch  his  Imps  —  not  ne 
glecting  those  in  petticoats ;  a  few  selections 
from  your  Board  would  be  most  wholesome." 

Ezekiel   groaned. 

"But,  to  leave  the  Devil  and  his  angels  — " 
continued  Mrs.  Pelter,  "  I  have  good  news  for 
you." 

"  Ah  ! " 

"  Yes.  There 's  something  wrong  about  this 
matter  of  your  arrest  —  I  don't  know  what  it 
is  —  but  there 's  something  out  of  gear.  Mr. 
Joseph  Smith  declares  that  he  has  no  charge 
against  you,  and  that  he  will  help  you  out  of 
this.  That 's  more  than  all  your  Board  has 


HE   LEAVES    THE   MORAL   HEIGHTS,  255 

done,  or  ever  will  do.  They  're  sharp  enough 
to  get  you  into  mischief,  but  when  you  're  caught, 
they  heave  a  pious  sigh,  and  there  's  the  end  of 
it," 

"  Why,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  "  he  's  the  very  nrm 
I  spoke  of  !  " 

"When?" 

"  Just   now." 

"  I   did   not   hear   you   speak   of  him." 

"  He   is   the   Devil's    Emissary  I " 

"  Pelter  !  —  you  're   a   fool  !  " 

At  these  familiar  words,  Ezekiel  collapsed. 
With  all  his  self-importance  gone,  he  sighed,  and 
meekly  took  his  "  cross."  The  quick,  keen  eye 
of  Mrs.  Pelter  soon  distinguished  Joseph,  and  in 
a  glow  of  honest  sympathy  she  hurried  up  to 
him. 

"  Why  sir !  "  said  she,  "  what  brings  you 
here  ?  " 

"  They  Bay"  said  Joseph,  with  half  a  smile, 
and  half  a  sneer,  "  that  I  have  two  wives. 
Some  such  notion  seemed  to  be  in  your  head 
when  I  saw  }^ou  last,  but  then  I  did  not  under 
stand  }rou." 

"Are  you  here  for  bigotry?"  asked  the  aston 
ished  woman. 

"Such  a  charge  would  be  much  nearer  to  the 
mark  than  bigamy,"  answered  Joseph,  smiling. 

"  Bigamy    is    what    I    mean,    no   doubt,"    said 


256  THE  MISHAPS   OP  MR.   PELTER. 

Mrs.  Pelter  with  a  blush.  "  And  that  is  why 
you  're  here  ?  Too  many  wives  ?  'T  was  hand  to 
wait,  I  s'pose,  for  the  ugly  one  to  go  to  grass, 
and  so  you  took  the  handsome  one  before  the 
reg'lar  time  !  Well,  I  "m  sorry  for  you  —  any 
how  !  " 

"WOMAN!"  said  Joseph,  in  the  voice  so  seldom 
heard,  except  when  battling  with  the  storms  at 
sea.  "  I  will  not  listen  to  such  language  ! " 

"  Mercy  !  mercy  !  mercy  !  Do  n't  snap  off  my 
head ! "  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  not  at  all  alarmed. 
"What  others  make  a  monstrous  crime  of,  and 
what,  no  doubt,  is  wicked  and  unlawful,  I  try 
to  mention  in  a  kindly  way,  because,  somehow,  my 
heart  is  with  you ;  and  for  this  you  snap  at  me  ! " 

"  Oh  woman !  woman !  will  you  never  under 
stand  !  All  of  this,  every  charge,  and  every  in 
nuendo,  is  a  wicked  lie  !  How  these  charges 
started,  what  they  mean,  and  how  it  is  that 
people  seem  to  be  so  positive  upon  them,  I  have 
cudgeled  my  poor  brains  in  vain  to  understand. 
If,  as  you  say,  your  heart  is  with  me,  then  let 
your  lips  take  counsel  from  your  heart,  and  not 
speak  against  me.  Your  husband  seems  to  be 
somehow  involved  in  these  scandalous  reports, 
and  if  your  heart  inclines  you  to  my  help,  find 
out  from  him  what  it  is  I  "m  charged  Avith ;  not 
the  general  charge  —  that  I  have  —  but  the  speci 
fic  charges.  Let  me  get  hold  of  something  that 


HE  LEAVES    THE  MORAL   HEIGHTS,  257 

I  can  grasp,  and  hold,  and  throttle  !  and  make 
an  end  of  all  this  mischief !  I  cannot  grasp 
these  shadows  !  and  if  I  attempt  to  stab  them, 
I  but  cut  the  air." 

While  he  was  speaking,  Mrs.  Pelter's  faith  in 
him  increased  till  she  believed  him ;  and  when 
he  stopped,  her  heart  was  in  her  hand,  as  she 
held  it  out  to  him. 

"  No  guilty  man  could  look  and  speak  like 
that ! "  said  she.  "  He  might  deny,  and  swear, 
and  all  that,  but  't  would  be  in  a  different  way. 
Now,  with  all  my  heart,  I  can  work  for  you ! 
I  started  in  tho  wrong  direction.  I  must  go 
back  and  start  again  !  This  time  I  '11  start  upon 
your  innocence.  I  '11  hunt  until  I  find  some 
clue.  I  know  where  to  look,  for  everything  has 
come  from  one  direction  !  " 

Joseph,  so  all  alone  and  friendless  as  he  had 
been,  and  so  frowned  upon  by  saintly  faces,  felt 
this  blunt  and  homely  speech  of  friendship  to 
the  bottom  of  his  heart ;  and  as  he  took  her 
hand,  his  lips  began  to  quiver. 

"  Keep  up  your  heart ! "  said  she.  "If  I  find 
the  mischief  where  I  expect  to  find  it,  I  '11  have 
some  satisfaction  on  my  own  account." 

"  Where  do  you  expect  to  find  it  ? "  inquired 
Joseph. 

"  In  that  Board  of  Gossips  ! "  said  Mrs.  Pelter, 
spitefully. 


258  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  I  wish  that  you  could  see  my  wife,  and  get 
her  away  from  them ;  I  know  that  they  have 
filled  her  head." 

"  Ah !      That 's    worth    knowing !     It    o-ives    a 

o  o 

starting  point !  I  '11  see  your  wife  ;  but  perhaps 
she  '11  not  care  to  see  me.  And  I  '11  see  that 
Pelter  is  no  longer  used  to  pull  out  chestnuts 
from  the  fire  for  them  to  munch,  if  he  is  a 
monkey !  I  '11  keep  him  from  that  Board,  if  I 
have  to  tie  him  to  my  bed-post  ! " 

Joseph  saw  that  he  had  a  sincere  and  earnest 
friend  in  Mrs.  Pelter,  and  his  heart  took  hope 
from  what  she  said. 

"  Now,"  said  he,  "  if  you  will  send  your  hus- 
hand's  lawyer  to  me,  I  will  tell  him  —  as  I  told 
you  —  that  I  have  no  charge  against  his  client, 
and  that  I  am  ready  at  any  time,  and  in  any 
place,  to  say  the  same  on  oath,  and  that  I  know 
nothing  of  his  arrest." 

"  Hear  that,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  with  a  show  of 
some  emotion.  "  You  work  to  get  him  out  of 
prison,  and  he  works  to  get  you  in!  I'll  take 
a  hand  in  this  affair ! "  With  this  she  turned 
and  joined  the  lawyer  and  her  husband. 

" 1  wish  that  you  would  go  and  have  a  talk 
with  Mr.  Smith,"  said  she  to  the  attorney.  "  He 
will  help  us." 

The  lawyer  went  to  Mr.  Smith,  and  Mrs. 
Pelter  turned  upon  her  husband. 


HE  LEAVES   THE  MORAL   HEIGHTS.          259 

"Pelter!"  said  she,  "you  claim  to  be  a  Chris- 
thin?" 

"  No  one  is  perfect,"  answered  Mr.  Pelter, 
"  and  I  am  a  child  of  sin ;  but  so  far  as  an 
angry  God  permits  us  to  be  good  —  I  trust  —  I 
am." 

"  You  may  be  a  child  of  sin,"  said  Mrs.  Pel 
ter;  "and  sometimes  I  think  you  are;  but  don't 
charge  God  with  making  you  of  any  such  ma 
terial.  Sin  is  the  devil's  clay,  not  God's.  If 
it  is  in  God's  nature  to  hate  anything,  that  is 
what  He  HATES  !  He  don 't  make  His  children 
of  such  hateful  stuff!  If  there  is  one  thing 
above  another  that  God  loves,  that  one  thing  is 
goodness !  And  when  you  say  that  you  are  as 
good  as  an  angry  God  permits,  you  say,  in  sub 
stance,  that  you  would  be  a  great  deal  better, 
if  he  did  not  keep  you  down.  Now,  Pelter,  it 
is  time  for  you  to  stop  these  slanders  on  the 
Almighty,  and  to  understand  that  God  tries, 
always,  to  lift  us  up,  and  never  tries  to  keep  us 
down." 

"  Oh,  what  blindness  !  "  groaned   Ezekiel. 

"  Do  you  suppose,"  continued  Mrs.  Pelter, 
"  that  God  is  pleased  to  see  you  and  a  lot  of 
other  meddlers  always  stirring  up  some  dirty 
garbage,  and  spreading  out  your  nostrils  to  take 
in  offensive  scents  ?  Is  He,  in  your  opinion,  so 
in  love  with  things  unclean  that  he  likes  to  have 


260  THE  MISHAPS  OF  AIR.   PELTER. 

His  children  smell  of  them?  Fudge!  Pelter.  It 
is  too  ridiculous." 

"What  are  you  driving  at?"  asked  Mr.  Pelter, 
more  than  half-ashamed. 

"  I  want  you  to  leave  that  crowd  of  scaven 
gers  ! " 

"What?     The   Board?" 

"Yes;  the    B-o-a-r-d  !  " 

"But   how   am    I  to    live!" 

"  Now — you  ''ve  —  spoken  —  it  !  " 

"What?" 

"  You  hang  upon  their  drabbled  skirts,  that 
they  may  feed  you.  Are  you  a  dog?" 

Her  tongue  wras  cutting  like  a  lash,  and  Mr. 
Pelter  winced  at  every  stroke. 

"  Has  Mr.  Joseph  Smith  ever,  in  the  world, 
done  you  an  injury?"  continued  she. 

"Yes!"  he  answered  —  glad  that  lie  had  an 
answer. 

"How?" 

"  Who   sent   me    here  ?  " 

"  He   did   not." 

"He  did." 

"  If  he  did  he  served  you  right ;  but  he  did 
not  I  say.  There  is  some  mistake  in  your  arrest, 
and  Mr.  Smith  is  doing  all  he  can  to  get  you 
out.  But  before  you  were  arrested ;  then  had  he 
ever  injured  you?" 

«  Why  —  no." 


HE  LEAVES    THE   MORAL  HEIGHTS.  261 

"  And  yet  you  spent  days  and  nights  in  watch 
ing  him.  You  fell  into  traps  —  bore  the  bites  of 
dogs  —  stole  into  his  house  —  poisoned  his  wife 
against  him — all  this  you  did  to  injure  him  who 
had  never  injured  you.  Is  this  the  way  that 
Christians  work  ?  " 

"  But  he  was  wicked !  "  protested  Mr.  Pelter, 
trying,  even  yet,  to  hide  behind  his  favorite  cover, 
from  his  growing  sense  of  meanness. 

"  When  did  God  make  YOU  his  flail  ?  Oh, 
Pelter !  Pelter !  You  have  been  wrong  in  this ! 
Besides,  he  is  not  the  wicked  man  you  say  he  is." 

"  But   I   saw   him  !  " 

"  I   tell  you   there    was  nothing   wrong." 

"  Sitting   with   a   woman   in   his   lap  ?  " 

Joseph's  champion  was  hard  pushed  here,  but 
she  held  her  ground. 

"  You  do  n't  understand  it !  There  was  noth 
ing  wrong,  I  say !  He  is  innocent  of  all  the 
charges  made  against  him,  and  it 's  coming  out 
some  day.  He  '11  be  right,  and  you  '11  be  wrong  ! 
He  has  no  other  wife,  that  you  have  talked  so 
much  about." 

She  spoke  with  such  assurance,  that  Ezekiel 
began  to  think  that  he  had  been  wrong.  Then 
he  thought  of  all  the  mischief  he  had  made, 
and  all  the  unjust  charges,  and  his  heart  began 
to  sink. 

"  Why   is   he   here  ? "    he   asked. 


262  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

"  You   brought   him   here  !  "    she  answered. 

"  What  —  is  —  the  —  charge  ?  " 

"  Bigamy  !  and  it  sends  him  to  the  peniten 
tiary  for  a  term  of  years  if  he  should  be  con 
victed.  This  is  your  work  !  and  the  work  of  your 
Ladies'  Board.  This  is  your  Christian  work  !  " 

Down  stepped  the  paragon  from  his  moral 
heights!  Down  dropped  his  head  upon  his  breast! 
Down  sank  his  heart,  until  it  cried  for  mercy 
and  forgiveness  ! 

Mrs.  Pelter  was  as  quick  to  help  as  she  was 
to  punish,  and  when  she  saw  Ezekiel  down,  she 
stretched  forth  her  hand  to  lift  him  up  again. 

"  Come  !  come  !  "  said  she,  "  do  n't  take  my 
words  too  much  to  heart." 

But  he  did  take  them  to  heart,  and  a  new 
illumination  filled  his  mind.  Now  he  saw  that 
all  of  his  shortcomings,  that  he  had  scored  against 
the  Lord,  were  written  on  an  open  page,  and 
charged  against  himself. 

"I  have  often  called  myself  a  sinner,"  said 
Ezekiel,  looking  up,  "  but  I  never  felt  like  one 
till  now." 

uAnd  I'll  venture,"  said  his  wife,  "that  you 
never  stood  so  fair  as  now  in  the  sight  of 
heaven." 

Her  speech  was  like  a  revelation  to  him,  and 
he  really  felt  himself  to  be  a  better  man.  Now, 
he  saw  in  his  long-neglected  wife  something  to 


HE  LEAVES    THE   MORAL   HEIGHTS.  263 

admire,  and  seeing  it,  and  being  "  Pelter,"  he 
must  speak  his  admiration. 

"  After  all  these  years,"  said  he,  "  I  have  just 
discovered  that  I  left  a  jewel  in  my  house,  to 
amuse  myself  with  artificial  gems." 

Who  is  too  old  or  faded  for  Cupid's  amorous 
pranks  ?  Long  athirst  for  some  kind  words  from 
him,  she  drank  these  eagerly.  And  now  the  place 
where  Mrs.  Pelter's  heart  had  been  began  to 
glow  again,  and  the  fluttering  beats  behind  her 
corset  gave  notice  that  her  love  was  tapping  to 
get  in  once  more. 

With  a  smile  and  blush,  which  even  gave  a 
charm  to  her  unhandsome  face,  she  dropped  her 
eyes  and  then  looked  up,  and  with  a  little  laugh, 
replied  :  "  La !  Pelter !  how  you  talk." 

Ezekiel's  flame  was  fed  by  this,  and  he 
stretched  out  his  arms.  But  she  eluded  him, 
and  with  another  laugh,  and  a  glance  at  Joseph 
and  the  lawyer,  said:  "Not  here  —  Pelter." 

Joseph's  case  was  brightening  now,  for  even 
Cupid's  bow  was  bent  for  him. 

u  What 's  this  ?  "  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  as  she  saw 
Ezekiel's  manuscript  upon  the  little  table. 

"  It 's  Pelter's  last !  "  said  he,  and  he  took  it 
from  the  table  and  destroyed  it. 

No  more  shall  Mr.  Pelter's  stirring  voice  be 
heard  in  the  ladies'  rooms !  No  more  shall 
Ezekiel's  blandness  beam  upon  the  Board! 


264  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

44  I  never  was  so  puzzled  in  my  life,"  said 
Mr.  Pelter's  lawyer,  as  he  came  back  to  them. 

"How?"    asked   Mrs.   Pelter. 

"  Why  Mr.  Smith  declares  that  he  did  not 
know  of  the  arrest  of  Mr.  Pelter,  and  had  no 
hand  in  it.  He  can 't  understand,  he  says,  how 
it  is  that  his  name  appears  in  it." 

"  Do  you   believe   him  ? "    asked   Ezekiel. 

44  Yes,  I  do ;  that 's  why  I  am  so  puzzled.  If 
I  did  not  believe  him  I  should  not  be  puzzled. 
I  can  *t  help  believing  him ;  and  yet  I  can  not 
reconcile  his  statements  with  what  you  have  said 
to  me.  Are  you  sure  that  he  appeared  to  make 
complaint  against  you?" 

44  Well,  no,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  "  he  did  not  per 
sonally  appear;  it  was  his  man  —  his  coachman." 

44  Ah !  you  did  not  tell  me  that.  You  always 
spoke  of  Joseph  Smith." 

"  Because  the  coachman  said  that  he  Avas  act 
ing  under  orders." 

"  The  coachman  said !  Why  it  may  have 
been  his  own  affair  entirely.  But  how  is  itxtbat 
the  name  of  Mr.  Smith  appears  upon  the  books?" 

"  Well,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  after  a  moment  for 
reflection,  "  I  did  not  think  of  it  before,  but  I 
gave  them  his  name." 

44  You!" 

44  Yes ;  they  asked  me  who  it  was  that  ordered 
my  arrest,  and  I  told  them  Joseph  Smith." 


HE  LEAVES   THE  MORAL  HEIGHTS.          265 

"  Then,  really,"  said  the  lawyer,  with  impa 
tience,  "  everything  he  says  is  likely  to  be  true  ; 
while  you  have  been  misled,  and  so  have  misled 
me  —  the  blind  leading  the  blind.  No  wonder 
that  we  stumble  and  fall  into  ditches." 

"  Things  are  coming  'round,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter, 
joyfully. 

44  I  did  not  dream,"  said  Mr.  Pelter,  "  that  I 
was  misleading  you." 

14  Well,"  said  the  lawyer,  "  we  shall  have  no 
trouble  in  clearing  you  ;  Mr.  Smith  will  secure 
that.  But  you  will  have  to  stay  here  for  a  few 
days  yet,  until  the  court  convenes.  I  don't  know 
but  it  serves  you  right  for  misleading  me.  If  I 
had  known  the  facts  at  first,  you  might  have 
been  discharged  upon  the  examination." 

44  Perhaps  I  do  deserve  a  little  punishment," 
said  Mr.  Pelter,  now  as  meek  as  Moses. 

The  lawyer  left,  and  Mr.  Pelter,  turning  to 
his  wife,  began :  44  Why,  it  looks  as  though  I  had 
been  blundering  in  everything.  I  can 't  hold  up 
my  head  before  that  man ! " 

44  Nonsense!"  said  Mrs.  Pelter;  44  the  best  of 
us  may  make  mistakes ;  and  many  a  man,  and 
woman  too,  has  done  what,  on  reflection,  would 
never  have  been  done.  This  is  what  the  preacher 
calls  the  weakness  of  our  flesh.  But,  after  all, 
it 's  only  one  among  the  marks  we  leave  on  our 
work  to  show  that  even  patterns  are  defective. 
11 


266  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Why,  Pelter,  men  would  all  be  gods  if  they  had 
no  blemishes ;  and  they  would  be  too  —  or  the 
perfect  copies — if  they  but  kept  themselves  as 
God  first  made  them.  To  confess  a  fault,  and 
then  to  ask  forgiveness  for  it,  is  a  manly  thing 
to  do ;  but  to  deny  it,  or  to  try  to  crawl 
around  it,  is  to  play  the  coward  —  and  cowards 
always  hang  their  heads.  Come  now,  let 's  go 
and  talk  with  Mr.  Smith." 

With  a  braver  front,  but  yet  with  hesitating 
steps,  he  followed  her  to  where  Joseph  Smith 
was  standing. 

"  This  good  man  of  mine,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter, 
"  begins  to  think  that  he  has  injured  you ;  and 
like  a  man,  he  wants  to  say  so,  and  ask  for 
your  forgiveness." 

This  blunt  speech  was  so  different  from  Mr. 
Pelter's  oily  approaches,  that  it  fairly  frightened 
him, '  and  he  did  not  recover  till  Joseph  offered 
him  his  hand.  Then  Joseph  said  to  him : 

"  You  have  caused  me  trouble,  but  it  is  easy 
to  forgive  you,  when  you  confess  and  honestly 
regret  it.  Now  let 's  try  to  understand  each 
other  better." 

Mr.  Pelter  took  his  hand,  but  he  could  not 
conceal  a  look  of  great  astonishment. 

"Why  don't  you  speak?"  said  Mrs.  Pelter  to 
him. 

"  Oh ! "   replied    the    great    exemplar,     "  I   and 


HE   LEAVES   THE  MORAL   HEIGHTS.          267 

those  with  whom  I  have  associated  have  been  as 
blind  as  bats !  We,  claimed  to  be  the  models  of 
the  world,  and  spent  our  time  in  thanking  God 
that  we  were  not  like  other  men !  No  one 
among  us  ever  thought  of  doing  such  a  thing  as 
you  have  done !  When  one  injured  us,  or  we 
thought  he  injured  us,  we  followed  him  with 
maledictions !  And  when  our  lips  repeated,  'For 
give  us  our  trespasses,  as  we  forgive  those  who 
trespass  against  us,'  in  our  hearts  we  asked  if 
the  fires  could  not  be  made  a  little  hotter  for 
our  enemies  than  for  the  other  sinners." 

"  Now  you  're  frank  enough,  at  all  events," 
said  Joseph,  with  a  smile. 

"  I  have  received  instructions  in  a  new  theol 
ogy,"  replied  Ezekiel,  looking  at  his  wife,  "  and 
a  better  one,  I  trust." 

"  Talk  your  matters  over  now,"  said  she,  "  and 
I  will  go  and  talk  with  Mrs.  Smith." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Joseph,  with  a  look  of 
gratitude.  "  I  believe  that  all  of  us  will  profit 
by  your  '  new  theology ;'  for  I  have  heard  your 
exposition." 

With  a  look  of  satisfaction,  the  energetic  wo 
man  left  them. 


CHAPTER    XIII. 

SOME    VERY     STRANGE     DEVELOPMENTS. 

RACHEL  was  much  surprised  when  she  saw  the 
card  of  Mrs.  Pelter ;  but  she  concluded  to  re 
ceive  her,  and  so  went  in  where  Mrs.  Pelter  had 
been  seated. 

The  meeting  was  embarrassing  to  both ;  but 
Mrs.  Pelter,  in  her  impetuous  way,  commenced: 
"  I  just  left  your  husband." 

"In  prison?"  Rachel  asked,  speaking  with  an 
effort. 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter.  "  And  my  husband 
is  in  there  with  him." 

"O!  What  an  awful  tiling  it  is!"  cried 
Rachel ;  and  she  hid  her  face  behind  her  hand 
kerchief. 

"  It 's  more  likely  to  turn  out  in  good,"  said 
Mrs.  Pelter,  "  for  now  we  begin  to  see  the  right 
of  things." 

"What  do  you  mean  by  that?"  asked  Rachel, 
looking  at  her. 

"  Why,  it  seems  that    Mr.   Smith  had   no  hand 

268 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  269 

at  all  in  Pelter's  matter,  and  knew  nothing  of 
it;  so  you  see  that  charge  falls.  Then,  as  to 
himself  —  your  husband  — and  the  charges  made 
against  him,  it  is  likely  to  turn  out  that  they 
were  all  mistakes.  My  lawyer  thinks  so,  any 
how." 

"  Mistakes !  Why,  woman,  Mr.  Pelter  saw 
him  - 

"  There  is  the  trouble ! "  interrupted  Mrs.  Pel 
ter.  "  Pelter  has  a  wcw-derful  imagination ! " 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  your  husband  did 
not  see  him,  as  he  said  he  did?" 

"•  Well,  he  begins   to  thinks  so  now." 

"  Who   begins  to  think  so  ? " 

"  Pelter." 

"  He  begins  to  think  that  he  did  not  see  what 
he  said  he  saw  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Then  how  could  he  so  mislead  me  ?  It  was 
a  wicked  thing  to  do." 

"  As  I  said  before,  it  was  his  imagination  — 
his  MKm-derful  imagination !  That  Ladies'  Board 
lias  practiced  on  it,  and  drawn  him  this  way 
and  that  way  by  it,  until  they  made  him  think 
he  saw  what  he  did  not  see  at  all.  That  Board 
was  determined  to  make  out  a  case  against  your 
husband,  and  they  made  use  of  Pelter  and  his 
wonderful  imagination." 

"  Would    you    have    me    understand     that     the 


270  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Ladies'    Board    has    been    trying    to    make    up   a 

?* « 

u  Eggs-zact-ly  !  " 

"  What  object  could  they  have  ?  " 

"  Why — as  they  say  —  it  is  their  mission! 
They  think,  somehow,  that  they  are  the  scourges 
of  the  Lord ;  and  when  no  one  appears  for  pun 
ishment,  they  look  up  some  one  to  whip ;  they  've 
made  a  fool  of  Pelter  a  hundred  times,  but  now 
he  's  found  them  out  and  quit  them." 

Mrs.  Pelter  saw  by  Rachel's  look  that  the 
Board  was  suffering  at  her  hands,  and  she  was 
sharp  enough  to  let  the  impression  work,  with 
out  speaking  more  of  it  at  present. 

"  Joseph  certainly  caused  my  arrest,"  said  Ra 
chel,  with  more  confidence. 

"  No ;  you're  mistaken  there,"  said  Mrs.  Pel 
ter,  no  less  confident. 

"  I  am  not  mistaken !  Why  do  you  think  I 
am  mistaken  ?" 

"  Because,  at  daylight,  he  came  to  our  house 
to  see  if-  Mr.  Pelter  knew  where  you  had 
gone." 

"'This  morning1  ?  " 

O 

"  This  morning.  He  did  not  know  that  Mr. 
Pelter  was  in  prison.  When  I  told  him  of  it  lie 
was  much  surprised.  He  was  in  distress  because 
he  did  not  know  where  you  had  gone.  He 
looked  as  though  he  had  not  slept  the  night  be- 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS,  271 

fore.  If  he  had  you  arrested,  he  would  not  come 
around  in  that  way  to  look  for  you." 

"  Where  was  he  the  night  before  ?  " 

"I  don't  know  that;  but  I  thought  from  what 
he  said  that  he  was  watching  for  you  here  all 
night." 

"  I  will  soon  convince  you,"  said  Rachel,  ris 
ing,  "that  you.  are  wrong  in  that." 

Here  she  rang  a  bell,   and  a  servant  came. 

"  Was  Mr.  Smith  at  home  last  night  ? "  she 
asked. 

"  Yes  ma'am,"   the  servant  answered. 

"When  did  he  come   home?" 

"  He  came  to  dinner,  ma'am,  at  the  usual 
hour." 

"  When  did  he  go  out  again  ?  " 

"  He  did  not  go  out ;  he  waited  here  for  you." 

"  How  long  did  he   wait  for  me  ? " 

"  All  night,  ma'am ;   he   did  n't  go  to  bed." 

"  He  went  out  in  the  evening  ? " 

"No  ma'am." 

"  But  I  saw  him !    I  saw  him  at  the  theater  ! " 

"  If  you  say  so,  ma'am,  of  course  I  '11  not  dis 
pute  it." 

"Then  he  did  go  out?" 

"No  ma'am  —  he  did  not.  We  all  noticed  it 
particular  —  and  how  he  walked,  and  walked, 
and  walked,  all  the  evening,  and  all  the  night, 
and  seemed  so  full  of  trouble." 


272  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

44  You  may  go,"  said  Rachel,  with  such  a 
baffled  look  as  made  Mrs.  Pelter  smile. 

44 1  know,"  said  Rachel  to  Mrs  Pelter,  that 
Joseph  was  at  the  theater,  for  I  saw  him  there ; 
and  yet  the  evidence  is  positive  that  he  was 
"here !  What  is  the  explanation  ?  He  told  me, 
just  before  the  sheriff  took  him  off,  that  he  was 
innocent  of  every  charge  —  and  he  called  God  to 
witness." 

44  Do  you  wonder  now  that  a  man  of  Pelter's 
wit  should  make  mistakes  ?  Your  husband  and 
yourself  are  as  much  at  sea  as  Pelter  ever  was. 
Did  you  ever  think  that  this  Board  might  be 
playing  on  your  imagination  ?  " 

44  No." 

44  Where  have  all  these  charges  against  your 
husband  come  from?" 

44  From  Mr.  Pelter  and  the  Board." 

44  Pelter  will  retract !  Does  this  not  leave 
everything  without  foundation  ?  " 

44  Except   as   to   what   I  saw." 

44  Taking  all  you  saw,  can  you  say  from  that 
that  your  husband  was  really  guilty  of  what  was 
criminal  or  wicked  ?  " 

44  Taking  what  I  saw  alone,  it  would  not  be 
sufficient.  I  took  that  with  what  was  told  me." 

44  And  they  took  that  in  making  what  they 
told  to  you.  Did  you  ever  stop  and  ask  yourself 
why  they  have  taken  up  this  thing  so  earnestly?" 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS,  273 

"  No." 

"  Can  you  understand  it  now,  when  I  suggest 
it?" 

"No." 

"  In  every  new  appearance,  have  they  not 
always  turned  the  worst  side  out  for  you  ? " 

"  I  never  thought  of  it  before ;  but  I  think 
they  have." 

44  Have  they  ever  tried  to  put  a  good  face  on 
anything  ?  even  when  there  was  a  doubt  as  to 
appearances." 

44  I  believe  they  never  have  ! "  said  Rachel, 
growing  more  excited.  "  But  I  never  looked  at 
things  in  such  a  way  before." 

44  Have  they  not  made  you  absolutely  see  some 
things  that  you  never  could  have  seen  without 
their  spectacles  ?  " 

44  It  may  be  so  —  it  is  so!  But  why  should 
they  do  it  ?  I  never  injured  them ;  and  Joseph 
never  injured  them." 

44  They  are   MEDDLERS  !  " 

And  in  that  one  word  Mrs.  Pelter's  case  was 
stated. 

Rachel  now  began  to  look  upon  herself  as 
much  more  guilty  than  before.  Joseph's  visit  to 
the  suspected  house,  from  which  she  took  him 
in  a  carriage,  might  have  a  proper  explanation ; 
and  in  fact  he  had  attempted  to  explain,  and 
she  would  not  hear  him.  If  Mr.  Pelter  should 
11* 


274  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTEK. 

retract,  where  would  be  her  charge  of  bigamy  ? 
She  would  not  have  a  single  fact  to  support 
the  charge.  Joseph's  presence  at  the  theater 
would  not  support  it ;  and  that,  too,  might  be 
explained;  besides,  Joseph  solemnly  affirmed  that 
he  was  not  at  the  theater.  How  weak  her  case 
appeared  in  the  light  of  Mrs.  Pelter's  strictures ! 
How  had  it  ever  looked  so  strong  to  her?  It 
must  have  been  the  magnifying  glasses  of  the 
Ladies'  Board !  She  had  felt  self-condemned  for 
sending  him  to  prison,  when  she  believed  him  to 
be  guilty ;  but  now,  that  he  might  be  innocent, 
her  condemnation  Avas  increased  a  thousand  times. 
Her  very  strength  of  character  made  her  fault 
appear  more  monstrous  than  it  would  have 
seemed  to  many  others,  and  it  crushed  her. 

"  Go  back!"  said  she  —  in  a  sudden  outburst  of 
remorse,  and  kneeling  on  the  floor  before  her 
visitor  —  "and  tell  my  husband  that  you  left  me 
on  my  knees  crying  for  FORGIVENESS  !  "' 

"  No,  no  ! "  said  Mrs.  Pelter,  lifting  Rachel  np. 
"  I  would  rather  take  a  different  message  to 
him  —  it  would  distress  him  less  and  help  him 
more  ;  besides,  it  is  too  late  to  go  to-night." 

"  What  message  would  you  rather  take  to 
him  ?  " 

"  I  would  rather  tell  him  that,  in  your  hon 
est  heart,  you  believe  him  to  be  innocent." 

"Tell   him   that!    I   do !    I   do ! " 


STRANGE   DEVELOPMENTS.  275 

"  And  that  you  will  not  associate  with  that 
Ladies'  Board." 

41  Tell  him  that!  God  knows,  I've  had  enough 
of  them!" 

"  And  that  starting  on  an  honest  faith  in  him, 
you  will  join  hands  with  me,  and  hunt  these 
flying  rumors  until  we  catch  and  strangle  them." 

"Tell   him   THAT!    I   will!    I   will!" 

"  Oh  why  have  I  not  talked  with  you  before  ?  " 

u  Because  the  '  Ladies '  did  not  like  me,  I 
suppose  ;  or  my  blunt  ways  of  speech.  I  think 
that  you  had  better  see  your  husband;  but  not 
to-night,  it  is  too  late,  and  you  need  rest." 

"  I  '11  go  to-morrow.  And  to-night  I  '11  think 
of  all  you've  said  to  me." 

Mrs.  Pelter  left  her  thus,  and  as  she  trudged 
along  toward  home,  she  indulged  in  self-congrat 
ulations. 

"  A  good  day's  work,  I  think !  "  said  she. 
"  Arranged  for  Pelter's  freedom  —  pitched  his 
idols  over  —  emptied  all  his  oil-cans  —  given  Smith 
some  comfort  —  and  put  his  wife  upon  a  smoother 
road  to  travel." 

"  This  is  an  ugly  business,  after  all,"  said  a 
member,  at  a  meeting  of  the  Board,  on  the  fol 
lowing  day.  "Did  you  say,"  (turning  to  the 
Austere  Member)  "  that  Mr.  Pelter  was  in 
chains  ?  " 


276  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  Yes ;  in  heavy  chains !  "  replied  the  Austere 
Member. 

"  They  do  not  put  chains  upon  a  prisoner  un 
less  the  case  is  a  very  strong  and  serious  one," 
the  questioner  continued. 

"I  begin  to  think,"  remarked  another,  "that 
Mr.  Pelter  has  not  given  us  the  truth  in  all 
these  things." 

"  I   think   so,  too,"    another   said. 

"How  can  you  think  so?"  cried  Miranda 
Trap. 

"  Because,  the  coachman  swore " 

"  But,"  Miranda  interrupted,  "  we  have  already 
said  that  the  coachman  was  a  perjurer !  " 

" 1  know  we  have,  and  I  begin  to  think  that 
we  have  said  some  other  things  that  we  should 
not  have  said." 

"Why!     What   do   you  mean?" 

"  I  mean,"  said  the  questioner,  with  spirit, 
"that  we  have  been  too  quick  in  making 
charges  !  " 

"  Why  !  What  has  turned  your  head  so  sud 
denly  ?  " 

"  Well,  I  began  to  feel  uneasy  about  some  things 
and  I  talked  them  over  with  my  husband  - 

u  With  your  husband  !  "  cried  several  voices  ; 
and  one  continued,  "  Are  we  to  take  men's 
opinions  in  our  affairs  ?  " 

"  On  such   subjects,"    said   the    Doubting   Mem- 


STXAATGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  277 

ber,  standing  stoutly  up,  in  self-defense,  "  I  think 
that   men's   opinions    are   better   than  our  own." 

This   was    heresy. 

"  Men's  opin-ious  I  "  said  the  Austere  Member, 
with  a  snort,  and  turning  up  her  nose. 

"  Well !  "  said  the  doubter,  not  to  be  put 
down,  "  you  have  been  taking  a  man's  opinion  — 
and  acting  on  it,  too  —  and  he  not  the  most 
prudent  man  —  in  my  opinion  !" 

"  Name  him  !  "  said  the  Austere  Member,  with 
a  frown. 

44  Mr.   Pelter!" 

"  A-hem !  But  he  is  one  of  us,"  said  the 
Austere  Member,  with  some  confusion. 

"  What  did   your  husband  say  ? "    one   asked. 

"  He  said  that  Pelter  was  a  blockhead,  and  that 
we  should  get  rid  of  him ;  and  that  his  piety 
was  all  a  sham  !  "  ( Here  Miranda  flushed  and 
looked  quite  furious.)  "  And  he  said  that  we 
had  pushed  on  Mrs.  Smith  to  make  a  charge  of 
bigamy,  when  there  was  nothing  to  support  it!" 

"  Humph  !  "   said   the    Austere   Member,    throw-, 
ing   up   her   head. 

"  Why  did  not  Mr.  Pelter  tell  us,"  continued 
the  Doubting  Member,  "  hotv  he  entered  what  he 
called  the  '  abode  of  sin '  ?  The  coachman  told 
before  the  court  how  that  was !  He  was  caught 
in  a  trap,  and  taken  to  the  house,  and  there 
examined  like  a  common  thief !  That  is  noth- 


278  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTER. 

ing  like  the  story  he  made  up  for  us  to  hear. 
And  my  husband  says  —  and  I  agree  with  him 
—  that  we  had  better  let  such  things  alone  ; 
and  instead  of  prying  about  our  neighbors' 
houses,  that  we  attend  to  missionary  business  — 
if  we  have  any.  Now,  I  have  spoken  !  " 

"  I  —  should  —  think  —  you  —  had  !  "  said  the 
Austere  Member,  in  a  rage,  for  she  was  the  nasal 
organ  of  the  Board  to  collect  domestic  scents. 

The  courageous  doubter  found  herself  support 
ed,  and  the  party  of  reformers  was  soon  respect 
able.  They  began  to  question  all  of  Ezekiel's 
reports,  and  the  husband  of  the  doubter  was 
thought  by  them  to  be  quite  sensible. 

The  discussion  waxed  furious  at  last,  and  the 
reformer's  ranks  grew  stronger.  Finally,  the 
Austere  Member  stood  almost  alone,  and  no  one 
would  have  dreamed,  to  hear  her  talk,  that  she 
ever  could  have  been  upon  the  moral  heights. 

Quivering  Avith  rage,  and  white  with  passion, 
she  called  to  the  gushing  vessel,  and  these  two 
together  left  the  ladies'  rooms,  never  to  re-enter 
them. 

So,  having  lost  its  nose,  the  Board  cared  no 
more  for  scents,  and  all  their  little  microscopes 
were  packed  awa}r.  Then  the  members  all  looked 
up  and  saw  their  telescope,  and  going  up  to  it, 
they  cleaned  off  the  rust  and  fixed  the  object- 
glass  to  take  new  images. 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  279 

On  that  same  day  the  Board  received  a  strange 
communication,  written  in  a  cramped,  irregular 
hand.  They  had  never  seen  a  specimen  of  Mrs. 
Pelter's  writing,  otherwise  they  might  have  known 
from  whom  it  came.  Without  remark,  or  com 
ment,  or  any  signature,  it  read  as  follows  : 

"Thou  shalt  not  go  up  and  down,  as  a  talebearer,  among  thy 
people."  —  (Lev.  xix.  16.) 

"  The  words  of  his  mouth  were  smoother  than  butter,  but  war 
was  in  his  heart  ;  his  words  were  softer  than  oil,  yet  they  were 
drawn  swords."  —  (Psa.  Iv.  21.) 

"  Whoso  privily  slandereth  his  neighbor,  him  will  I  cut  off." 
—  (Psa.  ci.  5.) 

"  In  the  multitude  of  words  there  wanteth  not  sin  ;  but  he 
that  refraineth  his  lips  is  wise." — (Prov.  x.  19.) 

"  A  froward  man  sovveth  strife,  and  a  whisperer  separateth 
chief  friends."  —  (Prov.  xvi.  28.) 

"Where  no  wood  is,  there  the  fire  goeth  out;  so,  where 
there  is  no  talebearer,  the  strife  ceaseth." — (Prov.  xxvi.  20.) 

"Judge    not,    that    ye   be    not   judged."  —  (Matt.  vii.  I.) 

"  For  he  that  will  love  life,  and  see  good  days,  let  him 
refrain  his  tongue  from  evil,  and  his  lips  that  they  speak  no 
guile."  —  (i  Peter  iii.  10.) 

The  royal  reveler  was  not  more  confounded 
by  the  writing  on  the  wall  than  were  the  mem 
bers  of  the  Board  by  this  strange  communica 
tion. 

"  Who  ever  thought,"  said  one,  "  that  all  of 
this  was  in  that  Book  which  we  profess  to  take 
as  our  guide  ?  " 

"  It  condemns  us  all,"  another  said.  And  all 
of  them  were  visibly  impressed  by  it. 


280  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR,    PELTER. 

That  Board  did  not  soon  forget  these  words ; 
and  even  they  began  to  grow  in  charity. 

Mrs.  Pelter  was  at  the  city  prison  early  in  the 
morning.  She  reported  her  success  with  Rachel, 
and  encouraged  Joseph  by  her  confidence. 

Ezekiel  had  slipped  and  stumbled,  through  the 
night,  as  he  tried  to  walk  in  her  new  way,  and 
felt  discouraged  when  she  came.  She  brushed 
the  oil  from  his  shoes,  and  gave  them  a  fiimer 
hold  when  he  stepped  out,  and  he  took  heart 
again. 

Rachel  also  came.  It  was  observed  by  Joseph 
that  she  had  never  been  so  gentle  as  when  she 
spoke  to  him  of  his  confinement. 

Now,  for  the  first  time  since  suspicion  and 
distrust  began  to  grow  between  them,  they  talked 
of  all  their  troubles,  and  tried  to  understand  each 
other.  Everything  was  satisfactorily  explained, 
except  the  story,  to  which  Mr.  Pelter  still  ad 
hered,  that  he  did  see  Julia  in  Joseph's  lap,  and 
the  strange  encounter  at  the  theater.  Joseph  still 
insisted  that  he  was  in  neither  place ;  and  he 
spoke  with  such  sincerity  that  Rachel  could  not 
charge  him  with  an  intention  to  deceive. 

"  Perhaps,"'  said  he,  "  even  this  will  be  cleared 
up  some  day." 

It  was  now  plain  to  Rachel  that  her  charge 
of  bigamy  could  not  be  sustained ;  and  in  spite 
of  the  conviction  that  her  own  rage  and  jealousy 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  281 

were  alone  responsible  for  the  present  situation, 
she  felt  relieved. 

After  this,  she  would  not  leave  her  husband, 
except  at  night — when  she  was  obliged  to  go  — 
and  then  she  would  return  on  the  following  day. 
So,  day  after  day,  she  came  ;  and  even  in  these 
prison  walls  they  both  became  more  free  in  all 
their  thoughts  than  when  surrounded  by  the 
walls  of  bigotry  and  self-righteousness,  which 
closed  them  in  from  charity. 

At  length  the  day  for  Mr.  Pelter's  trial  came. 
He  was  formally  arraigned,  and  plead  "  Not 
guilty." 

The  room  was  full;  for  Mr.  Pelter's  "labors" 
had  made  him  known  to  many,  and  they  Avere 
curious  to  see  if  the  great  exemplar  had  been 
guilty  of  a  crime.  The  coachman  Avas  present 
as  a  Avitness,  but  John  Avas  absent.  Indeed,  John 
had  not  been  subpoenaed ;  for  all  the  officers  sup 
posed  that  Joseph  was  the  one  Avho  made  com 
plaint.  John  did  not  know,  in  fact,  that  the 
trial  Avould  be  had  that  day. 

Mr.  Pelter,  feeling  certain  of  acquittal,  Avas 
serene  and  bland.  He  bowed  with  dignity  to  the 
presiding  judge,  and  to  the  sheriff,  and  to  the 
prosecuting  lawyer,  and  the  curious  audience ; 
then  he  sat  down,  and  spread  his  large  and  spot 
less  handkerchief  across  his  knee. 

A  jury  Avas  soon  called,  and  properly  examined, 


282  THE  MISHAPS   OF   MR.   PELTER. 

and  sworn  in ;  and  when  they  took  their  seats 
in  the  jury-box,  Ezekiel  bowed  to  them,  and  let 
his  blandness  shine. 

"  He  's  game ! "  said  one  in  the  crowded  room, 
"  and  comes  smiling  to  the  scratch." 

"Order  in  court!"    the  sheriff  cried. 

"  Your  honor,"  said  the  state's  attorney,  "  the 
prosecuting  witness  —  Mr.  Smith  —  is  now  in  jail, 
but  he  has  not  been  tried,  and  is  competent  to 
testify." 

The  coachman,  hearing  this,  pricked  up  his 
ears,  and  leaned  forward. 

"What  is  the  charge  against  him?"  asked  the 

O  O 

court. 

"  Bigamy,"   the  attorney  answered. 

"What's  that!  what's  that!"  said  the  excited 
coachman,  springing  from  his  seat. 

"  Order  !  "   cried  the    sheriff. 

The  coachman  left  his  seat,  and  silently  ap 
proached  the  sheriff,  and  in  a  whisper  asked : 

"  Did  that  lawyer  say  that  Mr.  Smith  was  now 
in  jail,  and  charged  with  bigamy  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  the  sheriff,  "  you  know  it  well 
enough.  Sit  down  !  " 

The  coachman  stepped  back  to  his  seat  again, 
but  his  face  showed  such  perplexity  that  those 
around  him  were  attracted  by  it. 

"  What 's   the   matter  ?  "    asked   one   near    him. 

"That    crazy    Pelter-saiW   he    had  two  wives!" 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  283 

replied  the  coachman,  "but  who  could   ever   have 
believed  it?" 

"Who   had   two   wives?"    the   neighbor   asked. 

O 

"Why  Mr.  Smith!  my  master!  To  think  that 
he  would  serve  my  mistress  so  !  She  's  a  angel, 
sir !  And  lie  was  not  a  bad  man.  I  '11  not  believe 
it  till  I  see  him !  " 

"You'll   see   him   soon;   they'll   bring  him  in." 

While  they  were  talking  the  court  directed 
that  Joseph  Smith  be  brought,  and  the  sheriff 
went  out  after  him.  The  officer  soon  returned 
with  Joseph  Smith  in  charge. 

"There  he  is!"  said  the  coachman's  neighbor. 
"Is  that  the  man  ?" 

Thomas   looked   at   him,    and   instantly   replied : 

"Who   ever   could  believe   it?" 

"Then   he    is   the    man?" 

"  Yes.  Let  me  out  of  this !  I  must  go  and 
see  my  mistress!  Poor  thing!  Poor  thing!  I 
must  break  it  to  her  easy;  for  if  she  hears  it 
sudden,  'twill  be  the  death  of  her!" 

Saying  this,  and  in  his  great  •  excitement  not 
thinking  that  he  would  soon  be  called  to  testify, 
he  rushed  out,  and  hurried  home. 

The  first  witness  called  was  Joseph  Smith. 
He  was  sworn,  and  took  the  witness-stand. 

State's  Attorney.  —  "Will  you  tell  the  jury,  Mr. 
Smith,  what  you  know  of  this  affair?" 

Joseph.— "I  know   nothing   of  it,    sir." 


284  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

States  Aity. —  "Nothing!  Why  sir,  did  you 
not  order  the  prisoner's  arrest?" 

Joseph.  —  "No   sir." 

State's  Atty.  —  "Was  he  not  found  prowling 
about  your  house?" 

Joseph.  —  "Not   to   my   knowledge." 

State's  Atty.  —  "Has  he  not  been  caught  upon 
your  grounds  at  night ;  and  was  he  not  caught 
near  your  stable,  in  a  barrel?" 

Joseph.  —  "Not  that  I  am  aware  of.  I  never 
saw  or  heard  of  such  a  tiling." 

State's  Atty.  —  "Well,  this  is  about  the  cool 
est  thing  I  ever  saw  !  At  the  time  of  the  pris 
oner's  arrest,  your  honor,  this  man  went  to  the 
station  house,  and  there  made  statements  which 
he  now  denies.  The  grand  jury  must  investi 
gate  this  thing !  " 

Joseph.  —  "I  did  not  go  to  the  station  house, 
and  I  knew  nothing  of  the  prisoner's  arrest  un 
til  he  was  in  the  city  prison.  I  do  not  believe 
that  my  coachman  knows  a  thing  about  it  —  I 
never  heard  him  speak  of  such  a  thing." 

State's  Atty.  — "  Why  do  you  speak  of  your 
coachman  ?  I  have  not  mentioned  him." 

Joseph.  —  "I  have  heard  the  story,  sir;  and  in 
the  story  my  coachman  is  a  character." 

State's  Atty.  —  "You  are  a  cheeky  fellow:  but 
you  shall  answer  for  all  this,  my  man ! "  {Turning 
to  the  attorney  for  Mr.  Pelte'r)  "  Take  the  witness." 


STRANGE   DEVELOPMENTS.  285 

Pelters   Atty.  —  "I   am    satisfied." 

State's  Atty.  —  (Furiously}  —  "Call  the  coach 
man  ! " 

The  coachman  was  called,  but  he  did  not  an 
swer. 

Sheriff.  — "  He  was  here  when  the  case  was 
called." 

A  Voice.  — "  He  went  home  to  break  the  news, 
he  said,  to  Mrs.  Smith;  and  to  tell  her  that  her 
husband  was  in  prison." 

Pelters  Atty.  — "  Mrs.  Smith  is  here  ;  and  she 
knows  her  husband's  situation ;  and  has  been  in 
prison  with  him." 

State's  Atty. — "Another  witness  trying  the  game 
of  dodge." 

The  Court  (to  the  sheriff). —  "Send  for  the 
coachman,  and  have  him  brought  before  the 
court!" 

Mr.  Pelter  looked  around  the  room  with  the 
greatest  satisfaction.  He  seemed  to  say,  in  every 
look,  "  See !  how  innocent  I  am !  and  yet  they 
have  imprisoned  me  !  " 

He  enjoyed  the  situation  even  better  than  he 
did  his  play  when  he  clanked  his  chains  in  the 
city  prison. 

Mrs.  Pelter,  who  sat  by  Rachel,  back  among 
the  benches,  quivered  with  excitement. 

"Hear!"  said  she,  as  Joseph  testified,  "I  told 
you  that  he  knew  nothing  of  it !  " 


286  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  But  what  is  the  truth  about  it?"  Rachel 
asked.  "  I  am  more  confused  by  every  fresh 
development." 

"  This  proves  more  than  that  Pelter  was  ar 
rested  by  some  other  person,  and  without  the 
knowledge  of  your  husband." 

"What   more?" 

"  Why,  do  n't  you  see  ?  If  it  was  not  your 
husband  who  saw  Pelter  in  the  barrel-trap  — 
and  Pelter  told  us  both  that  he  was  caught  there 
—  then  it  was  not  your  husband  who  was  in  the 
house !  And  it  was  some  other  lap  the  woman  sat 
in !  Whoever  that  man  was,  he  came  out,  and 
saw  Pelter  in  the  trap  !  " 

"  Can  that  be  possible  ?     Oil   hope   so  !  " 

"  And  if  that  is  true,  then,  do  n't  you  see,  if 
there  is  a  man  so  much  like  your  husband  that 
Pelter  could  not  see  the  difference,  perhaps  it 
was  that  same  man  that  you  saw  at  the  theater ; 
for,  remember,  he  was  with  the  very  woman ! " 

"That  would  leave  my  husband  clear  of  every 
thing!"  said  Rachel,  "and  show  that  he  had 
told  the  truth  in  everything.  But  how  can  one 
man  be  so  like  another  ? " 

"  There  you  have  me,"  answered  Mrs.  Pel 
ter. 

"Joseph  had  a  brother  —  a  twin-brother  — " 
said  Rachel,  musing,  "  who  was  so  much  like 
Joseph  that  he  was  mistaken  for  him  often  ;  but 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  287 

they  have  not  met  for  over  thirty  years  —  and 
Joseph  thinks  that  John  is  dead." 

"Why  have  you  not  thought  of  this  before?" 
asked  Mrs.  Pelter,  much  excited.  "  Why  should 
your  husband's  brother  be  more  likely  to  be 
dead  than  your  husband?  If  your  husband's 
brother  should  be  here,  we  would  have  a  key 
to  all  the  mysteries.  Then  it  would  appear  that 
your  husband's  brother  was  where  he  had  a 
right  to  be,  and  where  he  should  be  —  with  his 
wife!" 

"  You  reason  like  a  lawyer,"  answered  Rachel, 
admiring  her.  "With  your  clear  brain,  I  could 
have  solved  the  riddle,  and  saved  myself  from 
misery.  I  have  been  a  blind  and  foolish  woman, 
and  I  shall  not  blame  Joseph  if  he  never  can 
forgive  me." 

"  You  go  too  far  in  saying  that.  He  must 
admit  that  appearances  convicted  him,  and  that 
it  would  require  a  stronger  faith  than  mortals 
have,  to  hold  him  guiltless  in  the  face  of  them. 
As  soon  as  we  get  out  of  this,  we  must  search 
for  this  brother  of  your  husband." 

"  What  a  comfort  you  are  to  me ! "  said  Ra 
chel,  with  emotion ;  "  and  yet  the  ladies  told  me 
that  you  were  not  a  Christian." 

"  As  they  understand  it,  I  am  not,"  said  Mrs. 
Pelter. 

"  But   as   you   understand  it  ?  " 


288  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  I  try  to  be,"  said  the  honest  woman,  with 
a  look  and  tone  of  modesty. 

"  Ho\v    do   you   understand    it  ? " 

"  I   can   only   state    it   in    my   simple    way." 

"  And   that   is  —  ?  " 

"  To  love  God  and  trust  in  Him  :  and  to 
believe  that  He  loves  me,  and  is  not  a  monster 
to  be  feared." 

There  was  a  beauty  in  these  simple  words  that 
Rachel  had  never  found  in  all  her  austere  creeds. 

When  Thomas,  the  coachman,  reached  John's 
house,  he  was  so  blown  that  he  could  scarcely 
speak.  He  sat  down  in  the  kitchen  to  recover 
breath. 

"  Why,  Tom ;  what 's  the  matter  ? "  asked  a 
servant. 

Thomas   only   shook   his   head. 

"  What   is   it,    Tom  ?  "    another  asked. 

"It's  trouble!  that's   what  'tis,"  said  Thomas. 

No\v,  more  curious,  the  servants  pressed  him 
with  their  questions.  But  he  only  answered  by 
an  inquiry  :  "  Is  she  home  ?  " 

"  Who  ?  " 

"  Mrs.    Smith,    of  course  !  " 

"  Yes." 

"Where   is   she?" 

"  Up   stairs.     But   what   is   it,    Tom  ? " 

"  Do  n't   bother   me  !     I    want   to    think." 

They  could    not   get    another   word   from   him ; 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  289 

and  he  sat  there  silent,  until  he  had  determined 
on  a  way  to  "break  it  easy"  to  his  mistress. 

Then  he  left  the  kitchen  and  went  up  stairs. 
He  met  Julia  in  the  hall,  as  she  was  coming 
from  the  family  room. 

She  looked  at  him,  then  stopped  and  asked : 
"  What  is  it,  Thomas  ?  You  look  frightened." 

He  looked  down  upon  his  hat,  as  he  turned 
it  in  his  hand,  and  answered  slowly :  "  It 's 
hard  lines,  mistress." 

"What?"   asked   Julia. 

"  It 's  hard  lines,  I  say ;  that  about  your  hus 
band." 

"  John  ?  " 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

"What   about   him,    Thomas?" 

"  Why,   ma'am  — "    and  here  he   hesitated. 

"Why  don't  you  speak?"  said  Julia  with 
impatience. 

"It's   hard   to   speak   it,    ma'am." 

"  What  did  you  come  here  for  ?  To  try  my 
patience  ?  If  you  have  anything  to  say,  say  it !  " 

"  He 's   in   trouble,    ma'am." 

"Who?     My   husband?" 

"Yes,   ma'am." 

"  I  think  not,  Thomas.  Why  do  you  think 
he  is  in  trouble  ? " 

"  Because  —  they  've   caught   him." 

"Caught  him  I     How?     What  do  you  mean?" 


290  THE   MISHAPS  OF  MR.  PELTER. 

"  Why,  ma'am,  what  that  crazy  Pelter  said 
turns  out  true." 

-What?'* 

u  About  the  other  wife ;  they  've  got  him  in 
the  jail  for  it." 

"  Who    have    they   in   jail  —  Pelter  ?" 

u  Yes,    he's   there,    too." 

"  He 's  there  too !  Why,  do  you  think  that 
my  husband  is  in  prison?" 

kt  Yes,   ma'am;    I    know    he    is." 

Julia  turned  and  opened  the  door  just  closed 
by  her,  and  said  :  "  John,  come  out  here,  will 
you  ?  and  see  if  you  can  understand  this  man." 

John  came  out,  and  the  coachman  stared  at 
him. 

"  What   is  it,    Thomas  ? "    John   inquired. 

4>  Why."  said  Thomas,  staring  still,  "  how  did 
you  get  here  before  me  ? " 

"  Get  here  before  you  I  Why,  man,  I  have 
not  been  out  to-day." 

-The  Evil    One  is   in    it,    sir!'' 

"In    what?" 

"  When  I  'm  there,  you  are  there ;  and  when 
I  'm  here,  you  are  HERE !  There  you  are  ar 
rested,  and  in  the  sheriff's  hands ;  here  you  are 
with  your  wife,  and  not  at  all  arrested !  It 's 
too  much  for  me  !  " 

John  and  Julia  looked  at  one  another  in 
amusement;  and  perhaps  they  wondered  if  the 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  291 

air  was  not  infected ;  for  the  coachman's  talk 
was  more  obscure  than  Pelter's. 

"  Come  in  here,"  said  John,  turning  to  the 
room  again,  "  and  I  will  see,  if  possible,  what 's 
in  your  head."  They  all  went  in. 

"Now,"   said  John,   "where  have  you  been?" 

"  To  the   court,   sir." 

"  For  what?" 

"  To   give   my   evidence." 

"  In   what?" 

"In   the   trial   of   that   crazy   Pelter." 

"Is    he   on   trial?" 

"Yes." 

"  I  should   be   there,   then." 

"  You  was  there  !  " 

"What?" 

"  I  seen  you   there  !" 

"  You  do  not  clear  it  much,"  said  Julia  turn 
ing,  with  a  smile,  to  John. 

"Hold  on!"  said  John.  "There's  something 
in  the  fellow's  mind,  and  I  must  try  and  follow 
it."  (Turning  to  Thomas.)  "  What  was  I  doing- 
there?" 

"  The  sheriff  brought  you  in,  sir,  from  the 
jail." 

"Was  I  a  prisoner,   then?" 

"Yes,   sir." 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!"  laughed  Julia.  "How  very 
clear  you  make  it!" 


292  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"What  was  I  in  jail  for?"  continued  John, 
motioning  with  his  hand  for  Julia  to  keep  quiet. 

"  For  bigamy !  So  the  sheriff  and  the  lawyer 
said." 

This  answer  struck  both  John  and  Julia  in 
stantly.  Here  was  the  same  old  charge.  But 
now  some  other  man  was  in  John's  skin  to  an 
swer  for  it. 

"Did  you  look  at  me?"    continued  John. 

"  Of  course   I  did,"   said  Thomas. 

"  But  might  you  not  have  been  mistaken  ? 
Might  it  not  have  been  some  other  man  you 
saw?" 

"Will  you  turn  and  look  into  that  glass?" 
said  Thomas,  pointing  to  a  pier-glass. 

John  turned,  and  stood  before   the  glass. 

"Is  that  you?     In  there?"    asked  Thomas. 

"No,"  answered  John;  "that  is  my  image  or 
reflection." 

"  Well,"  said  the  coachman,  "  when  you  can 
find  among  living  men  an  image  as  like  you  as 
that  is,  then  I  '11  say  the  prisoner  might  be  that 
other  man." 

Such  an  image,  among  living  men,  flashed  at 
once  upon  John's  mind  ;  and  turning  quickly  to 
his  wife,  he  said :  "  I  wonder  if  it  can  be  my 
brother  Joe?" 

"Was  he  like  you?"    Julia  asked. 

"  Yes.     But   how    can   Joseph   be    in   prison   on 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  293 

such  a  charge  ?  He  was  a  very  pious  soul ;  and, 
in  fact,  he  was  my  pious  father's  pride,  while  I 
was  the  castaway  and  reprobate." 

"  His  name  tvas  Smith,"  said  Thomas,  wonder 
ing.  "  That's  what  they  called  him." 

"  His  name  was  Smith,  and  he  is  my  image ! 
It  must  be  my  brother  Joe!"  said  John,  with 
much  excitement.  "  Julia,  I  must  go  and  see 
what  this  trouble  is,  and  help  him  out  of  it!" 

"  I  hope,"  said  Julia,  "  that  he  is  not  guilty  of 
such  a  crime  as  Thomas  says  he 's  charged  with. 
But  I  tell  you,  John,  these  sanctimonious  men 
will  bear  close  watching  sometimes ;  they  're  no 
better  than  the  rest  of  us ;  and  too  often  not 
half  so  good." 

"  I  'd  like  to  see  a  better  saint  than  you  are," 
answered  John.  "  But  I  must  be  off.  Come, 
Thomas!" 

When  they  arrived  at  court,  Thomas  was  taken 
by  an  officer  and  brought  before  the  court. 

"  Is  that  the  witness  ? "  asked  the  judge,  with 
a  frowning  look  on  Thomas. 

"  Yes,   sir,"    replied  the   officer. 

"  I  am  more  than  half  inclined,"  said  the  judge 
to  Thomas,  "  to  send  you  to  the  lock-up!" 

"  For  -  wha  -  wha  -  what  ?  "  asked  the  trembling 
Thomas. 

"  For  having  left  the  court-room  when  you 
were  wanted  as  a  witness!" 


294  THE  MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

Here    John    stepped   forward. 

"  May  it  please  the  court,"  said  he,  "  my  man 
here.''  (indicating  Thomas)  "  in  his  surprise  and 
consternation,  did  not  think  of  his  surroundings, 
and  - 

"  Why  !  what's  this  ?  "  interrupted  the  aston 
ished  judge,  as  he  looked  from  John  to  Joseph,  and 
from  Joseph  back  to  John.  "Another  Proteus  !  " 

This  attracted  all  within  the  view,  and  others 
looked  from  John  to  Joseph,  and  from  Joseph 
back  to  John.  Now,  there  was  a  buzz,  and 
whispers  of  astonishment. 

44  It  is  the  KEY  ! "  cried  Mrs.  Pelter,  rising  up 
in  her  excitement,  and  speaking  in  a  voice  which 
could  be  heard  throughout  the  room. 

"It  is  my  brother  JOHN  !  "  cried  Joseph, 
standing  up,  and  looking  at  him. 

"  Yes,  Joe  !  you  're  right,"  said  John,  with  a 
look  and  tone  of  gladness. 

"  Order  in  court ! "  the  sheriff  cried,  and  all 
was  still  again. 

Now  John  continued  —  speaking  to  the  court 
again  : 

"  There  is  some  strange  mistake  in  this  affair, 
I  fear,  resulting  from  the  remarkable  resemblance 
which  you  have  observed  between  my  brother 
and  myself.  If  you  will  allow  a  little  time  for 
Consultation,  I  have  no  doubt  the  ends  of  jus 
tice  will  be  subserved  by  it." 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS,  295 

"  I  never  saw  a  resemblance  so  exact !  "  re 
plied  the  judge.  "  Take  time  for  consultation. 
I  can  now  begin  to  see  why  your  brother  Jo 
seph  so  persistently  denied  what  we  supposed 
to  be  the  fact.  Let  the  coachman  take  his 
seat." 

Thomas  took  his  seat.  John  went  to  Joseph, 
and  they  took  each  other's  hands,  and  made  such 
demonstrations  of  their  pleasure  as  their  situation 
would  allow.  Then  they  were  joined  by  Mr. 
Pelter's  lawyer. 

Mr.  Pelter  was  the  picture  of  comic  misery. 
The  situation  was  so  far  beyond  his  misty  pow 
ers  of  analysis,  that  he  was  incapable  of  cohe 
rent  reasoning.  As  though  he  might  find  some 
inspiration  there,  he  looked  up  to  where  his  wife 
was  standing. 

She,  with  parted  lips  and  sparkling  eyes, 
grasped  and  fully  understood  the  whole.  By  her 
side  was  Rachel,  with  hands  clasped  on  her 
breast,  looking  pale  and  anxious,  and  her  re 
morseful  soul  speaking  in  her  staring  eyes." 

"  O  !  "  she  hoarsely  whispered  to  Mrs.  Pelter, 
"  why  did  I  not  trust  my  husband?" 

Mr.  Pelter's  lawyer  called  the  state's  attorney 
to  the  consultation.  Everything  was  now  ex 
plained  and  understood  between  them. 

"  Then,'"  said  the  state's  attorney,  "  the  case 
against  Mr.  Pelter  falls." 


296  THE  MISHAPS  OF  MR.   PELTER. 

"  And  so  does  the  case  against  my  brother 
Joseph,  I  should  think,"  said  John. 

"  Undoubtedly,"  replied  the  state's  attorney. 
"  No  case  can  be  made  out  against  your  brother, 
for  he  is  innocent;  his  wife  was  entirely  mistaken." 

With  these  conclusions  the  conference  closed ; 
and  the  state's  attorney  addressed  the  court, 
explaining,  in  all  their  details,  the  curious,  and 
comical,  and  serious  mistakes  which  had  ended 
in  these  prosecutions. 

Joseph's  innocence,  as  well  as  Mr.  Pelter's, 
being  thus  made  clear,  both,  by  proper  orders 
and  proceedings,  were  at  once  discharged  from 
custody. 

"  Come  on  ! "  was  heard  in  a  sharp  and  snap 
ping  female  voice,  from  another  portion  of  the 
room,  and  all  looked  to  see  from  whom  it  came. 
A  tall,  lean  form  was  seen  making  long  and 
ungraceful  strides  for  the  outer  door,  and  a 
shorter  and  meeker  woman  was  following  after 
her.  Mrs.  Pelter,  from  her  position,  saw  them 
both,  and  she  quickly  recognized  the  Austere 
Member  of  the  Board,  and  the  now  broken  ves 
sel,  Miranda  Trap.  And  so,  without  our  bene 
diction,  they  make  their  final  exit  from  these 
veracious  chronicles. 

Mr.    Fetter's   eyes   at   last   began   to   open. 

"  Bless  me ! "  said  he,  "  who  ever  could  have 
thought  it!" 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  297 

John  and  Joseph,  arm-in-arm,  walked  out,  and 
waited  near  the  door  for  Rachel  and  Mrs.  Pelter. 

"  Oh    Joe ! "    said    John    with    a   hearty   laugh. 
"  To    think   that   I   should    have    to    get  3-011   out 
of  such  a  scrape  as  this!    Charged  with  bigamy! 
and   going   to   a   theater !     Oh,    Joe  !   Joe  !    Joe ! ' 
and  he  laughed  again. 

Here  the  impetuous  Mrs.  Pelter  came  through 
the  door,  and  made  a  rush  for  Joseph,  and 
caught  him  by  both  hands,  and  congratulated  him. 

"  Evidently,"  said  John  aside,  with  his  laugh 
ing  eyes  on  Mrs.  Pelter,  "  Joe  is  not  fastidious 
as  to  styles  in  beauty." 

"  Where  is  Rachel  ? "  Joseph  asked,  as  soon 
as  Mrs.  Pelter  gave  him  time  to  speak. 

"  She  's  just  inside  the  door,"  said  Mrs.  Pelter, 
"  and  won't  come  out  until  she  knows  that  \rou 
forgive  her." 

"  Don't  she  know  me  yet  ?  "  said  Joseph.  "  I  '11 
go  for  her,  then." 

He  went,  and  came  out  again  with  Rachel  on 
his  arm.  Her  face  was  pale,  and  her  eyes  were 
filled  with  tears ;  but  a  light  was  shining  through 
her  tears,  which  made  her  almost  seem  attrac 
tive.  Joseph  led  her  up  to  John,  and  formally 
presented  her.  She  blushed  and  stammered  like 
a  frightened  girl ;  and  John,  to  break  the  em 
barrassment,  took  her  hand  and  said : 

"  I  must  first  ask  }rour  pardon,  sister,  and  then 
12* 


298  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.   PELTER. 

I  '11  ask  you  and  this  wicked  Joe  to  go  home 
Avith  me.  Can  you  forgive  me  for  my  unbroth- 
erly  behavior  in  the  lobby  of  the  theater  ?  '7 

Iluchel  blushed  again ;  but  now  she  looked  at 
John,  and  admired  his  frank  and  smiling  face. 

"The  fault  was  my  own,  I'm  sure,"  said  she, 
44  and  I  ask  your  forgiveness,  for  insulting  you 
and  your  charming  wife." 

44  Charming ! "  answered  John,  with  another 
laugh,  "you  did  not  think  so  then!  ha!  ha!  ha!" 

44  This  is  Mrs.  Pelter,  John,"  interrupted  Jo 
seph,  as  he  presented  his  courageous  champion. 

44  Ah  !  "  said  John,  with  a  twinkle  in  his  eye, 
44 1  have  entertained  }rour  husband  I  believe.  I 
gave  him  the  run  of  my  gooseberry  bushes,  and 
let  him  play  with  Leo." 

Now  it  Avas  time  for  Mrs.  Pelter's  blushes ; 
but  for  all  of  that  she  admired  John. 

44  He   made  you   trouble,  sir,  I  know,"  said  she. 

44  Oh,  do  n't  mention  it,"  said  John.  "  He 
took  me  once  to  his  Ladies'  Board,  and  there  I 
met  a  gushing  maiden " 

44  What's  that?"   cried  Joseph. 

44  Why,  Pelter  took  me  to  his  4  Board,'  and 
they  wanted  me  to  tell  about  the  idol  worship 
ers —  it  was  rather  in  your  line,  that  —  and  now, 
by  Jove,  though  I  never  thought  of  it  before, 
they  must  have  thought  that  John  —  the  bad  boy 
—  was  the  missionary,  Joseph  !  " 


STRANGE   DEVELOPMENTS.  299 

"But  who  was  the  gushing  maiden?"  inquired 
Joseph,  smiling  at  his  brother's  raillery. 

"The  'maiden  all  forlorn'?  They  called  her 
Trap  —  Miranda  Trap.  I  met  her  after  that  one 
day  upon  the  street,  and  she  wouldn't  look  at 
me!  And  Pelter  said  —  he  was  with  her  —  that 
I  had  another  w00-nian!" 

"Who  was  with  you?"   Joseph  asked. 

"Why,   Julia  —  my   wife." 

"  Do  you  know,"  said  Joseph,  "  that  those 
women  have  been  swearing  that  I  was  the  one 
who  made  that  visit  to  the  Board ;  and  that  I 
was  walking  with  your  wife  that  day?" 

"Oh,  Joe!  you  wicked  fellow!"  responded 
John,  with  a  wink  at  Mrs.  Pelter. 

"Rachel!"  said  Joseph,  suddenly,  "where  is 
Miranda's  letter?  That's  John's." 

"Joseph!"  cried  Rachel,  in  real  distress,  "if 
you  can  forgive  my  folly,  let 's  go  home." 

John,  seeing  her  distress,  dropped  his  banter 
ing  tone,  and  said:  "No!  You  must  all  go  home 
with  me.  You'll  find  a  sailor's  welcome  in  his 
house  and  heart.  And  I  want  you  to  see  my 
wife;  for  she  is  a  charming  woman!" 

"Not  to-day!  not  to-day!"  said  Rachel.  "I 
must  go  home  !  " 

"  Give  me  your  street  and  number,  then,"  said 
John  to  Joseph,  "  and  I  will  bring  my  wife 
around  to  your  house." 


800  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTER. 

Joseph  gave  the  street  and  number,  and  with 
this  they  parted. 

When  John  reached  home  he  astonished  Julia 
by  an  explanation  of  all  the  strange  mistakes. 

"  Then,"  said  Julia,  u  it  was  your  brother's 
wife  who  watched  us  at  the  theater,  and  made 
that  charge  upon  you  in  the  lobby?" 

"  Yes,"  said  John;  "  she  thought  'twas  Joe 
she  saw  with  you." 

"Well,  I  am  sorry  for  her,  for  I  know  some 
thing  of  the  stings  of  jealousy." 

"  I  am  sorry  for  her  too,  for  she  takes  the 
blame  of  everything  upon  herself.  We  must  go 
over  there  to-morrow,  and  you  must  tiy  to  com 
fort  her." 

"  Yes.  Then  everything  is  clear,  except  my 
curious  fancy  as  to  Joseph's  wife  coming  here 
for  you,  and  your  stealing  off  to  her." 

"And  since  that  is  a  fancy,  it  can  not  be 
cleared,"  said  John. 

On  the  following  day  they  drove  to  Joseph's 
house.  Rachel  was  composed,  and  almost  cheer 
ful  ;  and  Julia's  manner  was  so  friendly  and  caress 
ing,  that  Rachel  was  at  once  quite  charmed. 

When  Julia  was  introduced  to  Joseph,  he 
blushed,  and  was  so  sensibly  confused  that  John 
remarked  it. 

"  It  ?s  all  right  now,"  said  Rachel,  as  she  saw 
Joseph's  blush,  and  put  her  hand  on  Julia's 


STRANGE  DEVELOPMENTS.  30l 

shoulder ;  "  but  you  must  confess,  when  I  did 
not  know  3^011,  and  saw  you  take  Joseph  in 
your  carriage — " 

"Take  Joseph  in  my  carriage!"  repeated  Julia. 

"  You  took  me  home  to  lunch  one  day,  you 
know,"  said  Joseph,  still  uneasy. 

"What!"  cried  Julia,  "and  asked  you  to  take 
me  to  the  theater?" 

"Yes." 

"Was   that  YOU?" 

"  Yes." 

"  I    thought    't  was    John  !  " 

Here  Julia  laughed,  and  laughed,  and  laughed, 
until  the  tears  ran  down  her  face  ;  arid  then  she 
held  her  sides,  and  cried,  "O  dear!  O  dear!" 
and  laughed  again. 

"What  is  it,  Julia?  What  is  it,  Joe?"  in 
quired  John.  "  If  there  's  anything  so  funny  let 
us  all  enjoy  it." 

"And  I  asked  you  to  my  boudoir?"  continued 
Julia,  ready  to  explode  again.  "  You  thought  it 
rather  free  in  a  perfect  stranger,  I  suppose.  No 
wonder  !  Ha  !  ha  I  ha  !  " 

Then  Joseph  told  the  story,  and  John  began 
to  laugh. 

"  What  did  you  think,  Joe  ?  Did  she  scare 
you  ?  'T  was  well  your  name  was  Joseph ! " 

"  I  thought  I  'd  better  get  away,"  said  Joseph, 
"and  —  I  did!" 


302  THE   MISHAPS   OF  MR.    PELTEK. 

"Did    you   pull   your   boots    off?" 

"  Yes." 

"  And  walk  out  slyly  in  your   stocking   feet?" 

"  Yes." 

44  And  your  wife  was  at  the  door  to  take  you 
home?" 

"  Yes." 

"And.    then    you    caught   il,  ?  " 

"Well  — ra-ther  !" 

"Why,  I  made  my  wife  believe — and  I  be 
lieved  it,  too  —  that  that  was  all  her  fancy." 

Then  Joseph,  the  pride  of  Israel's  heart,  and 
John,  the  unregenerate,  sat  down  to  talk  to 
gether. 

Julia  said  to  Rachel,  as  they  sat  down  to 
gether  :  "  All  this  would  make  a  curious  story,  if 
written  out  and  printed  in  a  book." 

And  so  thought  the  author  of  these  Chronicles 
when  he  commenced  to  write. 


WofLd 


AND  OTHER  SKETCHES. 

By  BENJAMIN  F.  TAYLOR, 

Author  of  "  Old-Time  Pictures  and  Sheaves  of  Khyme  "     Illustrated. 
1  vol.  12mo.     Price,  $1.50. 


PUBLISHED  BY  8.  G.  GRIGGS  &  CO.,  CHICAGO. 


"Reader,  do  you  want  to  laugh?   i>o  you  want  to  cry?  DO 

yoa  want  to  climb  the  Jacob's  ladder  of  imagination,  and  dwell  among  the 
Jouds  of  fancy  for  a  little  while .\ at  least?  Do  you?  Then  get  B.  F. 
Taylor's  World  on  Wheels,  read  it,'  and  experience  sensations  you  never 
felt  before  I  u*  *  It  is  a  book  of  '  word  pictures,' a  string  of  pearls,  the 
very  poesy  of  thought." — The  Christian,  St.  Louis. 


"THE  GREEN  TRAVELER."— (See  page  62.) 

Philadelphia  Presbyterian  says:   "Full  of  humor,  and  sharp  as 
a  Damascus  blade.-'' 


PUBLISHED  BY  S.  C.  GRIGCS  &  CO.,  CHICAGO. 

A  Work  of  Great  Interest  to  Clergymen,  Lawyers,  Teach 
ers,  and  all  Public  Speakers. 


A  MANUAL  OF  GESTURE, 

WITH    OVER   1OO   FIGURES, 

Embracing  a  Complete  System  of  Notation,  together  with  the  Prin 
ciples  of  Interpretation,  and  Selections  for  Practice. 

BY  ALBETCT  M.  BACCTJf,  A.M., 

Professor  of  Elocution. 

26O  parj<-s.      -  -      Price,  $1.75 

Prof.  William  Hussell,  the  eminent  Elocutionist  of  New 
England :  "  Your  Manual  is  so  thoroughly  practical,  and  so  care 
fully  condensed,  that  it  must  be  an  invaluable  aid  to  every  faithful 
student  of  true  eloquence.  No  one  who  consults  your  compend 
for  his  personal  guidance  can  form  a  false  or  inappropriate  style  of 
action,  whether  as  regards  popular  or  professional  oratory,  and  the 
study  which  receives  the  union  of  .true  art  and  the  grace  of  culti 
vated  nature." 

7>.  C.  Davis,  Prof,  of  Elocution,  Union  Christian  College,  Ind.: 
"  Admirably  adapted  to  students  first  beginning  the  study,  as  well 
as  to  the  most  advanced." 

Rev.  TZdward  Lo1^nsbe^'1J,  President  of  Griswold  College. 
Iowa  :  "  His  system  is  very  simple  and  natural ;  his  interpretation 
exceedingly  beautiful  and  effective." 

The  Chicago  Pulpit:  "It  seems  expressly  arranged  for 
the  help  of  those  who  study  alone,  and  have  undertaken  self-instruc 
tion  in  the  art  of  persuasive  delivery.  We  think  that  the  work  in 
the  hands  of  our  ministry,  well  studied,  would  have  the  effect  of 
emphasizing  the  living  words  of  the  gospel  all  over  the  land,  and 
making  them  two-edged  with  meaning." 

The  United  Presbyterian,  Pittsburgh :  "It  is  thoroughly 
practical,  and  its  few  general  principles  easily  understood.  Over 
100  figures  help  to  understand  the  rules  for  gesticulation.  They  will 
be  of  use  to  any  speaker,  and  help  to  overcome  bad  habits,  whilst  to 
the  young  student  they  will  be  invaluable  from  the  start." 

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PUBLISHED   BY   S.    C.    GRIGGS   6-    CO.,    CHICAGO. 

OLD-TIME  PICTURES 

AND 

SHEAVES    OF    RHYME. 

By  BENJ.  F.   TAYLOR. 


T.ed  Line  Edition,  with  Eight  Fine   Full -Page  Illustrations.    Small  Quarto, 
Silk  Cloth,  $2.00;  Full  Gilt  Edges,  $2.50. 


John  G.  Whittier  writes  : — "  It  gives  me  pleasure  to  see  the  poems 
of  B.  F.  Taylor,  issued  by  your  house  in  a  form  worthy  of  their  merit. 
Such  pieces  as  the  '  OLD  VILLAGE  CHOIR,'  '  THE  SKYLARK,'  '  THE 
VANE  ON  THE  SPIRE,'  and  '  JUNE,'  deserve  their  good  setting." 

J.  G.  Holland  writes  : — "  I  have  spent  many  hours  over  your  book. 
The  'OLD  TIME  PICTURE'  is  crowdecl-with  verbal  felicities,  and  the 
closing  portion  of  it  as  soul-stirring  as  the  voice  of  a  trumpet.  *  * 
'A  WINTER'S  PSALM'  stands  out  on  these  pages  with  the  claim  of 
being  your  most  perfect  poem.  I  have  read  it  again  and  again.  *  * 
It  has  a  natural  unfolding  ;  it  is  at  home  in  its  rhythm ;  it  is  symmet 
rical  ;  it  is  dignified  ;  it  is  very  nearly  perfect." 

Lakeside  Monthly: — "  Of  all  the  Christmas  poems  in  reach  of  our 
readers,  let  us  commend  as  without  compeer  the  thrilling,  tender,  and 
most  musical  poem,  '  THE  CHILD  AND  THE  STAR.'  " 

San  Francisco  Bulletin: — "A  poet  he  is  in  the  true  sense;  a 
singer  of  songs  so  full  of  tenderness  and  melody  that  their  memory 
lingers  like  a  delicious  fragrance.  Several  of  his  lyrics  have  become 
classic.  *  *  His  '  RIVER  OF  TIME'  is  one  of  the  most  perfect 
poems  in  the  language,  original  in  conception,  full  of  beautiful  ima 
gery,  grandly  sonorous  in  rhythm." 

St.  Louis  Dispatch  : — "  Mr.  Taylor  is  a  word-painter  unsurpassed  in 
America.  His  style  is  rare,  quaint,  full  of  images  as  a  brook  of  peb 
bles,  and  his  rhythm  waves  and  undulates  as  softly  and  as  sensuously 
as  the  wind  that  sways  the  summer  wheat.  *  *  In  the  fields  he  sings 
the  songs  of  the  spring,  and  the  passion  flowers,  of  the  roses,  and  the 
summer  time.  His  are  the  birds'-notes.  He  interprets  the  quaint,  low 
tune  of  the  busy  wren,  the  soaring  snatches  of  the  sky-lark,  the  liquid 
language  of  the  oriole,  the  ever-sad  and  questioning  call  of  the  part 
ridge,  and  the  pheasant's  everlasting  monotone.  He  makes  beautiful 
pictures.  He  gives  one  champagne  to  drink — strong,  effervescing, 
delightful." 

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the  price  by 

S.  C.  GRIGGS  &  CO.,  Publishers,  Chicago. 


PUBLISHED  BY  S.  C.  GRIGGS  &>  CO.,  CHICAGO. 

"  The  man  who  can  secure  a  wide  reading  for  this  vol 
ume  will  do  an  amount  of  good  second  only  to  that  done 
by  him  who  wrote  it."  —  Northwestern  Christian  Advocate. 


Getting  On  in  the  World; 

OR,  HINTS  ON  SUCCESS  IN  LIFE. 
By  WILLIAM  MATEEWS,  LL.D., 

Prof,  of  Rhetoric  and  English  Literature,   University  of  Chicago. 
"Beautifully  printed,  and  handsomely  bound"  in  cloth.       -       $2.25 

Rev.  Noah  .Porter,  D.D.,  LL.D.,  Pres't  of  Yale  College: 
"A  book  in  which  there  is  abundant  matter  of  great  interest." 

Hon.  Henri/  W.  Paine,  LL.D.,  Boston,  Mass. :  "  Have 
read  it  through,  not  only  with  great  interest,  but  possibly,  late  as  it 
is,  with  some  profit.  Had  I  fallen  in  with  this  book  forty  years 
ago,  it  would  have  saved  me  FROM  MANY  SERIOUS  MISTAKES  AND 
THE  LOSS  OF  MUCH  TIME.  *  *  You  have  written  an  admirable 
book.  It  cannot  fail  to  do  good.  It  ought  to  be  in  the  hands  of 
all  young  men,  and  especially  of  all  yeung  scholars." 

Rev.  J.  M.  Gregory,  LL.D.,  President  of  Illinois  Indus 
trial  University  :  "  It  is  one  of  the  best  books  of  the  class  that  I 
have  ever  seen.  It  fills  me  with  a  sort  of  wonder  by  its  wealth  of 
incident  and  appropriate  anecdote.  *  *  The  book  is  eminently 
wholesome;  it  is  more  —  it  is  a  tonic  of  the  most  vigorous  sort,  and 
I  shall  advise  all  of  our  young  men  to  read  it." 

Edwin  P.  Whipple,  Esq.,  the  distinguished  critic,  in  the 
Boston  Globe  :  *  *  "  The  present  volume  of  Prof.  Mathews  indi 
cates  the  nicety  and  the  extent  of  his  English  studies,  in  the  rich 
ness  and  variety  of  his  quotations.  His  subjects  are  eminently 
practical,  and  he  treats  them  in  a  practical  way;  but  then  what 
wealth  of  illustration  he  brings  in  from  English  poets,  dramatists, 
divines,  lawyers,  and  jurists!  The  anecdotes  alone  of  the  book 
should  make  it  popular." 

Rev.  Dr.  Curry,  Professor  of  English  Literature,  Richmond 
College,  Va.  (in  the  Religious  Herald):  "Prof.  Mathews  has  given 
us  a  book  of  rare  interest.  We  have  read  it  with  delight  and  profit. 
The  style  is  clear  and  charming.  The  subjects  are  eminently  practi 
cal.  The  pertinent  illustrations  show  a  wide  and  careful  reading. 
This  volume  places  the  author  among  the  best  English  essayists. 
The  young  man  who  reads  this  volume  will  have  his  pulse  quick 
ened,  his  moral  vision  clarified,  his  faith  and  purpose  strengthened." 

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PUBLISHED  BY  S.  C.  GRIGGS  &  CO.,  CHICAGO. 

"Indispensable  to  every  public  or  private  library  -worthy 
of  the  name."  —  The  Christian  Intelligencer,  New  York. 


PRE-HISTORIC  RACES 

OF    THE 

UNITED    STATES. 

BY  J.  W.  FOSTER,  LL.D., 

Author  of  "  The  Physical  Geography  of  the  Mississippi  Valley." 

4:15  pages,  crown  8ro.,  with  a  large  number  of  Illustra 

tions,  engraved  expressly  for  the  work.        -         Price,  $3.5O 


CHAPTER  I.  —  The  Antiquity  of  Man  —  Evidences  in  Europe. 
CHAPTER  II.  —  The  Antiquity  of  Man—  Evidences  in  the  United  States. 
CHAPTER  III.—  The    Mound-Builders  —  The   Geographical   Distribution   of 

their  Works. 

CHAPTER  IV.  —Shell  Banks  —  Their  Geographical  Distribution. 
CHAPTER  V.  —  Mounds  and  Enclosures. 

CHAPTER  VI.—  The  Mound-Builders  —  Their  Arts  and  Manufactures. 
CHAPTER  VII.  —  Ancient  Mining  by  the  Mound-Builders. 
CHAPTER  VIII.  —  Crania  of  the  Mound-Builders. 

CHAPTER  IX.  —  Manners  and  Customs  as  the  Basis  of  Ethnic  Relations. 
CHAPTER  X.—  Who  were  the  Mound-Builders? 
CHAPTER  XL  —  The  Unity  of  the  Human  Race. 
CHAPTER  XII.—  Chronometric  Measurements  as  Applied   to    the  Antiquity 

of  Man.         Appendix  ;   Index. 


"  A  careful  examination  of  the  book  has  satisfied  us  that  it  is 
one  of  the  most  interesting  and  important  contributions  to  Ameri 
can  archaeology  that  have  yet  appeared,  and  will  take  rank  among 
the  leading  treatises  upon  the  general  subject  by  European  archae 
ologists. 

"  We  had  thought  of  making  some  extracts  from  the  volume,  but 
it  is  so  full  of  interest,  from  beginning  to  end,  as  to  make  selection 
perplexing;  and  were  it  not  for  the  restraints  of  copyright  we  should 
be  tempted  to  run  the  whole  work  through  the  Popular  Science 
Monthly,  as  it  contains  just  the  kind  of  information,  in  clear,  com 
pressed,  and  intelligible  form,  which  is  adapted  to  the  mass  of 
readers.  *  *  The  whole  exposition  is  condensed  into  400  pages, 
and  the  publishers  have  done  their  part,  in  the  fine  execution  of  the 
engravings,  and  the  beautiful  typography  of  the  book." —  The  Popu 
lar  Science  Monthly,  New  York. 

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S.  C.  GRIGGS  &  CO., 

Cliica/go. 


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